How to Find a Husband

How to Find a Husband

Many men and women tell me that they can’t find a spouse. This seems to becoming more and more prevalent as culture grows more wicked. I just saw a meme yesterday that if revival ever were to come to this nation, there will be many wedding bells ringing! Nowadays, most couples simply live together until they grow tired of each other. But there will always be a remnant who want to live their lives in obedience to Christ. So what can godly women do to help themselves find a husband?

Men are attracted to debt-free virgins without tattoos! 🙂 (I had to slip that in since it caused such an uproar, but it’s true.) Men are attracted to joy-filled women. This is the quality that men enjoy most. They don’t want pessimistic, complaining, and unhappy women. How do you learn to be joy-filled? Spend time in the Word. Sing praises to His name. Dwell on the good and the lovely. Smile and laugh often. Smiles and a cheerful countenance are what make you beautiful!

Learn femininity and having a meek and quiet spirit. This means you aren’t led by your emotions but by the truths found in God’s Word instead. Dress feminine and modest. Do what is in your power and means to look the best that you can, but your words and behavior will be what stands out the most. Don’t speak and laugh too loudly. Men aren’t attracted to loud, opinionated women.

What else can a young woman do? They need to learn homemaking skills. Men want women who are good cooks. Many women don’t cook these days. They say they can’t. This is absurd. Everyone can learn to cook. Watch YouTube videos. Ask your friends for their favorite recipes. Take classes if you want. Also, learn to keep a clean and tidy home. Pick up after yourself. Find a place for everything and put it back after you use it. Be a hard worker. Go to bed with the kitchen clean and always make your bed right when you get out of it.

Get in shape. Exercise. Be outside as often as possible to get fresh air and sunshine. Eat healthy. Learn nutrition. Eat less. Be known for your moderation and self-control. These things will benefit you for life.

Be involved in your church and community, and learn to serve others. Having a servant’s heart will be a great benefit to your marriage. Our culture pushes selfishness on us. God wants us to have servant’s hearts. Serve in the nursery, the old folks’ home, or anywhere else you can find a way to help others. These keeps your mind off of yourself and onto others.

Put down your smart phone and remind yourself that relationships are far more important than anything on your phone. Don’t allow it to consume you! Look at people when they talk and listen to what they are saying. When you’re out with people, maybe even on a date, don’t look at your phone!

In the meantime, learn contentment in your singleness; for godliness with contentment is great gain (1 Timothy 6:6). God can still use you in powerful ways in your singleness. Don’t allow marriage and having children to become an idol in your life. Yes, they may be your heart’s desires but continually give them to the Lord and leave them there (Philippians 4:6). In this way, you will find great peace in the waiting and in God’s will for you now.

If any of you have any other ideas, please add them in the comment section!

Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
Proverbs 31:10

38 thoughts on “How to Find a Husband

  1. Honestly, I don’t even know how I found my fiancé! We knew of each other for years, officially started talking in December 2019, then he asked me to be his girlfriend in February. Three weeks later I thought “I’m gonna marry this man” immediately followed by “woah, where did THAT thought come from? I hardly know the guy!” But then I told him about it, a week later we got engaged and we’re set to get married soon. I still don’t quite know how we got here, but I’m sure this is a God thing because he meets all my requirements: 1) loves God 2) loves me 3) loves children 4) works hard.

  2. Be a godly woman. Don’t be loud and opinionated is so huge. No man wants a woman who is always giving her opinion and being confrontational. A man needs a woman who will follow him. Being independent and loud are turn offs.

  3. Young women, Lori is trying to show you God’s way. It is the best way.
    Notice its is WAY, as in a singular way. God does not have multiple ways subject to your interpretation by your feelings.
    God says that our hearts are deceitful above all things.

    I am 59 and I believe that it is too late for women in my age range to learn these things in time to attract a husband.
    Being 59 I do not have time to wait for 10-20-30 years for a woman to wise up to God’s way. And I have no desire to constantly fight with a contentious woman the remaining years of my life.

    So young women, I encourage you to stop listening to the feminists. They do not have your best interests as their agenda.

    Men are attracted to debt-free virgins without tattoos!
    Men are attracted to joy-filled women.
    Learn femininity and having a meek and quiet spirit.
    Dress feminine and modest.
    They need to learn homemaking skills.
    Get in shape.
    Put down your smart phone.

