The Subtle Whoring That Cost Too Much to Be Free
A song called I’ve Never Been to Me was written in 1977 but didn’t become popular until 1982. I remember listening to it when I was young but never paid much attention to the words. Ken randomly began singing this song on our walk the other day and told me how much he loved it when he was a teenager so we listened to the song. When Charlene sang the paragraph that I highlighted in bold below, tears sprung to my eyes. How could I have missed these beautiful lyrics (except for the part about fighting with our husband)?
Hey lady, you, lady, cursin’ at your life
You’re a discontented mother and a regimented wife
I’ve no doubt you dream about the things you’ll never do
But I wish someone had a talked to me like I wanna talk to you
Ooh I’ve been to Georgia and California, oh, anywhere I could run
Took the hand of a preacher man and we made love in the sun
But I ran out of places and friendly faces because I had to be free
I’ve been to paradise, but I’ve never been to me
Please lady, please, lady, don’t just walk away
Cause I have this need to tell you why I’m all alone today
I can see so much of me still living in your eyes
Won’t you share a part of a weary heart that has lived a million lies
Oh I’ve been to Nice and the isle of Greece
While I sipped champagne on a yacht
I moved like Harlow in Monte Carlo and showed ’em what I’ve got
I’ve been undressed by kings and I’ve seen some things
That a woman ain’t s’posed to see
I’ve been to paradise, but I’ve never been to me
Hey, you know what paradise is? It’s a lie. A fantasy we create about
People and places as we’d like them to be. But you know what truth is?
It’s that little baby you’re holding, and it’s that man you fought with
This morning, the same one you’re going to make love with tonight.
That’s truth, that’s love
Sometimes I’ve been to cryin’ for unborn children
That might have made me complete
But I, I took the sweet life and never knew I’d be bitter from the sweet
I spent my life exploring the subtle whoring that cost too much to be free
Hey lady, I’ve been to paradise, but I’ve never been to me
I’ve been to paradise, never been to me
(I’ve been to Georgia and California, and anywhere I could run)
I’ve been to paradise, never been to me
(I’ve been to Nice and the isle of Greece
While I sipped champagne on a yacht)
I’ve been to paradise, never been to me
(I’ve been to cryin’ for unborn children)
Songwriters: Kenneth W Hirsch / Ronald N. Miller
Did anyone even listen to or learn from the lyrics? It’s pretty much what God commands that I teach! The first comment under this video of the song was written by Melody, “I was married for 16 years to my high school sweetie and we had two precious babies. I ended that because I wanted more. I should have been satisfied with what I had. A wonderful family. But, I ran after dreams. That took me nowhere. I long for the other babies that I should have had. So, this song just isn’t about what you think. It’s simple. It about being stupid and running after dreams, when your dreams are right at home.”
God’s ways are truly best. Even honest unbelievers admit to this being true. Way too many women are spending their lives exploring the subtle whoring that cost too much to be free. I am here to try to convince you that your dreams are right at home, dear women.
I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.
1 Timothy 5:14
14 thoughts on “The Subtle Whoring That Cost Too Much to Be Free”
A worldly career will never be the worth of a big and joyous family! And we as women have the privilege of being at the center of it all in raising children and being at home! So sad radical feminism is now telling women the joy and immense honor of motherhood, and being provided for is oppression, and something that’s not enough!
I’ve never heard this song before. So true. I hate the lies of the world that say to find happiness in things which God never said happiness is to be found. I really hate that professed Christians don’t see the value in being a wife and mother and think that a career is just as valuable as raising eternal souls.
I was quite young in the early ’80s but do actually remember this song. However, I wouldn’t have seen the lyrics through a Biblical lens since I was not a Christian then. I’ve not heard it for a very long time, but having read the lyrics above, I can see why they would make you weep, Lori.
Oh, that we women would know and be content with performing our godly duties as wife, mother, and keeper at home! It always goes so much better with us when we obey the Lord. There is a rest and a peace in doing so that cannot be found in anything else. Chasing after dreams and worldly things does not bring satisfaction.
It reminds me of the serpent beguiling Eve, and in her disobedience she circumvented the authority of her husband for something “more” or “better” in that vague place “out there,” and it’s been going on ever since…:-(
You write great stuff! I enjoy reading your posts daily…
There is the idea that somehow any one of us, especially women, can have it all in life. This simply is not true as we all must make choices at various stages of life to be able to live the best life we can live before God. I was at the peak of my career traveling half the year when I realized that my sick wife and children needed me most so I shut down half my business almost overnight. I fell in love with coaching my kids’ basketball, baseball and soccer teams and watching them play. I loved my evenings with them and the pillow fights and bedtime stories.
The six months I expected to slow down turned into a significant overall slowdown in business and I had to watch others take over where I was now unwilling to go. And I live with no regrets. I could not have it all so I chose to try and raise a godly family instead of staying at the top of my field. God was so good to have used Lori’s sickness to help me focus on what was most important in life. It’s not just women who need this focus, but all of us who must realize that the most important things are found in our homes and relationships. It’s worth it all to have the relationship I have now with my wife and children. Be true first to God and His Word and the rest of life God will take care of by giving us, His children, His very best gifts.
