Godly Men Prefer Debt-Free Virgins Without Tattoos
As many of you know, my post Men Prefer Debt-Free Virgins Without Tattoos went viral and is causing quite a stir. I should have definitely titled it “Godly Men Prefer Debt-Free Virgins Without Tattoos.” I want to make clear that the audience I teach are those young women who want to learn biblical womanhood as according to God’s instructions in Titus 2:3-5. They love the Lord and His beautiful ways.
I have received almost 90,000 comments on this post on Facebook so far and most of them hate it. (I have thousands of comments on my blog awaiting moderation for this post, so I won’t be publishing any comments on my blog for a while.) To all of you who are believers in Jesus Christ who have debt and have not kept yourself pure, remember that God has made you a new creation in Christ, washed away all of your sin, and now you walk in newness of life!
One godly, wise woman, Jackie Hernandez, shared my post on her Facebook page with this introduction:
“So many women (and some men) are misunderstanding this article. I agree with it 100 per cent. I wish I had received this counsel when I was younger. So, young women, take heed. I would just add that I believe it is GODLY young men who prefer such a woman. This article will not make any sense to a worldly/carnal man, and plus, their desires are much different than that of a Godly man. So that being said, all praise, honor and glory be to God; I have learned from my mistakes (being in debt, being sexually immoral, and I used to have a desire to get a tattoo but never did). I have been delivered from my ungodly sinful past and am now striving to please Him in all things.”
There were a lot of other great comments on Jackie’s thread, too, that I want to share with you:
Stephanie: “I agree. Unfortunately, too many women are taught that they don’t amount to much outside of a career, yes, even in the church. We need to teach our daughters the importance of being a wife and mother, not shipping them off to college because it’s the thing to do. Its very hard to give up a career that you’ve spent so much money and time on for your family. But as a stay at home mom, who homeschools her kids, I know what even an at home job can do to the family.
“Our kids need someone there for them to help them through the stages as they get older. My quite successful at home business is the one decision I regret, even though we needed it at the time. I would rather live in a trailer and have the time to teach my kids to follow Jesus than have the American dream. I urge every Christian mom out there to not give into the temptation to work while raising your kids. If you can do it, do it. Even if it means sacrifice. You will never regret it; we must train up our children in the way that they should go.
“The world will teach them to think differently, this is a battle we must fight for. The influences are very strong, even for those who are homeschooled and active in church. The worldly influences are there, too: they’re on social media, they’re in worldly music, and they’re in movies and TV. We are living in the days of Noah, and we need to protect our children from the evil in the world, and this is not an easy task, but I can say, that when you have done this, you will know that your children are ready to face the world with Jesus, and you will have no fear, because they are grounded in the truth. That is the best feeling ever.”
Aaron: “Great post! Sure to stir up the Facebook friends.
“Tattoos are sin:
Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print ANY marks upon you: I am the Lord.
“Fornication is Sin:
1 Corinthians 7:2
Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
“Debt is slavery:
The rich ruleth over the poor,
and the borrower is servant to the lender.
“This article is speaking to young ladies who might consider getting a tattoo. We know that it is better for a girl not to get a tattoo. If she has a tattoo, it is not something she should be proud of, but it should be a tool that she uses to teach other young ladies not to get tattoos. She should do her best in public to cover her tattoos up. People with tattoos go to heaven, as long as they are repentant of all their past ones, and do not glorify them in the future. Having tattoos, having drank, having smoked, having strange piercings – do any of these things discredit a repentant Christian from being all that they can be for God? No. But I am not proud of anything that I have done, or the scars that I bear for my sins. Lori Alexander spoke 100% what I would say to my future daughters as they grow up.”
Jackie Hernandez to Laura who was offended by my post: “You’re misunderstanding her. She is speaking to young ladies – to women who are not in debt and planning to get loans for college, etc. Those who currently do not have any tattoos and are still virgins. She is warning them and giving them counsel: encouraging them to not ruin their feminine, soft, and delicate skin, to not go into debt because bringing that in a marriage is a burden and can get in the way of raising Godly children and from having any time to please their husband and being a keeper at home, because they’ll be working trying to pay off their debt and to remain pure before marriage – to be the women God created us to be for our future husbands. The way it should be. God’s way.