    A RESOUNDING YES TO THE ABOVE POINTS!!!!!

    Don’t allow marriage and having children to become an idol in your life.

    I would change the word marriage for wedding day.
    I have NEVER heard a woman say she was looking forward to her marriage.
    I have heard many women say she was looking forward to her wedding day and honeymoon trip.
    THAT IS A MAJOR DIFFERENCE.
    Most women are after the BIG EXPENSIVE wedding and then the EXPENSIVE honeymoon trip to some exotic place.
    Trying to out do other women on having a bigger wedding, etc.

    AND DON’T GET ME STARTED ON ALL THE WOMEN ON THEIR WEDDING DAY WHO HAVE ON SUCH SKIMPY CLOTHES SO THAT ALL THE MEN CAN SEE HER BODY!
    Your body is for ONLY your husband to see and enjoy.

    The last wedding I attended, the “christian” woman had on a short white skirt and her blouse was TOTALLY see thru except for 2 small patches placed over the ends of her breasts.

    If an intended bride to be of mine showed up dressed like that, I would call the marriage off. She is already showing me that she can not be trusted.

    Women, LEARN and DO God’s commandment for you. Every day that you refuse to do so is hurting you.

    1. I mean…I was super excited about my honeymoon 😉 but I understand what you’re saying. I absolutely HATE (a strong word, yes but it’s true) being the center of attention. I have a difficult time not feeling awkward when complimented. I didn’t like “all eyes on the bride!” I couldn’t wait to marry my husband and begin our new life together as one flesh in the Sacrament of Matrimony and would have preferred a small simple ceremony but at the request of my husband and our parents, a large wedding was planned. 🤷🏼‍♀️ So many women lavish in the “princess for a day” thing. It’s just not me. Sounds like the bride’s outfit should have been reserved for the privacy of the honeymoon suite!

      I invited my husband to my home for dinner early when we began courting and definitely won him over with my cooking skills! And if you’re uneasy or unsure around the kitchen as I once was, pick up a healthy cookbook. You’ll learn tasty recipes, how to present meals beautifully, how to plan a full 4 course meal with dessert, beverage pairing if you drink wine, that’ll all impress him! It takes a bit of practice if you’re new to making homemade meals but it’s worth it!

    2. Blair, I agree with you about weddings and honeymoons. My husband and I had only our parents present at the ceremony and then the six of us went out to dinner. It was perfect and exactly what we wanted. My eldest daughter just did the exact same thing this past summer. People need to understand it is not about the WEDDING, it is about the MARRIAGE.

      1. What a wonderful way to begin your marriage! My husband and I had a very low-key wedding as well. People “felt bad” for us because we didn’t have a big reception, photographer, flowers, limo, etc. but I became overwhelmed trying to plan all that. We just wanted to get married, so we bypassed everything & that’s what we did. Then people said we “rushed” it (after 2 years dating) and as a result, our marriage would not work out long term. Ha! That was 24 years ago. I wonder how many more young couples would go ahead and marry if weddings were not such a complicated, expensive extravaganza?!

      2. Quote – “People need to understand it is not about the WEDDING, it is about the MARRIAGE.”

        So very well said Michaela.
        A wedding is for 1 hour on 1 day.
        A marriage is supposed to be for a lifetime.

        1. And no, I’m not advocating couples living together before marriage. It is sin, and we were wrong to do so. But I lived in Auckland and he lived 3 hours drive away, so he moved in with me. BUT – and this is important – we had separate rooms (big house, multiple flatmates) and we were chaste. We would not have lived together as a couple, and if we had our time over again, we would do things differently.
          Just wanted to clarify that.

    3. I’m not sure that it’s true about the wedding day being all we look forward to.
      Personally, all I ever wanted to do was get married, have kids and raise a family. That was literally my dream. I didn’t go to university because I knew that my education would be wasted, because I would be at home with my babies (turns out that didn’t quite go to plan).
      The actual wedding day wasn’t really anything I gave a lot of thought to, it was just something I knew would happen. And as it turned out, my husband wanted to be very involved in planning our wedding, so if I’d had big dreams from a child, those would have been shattered, because our wedding was unlike anything I would have planned. It was beautiful and perfect, but it was something we created together – it wasn’t my dream.

