The Transformed Wife
Is It Better If You Don’t Marry? Is This God’s Will for Most?
A woman responded to this post I shared on my Facebook this way: “This is so wrong and not from God! He says it is better not to marry if you don’t need to (or want to). It is better to focus on following Jesus and serving others. It is not wrong to want or need to marry, but it is better if you don’t.”
Timothy Allen responded to her: What you’ve just done is twist the word of God to deceive. You said, “He says it is better not to marry, if you don’t need (have desires) or want to.” ….or want to? Since when do our “wants” enter into fulfilling the commands of God (Be fruitful and multiply)? Answer: THEY DON’T!
As TTW has pointed out, this verse is speaking of the few, the EXTREME FEW, who God has given no desire for physical intimacy, because that belongs exclusively in the realm of marriage.
WANT…
of a career
of a cat
of a relationship with a box of wine…
Has got NOTHING to do with it! You notice Paul later says that young widows ought to marry and keep having children (1 Timothy 5:14). Zero mention of “if they want,” but he does point out that it is to keep them out of the types of mischief that feminism INVITES women to do (1 Timothy 5:13).
Feminism LIES to women and tells them to go ahead and not marry and just be out and proud SLUTS (no slut-shaming). That is, you have the desires Paul speaks of, but you don’t have to get married to fulfill them. Here, you try to expand that to being not only a matter of (unnatural/abnormal) lack of desire for sexual intimacy, but also to include “eh…if you feel like it.”
Finally, I love how Paul honestly points out, “Now as a concession, not a command, I say this” (1 Corinthians 7:6).
It’s not an absolute. It’s his earthly wisdom, and it is good if you keep it in proper context, which you have failed to do. A woman with asexual desires had best *NOT* marry, because she will be depriving her husband in sin!
How many women does that truly apply to, do you think?
And what does “want” have to do with it?
Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
1 Corinthians 7:2
But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.
1 Corinthians 7:9
***Subscribe to my blog HERE.
My 95 Year Old Dad’s Childhood
My dad was born on April 24, 1931. He turns 95 years old today. He was in my home recently, so I decided to gather as much information as I could about his childhood. I didn’t know much about it at all, sadly. (Make sure to ask your parents about their childhood before they die!)
He grew up in a small apartment above a bowling alley in North Chicago. It was about 600 square feet. His bed was right above where the pins were hit. He’s always been a great sleeper because of this! He had his own bedroom with a small closet. (People didn’t have as many clothes as we do these days.) His parents’ bed was in the living room, where the radio and some chairs were, with a curtain separating them.
His family didn’t have a car, telephone, television, or refrigerator. They had a small ice box. A man brought a 25-pound box of ice once a week to put into it. His mother had a Singer sewing machine that she had to pedal to make it work. She made all of her dresses because she only wore dresses. All the women did back then. She bought my dad’s few clothes from Sears.
There was a small grocery store a block away. His mom would go and tell the owner what she wanted. The owner would collect the food, then put it on her tab, which his dad would pay every other week after he got his paycheck.
My dad’s dad worked as a machinist at Abbott Labs. He walked the five blocks to work every day. Chicago gets frigid in the winters! He never made more than three dollars an hour, yet he never wanted his wife to work. He wanted her to raise their son at home. My dad never wanted my mom to be in the workforce either. He wanted her to raise us instead of strangers. (Thank you, Dad!)
His dad smoked two packs of cigarettes a day since he was 13 years old until he died from lung cancer at the age of 75. He wasn’t a believer until two years before his death. He called my dad one day, two years before he died, and told him he had listened to Billy Graham and decided to believe in Jesus Christ! His mother was a strong believer and took my dad on the streetcar to Sunday School and church every Sunday. My dad never once heard his mom and dad argue. She was a kind and gracious woman.
My dad told me he never remembers going to a restaurant or on vacation, but he never felt poor. He had parents who loved each other, a roof over his head, a bed to sleep in, and food in his belly. He told me all types of fornication were frowned upon back then. Mothers were home full-time with their children. Most marriages were for a lifetime. Women dressed modestly.
