The Manipulated Husband

The Manipulated Husband

The following was written by a man who commented on one of my posts.

“If you’ll study your history, you’ll find women weren’t given the choice in patriarchy. Women gladly accepted patriarchy because the alternative was being left to the wolves, figuratively and literally. Feminism and female rebellion only develop near the end of nice comfortable advanced civilization, typically before they collapse. See: the Fall of the Roman Empire.

“What do you think would happen to women, even in this modern society, if the thin veneer we call civilization peels away? Women lose the protection of men that they so obliviously take for granted. Law and order breaks down, economic collapse, power outages, food shortages? See: German women of Berlin Germany after the collapse of in WW2. Actually forget that… You probably couldn’t handle it. Suffice it to say feminist would be begging for patriarchy. Just trust me.

“Christian single men had better man up and marry because of fornication? I can’t imagine it’s any different in New Zealand but I think you might be confused about the reputation of women in the west, including professing Christian women. The reputation of the modern woman is that she’s sexually generous when she’s single but then later withholds sex from the husband that was foolish enough to marry her. Men understand and indeed studies show.

“Many a married man lives a near celibate life with a porn addiction. Even the churches here openly recognize this. Where is the incentive for single men? I don’t think Christian women quite understand their reputation in the minds of young men in the new millennium. Personally, I’m not even tempted by porn. It’s nothing more than female manipulation of men. Sadly, the same can be said about the average marriage. A manipulated husband. More men are walking away. We’re going to break all this manipulation, one way or another.”

Women *think* they have all of the power. This is what feminism has done to women which began in the Garden when Eve was asked, “Hath God said…?” Then she agreed with Satan, was deceived, and ate the apple. Yes, women are more easily deceived and we are the weaker vessel. These are biblical truths. I can’t believe how many “Christian” women voted for Joe Biden for president when ALL of his policies are against God’s Word and they are destructive.

Women NEED truth, the hard truth. They don’t need female preachers teaching them to get into their feelings, make sure they love themselves, and all of this other nonsense. They need to be taught exactly what God commands older women to teach the young women. Yes, it offends them! I am often told that I am offensive to women. I don’t care. Truth is offensive to those who hate truth.

Young women, change the trajectory that feminism has promoted that leads women far from God’s will. Be in God’s Word and you will find all about God’s will for you especially in Titus 2:3-5. I wrote a book called Biblical Womanhood: A Study Guide that teaches women from God’s Word what His will is for you. God’s will for you is good because He is good! Feminism destroys women and men and society, as we can all clearly see.

Don’t be offended by truth! Don’t be offended by being taught to dress modestly, not deprive your husband sexually as many women are, submit to his leadership, be quiet in the church, be a keeper at home, and all of the other commands that God gives specifically to women. They are good.

 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
Titus 2:3-5

35 thoughts on “The Manipulated Husband

  1. It’s bad these days. Even the GOP has been bragging about the record number of women from the GOP who won. “ 12 As for my people, children are their oppressors, and women rule over them. O my people, they which lead thee cause thee to err, and destroy the way of thy paths.” (A whole other post can be written about the children oppressors. Just look at the colleges.)

  2. Lori, Thanks for this article it’s a much needed message for all women. If we are not guided by God’s word we are left with what the world offers or by what we may “feel.” How important it is to take our feelings to the scripture, if not we are left to listen to all kinds of advice and that advice is not God centered but Me centered. Once we start believing that what we feel is true this opens us up to all kinds of problems including manipulation of men and others. I feel sorry for men today as I think they are confused by women and very cautious on who they can trust (who they can give their heart to). Your last paragraph is so true and so good.

  3. Spot on, Lori, spot on, and well written.

    Just met a young woman in her thirties yesterday, at a Recall Gavin Newsom event in Southern California, quite beautiful, who is married and has a son. She was a Democrat all her life, but shifted to become a conservative after she noted the radical and fanatical attitudes her Vegan and friends of animals allies adopted recently.

    She and millions of other women greatly benefit from truths you teach like today’s column.

    Tens of millions of women are deceived, and either never taught the truth, or taught to despise it, and it is only when it is the twilight years of their lives, too late to seriously reverse course, when they are lonely and miserable, that they awake to the lie that Satan had them loving and living.

    Younger women desperately need instruction from older women on how to become loving wives, mothers, and virtuous Christian women, as a tiny fraction have any comprehension of what this entails.

