Feminism’s Terrible Legacy for Women
Dennis Prager wrote an article about the Four Legacies of Feminism. I never fell for any of these lies of feminism. I am not sure why since I was a product of the public school system, went to college, and even had a career, but feminism never held any appeal for me. Being a wife, mother, and keeper at home is all I ever wanted even though biblical womanhood was never taught to me.
Thankfully, I never drank the feminist koolaid. I never slept around with guys before I got married. I knew I wanted to save myself for the man I would one day marry. I figured there was more to sex than just sex (and I can tell you that I wasn’t the smartest teenager around nor taught a lot of wisdom but I trusted that God knew what He was commanding me to do). I never had a heartbreak after giving myself to a guy who didn’t truly love me enough to marry me. I never had to suffer through STDs. I never had to worry about getting pregnant outside of marriage. I never had to worry about comparing my husband to other guys I had slept with and I didn’t have to worry about him comparing me to other girls he had slept with. We were both virgins on our wedding night, praise the Lord!
I never fell for the feminist lie that a woman should have an established career before getting married. Yes, I did go to college but married soon after graduating from college. I went to college only because my dad wanted me to go and to hopefully find a husband. I did find a husband but it wasn’t until the second semester of my senior year. God had mercy upon me! I never dreamed about having a career. I didn’t want a career. I wanted a husband and children!
I never fell for the feminist lie that women should work outside of the home. I never wanted to work outside of the home. I worked as a waitress during my high school and college years and then as an elementary school teacher after marriage but I never wanted to do this. When I became a teacher, I only taught for a few years and during this time, I was either pregnant or nursing a baby. The moment when I knew this was completely unnatural was one day when I was in the principal’s bathroom during break, as I did every break, pumping my breasts. I knew and wanted so badly to be home with my baby feeding her at my breast.
I never fell for the feminist lie of never needing a man. I wanted a man to provide for me and protect me. I wanted him to eventually provide for my children, too. I knew I needed a man for many things. He can’t have the children but I can and he can do the providing while I care for the children. God gave us each different but equally important roles!
How about you, young women? Have you fallen for the lies of feminism? Biblical femininity is completely opposite of feminism. The only thing that feminism truly fought against was God and His will for women. We have nothing to thank feminism for except for the destruction of marriage, family, children, and culture.
In conclusion, I want to give some words of encouragement to those of you who fell for the lies of feminism and have suffered for it. God is great at restoring the years the locusts have eaten! At any point in your life, you can repent (do a 180) and turn to the Lord and His beautiful ways. Sure, you may bear scars of sexual immorality and the loss of your children’s childhood and maybe even a marriage, but God can still use you in mighty ways when you turn to Him and allow Him to work in and through you; for He makes all things new!
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
Romans 8:28
27 thoughts on “Feminism’s Terrible Legacy for Women”
A generation of bitter angry women unfulfilled trying to be what they never can….
Yes, I fell for the feminist lies!
I was a career woman. I was divorced. I was independent! Thankfully, somehow, I never put my kids in daycare. Even in my twisted thinking at the time, daycare was an evil I completely rejected.
I believed in God, but did not consult Him on anything. Oh, I went crying to Him when there was a crisis. I spent decades in this corrupted lifestyle. The years of rebellion took its toll on me.
Nearing the age of 50, almost unspeakable darkness consumed my life. With each event, I continued to rebel and lean in harder on self reliance. After all, I was a strong, independent woman! I could overcome anything with enough grit and determination! Right??!! But each time I continued to rebel, I’d get taken out, worse than before.
Finally, I gave up the fight. I fell literally to my knees, face in the floor and cried out for forgiveness. I repented and submitted to all of God’s will. I immediately made huge changes. I left the career and sold everything I owned. My family, friends, co workers all thought I had completely lost it! I didn’t care! I was FREE! God loves me! Jesus saves me!