“Sister, if we read the article in the flesh, then it will surely offend us. But if we read it in the spirit, it should not cause us any offense. I am not a virgin (I was a very sexually immoral woman), and I currently owe some debt which I hope and pray I am able to pay off before marriage because it would be a burden for not only me, but my husband and future children as well. This article did not offend me whatsoever. Pure women, debt-free, and tattoo-free are definitely more attractive and more desirable to a Godly man. The reason that is, is because it’s the way God created us. It’s the way God wants us to be but sadly, many of us have sinned in those areas. However, that does not change the fact that following God’s ways is more attractive.
“Tattoos ruin the beautiful skin of a woman. God created us as feminine creatures with soft and delicate skin. Tattoos take that away but that is not to say we have not been forgiven. We are forgiven if we repent and no longer defile our bodies. But this is simply the truth. Also, that does not mean a Godly man will not desire you. It just means that having tattoos is less attractive because that is not the way God made us – with tattoos. The way God made us IS attractive; there is no denying that fact if we believe that everything He has created is GOOD.
“Entering into a marriage covenant in purity and becoming one flesh with only the man God gave us. It’s a beautiful thing – having no other soul ties. This article actually encouraged me to teach my future daughters that God’s ways are best and truly beautiful (which I wish I was taught when I was younger) and tell them about the consequences of following after the ways of the world.”
Stephanie to Laura: “No one is condemning you. I don’t know why you take offense to the article. A godly man may desire a woman because of her faith, despite her tattoos, debt, and lack of virginity, but he will never be attracted to her because of those things. Yet, a godly man may find a woman who has kept herself pure, her body free from worldly corruption, and free from debt attractive because it is evidence of her true faith.
“I plan to teach my daughters to think about how their actions will affect their future husbands. They are preparing to be wives and mothers. Fornicating, marking our bodies, and becoming burdened with debt (all unbiblical things) are not things that would have our future husbands in mind. You said that you teach young women, but aren’t you concerned that one of these young women might be emboldened to get a tattoo because you have one?
“I hope that you are careful to cover them so that you do not cause a sister or daughter in the faith to sin, without even knowing it. Maybe someone who sees you in this position and notices your tattoos says to themselves, ‘well Laura has one, so it’s not really so bad,’ and justifies their sin this way. Yet, if their godly mentor and teacher has kept herself pure in these things, she is a greater encouragement to the girls, because she is an example that with the Lord’s power, it can be done.
“A man who has been divorced and remarried can never be a preacher or a deacon in the church. Not because he is not washed and cleansed of his previous sins, but because he is a bad example. This is not condemnation, just the fact. Would you rather not put yourself in a position to cause others to sin? So yes, we still deal with our past in a way, but we are not to judge others according to the flesh. It would not be right to judge you by your tattoos and decide you were an ungodly woman but that doesn’t mean it’s attractive.”
Robyn: “I have a tattoo and bad pasts and I can use it all to show young ladies my regret and express to them not to make permanent decisions at a young age. And also express God’s perspective on these things. It also helps me to boast in my weaknesses. And the power of grace which dwells upon me. We can’t pretend the tattoos are invisible when they aren’t and we also must be realistic that the consequence of such sins do follow us into the future. Though they won’t go into heaven with us; we will deal with them beforehand.
“It’s like having several dads to multiple children. One can repent, but the fathers don’t go away and we must deal with what we have done. Our new spouses must also deal with this truth. I cover my tattoo and apologize when it shows. I also glorify God when the opportunity to speak the truth of God’s disapproval on tattoos and plant that seed when it happens. All things work together for the good.”
Beau: “Godly men prefer debt-free virgins without tattoos. I’m actually a godly man, and no matter how many times you tell yourself it’s not true, if you are without the humility to admit the truth to yourself, you might not be as desirable as you think.”
Chad: “I have a tattoo, was in debt when I married my wife, and was not a virgin and I 1000 per cent agree with the article. Every one of the items was my rebellion and sin against God and I just was blessed with my wife.”
In conclusion, I want all of you to not just take what I write and believe it all to be true. Search the Scriptures for yourself and find truth there. I am human and fallible. I don’t expect anyone to agree with me all of the time. I only agree with the Bible 100 percent! I try very hard to stay true and faithful to the Word of God. I have studied it for many years.