    I cannot tell you how many thousands of times I’ve had feminists and liberal simps throw out their “no one will marry you with those attitudes” card, when confronted with the truth. Of course, being single and married to God is greatly preferable to the nightmare of being married or in a relationship with a rebellious termagant who loves to argue and defy her husband and Gods authority, but, all the same, it’s terribly sad that the beautiful sacrament of marriage that God created is denied to so many because we dare not enter a union which promises to severely strain our relationship with God and truth, all for the reward of momentary bliss, followed by continual nagging, debate, derision, denigration, and disobedience to the ideas that God our Creator willed.

  4. Wow..this post clearly sums up the flak you get Mrs.Alexander.This post is great.
    Such wisdom,which was always common knowledge since Biblical times before Feminism showed up in the West,causes real mass hysteria(literally).
    Want to know a double-standard!?
    Feminists teach other young women(and even men) to be unapologetically modern/open minded/”don’t pay attention to them you do you”…then turn around,read this and get triggered by such wisdom.?
    Anyways,thank you Mrs.Lori Alexander for your wise words.
    Have A Great Day ahead.
    Take care.?

  5. I humbly admit to being manipulated in relationships with women though I’ve never been married. Purposing from the very beginning to avoid sin, I found myself manipulated into it as a younger man by an older woman professing to be a Christian. I was guilty first of allowing myself to be manipulated, seduced.

    I’ve been manipulated into an engagement in another relationship. Manipulated in various ways in numerous others. Men are weak here and women know it. Christian men need to be taught from the beginning, taught to say NO to women. Christian women need to be taught to submit to Christ first. Exercise self control and stop trying to manipulate men. This is primarily where we have failed. In western society and especially in the church.

    Women are taught that they are good, even in church. It was satan who first told Eve she could be like God! Men are taught women are good and that they are evil. It’s pagan to worship women and it’s nothing new. The Bible teaches us plainly that we are all evil by our very nature. How can Christians be so blind? Our blind leaders are leading the blind. We were even warned this would happen. Deception.

    Isn’t it interesting that this is exactly what happened in the Garden of Eden? It’s the mistake that brought sin into the world and probably the mistake that’s going to bring it to its end.

    Lori, thanks for all you do!

  6. I don’t know what the reputation of a young single Christian woman is – I don’t fall into that demographic. But it’s actually really simple: professing to be a Christian and going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes a car.

    Christian means a follower of Christ. We can’t follow Christ while walking in the other direction. Followers of Christ are obvious by their fruit. If “Christian women” have a certain reputation, they’re clearly not Christian. Men looking for marriage need to leave behind the big, worldly mega-churches and look for the small congregations where Christ still reigns. They’re out there – and there are lovely young single women amongst them.

  7. A woman who does not bring some kind of benefit to a man’s life, instead of manipulation and trouble, is a woman that no man should marry. Unfortunately, nobody can tell what will happen in the next fifty years, so that leaves statistics. I think that probably 60%-80% of men could say in the past (pre-1960), at the end of their lives, that they were satisfied with their marriage. Today, it seems like the odds are more like 20%. It doesn’t make much sense to say to an innocent 20yo girl that you can’t marry her because millions of other women made bad wives in prior years. But, unless that particular girl has something special that makes a man think he can beat the odds, the sensible response is to walk away.

  8. It goes deeper than just depriving outright. Many married women simply don’t put the effort into being attractive to their husbands. They deprive him by letting themselves go, excusing themselves with the feminist talking point that “he should just love me and find me attractive no matter how I look.” They expect their husband to chase them, in spite of visually signalling that she doesn’t want him, the same way he chased her when they were dating and she put an effort into being attractive. These women ignore the fact that men are overwhelmingly visual and that visually attractive femininity is readily available through pornography. The husband has to choose between forcing himself to overcome an unattractive wife on occasion to keep from being totally celibate or turning to sinful options to satisfy his God-given craving for physical beauty. She may not be overtly denying him sexually, but her actions speak louder than words.

  9. Maybe not, but if a woman claims to be a Christian, then she will be judged by that metric/standard, regardless of whether she is sincere or not.

  10. There’s a reasonable and unreasonable expectation of a woman’s weight but this:
    “he should just love me and find me attractive no matter how I look”.

