No One Cares What Men Want?

No One Cares What Men Want?

“No one cares what men want.” This is what one woman wrote on my Facebook page under the following tweet that I posted.

Do women no longer care what men want? From the reaction from my viral post and this tweet by Noah, you would think that they don’t since feminism seems to have caused many women to despise men. If you are a Christian young women who would love to be married, have children, and be home to raise your children, you should care what good men want in a wife when what they want lines up with God’s Word. All of these traits that Noah listed can be backed up by Scripture.

1. Attractive. We’re the temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19). We are to discipline our bodies and bring them into subjection (1 Corinthians 9:27). Long hair is a woman’s glory (1 Corinthians 11:15). We’re to be temperate in all things (1 Corinthians 9:25). If you do all of these things, you will most likely be attractive no matter how much natural beauty you do or don’t have. (Your chances of having clear skin are much greater when you’re eating healthy and have cut out the junk food and sugar. It worked for me when I was a young woman!)

2. Debt Free. The Bible calls debt bondage. “The borrower is servant to the lender” (Proverbs 22:7) and “Owe no man any thing, but to love one another: for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law” (Romans 13:8).

3. Virgins. God commands us to FLEE fornication (1 Corinthians 6:18) and be chaste (Titus 2:5). Sex in His design is only for marriage.

4. Have Domestic Skills. Women are to be “keepers at home” (Titus 2:5) and “look well to the ways of their household” (Proverbs 31:27).

5. Want to Be Mothers. Young women are to “marry, bear children, guide the home…” (1 Tim. 5:14). God created marriage. He said it was not good for man to be alone so he created a help meet for him (Genesis 2:18) and told them to be fruitful and multiply (Genesis 1:28). Nothing has changed. “Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety” (1 Timothy 2:15).

6. No Tattoos. Older women are to teach young women to be discreet and shamefaced (not wanting to draw attention to themselves) (Titus 2:5 and 1 Timothy 2:9). The Church was very much against tattoos until recently. They’re also detrimental to one’s health.

If you don’t care what men prefer, care about what God commands, young Christian women. I know the feminists women among us take offense to all of this since it’s opposite to what they’ve been taught their entire lives but as godly women, you understand that God’s ways are for your good and they are perfect.

I also know that some of you have already blown it in some of these areas. You aren’t a virgin. You have a mountain of debt and so on. Once you believe in Jesus Christ and are filled with His Spirit, all of your sins are forgiven and you are a new creature in Christ. It doesn’t mean that you are now a virgin and your student loan debt is wiped clean. Some men may still choose to not marry you due to these issues and it’s their right. But it doesn’t mean you will never get married and it doesn’t mean that you can’t have a wonderful life being a wife and mother some day. God is in the business of transforming lives!

This post and others like it are not to condemn those who fail to meet these qualities but to warn young women to not fall for the lies and traps of culture/feminism. It’s for their protection. Surely, no one can fault us for this. Someone needs to tell them that God’s ways are perfect.

Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat: Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.
Matthew 7:13, 14

27 thoughts on “No One Cares What Men Want?

  1. It was difficult for me to find a man who actually appreciated a woman such as myself who possessed these qualities: virginity, thin and fit, debt free, and great cook. Feminism has sadly infected the minds of men as well. God’s ways are SO GOOD!

  2. Some men want these, but some want them for negative reasons. For example, they want an attractive woman, but to them, that means wearing tight clothing, tons of makeup, and getting their hair colored, and spending hours in the gym instead of at home. Or they want a virgin but want the woman to give up their virginity before marriage to them, or aren’t virgins themselves and are disappointed when she can’t perform like a p*rn star. They want women who want to be mothers, but then want to use birth control as soon as they are married.

    It’s very discouraging. The things that are posted online from the single men these days are honestly frightening. They do not value motherhood, chastity, modesty, or homemaking skills in the practical sense, only theoretically. It seems they want to be lazy (not go to school, not get a well-paying job, not find their own home, play video games, etc) and have a personal s*x slave and cook, instead of a helpmeet to help raise a family and do life together. Where is this remnant, Lori? And also, how do we keep our sons from falling into this trap of thinking?

    1. It’s the parent’s responsibility and their’s alone to raise their children in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord. I know many, many good young men, Kate. There will always be a remnant who love God and His ways.