      I met my husband through church. The day I met him, I knew I was going to marry him. I didn’t see him again for an entire year, but I thought of him often. The second time I met him, I asked him out. This was in December 2001. On Christmas day he moved into the flat I was sharing with a couple of friends. In February 2002 he asked me to marry him. I had just turned 20. In April of that same year, we were married. One year later (one year and 12 days, to be exact) we welcomed our first baby.

      I’m not going to pretend it’s been easy, because it hasn’t. But it has been mostly good.

      Young women, don’t be afraid to make the first move! It worked for me 😊

  4. All good advice. I would just add let trusted older church mentors and family know it is on your heart to marry. I married later and I dearly love my husband, but my wish was to marry and have children younger and this added step would have helped me I think. My same age group friends knew this about me, but my parents didn’t attend church, and my main mentors left our church to plant a new one and our relationship waned. I didn’t see our new relationships with older generations in my church and I think that would have helped.

  5. Wonderful advice Lori. If you want to find a husband and a good man, this is the advice you want to follow. The world will tell you that the opposite is true, but the men who don’t care if you are depressed, tatted up, saddled with debt, dress like a boy, don’t know feminine skills and/or have slept around are not husband material. They often weed themselves out in the form of broken relationships. They’ll use you too and not want to get married. Or they are Beta males who expect you to work just as much outside the home as them (maybe more) despite your obligations of raising children.

    So when the hysterics are turned on and in response women write in furiously rebutting this article defending unprofitable methods of gaining a good husband, don’t listen to them. They do not care about your future, they only want to defend their past. Maybe one or two of them ended up marrying a wonderful man despite not doing the things listed in the article, but they are an extreme rarity.

    If you want the best results, do whatever you can from wherever you are on your journey to follow Lori’s advice to a T. If you’ve passed the point of no return with things that cannot be undone, don’t continue down that path. Stop where you are and put even more effort into the things from the article that you can change. So if you are tatted up, don’t add more tattoos, but instead look to dress femininely and keep in shape, have a happy, positive disposition and invest in learning homemaking skills. And of course above all else, look to God.

    1. Amen! M, you stated it so gracefully! Some women feel as though they can’t get back on the righteous course. I have stumbled before but with the Grace of Jesus Christ, the God of Second Chances, I was able to see my way clearly. Repentance has to happen, much prayer and dwelling on the Word of God and not my past sin has seen me thru!

    2. Quote – “If you’ve passed the point of no return with things that cannot be undone, don’t continue down that path. Stop where you are and put even more effort into the things from the article that you can change.”

      There’s an old saying that if you are digging yourself into a deep hole – STOP! Don’t continue digging.
      Climb out of that hole and do what is right in God’s eyes.
      As I have said before, I would rather be in championship with a harlot that is repentant then with a “christian” woman who is still bragging about her past exploits with many men.
      The repentant harlot is starting to glow from following God’s way, while the bragging christian woman is still lost in sin and wallowing in the pig pen.

  6. Women,
    1) all of what Lori said.
    2) learn to live on a budget and be content with whatever your husband brings home. Stay away from magazines and advertising that causes you to want for more or not be happy with what you DO have. A workaholic husband is not home much.
    3) do not let motherhood get in the way of taking care of your husband’s needs. Do nice things for him each day. Try not to ever turn him down.
    4) encourage your boyfriend / husband, also tell him regularly how much you respect him; not empty words, but but heartfelt. Today’s society really tears men down; especially a Godly, traditional and strong “man’s man”.