    This is a perfect example of the kind of manipulation most women operate in. Shouldn’t she love her husband more than her appetites? More than the wrong kind of food she continuously brings home to wreck her own health with, the families? Bad choices, emotional eating followed up with a manipulative smoke screen and a reframe of blame.

    These are exactly the kind of games young men need to be warned to recognize early. As it is now, young single men are starting to see women as hopelessly manipulative, conniving and untrustworthy. It’s to the point that they either only want women for one thing or have nothing to do with them at all. Meanwhile, our so called pastors are either obliviously manipulated themselves or running the same kind of games on us from their pulpits.

  11. What church do you go to, that teaches women are good and men are evil?
    I keep reading all these claims about different unscriputural teachings in a “church” and honestly, it just confuses me. The church I go to doesn’t teach any of those things and I don’t understand why any church would. Are they not teaching from the Bible? Do the people who attend not read the Bible themselves and know what it says?
    I’m just trying to get my head around these claims that “churches” are teaching stuff that goes against the Bible. It doesn’t make any sense. Why do people attend churches that do not line up with scripture? There is no point to it.

  12. To be fair though, men are doing the same thing.
    Despite nearly 19 years of marriage and 4 kids, I can still fit into my wedding dress. There were times after each pregnancy that I couldn’t, but I lost that weight quickly and work hard to keep myself in shape.
    But my husband cannot fit the pants he got married in. He doesn’t have a hope of fitting the shirt, and while he can still put the leather jacket on, it no longer meets in the middle.
    I still think he’s the sexiest man alive regardless (he keeps his goatee trimmed just the way I like it and when he chops wood I’m sure I drool) and he has no problem with the way I look (even when I was heavier after pregnancies he never complained).
    But it definitely goes both ways. Women AND men are guilty of letting themselves go once they’re married.

  13. My church does it and its about the most biblical church around. Guys i know have called out certain pastors when they went over the top. Basically claiming premarital sex is 100% mens fault. Since that pastor left it has continued but without a trained ear you wont pick up on it in an hour sermon. And its not every week or month.

    Here is how it goes we all sin, children sin, people sin, men sin. Then they leave it at that. In many years i have yet to hear that a woman sinned. Then you hear about the great things women do and their precious patience with men folk. And it seems minor until the pastor talks about gender roles and says men are the leaders but its best to do what your wife wants. And then women are in total charge.

    Dont get me wrong kakk the church girls all look good on the outside. My church has almost no unattractive women. And they seem nice. But they are sinners and not my master or moral superior. After 60million abortions you would think pastors would get that?

  14. I agree with the 20+/- percent chance of finding a mate. Since 50% of the population has gone extreme liberal, that leaves the other 50% having your same conservative views. Assuming 25% of them are women, these young god fearing men are doomed!

  15. Porn is a choice, and cannot be blamed on the wife…most men go into marriage using it and expect they can get rid of it once they are having sex with their wife..this does not work..they just bring it into the bedroom with them. While I agree with the article, blaming porn usage on wives, not a good idea…

  16. God doesn’t agree with you. “Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” (1 Cor. 7:5) It definitely can push men into porn if a wife is constantly refusing them.

  17. Well, extreme liberal or moderate liberal aren’t really much different in any meaningful way. The percentage of people people in the conservative group who aren’t just slightly behind the times liberals is and are pious Christians is very small. Republican women are every bit as bad and becoming even more feminist the recent ACB fiasco being a prime example. Those women are not Christian wife material.

  18. No doubt this is true, but it’s significantly less damaging to the marriage for a guy to get a little out of shape than for the wife to become overweight, cut her hair off, and start dressing in leggings. A primary reason men get married at all is for the beauty of their woman and few would ever consider spending their life with a woman if he knew she’d let that beauty go. It’s just much less important, within reason of course. No woman is attracted to a fat slob.

  19. Young God fearing men “doomed”? I’m sure you’re exaggerating but I can only hope you are eluding to the doomed fates of those who end up in miserable marriages that some young men won’t be smart enough to avoid. It’s certainly not singleness they fear.

    The fate of many Godly single young men who choose to remain single will be leisure time and money if they want it. The best among us might be missionaries. Others will fill up their garages with motorcycles or fast cars. Some will travel others will invest. Business is good enough for me that I’ve seen days in which my personal income exceeded $3000 pre tax. I own much, free and clear. I have no woman to whom I must grovel and praise “I couldn’t have done it without my wife“ (yawn). I’ve never been married.