My dad wasn’t poor. Many children these days are poor. They have all of the modern conveniences, but they don’t have parents who love each other; many have parents who are divorced. They’re exposed to all types of depravity on TV, social media, billboards, and even in schools. They spend their days in front of screens. He said even in North Chicago, where everyone was as poor as they were, there were no gangs and little crime. Crime was dealt with swiftly back then. They were learning reading, writing, and arithmetic in schools instead of feminism and Marxism. People were thankful to be living in America. It was definitely different back then.
Children’s children are the crown of old men; and the glory of children are their fathers.
Proverbs 17:6
***Subscribe to my blog HERE.
They Purposed to Abstain From Debt
Written By Glenn Schreiber on Facebook
We started our marriage in debt from my wife’s student loans. It was minimal, and we rented a home at a low cost and saved up to purchase our first home debt free. This was 1990 through 1993. We purposed to abstain from debt, and raised our five children to live that way themselves.
“Now godliness with contentment is great gain”
“And He said to them, ‘Take heed and beware of covetousness, for one’s life does not consist in the abundance of the things he possesses.'”
“Therefore put to death your members which are on the earth: fornication, uncleanness, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.”
“Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.'”
We lived in contentment to the Lord. If we could not afford something without going into debt, we knew it was the Lord’s will for us to not have it. Abstaining from covetousness guided our purchasing decisions, and also kept us debt free.
Now years later, we have been able to help our children abundantly with their many needs.
I have seen other families live this way for decades also, and the Lord has faithfully provided for them every step of the way, often in highly extraordinary and conspicuously miraculous ways.
With all due respect, I personally think the practice of leveraging debt to make more money is a great trap for many today. The Lord is still able to keep families free of covetousness, and work contentment and thankfulness for little in their hearts.
The Titus 2 lifestyle of women keeping the home, and men laboring and providing brings enough. “Give me neither poverty nor riches” (Proverbs 30:8).
If you can use debt to make money to get out of debt quickly, do so. Flee like a gazelle.
Give no sleep to your eyes,
Nor slumber to your eyelids.
Deliver yourself like a gazelle from the hand of the hunter,
And like a bird from the hand of the fowler.
Proverbs 6:4,5
***Subscribe to my blog HERE.
Idolizing Stars
When I was a child, there was never any star that I idolized. I didn’t have pictures of any famous singers or actresses on my wall. I’m not sure why, since most of my friends had stars they idolized. Maybe it was because I was secure having a mom and dad who loved me. Maybe it’s because I always believed in Jesus. My mom never taught me not to idolize anyone, but neither of my sisters did either.
The other day, my sisters and I went out to lunch for my younger sister’s birthday. One of my sisters said during lunch, “There’s Forrest Frank.” I wouldn’t have recognized him if she hadn’t pointed him out. I only knew who he was because I had played his song “Thankful” on my Instagram stories. Later on, he went outside, and we watched him for about 15 minutes. He was with his friend, Alex, who sometimes sings with him, and their wives and children were there too.
He played with one of his children. He was laughing a lot and very expressive. I decided to take some pictures like the one above since I knew women on Instagram would like it. I had no idea how popular he was until I went home and searched his Instagram. My sister told us that when they went to Disneyland, his family was so mobbed that they had to go home. This is worshiping stars. I don’t do that. She did tell us she’s seen him at a few other healthy-food restaurants in town, so he’s into healthy eating! She’s never tried to talk to him either.
Even though the restaurant was practically empty (2:00 pm on a Thursday), I had no desire to go over to take a selfie with him or get his autograph. I didn’t want to interrupt his time with his family and friends. I had no right to do that. I wouldn’t idolize him even if I knew how popular he was. He’s a human being made in the likeness of God with the gift of singing. We’re all made in the likeness of God with special gifts. We all sin. We all need a Savior. Yes, I’m thankful he seems to be open with his faith, and I enjoy the song “Thankful.” I can appreciate someone’s talent without idolizing them. Anyone on this earth that you make into an idol will eventually disappoint you. Worship God alone. He will never disappoint you!
Little children, keep yourselves from idols. Amen.
