Keepers at Home Means to Abide in the Home
Written By Scott Coltrain “Working Women and Titus 2:5”
For over a half-century, we have witnessed our society depart from God’s will in regard to the differing roles and responsibilities that individuals are to play based upon their gender. Feminism, more than any other ungodly philosophy, has motivated American and European societies to reject the fundamental Biblical teaching on gender roles. To even suggest, in this 21st Century, that there are different roles and responsibilities assigned by the Lord for each gender is blasphemous to our secular culture.
Tragically, most churches and their leaders have felt a need to downplay or even reject much of the Scriptural instruction on gender roles for fear of being labeled sexist and promoters of gender prejudice and ‘oppression’. For example, decades ago, most Christian pastors, teachers, and counselors in effect tore-out of their Bibles the portion of Titus 2:5 which enjoins that women (especially younger women) are to be “keepers at home.” Even those pastor/teachers who have claimed to be ‘conservative’ or ‘fundamentalist’ in their approach to the Scriptures have so distorted the meaning of the text so as to render its application void.
One must adhere to what the term meant when it was originally chosen. The fact is, “oikouros” (keepers at home) does carry the idea that the woman is to abide in the home…Does this mean that the woman is completely prohibited from leaving the home? Does this mean that the woman cannot engage in any activities outside the home? No, the term does not support that extreme position. It means that the home is the focal point of the woman’s life and career. It means that the home is where the woman employs her time, energy and abilities. In his Biblical Greek Primer, William Mounce says that the woman is to be a “domestic.”
Dangers of women working outside of the home:
First, married women who are in the workforce have higher rates of divorce as opposed to married women who are ‘keepers and workers at home’. There are a few reasons for this. First, women who work outside the home feel that they should have greater say on how ‘their’ earnings are spent. This often leads to financial conflicts. Financial conflict is the second most common reason for divorces. Secondly, a married woman who enters the workforce feels less dependent upon her husband for financial/legal security and high self-esteem. Such women are far more likely to divorce their husbands. Thirdly, women who spend a great deal of time with other men in the workplace are far more likely to develop intimate relationships with them which leads to affairs and divorces. Likewise, the women at the workplace are a temptation for the men to pursue.
Secondly, mothers who choose to work outside the home harm the emotional, mental and social development of their children. A secure mother–child attachment is associated with positive peer interactions, social behaviors, emotions, and healthy exploratory behaviors. Children are most likely to experience healthy social–emotional development when they are secure in their attachment to their mothers and when their mothers exhibit attentive sensitivity throughout their childhood. When children spend more time in the care of someone other than their mothers, those mothers tend to show lower levels of sensitivity and there are fewer positive interactions between mother and child (Among those with children under age 18, 40% of working mothers say they always feel rushed). As a result, these children are more likely to experience attachment insecurity, which can lead to negative moods (depression and anxiety) and behaviors.
The top reason I hear by men and women alike to justify women working outside the home is that in our present economy it is impossible for a family to survive on a single paycheck. However, this is a very weak excuse if one is serious about living according to godly standards and values rather than worldly standards and values. A considerable number of Christian men and women have fallen prey to worldly materialism. They yearn for and seek fancy homes, plush furniture and fine home furnishings, the latest entertainment systems and programming, the most up-to-date technological gadgets, the current most popular fashions, the latest vehicle models with all of the available bells and whistles, etc. Such is a far cry from one of the most basic tenets of Christianity – live simply and invest your resources in things that will pay eternal dividends
In summation, Titus 2:5 does command that Christian wives/mothers are not to seek employment outside of the home. They are to be “workers at home.” Modern research has ‘discovered’ the wisdom behind the Lord’s injunction of women entering the labor-force. When women work outside the home it weakens marriages and harms the normal inner-development of children. It is time for pastors/preachers/counselors to stand with the Word of God rather than go along with the trends and values of our worldly culture.
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.
***For those of you who don’t think you can be home full time, please answer these questions: Do you want to be home full time and raise your own children? Have you sought the Lord in wisdom and asked Him to make a way for you to go home? Have you stepped out in faith and researched ways to make money from home? Do you trust the Lord as your provider and that what He commands He provides? Do you live simply and frugally so you can go home? Do you believe that with God ALL things are possible?