Hallelujah! I was a very sick woman mentally, emotionally, SPIRITUALLY! I spent nearly a year, mostly alone, in prayer and communion with the Lord. Oh what a sweet and loving Father!
As I began to recover from all the years I spent sick with feminism, the Lord blessed me for my obedience. I felt so much regret (still do) for all the years I lived against His design for me as His daughter. In spite of my kicking and screaming, He never gave up on me. It’s a shame that in my free will, I chose all the hardship. It didn’t have to be that bad (And trust me. It was BAD). BUT these days I am grateful God allowed it. For me, it took that much hardship, to appreciate the joy and peace and sweetness of being a woman of God!
Yes! We can be restored! Transformed! Roman’s 12:2 was the very FIRST VERSE the Lord showed me when I picked up His Word and began to study! The Lord knew I was brainwashed! So he gave me His Word to fix that! I had to renew my mind! Continually! And not conform to the world!
On my 50th birthday, I was born again. That was 7 years ago. Brings tears to my eyes as I write this.
Thank you, Lord God!
Thank you, Lori for this blog.
Thanks to all of you ladies who participate here!
I am GRATEFUL.
PS…today is my wedding anniversary. God blessed me with a godly husband! And today I’m a very happy stay at home wife!
Happy Anniversary, Dana, and thankfully, no one is ever too old and it’s never too late for the Lord to work His transforming power in one’s life. Thank you for sharing! Our God is great.
I totally bought into the lies.
I sought (and was pushed) to achieve high scores, be the best in my field of study, participated in honors and in school groups, obtained scholarships, applied for elitist colleges, got into NYU, graduated with high honors and ultimately wanted to be a college professor one day. Nearly all my professors said I had potential. BUT I loved children outside of any career-driven field. I got a degree in music education because I loved children. Every teacher aspires to make difference, right? I would never know now because out of all the students I taught, over 400 at a time, I highly doubt I’d ever meet them long down the road.
After marriage, I taught for a year and a half. Got pregnant, and quit. But I still wanted to work. I taught at a daycare, thinking this would be the most ideal since I could bring my newborn and still watch the other children. Young mothers from church applauded me for this, and I even encouraged other pregnant moms to do the same. After having my son, everything changed.
Now I love staying home and could never dream of going back to work. And you know, I’m making a difference with my own son and I’ll get to see this long down the road. None of my academic past matters. Of all the time I spent striving for letters on a page that can burn easily, I could have spent learning skills for the home — and I am certainly reaping the 80K+ debt I sowed. I met my husband at college, which was a Godsend, but other than that it was more or less useless.
I was blessed to be raised by a homemaker, even though she was and is a feminist in some regards (the irony), but I know I clearly suffered unnecessary hours for my studies when it could have been put to other useful skills.
I’m in my mid 20’s and am trying to make some income from home, without a boss telling me what to do. Young ladies, please don’t buy into the lies. Needless debt is truly an atrocity. How great of a blessing it is to be at home with your children. And how great will the reward be later on.
Lori, thanks for enlightening me on feminism and how very evil it is.
I think you might find this, unfortunately fortunately, interesting;
https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smithsonian-institution/home-womans-work-never-done-never-honored-and-never-paid-180971703/
And this;
https://www.newsweek.com/fox-friends-feminists-ruin-elegance-1443371
This doesn’t really have to do with feminism per se, but one way I learned to be a submissive Godly was wife (and not fall into the lies of feminism) was to establish with my husband early on (we’ve been married 29 years) his thoughts and opinions on everything and to let him guide me.
This might not work for everyone, but in the first year of marriage I asked him to give me a daily list (written…so some thought went into it) of 5-7 things he thought I could improve, do better, think differently about, things that would please him, things that I did that displeased him, etc. This helped me to really know and understand him better and also helped me not to focus only on myself or doing things my way. I told him nothing was off the list…it could be how I kept the house, maybe I talked to him disrespectfully, the way I disciplined the kids, what kind of food I prepared, my appearance, etc. I think too many women want to put their heads in the sand and think they are perfect and aren’t open to constructive feedback. By doing this daily exercise (and we are still doing it 29 years later — I look forward to my daily list!), it helped me be a better wife and be more in tune to the things that really mattered.
