Sending Daughters Off to College Out From Under Male Protection
Is it wise for parents to send daughters off to college? Many daughters who are raised in Christian homes turn away from their faith when they go out from under their father’s protection and go to college. In the movie “Unplanned,” Abby states that she grew up in a Baptist home in a small town, then her parents shipped her off to college. She was soon indoctrinated with the Planned Parenthood mantra (“a woman has a right to choose what she wants to do with her body”) and became involved in partying, drinking, and all that goes with this. She ended up having two abortions.
Cane Caldo wrote, “Foolish and worldly talk, as I have seen and heard first hand in churches I have attended, is when Christian fathers send their 18 year old daughters off alone to a college campus in a far off city where they will be surrounded by sexual immorality and expected to join in with the general bacchanalia. She may be drunk and passed out in a frat house, but at least she’s in college and unmarried. This is foolish and worldly.”
The breakdown of the family and feminism has made women more unsafe. God’s intention is for women to be protected by good men that love them. Even as Jesus was dying on the cross, He asked one of His disciples to care for His mother. He wanted His mother in the care of a man’s protection.
Can we find any examples in Scripture that tells us of young women willingly leaving their homes to go off somewhere without a father’s or husband’s protection? Can we find any commands that this is okay? In fact, God’s will for young widows is not to go off and be independent but to marry, bear children, and guide the home so they give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully (1 Timothy 5:14). It seems that woman tend to get in trouble if they are independent and doing their own thing as we can clearly see today. (One example some may bring up is Ruth and Naomi, since Naomi’s husband and sons died and they went off to another land but soon were under the protection of Boaz. This is not an example of willingly leaving a man’s protection.)
Who thought it was a good idea to send off young and impressionable daughters to places where they would be given complete freedom to live as they please? Most colleges teach nothing about the Lord but most everything against Him. Young women aren’t even safe on most college campuses with rapes and abductions occurring. It’s not wise for them to be walking around the campus at night alone. They are much safer in their homes with their fathers and under their roofs (if they are good men) or when married with their husbands under their roofs.
God never meant for women to be independent, making their own money for their pleasures, and living without any male protection. Women are the weaker vessel and need protection. God meant it to be this way. Our culture has gone so far from God’s will for women that it’s difficult to find our way back. It’s hard to see through all of the feminist agenda to see what is actually the good and right way.
Colleges take most daughters far from God’s path for them and this is why we are seeing fewer and fewer marriages, more young women living with boyfriends, and many fewer children being born, even by Christian young women. Most Christian colleges are infiltrated with feminist’s doctrine instead of godly, biblical doctrine for women. As culture becomes darker and more wicked, parents need to think carefully before sending their daughters off and away from the father’s protection.
When Jesus therefore saw his mother, and the disciple standing by, whom he loved, he saith unto his mother, Woman, behold thy son! Then saith he to the disciple, Behold thy mother! And from that hour that disciple took her unto his own home.
John 19:26, 17
37 thoughts on “Sending Daughters Off to College Out From Under Male Protection”
Also beware of Leftist brainwashing and radical feminist propaganda! I saw plenty of it in the college I went to, which wasn’t a secular school also!
Short answer, YES. Unpopular, but true.
Bravo again, Lori!
Thanks for the link, Lori. That post was written by a reader who left the same sentiments in a comment. I asked him to expand it into a guest-post. He did a great job.
mom pushed feminism for years even though she was a pastor’s wife. sis and I lived according to this. made my mistakes early,recovered, am now married living a biblical lifestyle w/great husband. sis married but continued to listen to mom and wound up dumping her husband and going on to live an unstable ungodly life. she is nearing her 60’s and is sick,unstable,and in a stressful job. she never had or adopted kids. her and mom claim she is so happy,but she is constantly ill and miserable or stressed over latest jerk she has been with. my prayer is that the church will start confronting these false teachings instead of accepting them for the money/people in attendance. when will we all learn that biblical is the best and easiest life?
You’re welcome and thank you for the clarification!
