Why Men Leave Their Wives After Many Years
Dr. KN Jacob made a video about Seven Reasons Why Men Leave Their Wives After Many Years Together. It was excellent! I am going to summarize his points and add some of my own. I have seen marriages end after many, many years of being together. It harms the adult children just as much as it would have if the parents divorced earlier. Divorce has long-term consequences to the next generations. Women, do all you can to keep your marriages together. Learn from what this man teaches!
#1 Control – Men hate being controlled. The wife always must have the final say, and everyone knows she’s wearing the pants in the home. This is out of order. God designed men to be the ones in control of their families. They are the head over their wives, and the wives are to submit to their husbands in everything, as long as it isn’t against God’s will.
#2 Sexlessness – Sex is a central issue for men. Men NEED sex. (He reiterated this point several times.) Intimacy is the only thing that makes marriage unique. You are the only person your husband can have sex with. Give him sex freely and often, women! God commands you don’t deprive him (1 Corinthians 7:5), so don’t. It’s not worth losing your husband to divorce.
#3 Lack of appreciation – Men can’t stand it when their wives compare them to other men. He will find a way to be appreciated elsewhere. Appreciate your husband. Never compare him to other men. Show him you appreciate him by loving him, by being kind to him, smiling at him often, giving him words of encouragement, and being sexually available to him. Learn what pleases him.
#4 Empty Nest – Children were the glue that kept them together. Many times, he stays for his children. When the children leave, the emptiness of their marriage is exposed, and there’s nothing that holds the marriage together any more. Remember, women, you were created to be his help meet first. Make him and your marriage a priority. Spend time alone together. Don’t spend that time arguing. Learn to listen and have good discussions with him. Make time for him. This is incredibly important!
#5 Extra Marital Affairs – When a wife commits adultery on her husband, her husband knows that his wife submitted to another man. He feels cheated, because it is an external attack on him. Never, ever commit adultery, women. The short-term pleasure will only end in long-term pain. I know women who cheated on their husbands. They never told their husbands, and this was a heavy burden they carried for all of their days. If a husband finds out, he is enraged. It’s NOT worth it, women!
#6 Wife Neglecting Herself – Many wives let themselves go as the years go by. Men are visual, contrary to what women want to believe. There’s no justification for a man leaving in this case or any other, but it’s a fact. Men want their wives to look the best they can look. Now, my husband doesn’t care about fake nails, jewelry, the latest fashion, or any of these kinds of things. He simply wants me to stay in shape, so I try hard to stay in shape by not eating too much and taking a long walk every day. Find out what your husband is attracted to and get to work on doing this for him.
#7 Endless conflicts – It’s the same conflict over and over again. He tires of it and wants out. The Proverbs warns of quarreling and contentious wives. Don’t be one of them! I stopped many years ago, and so can you! Sure, give your opinions, but then let it be. You don’t need the last word, and you don’t need to quarrel with him. Nothing good comes from conflict within your marriage. If there’s something you have argued with him about changing, try giving it to the Lord and living out 1 Peter 3:1,2 instead. God is far more effective at convicting and changing your husband than you are.
Do all that is in your power to keep your husband until death do you part! It is worth the fight.
Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
Proverbs 31:10-12
11 thoughts on “Why Men Leave Their Wives After Many Years”
This was very insightful. I have just turned 18 recently and have always wanted to be a homemaker. My mother isn’t too keen on this, no one in my family is to be honest. You really are so wise and constantly encouraging me to be confident and take pride in the path that God intended for me to walk as expressed in the bible, His divine word.
Thank you very much Mrs. Alexander for being such a motherly figure for myself and, I am sure, many other young women.
Excellent advice! 100% agree.
Thank you, Lori.
I must be doing something right, because next week is our 37th anniversary!
As a 60 year old widower, I have seen these examples in the majority of marriages around me.
Matthew 7:13 KJV says
Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat
Could this not also be applied to a marriage?
The world / Satan tells the wife to take the “wide gate” and follow the “broad way” in her marriage instead of following God’s strait gate to a successful, godly marriage.
I have had two wives. The first one did everything this article said NOT to do, and I paid my quarterly sales tax more often than she allowed me sex. Early Menopause hit, and she abandoned me and my thirteen year old son. Her filling for divorce was the best thing that ever happened to me. I now have a Filipina wife that tries her best to honor the Lord, and honor me in everything she does, going on our twentieth year, Praise God. She is not perfect, just like me, but a pleasure to be married to. I have a lot of work to do today, but just spent all morning with her in bed, and out to McD’s, and garage sailing. I did not divorce the living nightmare that was my first wife, because I did not want to dishonor the Lord. I firmly believe that is why my second wife is such a blessing, because I left it all in God’s hands.
Heed The Transformed Wife’s biblical warning women. If you ignore the advice of this post you will most likely be blindsided when your husband divorces you, no matter how long you have been married.
[Husbands] are the head over their wives, and the wives are to submit to their husbands in everything, as long as it isn’t against God’s will.
That final caveat, alas, is what many Christian wives latch onto like bees to honey, going to extraordinary lengths to try to prove that whatever it is that their husbands want them to do, but that they don’t WANT to do is NOT “God’s will” (as if ANY of us have 100 percent certain knowledge of what “God’s will” is in every mundane situation). In fact, I think the author uses a very poor choice of words here. What she should have said was “contrary to the clear message of Scripture.”
I would be careful about the giving opinion advice. There is a difference between wanted commentary and unwanted commentary. Women tend to struggle with their tongue (talking). A good wife knows when silence is the best option when discussing things with family or husband. Very similar to Socratic debates in ancient Greece there was a lead and everyone else followed the conversation. There were rules when the followers were allowed to give input. marriage should be no different.
Thank you so much Mrs. Lori.
I try to be the woman/ wife the Bible expresses, but sometimes it can be confusing. So thank you for always explaining and holding steady to teaching women to be godly❤️
These 7 things seem to be symptoms of a deeper problem, not the actual problem themselves. In my book “God is a Patriarch,” I discuss how the Bible says that divorce was not intended from the beginning. Yeshua said that Moses added the law of divorce because of the hardness of their hearts. The real cause of divorce is men and women hardening their hearts against Yahweh. They stop loving each other as He commands and they stop submitting themselves to Him.
When a wife hardens her heart and stops obeying her husband, that can lead to divorce. When a husband hardens his heart and stops leading his wife spiritually, that can lead to divorce.
The reason people get divorced is not any of these 7 reasons, the reason is because they harden their hearts against God.
Very good!! I know sex is important, but what if husband is in to porn and want you to act out his fantasies? No one ever talks about this and it is happening all over..It is a real turn off for women but I think there is no teaching on how to respond to this. Thanks for all you do!! Such a blessing to me!