We must live with the end in mind. The end comes too soon for all of us, so what do we want to have done in life and who do we want to be surrounded with when it is time to meet our Maker? Most importantly, what kind of fruit in life can we place at the feet of our precious Lord Jesus some day soon?
Oh my goodness, I had completely forgotten about that song. I was a senior in high school when it first came out. It was just a pretty song then, but the lyrics are much more meaningful now. Married to my high school sweetheart, 35 years and two children later, I have found my paradise. Yes, God’s way is the only way.
Wonderful, Anne!
What would you suggest to women whose children are grown up, and no longer at home? Is it appropriate for them to desire more than cleaning a house?
I’ve Never Been to Me.
Some people are so full of rebellion that they just react, they have no idea what they really want, other than to rebel. They want to be free, but they have no idea what they want to do with their freedom, just improbable dreams of having everything fall into place for them. For some people I think there really is no “Me” to go to, there is just ‘situational ethics’ that change with the season, informed by a corrupted culture. They have a fleshly nature that guides them, but they lack their identity in Christ, or any solid fixed identity. They’re not really free, just enslaved(addicted) to their sin and rebellion. Nowadays they can create their own fake identities on social media, and feed off of “Likes”, but that is mostly vanity, and not really their true “Me”.
I’m “Me” almost all the time, and most everywhere I go. It suits me, but other people don’t always like it.
“The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free.” ~Jean Cocteau
Or they want to kill them like they killed Jesus, John the Baptist, and the Prophets who spoke the truth that sets you free.
Ecclesiasticus (Apocrypha)2:1 My son, if thou come to serve the Lord, prepare thy soul for temptation. 2 Set thy heart aright, and constantly endure, and make not haste in time of trouble. 3 Cleave unto him, and depart not away, that thou mayest be increased at thy last end. 4 Whatsoever is brought upon thee take cheerfully, and be patient when thou art changed to a low estate. 5 For gold is tried in the fire, and acceptable men in the furnace of adversity.
You’re doing a good job, Lori. Don’t let the naysayers, rebellious critics, and worldly adversaries discourage you. Feed off of their contempt if you can. Count it all joy that you can suffer for Christ.
“Wherever you see persecution, there is more than a probability that truth lies on the persecuted side.” ~Latimer
“Virtue is persecuted by the wicked more than it is loved by the good.” ~Miguel de Cervantes
We look to get our “Well done” in the eternal life to come. Truth sets people free. Keep sharing it! They can’t get to “Me” if they don’t know who they were created to be. (Genesis 2:18)
I made a video on this topic, Emma!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pfVX3i4dA1Y
Emma, I know you directed your question to Lori, but I hope it’s okay that I answer you, as well. I lost my only baby to a miscarriage and never had more. My family is a dysfunctional mess so there aren’t nieces & nephews around, either. My family is me, my husband, & my doggy. Nearly every person I’ve encountered in the past 20 yrs. has asked, “Why don’t you work?”
If you have the privilege of being able to stay at home, you are soooo lucky. Being a homemaker is so much more than cleaning. That’s such a small part of my day. And I even use that opportunity to thank God and pray. As I clean toilets & sinks, I thank God for the blessing of running water and having it INDOORS. As I fold my husband’s clothes, I pray that God uses them as a shield of protection and a wrap of love. I can use my time for so many things to help make my husband’s life easier. And spending more time with him is a benefit to me! He’s my best friend!
Once my first priorities are taken care of, then I have the time to help others. I work with a quilting group at church. We raise money for church projects like bible study and the city-wide school lunch program. I also hand out those lunches. I make gifts for friends, I make cards for shut ins & fundraisers, & volunteer at church. I hear so many working women at church tell me that they wish they could stay home and volunteer more. And they thank me for doing what they don’t have time for.
Anyway, Emma, the list is ever-changing with the seasons and life. I wouldn’t change anything and I certainly don’t want to answer to another person besides the Lord & my husband. I simply can’t be bothered. Financially, we are probably one kid from qualifying for food stamps (we have none lol), but we’ve always done okay. Not by the world’s standards, but that’s okay with me. I’ve done the work thing with no kids in a place I really enjoyed and only part time. Even so, I always felt pulled from where I belonged. Our lives improved DRASTICALLY when I finally came home for good. There was peace all around. I hope you find that peace and recognize it.
Thank you, Elias. I have been reading through Exodus and came upon this verse this morning: “The LORD shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace” (Ex. 14:14). What peace washes over me when I read this! It is a spiritual battle between good and evil that we are in. I know that I am not anything like Moses but I feel like him in some ways. I am trying to lead a remnant of women away from feminism and its destruction towards biblical womanhood and its goodness. It’s the same with all those who stand up for the truth of God’s Word in this wicked generation.
I’ve been reading through Exodus too and found something else that struck me (Exodus 21:7): “When a man sells his daughter as a slave, she shall not go out as the male slaves do. If she does not please her master, who has designated her for himself, then he shall let her be redeemed. He shall have no right to sell her to a foreign people, since he has broken faith with her. If he designates her for his son, he shall deal with her as with a daughter. If he takes another wife to himself, he shall not diminish her food, her clothing, or her marital rights. And if he does not do these three things for her, she shall go out for nothing, without payment of money.” I guess that’s less than subtle whoring. Wicked times indeed.