1 John 5:21
***Subscribe to my blog HERE.
If Women Left the Workforce…
If women left the workforce:
1. Marriage would be common again.
2. Marriages would be stronger.
3. Divorce would be lower.
4. Unborn babies and children would be wanted.
5. Children would be raised by their own mothers.
6. More jobs for men with higher wages.
7. Crime would be lower.
8. Families would eat healthier.
9. Mental health issues would plummet.
10. More men would be in leadership positions.
11. More community and help for women.
12. Women would be more fertile.
13. Women would have fewer miscarriages and be healthier due to less stress.
14. Birth rates would rise.
15. Stronger families, churches, and nations.
16. Less taxes paid out, smaller government.
17. Fewer abortions and STDs.
18. The elderly would be cared for at home.
19. Fornication and adultery would decrease.
20. More children would be homeschooled.
21. Daycares would evaporate.
22. Men would recover a sense of duty, being needed and respected as sole providers.
23. Women would be less masculine.
24. Less drama in the workforce.
I understand when I write posts like this, some of you may think I’m a dreamer and unrealistic. I understand we live on a fallen planet filled with wickedness. Still, I do know that when nations that adhere to biblical ways (1 Timothy 5:14), as many in America did before feminism reared its ugly head, culture was far better than when most adhere to feminism and its ways, as it is now. God is good, and His will is perfect (Romans 12:2).
Thus saith the Lord, Stand ye in the ways, and see, and ask for the old paths, where is the good way, and walk therein, and ye shall find rest for your souls. But they said, We will not walk therein.
Jeremiah 6:16
*** Subscribe to my blog HERE.
She Excels Them All – Proverbs 31:29-31
“Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.” (Proverbs 31:29-31)
How does she excel them all? “…in real beauty, in true riches, in purity of doctrine, in simplicity of worship, in holiness of life and conversation, in undefiled religion, in doing good works, properly so called. Christ’s church is ‘the fairest among women’ (Solomon 1:8).” (Gill’s Commentary)
The Proverbs 31 woman was hard-working. She looked well to the ways of her household. Yet her most valuable quality was her deep love and commitment to the Lord and His Word. This is true and lasting beauty. Our outward man decays over time. I know! I have gray hair, wrinkles, and age spots. My hair is thinning, and my body doesn’t look the same as it did when I was young. This happens to everyone who is blessed to live a long life. I am thankful to have lived this long! I do understand the blessing of wisdom and discernment, however. I see clearly the blessings of living for the Lord. Living for self is empty. Living for the Lord and others is fulfilling and what we were created to do!
“Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain. Outward graces do not last; praise that will be real and enduring is for those only who fear the Lord, and, out of regard for Him, perform the duties of life as the ‘virtuous woman’ here described.” (Ellicot’s Commentary)
Many women these days live for the spotlight. They post selfies all over social media. They present a home that looks perfect. They can be whatever they choose to be for each picture they take. They do it for the likes and praise. They are putting their hope in their looks and the image they present. This is deceitful and vain. This isn’t lasting. It’s temporary. The applause from the world is short-lived. Live solely for the Lord. This is all that matters, women.
God cares about how we love our husbands by speaking highly of them and doing them good. He wants us to work hard at home for our families and not be lazy. He wants us not to live in fear but by faith in Him for everything. He wants our words to be from wisdom and kindness. He wants us to repent and believe in Him. Then, if we love Him, we will obey Him. This is the most important and valuable quality of all.
“Give her of the fruit of her hands; it is but just and fit that she should enjoy those benefits and praises which her excellent labours deserve. Let her own works praise her; give her the praises which her own works may challenge. If men be silent, the lasting effects of her prudence and diligence will loudly trumpet forth her praises. In the gates; in the most public and solemn assemblies.” (Matthew Poole’s Commentary)
***The first post in this series: A Beautiful Ideal of a Woman’s Life.
***Subscribe to my blog HERE.
Her Children Call Her Blessed – Proverbs 31:28
“Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.”