“God never meant for women to be independent, making their own money for their pleasures, and living without any male protection.”
As is so often the case what you say will be very controversial, but it is absolutely true. I am sure I am not alone among those of us who went to college and lived independently, in having behaved in a way which I know was sinful and been at great risk of the sin into which the majority of my compatriots descended.
In good situations, with good parents, I’d agree absolutely.
For me, my family was TOTAL DYSFUNCTION. Getting away from them was necessary to my survival. While college is truly a giant drunken orgy in some ways, can definitely be dangerous, etc., I desperately needed to breathe on my own. I had my semester of fun- not too much- but immediately went back to serious studies, interning at a job nearly full time, etc. Adding to that that I didn’t marry until 31, without college, I probably would’ve ended up homeless. As it was, I was working 3 jobs to survive. Los Angeles is not a good place to find a spouse, and especially not if you’re under 30 because the men just aren’t interested in settling down. Of my friends that married younger, most were pregnant. That wasn’t what I wanted at all, and they’re all divorced now.
Sometimes we just have to make the best of what we can. For me, that was getting away from crazy people.
I was so blessed, as my family was academic and I had academic aspirations, to do my college study for the first part of my degree 25 mins from home! I traveled quite a bit and had grown up as a military brat living in diff parts of the world. BUT, due to God’s grace, I stayed under my father’s roof until I married at 22! But this was counter cultural to my friends! The pull was hard at times to “get an apt” with my best friend. It was tempting too as my mom and I didn’t get along and she made life at home very hard. I had a few jobs, library work and barista! I paid my own way slowly as I didn’t want debt. But each time I was tempted to leave home all I could think of was that I couldn’t trust myself not to get into trouble. Everyone was drinking and partying and free….But it didn’t feel right. I was just about to transfer to a larger university to finish my archaeology degree when I was 21 when a family death/crisis occurred. I stayed home to keep an eye on my parents, who were heavily grieving, and passed up a scholarship offered to me. Best decision ever as I met my now husband a few months later at my home town Church! For work I was tutoring high school for a home school company from home. My husband was from the other side of the world but we met in my small town Church! Amazing. Now I thank God I stayed at home for those years. That didn’t mean I was a ready, submissive wife though !! I had a lot to learn! But it did protect my virture and my self control.
This brings me to a question. While homeschooling my six (and loving it!!) I can already see the academic-leaning ones. My eldest is almost 11 and already talking about wanting to be a teacher (which I can totally see!) ….how do you encourage their aspirations and discourage “going away” to these hotbeds of iniquity? I believe universities are especially aimed at destroying and liberalizing young women as they are the tentative MOTHERS of tmr. And motherhood is the enemy. Godly motherhood that is.
Sorry for the long comment. I have just been witnessing a friend’s 17 year old daughter — beautiful and intelligent girl. She was homeschooled and now she was accepted to a main Aussie University at 17 for a science major to be in medical school! She told me the other Sunday after Mass that her FIRST week they were hit with everything about birth control, reproduction, etc…week one! She seemed a little down and definitely taken aback. I don’t care how mature you are, that can’t be healthy at 17!
God bless you and your readers, Lori!
No, it isn’t healthy for young women at the ages of 17 and 18 to be hit with birth control, reproduction “rights,” feminism, and all of the other anti-biblical things that will come. For your oldest, I am not sure what to tell you. I always wanted to be a teacher, therefore, my dad sent me away to a small Christian college, then I went to a university to receive my credential. The years of student teaching and teaching while being sick, pregnant, and nursing were some of the worse years in my life.
Later, I homeschooled my children and now I teach women about biblical womanhood. Just because they want to teach doesn’t meant that they have to spend a fortune on a college education (which it wasn’t when I went to college). Hopefully by the time they are older, they can do it all online. But my favorite thing is to learn what I want to learn instead of what I was made to learn in college which I didn’t enjoy at all nor do I remember any of it.
Seek the Lord for wisdom!