Along with teaching from the Word, I teach from my life experiences since I am 60 years old in a few weeks and have been married almost 38 years. I have raised four children to adulthood and now am enjoying being a grandmother. I am NOT the final authority on Truth. Only God’s Word is so please, be a Berean and study the Word for yourself so you can easily distinguish between truth and that which is not true. Make sure your convictions are based upon the Word of God.
These were more noble than those in Thessalonica, in that they received the word with all readiness of mind, and searched the scriptures daily, whether those things were so.
37 thoughts on “Godly Men Prefer Debt-Free Virgins Without Tattoos”
Keep doing what you’re doing, Lori! Don’t mind the trolls!! Your writing is a blessing to those willing to hear. 🙂
I just wanted to say, keep up the good work. I read your posts every day and I feel encouraged by them, never offended. I am a mother of 3 boys and baby number 4 is on its way. Whenever a day doesn’t go according to plan and I feel discouraged, I read one of your posts on biblical womanhood and motherhood and I read the Bible, on how God wants me to be. Then I feel grateful again for my role as a wife, mother and keeper at home. Thanks again Lori!
I agreed with your first post 100%, if read as a whole and from a fleshly view- it stings our sinfulness, but if read from a christian view- as a christian woman, it is a blessing to be reminded of biblical truths. Yes, the older are to teach the younger- they are more wise, as well as being written according to scripture- you can not argue with God’s word.
We are human, flawed, and imperfect, but God speaks through us to deliver his word- “For since, in the wisdom of God, the world did not know God through wisdom, it pleased God through the folly of what we preach to save those who believe.” (1 Cor. 1:21)
Sometimes, the Lord has to do a work in us to reveal the things we need to change, and it isn’t always a pretty walk but it is done for our greater good. Sin is sin- apart from Christ, we are all nothing, “All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags; we all shrivel up like a leaf, and like the wind our sins sweep us away.” (Isaiah 64:6) We will never be perfect or sinless or spotless in our flesh, “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,” (Romans 3:23) and it is only through the blood of Jesus, “Come now, let us settle the matter, says the Lord.” “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.” (Isaiah 1:18) It is only through his blood shed that God can see us as spotless.
As for those who are unsaved, they will be highly offended, “For the word of the cross is folly to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.” (1 Cor. 1:18) As it is written: “There is no one righteous, not even one, there is no one who understands; there is no one who seeks God. All have turned away, they have together become worthless; there is no one who does good, not even one. Their throats are open graves; their tongues practice deceit. The poison of vipers is on their lips.” “Their mouths are full of cursing and bitterness.” “Their feet are swift to shed blood; ruin and misery mark their ways, and the way of peace they do not know.” “Their is No fear of God before their eyes.” (Romans 3:10-18)
—-This is our life, led by sin, leading to hell, without the saving Grace of Jesus
Our hope is in Christ and Christ alone- “I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.
Your revised article explained even further, making your words more clear and there is no room for error in those who read it now except for a hardened heart, full of pride, selfishness, and hate.
Thank you for your article, I was truly blessed by it. Be encouraged- God’s word is infallible and “so shall my word be that goes our from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.” (Isaiah 55:11) Those who come across your article are there for a reason, it isn’t by accident- God’s will will be done!
Continue to stand for biblical truth!
This is an important and timely article, and you are to be commended for publishing it. Young people now receive so many conflicting messages, most of them bad advice, from people who seek to take advantage of them. Bless you for your courage. I hope you continue to speak the truth.
Keep up your Godly work! We have four boys, and that’s what we are teaching them to seek out.
Hang in there sister. God once told Moses to take heart, not to take the peoples’ rage too personally, because it was Him the people were offended by.
It’s amazing how fast people will jump on a Christian blogger for merely giving good advice.
I wonder what the reaction would have been if I posted a blog titled “women want ambitious, successful men who have their own place to live and are great with children”. No doubt it would have been thunderous applause and acclaim.
In a man and 100 percent agree. This would be the perfect world blessing for any Christian young man. Men as well need to take this and learn from it
You are absolutely right! I am a christian man and this is the kind of girl that I was looking for and am now dating and will end up marrying. Most women see that you’ve mentioned something that they have done as wrong and immediately offense sets in and they refuse to see the wisdom in what you’re saying. This articles isn’t for those ladies. This is for young girls who haven’t burdened themselves with debt, or given themselves away, or marked their bodies. You are helping young girls! Keep it up!