    2. Its all about doing your part to raise your kids biblically. There will always be remnant of guys and girls who will live by God’s word. They are the minority but out there.

  3. I agree with most of the things written here. Of course many people make mistakes, no one is perfect, and it doesn’t mean if you don’t have one of these qualities that no one will ever love you but you should try your hardest to be the best you can be and these are definately some qualities we should all strive for.

    However, I very much dislike the focus on a woman’s weight in this culture, unless the comments are due to some sort of medical issues. I’ve literally had an aquaintance of mine (not a Christian, obviously) comment on the fact that he would never date me because I’m too muscular for a woman and because ehm, certain parts of my body are not big enough (and I am no body builder, that’s for sure, I just enjoy certain type of sports, all in moderation). The guy was himself a little chubby and a little on the shorter side, so he wasn’t exactly a catch looks-wise. Such double standards and such utter lack of any self-critisism is what annoys me. Most of the time, at least in my experience, the men telling average women to lose weight are themselves far from being healthy.

    But don’t get me wrong, I am not at all supportive towards this “love yourself no matter what size” movement that is so popular today. If you’re unhealthy, you should lose weight, and it might be helpful if some of the people close to you point that out.

    1. I wouldn’t worry about what that man or others like him and what they think about your natural healthy build. They have a right to have preferences (just like you do too). There will be men who appreciate your build. It’s kind of nice that the ones who don’t readily weed themselves out.

      Yes, I’ve seen the double standard some of them have when they want a 10 but they themselves look like a 2. I’d just say “good luck to them and move one” (you didn’t want them anyway).

      But I have to say, men in general aren’t really picky. They are usually happy to get what they can get. If a woman has a pleasant disposition, smiles a lot, and is truly interested in what those men have to say, and show they think highly of the man’s options, most men will automatically find that woman attractive even if she doesn’t have their “dream” body type.

      I remember eating dinner with a group of guys in college. They were all fanboys of some of the really pretty girls and would talk about them endlessly. It made me think on a scale of 1-10 you’d have to be a 12 to get their approval. I soon learned that they all were more realistically just as excited about average appearance girls who showed interest in them. Don’t get me wrong, if you start proactively making yourself unattractive with lots of extra weight, tats, lots of piercings and blue hair, it would take a lot longer to find a decent fellow, your pool of potential suitors starts to shrink with each of these additions.

      But in general, men are simple and would like an average non-supermodel who is interested in him a lot. They may “talk” a good game at the dinner table (or online) about only wanting a movie star but if you get to know them and are pleasant (that is key) they will be thrilled with the average girl too.

      1. M,

        I wish I would have known this as a younger woman. I didn’t have the assets of a Playboy/Victoria’s Secret model and overheard conversations men had with each other about these types of women and figured I wasn’t marriage material. Men first notice a woman who’s incredibly attractive before they know the condition of her heart and her relationship with Christ. It’s not always as simple as being kind and thin and not having piercings or an unnatural hair color.

    2. M, you’ve hit the nail square on the head. Too many men (young guys, mostly) succumb to peer pressure even with regard to their expressed preferences. I suppose it’s a variant of “virtue signalling.” Not wanting to be ridiculed for you honest beliefs/feelings. Most of us are just as you say, attracted to a sweet disposition and a woman’s admiration much more than her “packaging.”

  4. “No one cares what men want.”

    SADLY, NO THEY DO NOT CARE. It doesn’t matter what the woman’s age is.

    Attractive – it doesn’t matter that most men find grossly overweight women to be unattractive. As a man I don’t expect a perfect weight woman. I am about 20lbs over weight myself and am working on losing that. What does not appeal to me is a woman 12 inches shorter than me and considerably out weighs me and she has no medical reason for it.

    Debt Free – a lot of women are deeply in debt from student loans and credit cards. I’m 58yr old and a widower. Even women in the range I am looking at of 50-58yr old still have a lot of student loan debt from their 20’s because they can’t / won’t pay it off. That tells me she has no wise stewardship and assumes no responsibility for her actions.

    Virgins – from what I have heard from the women’s own mouth and seen with my own eyes, virginity means nothing to a woman. Being a 58yr old looking at women from 50-58yr old, sadly and realistically I can’t expect to find an older woman with less than 10+ sexual partners which may even include a lesbian affair.