“Her children arise up — Whose testimony is the more considerable, because they have been constant eye-witnesses of her whole conduct, and, therefore, must have seen her misdemeanours, if there had been any, as well as her virtues; and call her blessed — Both for her own excellences, and for many happy fruits which they have gathered from her wise and godly education of them. Her husband also — Ariseth to bear witness to her excellence; and he praiseth her.” (Benson Commentary)
Who knows you better than anyone else? Your husband and children! They see how you handle conflict, rebuke, trials, sufferings, and all of the other things life throws at you. They see if you’re teaching your children one thing but doing the opposite. They know if you’re a hypocrite or a woman who is a doer of the Word, not just a hearer. How can you possibly live a godly life in front of your family? By being in the Word daily and praying diligently. Listening to solid men preach God’s Word. Singing hymns and spiritual songs often and hiding His Word in your heart so you won’t sin against Him. This is how God transforms you, women!
“Her children arise up, and call her blessed. She is a fruitful mother of children, who, seeing her sedulity and prudence, and experiencing her affectionate care, celebrate and praise her, and own that she has rightly won the blessing of the Lord. Her husband also praiseth her, in the words given in the next verse. Having the approbation of her husband and children, who know her best, and have the best opportunities of judging her conduct, she is contented and happy.” (Pulpit Commentary)
What can be more of a reward in life than this, and having your grown children walking in Truth? NOTHING! I watch these movie stars and women in commercials. They believe becoming famous and making lots of money will fill the empty void in their hearts. They are sadly mistaken. It’s only Jesus who can fill that void, and there are many blessings when you walk in obedience to Him. He is our Creator, and His will is perfect. He created us to be wives, mothers, and homemakers. If you aren’t married or have children, please read this for encouragement. And at the end of our lives, the greatest praise we can receive is from our Saviour: “Well done, good and faithful servant” is Jesus’ commendation to those who faithfully use the gifts and responsibilities entrusted to them, promising reward and joy in His presence (Matthew 25:21).
***The final post in this series: She Excels Them All.
***Subscribe to my new blog HERE.
She Looks Well to the Ways of Her Household – Proverbs 31:27
“She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.” Proverbs 31:27
“She diligently observes the management of her domestic business, and the whole carriage of her children and servants. Whereby he also intimates, that she spends not her time in gadding abroad to other people’s houses, and in idle discourses about the concerns of other persons, as the manner of many women is, but is wholly intent upon her own house.” (Benson Commentary)
It’s so easy to be distracted from home life these days with smartphones, TVs, social media, an abundance of stores to shop in, children’s activities, etc. These can all be time-wasters that take us away from what God calls us to do, namely, to be keepers at home. We must work hard at home. God’s Word warns us that women are prone to be idle, tattlers, and busybodies (1 Timothy 5:13). A tattler tells tales and loves to gossip. A busybody loves to pry and meddle in the affairs of others. It’s easy for us to do this since we are relationship-oriented, but we must decide to stop doing this!
Instead, we must focus on the good in others and set our minds upon Christ. We must diligently work hard in our homes to keep them clean and tidy, train and teach our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, and study and learn how to keep our family healthy by preparing the best food possible for them. This is a full-time job! It’s also our mission field. We don’t want to gain the world and lose our family. This is what God called us to do, and it’s good.
“She takes care of the sick and weak, comforts the feeble-minded, and supports the infirm; she cannot bear them that are evil, whether in principle or practice; that are immoral in their lives, or unsound in their faith; but admonishes them according to the nature of their offences, and casts out the obstinate or incorrigible.” (Gill’s Commentary)
Our husband and children need us to be home and available for them when they are sick. We must also guard our home against wickedness. It’s all around us in this evil world. The Bible tells us that this whole world lies in wickedness. We must put on the full armor of the Lord daily and grow in our faith, so we can easily distinguish good from evil. Anything that the Bible calls evil, we must avoid. Don’t compromise with the world. We are a remnant who walk on the narrow path to life. Let your children see that this is the best and only path to walk on. It leads to eternal life! No, our obedience doesn’t save us. Jesus Christ’s death and resurrection save us when we believe in Him. He paid the penalty for all of our sins. Our obedience flows out of our salvation. If we love Him, we will obey Him.