  7. All of these are great!

    I would also add:
    *Has wholesome friends of good influence.
    *Has good relationships with her family, especially the father. How she treats her male family members would reflect on how she would treat men in general.
    *See if she treats people of all walks of life with kindness, particularly the ones whom are homeless, are servers, are non-managerial retail workers, etc. if they mess up or made an error. See how she reacts. It shows a deeper and more honest character. If she is a bad/angry/irrational/difficult/entitled/selfish/snobbish/conceited customer, she is more likely have a negative personality and is not really a kind person.
    *If she likes kids. If she sees them as burden, brats, parasites, nuisances, or the like—that’s a red flag and wouldn’t be a surprise if she also supports abortion.
    *If she is humble or doesn’t think she is special/all that/queen/diva/goddess. It shows she is not arrogant, haughty, or has too high of self-esteem. She is more realistic in her place in the world and is more likely to be selfless by pleasing her (potential) husband and making others happy by kind actions.
    *Walks the walk, rather than talks the talk. She lives as honestly and best as she can, despite of her flaws. She tries not to be a hypocrite. She is self-accountable and corrects her mistakes and owns her transgressions (wrongdoings). She doesn’t say, “I’m not like that, ” or “I’m a good person/woman/girl,” when someone says some general flaw about women–She doesn’t let those words affect or offend her. She lets her actions do the work and even admits that she has flaws (that she is like that).
    *She is able to ride through strife/hard times. Would she stick and help/compromise, or would she leave for “greener pastures”?Would she live the frugal life?
    *She is able to spot misandry (male hatred). Her views of men should be positive.
    *She is grateful for the little things as well as the big things.
    * If she can go outside without makeup and/or very big/loud jewelry with confidence or without concern what the world thinks of her bare face. Or, is her beauty natural or is she trying to look “hot” (artificial) by putting on a “mask”? A growing number of guys are calling makeup “fakeup” these days.
    *Has a good relations with other women. It makes her more trustworthy to men if she prefers to befriend women.
    *Does she look at you for reaffirmation/validation? Does she wait for you to speak first or to give her your permission?
    *Has a few good friends than a lot of fake ones. She also should have as few male friends as possible (none is ideal, but this is not always possible).
    *She likes quiet, wholesome places. Would she rather be in the library or museum than a nightclub?
    *Should stay away from today’s pop music and entertainment if she can. More wholesome outlets are better.
    *Does she give you random acts of kindness just because? Gifts (homemade ones are even better)? It shows consideration and her ability to be romantic to him (rather than her being demanding on Valentine’s Day, her birthday, and their anniversary and forcing the man to do all the work). She should be able to add effort into the relationship too. This is one reason why much of the manosphere says that modern woman has “nothing to offer.”
    *Has hobbies and interests that would bring benefit to the relationship (gardening, farming, knitting, sewing, arts and crafts, culinary, cleaning/maid jobs, volunteering for wholesome causes, creating homemade goods/medicines/items, homesteading, etc.).
    *See how she reacts when you say “no” or if she didn’t get what she wanted. Does she throw a tantrum/complaint, or does she let it roll off her back?
    *Has very few or no social media accounts if possible, and she uses them for useful things like information or inspiration.

    Those are what I have right off the top of my head. I can explain more if you want.

  8. There is also non-christian mens who promote on their youtube channel to marry debt-free virgin without tattoos. Which is a wonderful thing but i’m wondering how do they know that virgins are the ideal. This guy made a great video about it,where he exposed the modern women and advocate to marry virgins. He probably get his inspiration from your article. https://youtu.be/qjowM0n5pmM

    1. The reasons why virgins are ideal (in a secular sense) mostly because of experience and education. They want the kindest decent-looking girl who gives them the least amount of pain and suffering– whether it’s heartache or headache–and maximizes their peace and happiness.

      1. They are the most enthusiastic about being with one person. They like you the most. They are also most likely to be in their fecundity years, which is said to be ‘in their prime’ and peak desireability in the dating/courtship pool.

      2. They are also most likely to stay married. In one of Stephan Molyneaux’s videos about sexual partner numbers, one has an eight percent chance of getting divorced if virginal until wedding night. The number doubles (17%) just for having only one lifetime relationship but had premarital intimacy with that same partner who devirginized her. The percentage numbers keep increasing as partner counts increase. The more partners, the less likeliness to ‘pair bond’ and increased excess baggage the person carries onto the next relationship. Virgins carry no regrets, accidents, or mistakes that could affect them physically or mentally (and by extent their relationships).

      3. There is a more sure way of paternal legitimacy. He knows that his genes are in his children, and has no doubts or questions about it. He has no worries of disease as well.

      4. She is all his and his alone, and she is most devoted and committed to him. She is safe with him; he is safe with her. They have the highest trust between each other.

      5. There is also a biological instinct to not trust promiscuous people, man or woman alike. They don’t make ideal parents, let alone stable partners, and passing one’s genetics for future survival is at stake (not being at risk of being a genetic dead-end), one must be choosy for assurance and stability.

      I hope these help answer your question.

    2. All men want virgins. That’s nothing to do with being Christian and everything to do with being a man. It’s human nature. I was 16 when a guy told me this.

      Don’t those Muslim terrorists believe that a multitude of virgins await them in heaven when they blow themselves up killing “infidels”?

