Recently, I have been trying to convince women of the destruction of the phrase “emotional needs” in marriage. Women go into marriage believing that their husbands are to meet all of their emotional needs which are intangible. This is an impossibility for husbands and has led to many women divorcing their husbands. They falsely believe their husbands are to meet their emotional needs, love them with their love language, and make them happy, and if they don’t, they’re out. This is all psychobabble that has been used to destroy the family.
Psychology Today wrote an article The Curse of Emotional Needs. “The idea of ’emotional needs’ is one of the more harmful notions of pop psychology. The term came into popular discourse in the 1980s, as part of what is known as the culture of self-obsession, which has grown steadily, as scores on measures of narcissism indicate.” We live in a selfish world. Everything is about us and our pleasures. This entire concept is satanic and needs to be rooted out of your life, women!
Women don’t need to be taught their love language or that their husbands are to meet their emotional needs. They need to be taught to love and obey their husbands with meek and quiet spirits. They have been learning from and obeying psychologists rather than being taught biblical womanhood by godly, older women. This has only caused devastation for men, women, children, families, and nations. I wish I had been taught biblical womanhood from godly, older woman when I was a young women. It would have saved years of grief in my marriage from the expectations I put upon my husband.
Godly and good emotions are great and given to us by God. Weep with those who weep. Mourn with those who mourn. Rejoice with those who rejoice. I am not referring to these types of emotions concerning the emotional needs of women. I am referring to feelings and emotions that are destructive and have ruined many marriages and women such as giving the silent treatment, outbursts of anger, temper tantrums, bitterness, being in a bad mood and taking it out on him… Children are being taught to be led by their emotions and change genders. Is this a good thing? Women are divorcing since they don’t *feel* happy anymore? Should we divorce based upon our emotions? We are to be led by Truth rather than by our emotions and feelings. Our emotions easily and often lie to us.
Women who struggle with destructive emotions need to be taught to take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ and renew their minds daily with Truth, God’s Word. They must let His Word dwell in them richly so they won’t sin against Him. They need to be taught that the joy of the Lord is their strength, and they can do ALL things (everything God’s commands of them) through Christ who strengthens them! We also need to be singing hymns and spiritual songs (filling our minds with praise), being thankful and not complaining, and understand who we are in Christ and what He has done for us. Every time a negative or critical thought comes into your mind, immediately kick it out and replace it with truth. This is why it’s crucial to have a storehouse of Bible verses in your mind. God promises us a sound mind and explains exactly how we are to have one.
Stop listening to the lies of our culture, women. Begin studying God’s will for you. My book Biblical Womanhood: A Study Guide will take you through everything that God commands of you. You will never find true joy and blessings apart from living in obedience to His Word. His ways are perfect!
Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.