***Here’s the next post in this series: Her Children Call Her Blessed.
***Subscribe to my blog HERE.
She Opens Her Mouth with Wisdom – Proverbs 31:26
“She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.” Proverbs 31:26
“She openeth her mouth with wisdom; she is neither sullenly silent, nor full of vain and impertinent talk, as many women are, but speaks directly and piously, as occasion offereth itself.” (Matthew Poole’s Commentary)
Out of her mouth flow pearls of wisdom. She loves teaching her children about the Lord and His ways throughout the day. She ponders what to say before she says it. She is wise because she lets the Word of God dwell in her richly. She meditates upon it. She listens to godly preachers. She loves the Lord and His ways. She passes her faith down to her children. She speaks words of wisdom to her neighbors and prays diligently for them. She clearly distinguishes between good and evil, which is a mark of a mature believer in Jesus Christ.
“In her tongue is the law of kindness; her speeches are not froward and provoking, as those of foolish women frequently are, but most obliging and amiable, as being guided by wisdom and grace, and not by inordinate lusts and passions. And this practice is called a law in her tongue, because it is constant and customary, and proceeds from an inward and powerful principle of true wisdom, which in a manner necessitates and constrains her to discourse like herself, so that in a moral sense she cannot speak otherwise, unless she offer violence to herself, or the nature of the thing require sharp and severe expressions.” (Matthew Poole’s Commentary)
Her goal is to speak the truth in love. If there is no love, the truth will be ignored. This also requires speaking the hard truths that may deeply offend people. Her purpose is never to offend, but for truth to be known. She understands that Truth never comes back void, so she trusts the Lord to use her words for His glory and purposes. She desires that all will be saved and come to the knowledge of the truth. She wants to be a vessel used for the Lord and His glory alone; therefore, she tries to be known for being gracious in word and deed.
Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.
Ephesians 4:29
***Here is the next post in the series: She Looks Well to the Ways of Her Household.
***Subscribe to my blog HERE.
She is Not Afraid of the Snow for Her Household – Proverbs 31:21,22
“She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet. She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.” Proverbs 31:21,22
“She is not afraid of the snow or of any injuries from the weather. All her household are clothed with scarlet; she hath provided enough, not only for their necessity and defence against cold and other inconveniences, which is here supposed, but also for their delight and ornament; so that not only herself, and husband, and children, but some of the better rank of her servants, wear scarlet; which was more cheap and familiar in those times and countries than now it is with us. Or, as it is rendered in our margin, and by divers others, are clothed with double garments, which is necessary and customary in cold seasons.” (Matthew Poole’s Commentary)
Back in biblical times, they used real materials to clothe themselves, such as cotton, linen, and wool. There was no cheap, toxic polyester made from petroleum. This is the only reason we all have too much clothing, far more than we need!
There are two observations I have about this:
1) Real materials cost more, but they are far better materials to wear. Everything God made is better than man-made. They allow the skin to breathe and have no ill effect on our health or the environment.
2) Since clothing is so much cheaper and easier to buy, we buy too much. It seems quality (God-made fabrics) would be far wiser to buy than quantity (man-made). Then we would be more careful about what we buy. We would actually wear and enjoy our clothing instead of just stuffing our closets with far too many clothes. I have heard we wear 10 percent of our clothing 90 percent of the time. Give the clothes you don’t wear away to someone who may need and enjoy them. Also, be content with the clothes you have. Shopping shouldn’t be a hobby. Shop only when you need something, for godliness with contentment is great gain.
“Coverings of tapestry, for the furniture of her house. Silk and purple, which was very agreeable to her high quality, though it doth not justify that luxury in attire which is now usual among persons of far lower ranks, both for wealth and dignity.” (Matthew Poole’s Commentary)
She beautifies her home by making coverings for her furniture. How do you beautify your home? I love simple and uncluttered. I want those who come into my home to be comfortable. I decorate my walls with Scripture and family pictures, mostly. These are what I treasure. I do my best to keep it clean and tidy.
Remember, the Proverbs 31 woman was a queen. This is why she clothed herself in silk and purple. Purple symbolizes royalty. Now, it’s fine if you want to wear purple silk! There are many women who go to Goodwill stores and find quality clothing there for a fraction of the full price. Clothe your family in the best quality clothing you can afford, but never go into debt over it. Do what you can with what you have.
***Here is the next post in the series: Her Husband is Known in the Gates.
***Subscribe to my blog HERE.