The breakdown of the family has made it a much more dangerous place for women, Debby. You are not alone. Way too many women are raised in homes that are far from safe havens, unfortunately, but college doesn’t have to be the answer for all of them. They may have good and kind relatives that can take them in. Maybe, even grandparents could do this for them. I am sure that young women in your situation could seek the Lord in prayer and ask for wisdom to make a way for them so they wouldn’t have to go to college.
I recall birth control being ‘offered’ to the point of it being almost obligatory and promiscuity being expected behaviour. All in the name of ‘women’s rights.
Unless a girl can be educated in a safe environment, morally and physically and remains under her parents clear authority. It is much better that she doesn’t get a further education, which in most cases is in any case aimed at advancing a career which is entirely inconsistent with her Godly role as a keeper at home.
We must keep in mind that their eternal soul is MUCH more important than anything else they can achieve in this world which is fading.
Lori, we live on a rock in the middle of nowhere. There is a dearth of godly people and the few that we have are octogenarians. My husband and I are some of the youngest in our little church because we are not even 40 yet, but have the largest number of children. We pray hard for our children’s future spouses because we don’t want to send them to universities abroad (even Christians ones) in the hope that they meet someone godly to marry like some Christians over here are doing. I married late at age of 25 (my mother married at 17, it’s legal in my country. If a girl old enough to have a boyfriend, she’s better off having a husband) because I was fed feminism in school and by the time God laid marriage on my heart and brought Mr Right by, I had aged a bit. My husband was 26 (he wanted to be able to support a wife and children first, which took a little longer than he wanted but God worked it out) We encourage our children to marry young but we’ll need God to intervene because we just don’t see where the spouses will come from. My husband will not bless marriage to non believers or “in name only” Christians.
I just laughed remembering my father being determined to deliver 3 virgins to their husbands on their wedding days( 3 of us were girls). He was not a Christian until 5 years into my marriage, but that was his mission. He stated it loud and he stated it often. He was an armed man and he was not afraid to let men and boys know it. We just never socialized with males away from his or my mother’s hawk like eyes. My older sister bristled the most under their strict rules but married at 19 and is now on the same mission with her two daughters and 3 sons????? My father never relaxed until the last virgin was walked down the aisle, and now we are grateful for his protection and with God’s help we shall accomplish that mission in our children’s lives.
Children appreciate boundaries and protection even if they don’t realize is at the time. It is a blessing that parents give their children!
We will always be a remnant but there will always be a remnant, thankfully.
Your father and your sister are right to have the expectation that they do and what’s more in later life you will all thank them for it.
Your are absolutely right that God never meant for women to be independent! I will gladly be the first to admit that i am totally dependent on the men in my life (my husband, my dad and my three wonderful adult sons) to protect me and take care of me. My dad introduced me to my husband to be (he worked for my dad, still does!) when I was 18 and just finishing being homeschooled by my mom. My dad placed me in my husband’s care when we were married a few days after my 19th birthday. My parents instructed him to “bring her back pregnant” from our honeymoon! And that’s exactly what my husband did, and he has completely taken care of my every need since. I truly fear for our young women these days with the evils that are out there in colleges and through feminist agendas that teach our young women to “take control of their lives” and that they don’t need a man to be happy. From the time I was a teenager my desire in life was to follow God’s plan by marrying young, getting pregnant, staying pregnant, staying HOME where I belong (not in college), raise babies, take care of my household, submit to and obey my husband and he in turn will protect me, take care of me, educate me and provide for me. It is so very sad to see how times have changed.
It is strange to see so many suffering under the discipline of God and their own poor choices, yet not willing to acknowledge it. It’s so sad. God keeps trying to get their attention but they keep ignoring Him.
Quite frankly, sending either a daughter or a son to college nowadays is a waste of precious money and life time. Colleges have become nothing more than Marxist SJW indoctrination factories (that’s increasingly true even of “Christian” institutions) where true knowledge and the paths thereto have been all but outlawed. Even STEM disciplines and Medicine, two of the only remaining worthwhile and useful fields in which to major, have fallen prey to PC rot.