      You don’t have to be Christian to know that virgins are ideal. It’s instinct. A woman is nearly always going to have a special place in her heart for the man she gave her virginity to. Of course it’s best if that man is her husband.

    3. “I’m wondering how do they know that virgins are the ideal.”

      It’s quite simple.

      She wants to be his last romance.
      He wants to be her first choice.

  9. Hi Lori,
    I think a women or man singleness is so much more that finding a spouse. The reason for this is because I think the season of singleness is a lie that the church has been teaching people. We are promised marriage because our sole focus should be on what God says to us when we die it doesn’t matter at what age you are married. My grandma was not able to have kids for 14 years. During those 14 years she work to help provide because my mom grew up in a poor home, so both my grandpa and my grandma had to work to provide. My Father grew up in a poor household as well. I talk to my father if he learn more from his dad or his mom about the Bible and his mom was harder on him than his father was. My aunts and uncles found it easier to go to my grandpa then my grandpa. My grandpa went to bible college along with my grandpa. She spoke in church and it has helped a lot of people. I think telling a women that she can share a verse on a Sunday morning or women teaching women in a conference is like tell them that they can share what God has place on their heart. I think that marriage and having kids is wonderful but you can’t earn marriage. If young people were to think that they have to earn marriage, it can cause anxiety. marriage is all in God’s timing. We can’t do things differently for a while and get God to think you earn the reward for marriage. If we think like this then it will cause us to compare our live to another woman.
    I feel the same goes for men. I think that the we put a lot of pressure on men to be this perfect man that doesn’t cry. So many men have committed suicide. Men are more likely to commit suicide. My brother for example almost ended this with his now wife. They broke up for a bit because he had to grow in his spiritual life as well. There were part of him that the Lord needed to fix on as well as my sister in law. I have never been in a relationship and I am 24. I find this to be a blessing because God has protect my heart to focus on him. I was not ready to get married at 20 or 21 because there was no good men where I was living. I am going to college because it something that my parents always said I had to do. I did talk to my father about what he think about women going to college and he think that will a woman really just wait around her house looking for a husband. It not a woman job to look for her husband it the man. Women have to live there lives and enjoy. I have a aunt that wasn’t able to have kids because it was not the Lord’s will for her to have kids. She understand that so what she did was take care of other people. She did not have all the money for Ivf treatment. When I was growning up my parents really did not talk about being a wife. What my mom did say that no matter if your a business partner a wife, mother or whoever, you need to stay you. I do desire to get married but follow God call on my life to start a ministry is more important to me. I did ask it something that he want me to do and he confirmed. several time by people in my life. If I were to just sit by and wait for a guy to show up in my life then I would have miss out on what God wanted to do while I was single. If I don’t get married then it fine. I look at Lisa Harper who did get married and she is living a great life. I found a woman named Allyson online who was called to singleness for five years. She spoke on singleness. I see all over instagram and Tiktok girls saying that men are the one that are not treating them right even though that they are be themselves. I was rejected by a couple of guys but it going to make me think that I am not wife material no. I don’t like the word wife material because it put a lot of pressure on young girls. We are God’s material. Our world is so lost right now and I think as Christians we need to focus our attention on the lost souls. I don’t want to come across hateful or anything because that is not who I am.
    So many women deal with this pressure to be perfect for husband and to have all of these features for him. Someone said that we need to be in shape to find a husband and I think that is focusing on the wrong thing. We should get healthy for ourselves not for a man. There is nothing wrong with being independent , it depends on your attitude. If you think you need to push people away and you say you don’t need anyone then that means the person think they have to do things by themselves. My mom and dad always have encourage me to go to college. The reason for this is because they always known that I can be a blessing to people in the career that I want to achieve . I don’t think a career is better than a baby, but right now I am far from being ready to be a mom. I need to establish what God has for me before a man enters my life or if he doesn’t then that okay.

    1. Excellent comment!

      ‘God Material’ over ‘Wife Material’ any day.

      I wish you all the very best in God’s plan for you!

  10. Focus more on being the right person and less on finding the right person.
    A wise young lady will look around her and serve where she sees a need. She will assist an elderly couple at a church fellowship dinner with filling their plates and getting them comfortable instead of giggling and flirting with her girlfriends. She will spend her day off from her job helping a busy weary mother instead of shopping and spending unnecessary money. She will regularly volunteer to care for the neighbour child who has special needs so the child’s parents can have a break in the evening instead of doing her own thing. She will prepare and serve refreshments at youth activities instead of just going for the fun.
    She is not doing this to attract a husband but for the joy of serving and the valuable experience. But the men may notice or be made aware of what a blessing this young lady is!
    She knows that for her to consider a future husband traits must include honesty, hardworking, careful with money, submissive to authority, and she will be glad when he offers to set up the tables for her to put her refreshments onto. She will pray for the young man whom she sees as needing to mature and grow spiritually.