Very wise words KAR,
And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren. (Romans 8:28-29)
As Christians (the church), our lifelong sanctification process is (daily) being conformed to the image of Jesus Christ. As the wife represents the church in the marriage picture, she should also be (daily) conforming herself to her husband.
For you to have done this with with your husband daily for 29 years is beyond (this husbands) comprehension. I bet no husband could possibly love and cherish his wife more than your husband loves and cherishes you. What an outstanding example of Godly womanhood.
Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her; So he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil All the days of her life…….. Her children rise up and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praises her: “Many daughters have done well, But you excel them all.” Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.
Great comment and thanks for sharing our story Dana! Don’t we serve a great, mighty and graciously forgiving God!
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come” (2 Cor. 5:17).
I would definitely say this is up to the husband’s personality if he agrees with this practice or not. My husband hates when I ask about every little thing and expects me to run the house without any of his input, save if something really bothers him. Likewise, he sees me asking about my appearance to him as a sign of vanity and a lack of confidence.
I wouldn’t necessarily “teach” this to younger women as an expectation in marriage. To each couple their own — it sounds like it works great for you two.
Loved and cherished? I’m not so sure about that. The fact that I’m still getting 5-7 corrections a day shows you how unworthy and disappointing I must be as a wife. i know that in my heart, but everyday I try to make myself worthy of being loved.
I never bought into the feminist lies. As far back as I remember I loved and appreciated femininity and wanted to be a wife and mother and no amount of misogynistic feminism could bully it out of me. I never wanted to go to university and while I am in university now I’m going mainly to find a husband and because my father has made sure that I will get out debt free. Feminism is just a bunch of angry masculine women who hate on feminine and traditional women because they secretly know that they can’t deny their biology. Feminism has ruined women’s elegance and class and call it “liberation”.
Asking for (and being receptive to) constructive criticism from your husband Kate and pestering him “about every little thing” are two very different things.
You, figuring out what YOUR husband likes (running the household on your own) and does not like (you asking about your appearance) and honoring his wishes IS you conforming to him.
Feminism is a very deceptive thing. When I was a practicing feminist, I didn’t think I was. In fact I complained about what I characterized as the Feminists; they looked and acted like men, pro abortion, dumping their kids in day care, marching in parades. I did none of those things.
Well, except I did behave like a man…because I was not behaving as a godly woman.
And that’s the point. Some of us think we are not feminists, because maybe we are not ugly loud and pushy. But our overall lifestyles demonstrate otherwise.
I had a big career. My own money
Nobody told me what to do. And I was completely self reliant. I consciously determined I would not be in the service of any man. To the world I looked well accomplished and put together.
So yes, I was a feminist. And i didn’t even know it!
I pray that women will be careful. The deception is not always immediately obvious.
Thank you Ken and Lori.
I appreciate your kind words.
You are worthy. You are so worthy. Nothing you do or say can ever make you less worthy of the most love. You are a human being; we are all worthy and should accept nothing less than love.
I certainly did everything contrary to the Word despite being “raised in the church” and coming from a religious family. Even my father – a leader in his church – encouraged me to become an independent woman, supporting the feminist ideology — without recognizing it as such. Just as Dana describes, I, too, was a feminist and I didn’t even know it.
I began reading this blog about a year ago. I’m not sure how I came across it but I’m so glad I did. Thank you, Lori, for willingly serving in this manner.
You’re welcome, Niti. Older women need to step up in all of the churches and begin to teach biblical womanhood to the young women. They need to hear about the beauty of God’s ways.
Yes, without the guidance of elder women how will the younger wives know what’s best for our marriage? So grateful for your blog so grateful
I can relate; I never really felt loved or cherished by my husband. I would get a lot of corrections, too, and I could count on them almost daily unless something happened that distracted him from it. The challenge was trying to act like it was fine and didn’t really matter, when often it was like getting hit in the chest.