No one is saying a small tasteful tattoo is wrong, but in general tattoos are unhealthy for the body and often later regretted. Do you not agree that care for the body by treating it “as the temple of the Holy Spirit” and being modest and discrete wipes out most tattoos for those who desire to please God with their lives and body?
Thank you, Jake. Most younger women don’t want to learn the beautiful ways of the Lord, sadly. But, thankfully, His Word NEVER comes back void.
Thank you! He promises that His Word does not come back void and only what we do for Him will last. He is good and His ways are perfect!
Thank you, Sophie! Your family is blessed to have you as the wife and mother of their home.
No Amanda. It just gets to be tiresome dealing with similar comments that have already been answered over and over again. Either you stand with the Lordship of Christ and His ways or you do not. Most mature Christians get it that we are to be sexually pure, not be enslaved to anything, especially not debt, and that in general, tattoos are not part of having a modest, meek and quiet spirit that we as women as admonished to have. So there is nothing unBiblical about the post, but there are a lot of Christians who do not seem to know God’s Word or are offended by anything to do with the righteous living God calls us to.
Thank you, Diana!
As a Christian man who is a virgin, debt free, and no tattoos I agree with you wholeheartedly. I have kept these standards for myself and am not ashamed to say that I prefer to marry a Christian woman who has done the same. What is amazing is that all of the so-called Christians attacking you have been trying for years to force me to marry the kind of woman I have no intention of marrying. Often times I feel like they’re trying to set me up for failure. I know who I am and what I can and can’t deal with and I don’t want to deal with the drama of woman’s sexual past, having to pay off her debt, or having to see some hideous tattoo she got for whatever reason suited her fancy.
I think that if someone misunderstood your article because they thought it was about whether God forgives sins, and not wise practical advice about men and marriage, then they couldn’t have read it very closely.
I am a Christian man who has also remained a virgin prior to marriage (never married). And I think women should think that a man who is chaste, debt-free and tattoo-free would make a better husband, and a more effective, influential marriage. This is about what is wise for marriage, not forgiveness of sins.
Here’s what I said about original article in my post:
“Choosing a wife wisely doesn’t mean that Christian men treat OTHER Christian women poorly. Christian men love all the Christian women. We care for them and support them. But when a man chooses a wife, he is choosing someone who will have more influence on his ability to serve God than anyone else. In my case, the goals for my marriage involve making a difference with apologetics in the church, having many children who will receive the educations and careers they need to have an influence, influencing government to promote Christian-friendly policies, charitable giving, mentoring young Christians, modeling a good marriage to others, and having a home that can serve to host discussions about issues that matter. These things are not free – they take careful planning and execution to achieve.
Lori’s advice is intended for men who are serious about making their marriage produce a return for God.”
Lori Alexander says:
July 24, 2018 at 2:06 pm
“No one is saying a small tasteful tattoo is wrong, but in general tattoos are unhealthy for the body and often later regretted. Do you not agree that care for the body by treating it “as the temple of the Holy Spirit” and being modest and discrete wipes out most tattoos for those who desire to please God with their lives and body?”
I certainly am saying exactly that, that ANY tattooing is proscribed for Christians, and that every day any ostensible Christian bears one, that they are in a state of unrepentant sin. Leviticus does not give a maximum tattoo size, nor did it come with an expiration date. One might as well say that the Biblical prohibitions against women engaging in premarital intercourse or anyone performing homosexual activity were to “just keep it to a reasonable amount”. Uh, no. The prohibitions are absolute and unending.
There’s no such thing as a “tasteful” tattoo, either. ALL tattoos on women are indicators to me, and to many other conservative men with military backgrounds or STEM degrees and careers that a woman is both lower-class in general and unmarriageable in particular, right up there with having a history of mudsharking with drug dealers out on bail awaiting trial.
The saying is that the only subject for a tattoo that will look correct when the disfigure inevitably ages is a Char-Pei, and what normal person wants to celebrate those?
I am 24 and single Christian man and I agree with both of you!
Lori ! Superlative article…
Outside of too many boyfriends in my past i know I’ve been delivered…
As for tattoos I can never understand, it makes people look dirty !
The new title of your article seems to be accurate, once we understand that you are speaking in general terms. Anecdotes of “well I know a godly man and he kind of likes tattoos” notwithstanding, the fact probably is that most godly men “prefer” no tattoos, nor other bodily changes, like plastic surgery, breast augmentation, etc. Godly guys seem to want to marry a woman as God created her.