    Sure, some young single men are languishing, so are many women. Seems to me though it’s the single women, including the Godly, after 30 that are worried about marriage not the men.

    Have you ever heard a grown man walking around tearfully expressing “I just want to have a baby”? Or “Why don’t women want to commit?” Dating is easy for me. I’ve walked away from several relationships with attractive “Godly” women who just weren’t bringing enough to the table for me to justify marriage to them. It might have made sense in my 20s. After 40? In this society? A genetic legacy in the future of this corrupted world? I hope and pray it works out for others but I’m probably going to have to pass.

  20. That’s not what Sandy said, though. She is talking about men who are already using porn before marriage, and naively think regular sex will end their porn use but that isn’t the case because porn is addictive. Young women should be very wary of marrying men who use porn.

  21. I’m sorry Dominic but your church is NOT the most Biblical one around if it teaches what you claim.
    For starters, men can’t possibly be 100% responsible for premarital sex, because it takes two. Nowhere in the Bible does it say men are to blame for this sin. The Bible makes it clear to both men and women that premarital sex is wrong.

    The church I go to teaches that we all sin, and we can all repent and be forgiven. Men and women both.

    I can honestly only remember one preacher teaching on gender roles in the past few years and the message was simple: women are to submit to their husbands. Husbands can make it easier for their wives to submit to them by treating them kindly, with love, just as the Bible teaches. But regardless, the wife should still be in submission, even if their husband is not treating them kindly. (He also said that the husband should still be treating his wife kindly, no matter how she treats him, but as this is a blog for women, that’s probably not so important).

    That preacher taught how each half of the marriage should be treating each other: with respect and kindness, not as a slave, but helpful and loving. If either spouse was not holding up their end of the bargain then they need to seek the Lord earnestly in prayer and continue to treat their spouse as God commanded, no matter what. The message was to both husbands and wives. There was no suggestion that either one was blameless or “better”. BOTH are responsible for fulfilling the role God made for them.

    The Bible is very clear about how husbands and wives should treat each other. A truly Godly church will use these verses, exactly as they are written, and not twist them.
    One dear old preacher who is dead now (he died at 98, after an entire lifetime of serving the Lord as an unmarried, unpaid, homeless preacher both here in NZ and for 40 years in Pakistan) used to say: “Read what is on the page.” Meaning: don’t twist it around to make it say what you want it to say. Read what is written. Accept it how it is written.

    Nowhere does the Bible say women are morally superior to men. If a church is teaching that they are, then that church is NOT biblical.

    So why would you go to a church whose teachings do not line up with scripture?

  22. Dear Trex, a wife’s weight gain (within reason) is really a side issue, if even that. It’s the abominable butched hair, and the buck-ugly pants that are, in reality, a societal tragedy. Kids grow up thinking that the natural course of womanhood, is devolving into a hag by 30-something.

  23. The Bates and the Duggars I love. I watch very little TV since there is so little worth watching. I will watch an UP channel movie once in awhile. They are decent still.

  24. Is it just me or is this comment thread itself an example of female manipulations? Attempts to dismiss women’s inclinations to allow themselves to become overweight. Trying to excuse it because some men do as well or imply it’s Just not important. That’s ridiculous.

    Then there’s the implications that Lori justifies men’s use of pornography because of sexual denial by their wives. It’s a ridiculous implication. No one here actually believes that she thinks that. Clearly 1 Corinthians 7, if you have a Bible, teaches the married should not to deny their spouses because it creates temptation. She quoted it! A withholding wife is contributing to her husbands sin. BOTH would be guilty here. Even the scripture itself is only pointing out what should be obvious. Everyone here understands that yet some are being argumentatively manipulative.

    Why would single men bother with wives like this? Why? What would any single man, in his right mind, want with an overweight, sexless, manipulative wife? What for?

  25. I’ve been thinking about your comment Sue while working in our shop today. So many women dressed terribly. But the Brethren ladies always look so lovely. No makeup, long hair, skirts, no jewellery, and always friendly and smiling. I’m not a Brethren, but these ladies are sure easy to pick! They stand out (in a good way) and don’t conform to the world in the way they dress.

  26. Amen, Sister!

    God bless you and the work you do on this site. I know I’d be hard-pressed to find the kind of god-centered counsel that you give in your articles and social media accounts.

    Thankfully, there are more and more women seeking after this information as time goes on. Keep fighting the good fight. Godspeed.

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