Detachment is crucial. Only with detachment can you look at everything objectively. For me, I had to decide what I could and could not do. I told him what I could do and what I could not do — physically, mentally, emotionally. He did not always like this. But I learned that just because I couldn’t do everything didn’t mean I was disrespecting him. I simply couldn’t be perfect at everything.
While marriage did not improve, my life improved, and I was able to focus on the important stuff. It meant learning to go without the love of a man, and having to rely on Christ to provide that. And I’ll be frank — sometimes that’s just plain depressing. It is today. Today I am vulnerable. I want my husband’s affection. I am really working hard to focus and do without it. Today was rough and I want his arms, super bad. So I’m doing other things instead; certainly no shortage of chores, and that will keep me focused. Christ meets all my needs. All I have to do is go towards Him and ask Him to take me into His arms. I know that…..just so darn hard to KNOW that right now.
Dear LadyOfReason, but i cannot help but to wonder, if many of these loud malcontented women had dads / husbands who were lazy, drunken / otherwise worthless. Once narc’d, especially during childhood, hard to rise above it. Sad thing, even in the churches, these terribly defrauded women just get preached at (and too seldom actually prayed for).
Kate – I would agree to an extent. My husband leaves the day to day running of the home, childcare etc to me. But on the basis that I know how he would like it done and if in doubt about something I ask.
Aside from personal preference the way a wife / mother looks and dresses is (or should be) hugely influenced by her wish to keep modest and honour Gods design for us in her femininity. My husband isn’t generally going to be interested in the print of my dress, but he does want it to be a dress (or skirt / top) and to be modest – etc
Dana – I completely agree, feminism is very deceptive and easily pervades our lives without our being aware of or intending it. It drags us away from Godly womanhood from a very young age and it leads us to accept things as ‘normal’ such as, contraception (which countless generations of women would have known to be sinful – had it been available), masculine clothing, immodesty and the desertion of our own children all of which are so clearly against God’s plan.
Great post Lori! I luckily have stayed away from the lies of feminism, but my eldest daughter has drunk from the proverbial koolaid. My pain when she said that she never planned on having kids, and not getting married crushed me. Even worse, her reasoning was that she wants a career over all of that. She told me “I won’t need a man when I’m getting my gold medal at the Olympics” I’ve been praying night and day for her.
I disagree with this advice. I thought of something similar. However I realised it could very quickly become detrimental. It is impossible to please another human being 100% of the time and it’s fruitless to try. We are wiser to please God and God alone. And be content in Him. Advice such as this will only lead to misery in the end. ☹️
@A mom – just like @KAR, you too are worthy of love and you are loved! Keep your head up and be kind to yourself. I hope you find something special in today. Be well, friend.
I am a feminist. I am not married. I don’t want kids. I am not a virgin. I don’t see myself ever getting married. I also have a career.
That being said, I really like reading your posts. I like to read a different view point. And I will never bash anyone’s views, because everyone has the right to live as they please. I am happy with my life and I am very happy to see others being happy with their life.
“Christ meets all my needs. All I have to do is go towards Him and ask Him to take me into His arms. I know that….just so darn hard to KNOW that right now.” I relate to this so much. It is never easy, is it? praying for you A Mon. God bless
I’m like you, Alese. I am not married because am recovering from different kinds of abuse and I have health issues which make raising children hard plus am neurodiverse. I am not The Transformed Wife’s demographic at all, being a born again Christian who is happy being single and childless but I enjoy reading her posts. I do believe the advice to women to be modest, discreet, keep our homes well can apply to us single women too. In this day and age because we have so may labour saving devices keeping home can be for the single women who has to work (as she has no man to support her) too. As long as we are not idle busybodies, and not therefore blaspheming the word of God, that is fine. Paul advised both genders to marry in order to flee fornication, though.