As to virgins, again, you said “prefer,” and it’s true, we “prefer” to marry a virgin. Still, many godly men will accept a non-virgin wife who has repented and changed. Maybe a follow up article from you titled “Godly Women Prefer _______ Husbands” would be good.
As to debt-free, there are two main reasons for a man preferring a debt-free bride. First, obviously, is that it is far better to start a new marriage with assets rather than debts. But second, and overlooked perhaps, is the fact that most often that debt would be from student loans, and because women seem to (often) gravitate to the humanities, (the so-called “social sciences”) in university, there is the probability that they have just spent four years being indoctrinated into the strong Leftist mentality which is preached by well over 90% of social science professors. So this financial debt also implies that a godly man will be starting off marriage with a liberal wife who will be disagreeable, not submissive to her husband, possibly a “social justice warrior,” and her whole mentality may be with the liberals who want to tax away the hard-earned income that he sweats for, just to give it away to others who have not earned it.
Thanks Lori. you’re the best. Jesus loves you so do I. May You Blessed always dearest sister in the Lord.
There is only one reason why anyone was triggered by these articles. Summed up very nicely by Jiddu Krishnamurti in his quote…
‘It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.’
If your article was championing sexual empowerment, promiscuity, and excessive drinking, very few would have been triggered.
With the addition of “Godly” to this, any controversy should go away, and the whole concept becomes a no-brainer. You essentially are saying that conservative, traditional men are interested in conservative, traditional women, which shouldn’t even need much explanation, let alone defence.
I did write a follow up post and titled it Godly Men Prefer Debt-Free Virgins Without Tattoos but from what I have researched, most men, even those who aren’t Christians, prefer debt-free virgins without tattoos.
I find this to be one of the greatest contradictions in women who have tats, they spends so much time trying to look beautiful and then have all sorts of graffiti inked permanently on their bodies.
The Bible forbids ALL tattoos.
You need to be free from the law and embrace the grace God gave you on the cross. This is legalism plain and simple. I know plenty of Godly men who are married to women who weren’t virgins, have tattoos, and have debt from student loans. And if a man doesn’t want to marry me for any of those reasons then I wouldn’t want to be with him anyway.
Maybe you should go check out Romans and read a little Steve Brown before publishing such a pharisaical article.
Remaining a virgin until marriage isn’t legalism. It’s commanded by God for very good reasons. Staying out of debt is a command from the Bible. Marking oneself up with tattoos is not what God calls women to be – shamefaced (not drawing attention to oneself) and discreet. This isn’t legalism! It’s biblical and young women need to be taught these things.
“I should have definitely titled it “Godly Men Prefer Debt-Free Virgins Without Tattoos.”
Naw… stick to your original idea: ALL men prefer Debt-Free Virgins Without Tattoos.
You didn’t need to add the word, “godly” to the title. It doesn’t matter whether men are Christian or not, the vast majority still prefer debt-free virgins without tattoos.
All men prefer debt-free virgins with no tattoos and no weird piercings. It is not just men who actively practice Christianity. There are obvious biological reasons for this. But Christianity is needed to give women moral and cultural guidance. Without such guidance, and without being led by good men, they easily give in to their most base desires and whims, and end up being unmarriageable.
As an educated, dept-free, virgin, without tattoos, holding a job, working on my masters (debt free), I struggle to find a man willing to wait for sex. I’m 29, and my longest relationship is 2 months because I won’t have sex, and many of them claim to be ‘Godly’. This is starting to seam impossible. In my experience, men want to have sex early in the relationship. So, I don’t believe what you saying that ‘men prefer debt free, virgins, without tattoos’ because I am one, and still single.
Truly godly men won’t. They will highly respect a woman who believes in virginity until marriage.
Christianity comes with many rewards, and they’re earned. Women today are not taught to do the work required, and they are distressed that said rewards are then not given them.
We need voices like yours. We been the embrace of a higher standard, no excuses.
The hateful women that give you a hard time do so because they cannot stand that such a standard is not only possible, but they don’t have the strength to pursue it.
It’s petty jealousy, nothing more. Every woman secretly dreams of being pure and godly, and they can’t stand their own self-betrayal, having sold themselves out to the world when they could have had more.