14 thoughts on “Keepers at Home Means to Abide in the Home”
Very encouraging. I love being a stay at home mom. Each day I learn more about this calling the Lord has appointed to me.
God began to convict my heart 9 years ago about letting someone else raise my kids. I have stayed home with them since! God has recently provided a work from home job so that I can help out with the bills (teaching ESL classes online). I am finished with my job before my kids even get out of bed! God will provide!
Wonderful post. I want more women to feel pride in our domestic calling. Our children and homes need us more than ever.
Thank you Lori for sharing this writing by Mr Coltraine. It’s encouraging to know others still believe and teach the importance of women in the home. It’s so uncommon to hear these words.
Good Morning Lori:
I am writing you through your blog instead of posting on your facebook site because I do not want to be targeted with hateful posts on my facebook site from all those naysayers who are so rudely attacking you and any other Christian who stands strong on God’s Word. I haven’t had time to sit down and figure out how to work all of facebook’s privacy options yet, so …. Until I can, I am taking the chicken way out and writing you in private.
A couple of months ago I had typed into Google “Titus 2 Woman”, and your blog site came up. I bookmarked both your old blog and this one to my phone with the goal of reading from your very first post on your first blog to today’s. Whenever I sit down for a mini break throughout my day I catch up on your blogs, reading one at a time, filling my heart and mind with inspiration, truth and motivation. We are kindred spirits in our opinions of how women are to be.
I am writing you this morning just to give you encouragement to continue your posts stating the truth the Holy Spirit is leading you to write.
We are definitely in the last days. The hate and anger I see through facebook is downright sad and alarming. Maybe it is because I am new to facebook. I have had an account for several years, but only opened one so I could see the pictures my grown children posted of their families on theirs. I would look at them from my desktop computer.
In March of this year, I finally upgraded from an iphone 4 dinosaur to an android latest model (I am so technically illiterate I can’t remember what number this phone is!). Anyways, in March of this year I finally joined the world of facebooking through my phone. If all the hate and such was on there years prior, I honestly never knew.
I love what you post. The Lord uses your words to correct me, teach me and guide me in the direction I need to be going to serve Him, by serving my husband to glorify God.
A little bit about myself – I am 58 years old as of July 5th. I grew up in El Cajon (East County in San Diego!). My parents had 6 children (one in Heaven since he was 6 hours old), and we were active in our church. I accepted Christ at 5 years of age, but have not always walked with God the way I should have. Hence, I am in my 4th marriage. I was not “bad” compared to the world’s standards – drugs, alcohol, etc. I simply accepted the world’s view on being a female – not being submissive to your husband, divorcing instead of working on a bad marriage, not being modest in my appearance (although you would never see me in even a one piece bathing suit – I had some modesty, just not as much as I should).
I have always been “old fashioned” in my thinking, my homemaking, etc. I just didn’t apply God’s word to my marriage(s).
I didn’t pray before I married any of my husbands either, seeking God’s choice. My first husband was an alcoholic and ran around on me. My second husband was verbally abusive, and physically threatening. My third husband ended up being a drug dealer and was abusive physically and mentally. I was a single mom for 11 years between husbands 2 and 3.
Husband #4 – we grew up in the same church. He has known me all of my life, literally. He is 11 years older than I. His parents were like my second parents. His mother was the kind of woman I wanted to grow up to be like (very much a Titus 2 woman!).
My husband has also not walked through his life as he should have. I am his third wife. Both of us have recommitted our lives to God, and it is our one desire to serve God wholly now.
My husband weighs over 500 pounds, and lives his life as an invalid. He has been in this condition our 10 years of marriage. I, too, am obese.
At one time I needed to lose 160 pounds. Two years ago I lost 65 pounds through eating “clean” and walking. I had so much energy, and felt so alive. We found Weston A Price online and loosely followed what we learned.
We then moved from El Cajon to North Carolina mid 2016. My youngest son and his family followed us out, and have been living with us these two years. They recently bought a house and are getting ready to move into it soon. But … In these past two years I let all my good habits go, and have put 30 pounds back on.
I know God moved us here to serve Him. We began praying when we first felt led to move. God closed so many doors in San Diego, and opened just as many for us to move here. So we know beyond a doubt we are where He wants us at this time in our lives.