Also, the job market is today flooded with college graduates competing for an ever-diminishing number of jobs, thanks to the metastasis of global socialism that is destroying the domestic economy and offshoring remunerative jobs. (Ladies, if you ever find yourselves wondering why the man you love “can’t seem to get or keep a decent job,” this is more likely than anything else to be the culprit – regardless of his stellar work history or credentials.)
College aside, I will also assert that it’s not a good idea for either young men or young women to be out in the world alone and away from extended family nowadays. For one thing. very few are mature enough to handle the challenges of “independent” life without constant access to the “life wisdom” of their elders. Also, our ever-mobile society is tearing extended families apart as people feel compelled to “chase their dreams” to distant places in which they lack the anchor and bonds of family. Only Satan benefits from that arrangement.
I only have life experience to draw from, not college experience, but here’s what my husband and I have done. If your 11 year old is a son, do prepare him for college by teaching in 9 th – 12 th grades the subjects that are the groundwork for college bound children. I never did advanced placement for any of my children, and they all said that even though some of the info in their first year of college was review, it was still good for them to get used to having more than one teacher, timed classes, etc. There is absolutely no one pushing your child out of the nest at 17. Some of mine were ready, but some were not and they worked per their father’s instructions. While working, taking online core classes that are transferable to the college is also an excellent way to get their feet wet in college level courses. Our choice was to send our sons to a local college so they could commute from home. I drove them to and from college because we shared a vehicle. We talked about their day’s events, their teachers, their subjects and expected honesty in return. Open lines of communication is key. As much as we could, we knew where they were, and they had their cell phones as well. They always asked us when they were expected to be somewhere outside of normal school classes (ie being a teacher’s aide, at the college library studying). We had their schedules on the calendar, and we didn’t encourage extra curricular activities. College is for learning not to increase their social life.
For a daughter, encourage them to get the best education they can at home. If you don’t plan on sending your daughter to college, still give her the best homeschool education possible to prepare her for possibly homeschooling her children. If you do plan on it, then follow the same guidelines above. This has worked for our family so far. Prayerfully, this is helpful to you. ?❤
Thank you!
feeriker, nothing but truth. STEM fields have been infested a long time now with ‘Women in Engineering’ initiatives. It comes with all the handouts, handholding and social engineering you can expect.
I attended a top-5 engineering school. Firsthand, I have witnessed the rare female in engineering sleep her way to grades, and not only with fellow students for homework answers.. One woman in particular facilitated her mathematics professor cheating on his wife and two children. On no less than two separate occasions.
Can you picture your baby girl disrobing before a man twice, thrice her age as she chases the idol of a perfect 4.0? We are failing these women by enabling via finances, and shortchanging them on leadership. She worships at the altar of ego, while parents worship at the altar of ignorance.
It’s pimping. It is pimping out your child. Call it what it is.
‘Empowerment!’ ‘Diversity!’ ‘Accomplishment!’ .. Society keeps circling the toilet.
As homeschoolers we are in the minority within our homeschool community where we live of not planning to send our girls to college. For our son, we are hoping he will choose a trade school of some sort and he can enter the workforce quickly. I really don’t think a lot of Christian parents think this through.
What’s so heartbreaking is I read recently of yet another college girl murdered. We need to keep our “babies” home!
Good thoughts! Never thought of it this way, but you are right! A father is a woman’s protector until she marries a godly man. I went to a Christian university on the other side of the coast far from my parents, but this Christian University was super strict and had many rules and I abided by them and actually didn’t mind. I can see the university was protecting both its young men and women from worldly distractions and other things that young college kids get into such as alcohol, sexual immorality, drugs, etc. Great article!
“(Ladies, if you ever find yourselves wondering why the man you love “can’t seem to get or keep a decent job,” this is more likely than anything else to be the culprit – regardless of his stellar work history or credentials.)”
Well said. You know what though, the husband will often be blamed for his unsuccessfulness in finding a good paying job. Most Christians, don’t see how the feministic tentacles are spreading to every sector of society, so therefore it “must” be his fault! They are so uninformed, so naive. It’s disheartening. I was one of these believers until I found the so called manosphere blogs which although not usually Christian in nature have lessons we all could learn.