    Have Domestic Skills – again even woman in my age range don’t have any of these skills. What’s worse is that they refuse to learn any skills.

    Want to Be Mothers – HA! A lot of women may have several children to 2 or 3 different men but they are not interested in being a mother except for the $ they get from child support and the government. I hear a lot of women say they can’t wait to get the children off to school or to the baby sitter so that they don’t have to put up with the children.

    No Tattoos – especially tattoos of other guys names. Like I want to be reminded every time I look at her body.

    I am not expecting a perfect woman with no bad decisions in her past. What I am looking at is whether she is repentant of her bad decisions.

    But again as the article says: no one cares what a man wants. And with the trend going the way it is, I expect that attitude to get MUCH worse…..

    Ana, sounds like that guy is just a player, a “parts man”

    A man needs to look first at a woman’s relationship with Jesus, then her attitude, what’s in her heart, then the whole package of what she looks like, not just certain parts of her body.

    1. Hi, Blair,
      You may not be finding women who want children since you are dating ladies between 50 and 58 because a woman’s window of fertility declines with something called menopause. Men’s does too but not as obviously. God opens and CLOSES wombs. If at 58 you feel the Lord is calling you to parent maybe you could serve as a foster parents?
      Prayers for finding the right next wife!
      JC

  5. It’s difficult to hear but it’s better that women like you are honest instead of trying to sugarcoat things. I don’t meet all of the qualifications but I try my best to meet most of them and living my God’s plan for me has made me a happier person, it makes me realize I don’t know everything and am not always right, but I’m not supposed to be either.

  6. I agree with most of the qualities that Noah listed, but some are just not realistic, for example, long hair. Perhaps his post is primarily for white women? I am an African, I have short, coily hair. The only way that I would ever have long hair is if I purchased it. Secondly, clear skin. Sometimes, a sugar-free diet clears the skin up but there are people who suffer from real skin issues, and clear skin may not be possible.
    I am all for raising Godly young women but requiring a woman to have long hair and clear skin?

    1. God tells us that long hair on a woman is her glory in 1 Cor. 11:15 but my best friend could never grow her hair past her shoulders. God created us all differently and the heart is definitely the main issue. All skin issues come from an unhealthy gut so it’s best to learn to heal the gut. Like Hippocrates said, “Let food be your medicine and medicine be your food.”

      1. If ALL skin issues come from an unhealthy gut, why does my nearly 18-year-old daughter deal with break-outs several days before her period each month? It seems hormonal to me. She is a good eater, drinks only water, and maintains a good skincare regimen.

        1. Make sure she eats NO sugar or junk food. She needs good probiotics to populate her gut. This is what makes a healthy gut. Even hormones are affected by our gut. After all, health begins and ends in the gut since this is where the food we eat is digested.

        2. I had the very same thing. I thought I was eating very healthy, but there are a lot of hidden sugars in things, even “healthy” breads and cereals. Insulin can play a big part as well as the gut. Keeping sugars, even sugary fruits down is a help. Berries are better, I do encourage organic foods. Most of our fruits have been modified to be double or more the sugar they once were, without also increasing the fiber. Food sensitives are also a problem that can arise more so with the hormonal changes. Dairy and gluten are also big problems, as well as soy. I struggled for decades, my cycle wrecked my face, but I took out dairy first and that ridded me of the cystic acne, then gluten and it got rid of the other facial acne. I also have less cramping. We all have different bodies and we may need to add or eliminate certain things. I get good gut bacteria from sugar and soy free vegan yogurts and coconut aminos. I hope this helps and that your daughter can find relief. It’s not a fun thing to deal with.

    2. Charlina Daitouah , the scripture about long hair always confused me too as the only way some black women can ever “grow” their hair long (that I have found) is if they lock it. Perhaps God wants black the women who can’t grow long hair to get dreadlocks or sister locks or something? 🤷🏾‍♀️

      1. As an African woman, I understand the limitations to growing long hair which are encoded in my DNA by my loving Father in heaven. However, I believe that God looks on the heart. If a peach fuzz is the ultimate length your hair can go to; praise the Lord and don’t shave your head. If with the help of coconut oil, plaits and pure egg or avocado conditioning you can get your hair to shoulder length, then hallelujah do that. Just don’t fall for the lie that because you are black, you are exempt from having a glorious head of hair no matter the length or texture. In all things, check your heart’s alignment to God’s Word.