Now that the kids are ready to settle into their own place, I began earnestly praying about what God wants me to do to serve Him. In my selfishness, I prayed only about what “I” was supposed to do. One day while reading my devotions, the Holy Spirit very clearly informed me that “I” was supposed to very seriously help my husband to lose weight and get up from his invalid state (self-imposed, by the way, because of his weight). God wants me to serve Him by submitting to my husband, helping him to get healthy and physically active again so that my husband can serve God. I am to be his help meet.
It’s not about “me”.
That is when I found your website. Funny/amazing, because it was immediately after I felt the Holy Spirit convict me to take my eyes off “me” only in what God’s plan was for “me”, and to put my focus on my husband’s needs so he can serve God, that your blog was placed right in front of me. I honestly mean literally, immediately that moment, right after I finished praying!
God is so awesome!
I am sorry this comment has turned out to be a mini-novel in length. I have been wanting to write you for awhile now, to thank you for obeying God in writing His truths on your blog and facebook pages. You are serving Him mightily.
The enemy is throwing every dart he can muster at you by using the blind to attack you. It is so sad that even some of those darts are being flung by those professing to be Christians.
I am praying for mental and emotional strength for you.
Always in His love:
Lori, thank you for this blessed post, I only wish I had learned this lesson much earlier. Unfortunately, I was led astray to make each and every mistake that you identified above. My first husband was not a Godly man and he thought we needed to make as much money as possible, so he insisted that, despite the fact that we had gotten married, I continue working (office job). I figured I would maintain this job until we had kids, but he insisted that I continue the job both during my pregnancy and after child birth in order to “support the even larger financial demands that accompany raising a child.”
Over the course of a decade several terrible things occurred.
First, I was unable to develop meaningful ties with my first-born daughter and she began to associate with dangerous people. This culminated in her no longer living in my home and I have lost contact with her since she turned 12.
Second, temptation was everywhere in the office. My closest colleague and mentor was a middle-aged woman (in a childless marriage) who frequently had sex with male co-workers and business associates. She frequently told me that the only way for a woman to “advance in the workplace” was to, among other things, “use her feminine wiles” and “sex appeal.” When I told my first husband about what she had told me, my first husband told me that she was right and if I did not have sex with other men, it meant I did not care about our family/marriage. As with so many people, this led to a path where I frequently engaged in anonymous intercourse with strange men, my boss, and other coworkers which I photographed and provided to my first-husband to prove I was doing a good job at work.
Long story short, it was during this difficult period of my life that I found Jesus. Not long there afterwards, I also found my second husband. Now I have a new family in Christ, the Church, and my children by my new man. I no longer work and have remained loyal to him and have raised functional and socially engaged children.
Ladies, please listen to Lori, it is never too late to learn her lessons.
As a pastor, I appreciate your style of writing.
You have a soft touch, but make a hard point! 🙂
I’m really feeling the pull to be a stay at home wife. Thanks for the encouragement and speaking Gods word
Deana, I would like to encourage you as well. I don’t know what your situation is but when my children were little, I asked God to let me stay home with them if possible. I was a new Christian and thought I was being very greedy by asking this; had no idea it was His will. My husband was about to be laid off and we decided that I would quit my full-time job. We had no idea how we would make it but it just seemed like the right thing to do. Miracles happened and I have been able to be at home for the last 23 years and have never regretted it.
Speaking from personal experience as a working outside the home mother. I regret it to my very core. My kids aren’t being raised by day care or anyone else, just their father. But it’s different. He’s tired from his day at work and doesn’t help them with homework or teaching them how to cook or clean. Financially we have felt the need for me to hold down a job. I hate just about every minute of it.
Since getting married and having my first child, I know my place is at home. I am convinced that Gods word does not change and the work that is needed at home is the most valuable of all the jobs I could ever do. However, I will say it’s hard and lonely when most people keep pushing this worldly view of the oppression of being a house wife. It causes me to keep having to tell myself that I am doing the right thing in the sight of God and that’s all that matters.
I appreciate your great blog on these Bible topics. Thank you.
Thank you Ranch Wife for the encouragement!!! I need my husband to be on board with this 100% he’s about 50% there. All of our kids are grown and most people think I should be working to help, but I would like to be home and a full time homemaker.
Thanks for posting! Great work pointing out God’s Word concerning the role of women as keeper of the home.