    1. Teann, Thank you so much for this–“focus on being the right person and less on finding the right person.” I will remember these wise words.

      1. You’re welcome.
        Never compromise high moral standards or even your salvation “just” to have a husband.
        “Thy Maker is thy husband.”😁

  11. I love Teann’s and Priscilla’s comments! Ultimately, to quote the Shorter Catechism, “the chief end of man [and woman] is to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever.” I value marriage because God values marriage. I want His will more than my own, whether that is in marriage or singleness. Either way, I want to live in those seasons according to God’s Word and ways, not my own. And His Word says how to live as a single or married woman.

  12. Imagine an isolated island with a population of 2000 people. There are only about 150 singles there between the ages of 18 and 25. The single women are basically fit, healthy and chaste. The reputation of these women is that they don’t compromise sexually but are sexually available to husbands who treat them reasonably well and are not overly unpleasant as wives.

    How motivated would single men be to count as worthy of marriage? Throw a few tattoos and a little debt on a pretty girl, it’s not going to make much difference there. A snotty brat but she’s beautiful? A line of suitors forms, even if they’re not so smart.

    God gave women all the power they needed, then they were tricked into throwing it all away under the guise of “empowerment”.

    Now alpha struts around all day long with an arrogant sly smile on his face. Who gave him that? Sly smile…

  13. Many women complain about cooking like they dont eat food? Its exhausting to listen to them lament about it. Maybe pouring a glass of water will b the next oppression? Then i was raised on the far opposite end where my mom grandma aunt uncles grandpa are all excellent cooks.

    Then when they do cook they make the laziest worst tasting food on purpose so you then dont ask them and take them out to eat more. I once saw a feminist on food network complain about the lack of women in professional cooking. Completely obvlious to the fact that most women make it their goals to never cook. And it was of course men who want to cook to blame for women not cooking.

  14. “Men are attracted to debt-free virgins without tattoos!”

    Men are attracted to debt free virgins without tattoos for permanent relationships (marriage). They are attracted to the opposite (not the debt part) for one-night fun/fornication.

    Telegony, despite what you’ll read, was a widely held theory (not a “superstition”) among the top 19th century biologists. It is neither disproven/discredited nor proven, but there are many well-documented anecdotal examples and speculative (not proven) biochemical mechanisms described by geneticists and biochemists in peer reviewed papers published in a variety of countries. There’s potential epigenetic and genetic information transfer, i.e. non-Mendelian inheritance.

    http://phys-yobiko2.com/paper/Inheritance%20of%20acquired%20characters%20in%20animals/Telegony,%20the%20Sire%20Efect%20and%20non-Mendelian%20Inheritance%20Mediated%20by%20Spermatozoa.pdf

    https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fgene.2017.00154/full

    Telegony (if real) means you as a man (potentially) share paternity with men your wife previously had intercourse with. This in addition to the increased risk of actual infidelity when you marry an (ex) fornicator – this risk comes with men too which is why women should prefer virgin men (even though most don’t).

    Men have an interest in raising their own offspring (yes adoption is meant for some) just as women do. There’s no direct analogy (no such thing as shared maternity) but women wouldn’t be real happy if they had their babies switched in hospitals. Don’t cuckold men even if it’s partial/micro cuckoldry.

  15. @ A Sumner It would be a lie to claim that men don’t care about a woman’s looks. But, as a man, a woman’s looks matter mainly in the sense that she’s either attractive or not to you. If a girl meets that attraction threshold (and I think many men’s standards are quite reasonable and keep in mind that men’s tastes vary) then the woman’s personality matters much more than whether or not she looks like a model. I personally don’t think there’s “bonus points” for a woman being “extra pretty” in terms of how a man’s love works. If she is attractive to you then the type of heart she has is what’s most important- a kind hearted woman is easy to love. A kind heart and feminine, soft disposition is very attractive. If a man doesn’t appreciate that in a woman then he isn’t good husband material anyway.

    Just my opinion

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