My advice. Move out of the city. Buy a small cheap land. Live in a camper if needed on said land, and save up what you’d pay in rent – which these days it’s rather pricey. Then you’ll have more disposable money.
Stephanie – I think you were very lucky. My own view is that the only way girls should leave home to study is within a religious order.
sadly, my father did not provide a safe, abuse-free environment for me- so I was not sinning by leaving the family home. But I should not have gone to college, I never did use my degree. I live int he UK where so many of our industries have depleted and college is touted as the only life choice for so many of us.
I think we can do nothing about our pasts- if a woman regrets college or leaving her home, she can do nothing now to rectify the situation, but she can warn other women to choose wisely. And forgive herself and remind herself that her past is under the blood of Jesus.
You’ve given me something to think about. I stayed home during college but felt my experience was “boring”. In the end…maybe it was good for me. Who knows?
As a man who attended a “prestigious, Christian” college about ten years ago, I can personally attest to the disgusting nature of even the “good” colleges. The schools – specifically the dorms – openly push blackout drinking, rampant promiscuity, birth control, and abortions. And they focus on the women. They don’t even bother with the men. Presumably, this is because women have some natural tendency to avoid the lower depths of sexual sin. And, the colleges need to break that down. And, they do.
I will admit that my time at university had a profoundly negative effect on my life. While I did not personally fall too far, I witnessed many friends embark on dark paths from which they have never returned. And, it has fundamentally changed my view of women. Before going off to college, I desired a simple “old fashioned” life, in which I would get married and be the breadwinner for my wife and children. But, now, some ten years later, I am realizing that there is a serious and troubling lack of “good women” to even consider marrying. I ask myself where all the good women I knew in my youth went. The answer is that they either married young or went to college and fell. And, from what I saw of these “good” “Christian” college women, I could never, ever, view them as a serious prospect for a wife.
It is a sad statement to how far our colleges, and the culture-at-large have fallen. I think about it often, and it makes me quite sad.
What about women whose husband and father died and they’re left with a bunch of children and no college education to get a job support their family? Or those whose husbands don’t make enough money to support the family? My husband couldn’t work for a year as he’s an immigrant so I started my own online business to support the 2 of us and our baby. It’s not always possible to support a large family on one income.
I don’t see why one needs a college education to start an online business, Catherine. Did you know that 2/3s of the 1.5 trillion dollar student loan debt is owed by women and that most never even use their college degree? It’s a great hoax put upon the youth of today since it has become an idol that keeps them in bondage for many, many years.
I have an almost 18 year old daughter…and we are not sending her to college. In our homeschool co-op that meets twice a month…we are in the minority. I think some of the other mamas think I am old fashioned and crazy….and sometimes I start to question my husband and my decision…like, am I just being too controlling? But truly, I know this is the right thing and reading your comment (and many of Lori’s posts) encourage me! 🙂
Hmmm…this all boils down to who one is in the Body of Christ and how/for what the Lord has made you. We must all learn to bear one another so we don’t end up thinking what we are doing is more important than other things God has going on in the world. If you would pass this along to those intent on (debt free) college—I would always recommend ensuring your daughters and sons get in with a Christian group on campus immediately—it was a major source of support for me. My science education professor at a state college was an evangelical woman of faith, prominent in her career, and personal mentor. Christians are on campus all over the place. Find them! Some Christians definitely should not go to college—if they are really afraid of the leftist agenda or are given to conspiracy theories and feel like they will be a leaf tossed in the waves and totally taken under—do not go! There are many who have been given the faith, wisdom and ability to make it through—debt free (there is always hard work, grants and scholarships!). Don’t hinder those people. Pray for them! Encourage them! Know they are going to accomplish things for the Lord that you can’t do and praise the Lord for the scope of His reach!
Also, If you bring up a child the way that they should go, then there should be no need for fear of them straying according to Proverbs 22:6.