  7. The phrase “no one cares what men want” perfectly summarizes the essential sin of Feminism.

    It’s the evil of Feminism condensed down into it’s most basic form.

    To understand why this is such an evil thing to say, imagine a group of millions of men whose motto is “we don’t care if women live or die”.

    Imagine a group of men whose central organizing principle is: “We don’t care about children, let them all starve”.

    When a group of women say they don’t care what men want, that is, essentially, saying they want to turn men into slaves. You can squirm and deny, but that’s what it is — the desire to turn the target of your distain into a slave, to be starved, subdued, jailed and ruined.

    The essence of feminism is to treat men as non-people.

    Of course men have long ago figured this out. That’s why young men, teenagers, are on the internet learning to use guns and build bombs.

    Congratulations Feminism. You have created a generation of young male terrorists.

  8. Our culture has been hijacked and Satan seems to be winning, when you read comments like the woman who wrote that above, feminism and what it has done to Womens’ minds, what is taught in school k-university – (the incessant drumbeat of dividing us and pitting women against men and all of this gender confusion stuff), what is NOT taught in the church anymore (biblical roles for men and women and embracing how God designed us and planned for us to have different roles), what young men watch and what they write on social media (“do you need a date for **-college function-**? I’ll go with you in exchange for a*al”. ). We have a sick sick society.

    When I am sad and overwhelmed by all of this, it is a reminder to immerse myself in God’s word. He is greater than all of these problems and He WILL accomplish His purposes. When I worry if my children will find God-fearing mates, I must remind myself that God already has that plan taken care of! I can only see a mile or two down the road. God can see to eternity. Despite the schemes of Satan on this playground called Earth, God is great and God is good. His will WILL be done.

  9. In one of my childhood development classes in school discussed parenting styles. Many were shocked to hear that parents spend less time comforting their boys than their daughters and hypothesized that this was a source of “toxic masculinity.” My comment was that it was good that boys were comforted less because they have to learn to grow up in a world where no one cares about their problems. Of course this comment was unpopular, as were many of my contributions in class.

    Nevertheless, it’s true and this is why wives and home making are so important!!! A wife at home is the one place on earth that a man can go for respite, for kindness, for comfort. She creates a soft and warm environment to soothe him after a long day in a cold world. She makes his favorite meal because she is the only one who cares what he wants. She cleans his clothes, makes his bed, prepares his meals, and cares for his children because no one else in the world is on his team. She doesn’t do this altogether unselfishly either because she benefits from giving him these things. These behaviors stoke his desire for her, his drive to provide, and his ability to stand up and fight knowing he is respected. The more she saves to give him the more he can trust in her support. His gain is her gain.

  10. No women do not care what men want. They get so much attention when they are young that most women it honestly does not cross their minds what does a man like and how should i do it? They think it is a hate crime to list what you want in a woman if they dont meet it today. Then they hypocritically make 100 point lists for what they are looking in a man pound tinder for half a decade then march for feminism.
    The women i know that i have told straight up what i want in a wife they just freak.
    This is not a criticism of christian women which at least in my church are trying to find a spouse right out of highschool. And they have to care what men want because their are not unlimited in the church. But our society no, women do not care they can date for a decade and it never crosses their mind.

  11. A man my age at church once told me I was too covered up in my dressing. I was just wearing modern but modest clothing. That weeded him out for me. Then I met my husband and he loved that about me. I did not have debt or a college degree. To the world I wasn’t much. To him and Him I was. On the subject of clear skin. My decades acne was due to gluten and dairy, possibly sugar. Within 3 weeks it was gone. Healthy eating is excellent for fertility and pregnancy. Start now young ladies. Lori, can only a woman of a certain age teach women to be good wives and homemakers? I’m in my 30s but I might have some insight to pass along. Thanks!

    1. Titus 2 instructs the older women to be teaching the younger women. That said, it does not mean that younger women do not have anything valuable to share.

      I would suggest that you pass things along in a forum like this one… from time to time… as pertinent topics that you have experience with come around. I think that too many younger women who open blogs of their own put pressure on themselves to “produce content” and that can be a big distraction and time waster, often leading them to neglect their primary responsibilities (husband, children, home) and also leading them to (try to) tackle topics that they really do not yet have enough experience in.

      I think what you shared today about your experience with food was interesting and helpful.

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