Wives are to Submit to ONE Man

Wives are to Submit to ONE Man

There is a good reason that the Lord commands wives to ask their husbands at home if they have a question concerning something that is said at church or they want the elders to “fix” their husbands. “And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church” (1 Corinthians 14:35). 1 Peter 3:1 is God’s prescription for how wives are to win disobedient husbands. Our husband is the head over us, not our church leaders!

Here is an excellent article written on this subject by Ken Cascio at wickedshepherds.com. He is seeing way too many marriages destroyed because women are going to their elders for advice instead of their husbands.

Ladies, your closeness with your husband means a distance from every man who isn’t, and that ESPECIALLY includes men who claim to be your so-called “spiritual overseers!”

Submitting to your “church leaders” renders it impossible to submit to one’s own husband. Submission to your own husband means faithfulness to him, and to him alone, which means saying “NO” to any other man or group of men who are vying for your submission also!

Dear married sisters in Christ, be not deceived! You owe absolutely no submission WHATSOEVER to those who posture to be your “church leaders.”

There are many cases where a pastor has deliberately placed himself between a husband and wife and used his so-called pastoral authority as a means of manipulating them both into personal loyalty to himself.

If either the husband or wife becomes in any way critical of the church or his ministry, the pastor will “counsel” the other mate (usually the wife) to put pressure on the first one to repent, and if no repentance was to follow, then the next step in counseling would be separation and/or divorce.

This was done on the ground that “your mate’s soul is in danger” because they were daring to question God’s “duly authorized” minister. One dear Christian lady was under such pressure to force her husband to submit to the pastor’s authority that she felt she was being torn in half. She told someone, “I feel like I must choose between the two most important men in my life.”

The person wisely answered, “God never intended you to have two men in your life in any sense where you had to make a choice between them.”

My friend, when loyalty to, or dependence upon, any church or any “church leader” ever comes close to being equal to your loyalty and love to your husband or wife, then you are so sick spiritually that you can’t think straight.

A woman for example, is under no obligation whatsoever to submit to any man except her husband; not to the “head pastor,” or his “fellow elders,” or his clones, or his wannabies, or anybody. The Scripture says, to “their own husbands.”

Some foolish women have been brainwashed into believing that they are supposed to submit to their pastor more than their own husband. This is sinful.

When those in “positions of leadership” in the church, or anyone else, tampers with someone’s marriage… THEY ARE TREADING HOLY GROUND!


But you might say, “How can these things be? How is it possible that husbands and wives have allowed their marriage to be invaded; taken over; and then destroyed by this horrendous practice in church leadership?”

Many of these men that are “exercising the oversight” in the church are professionals and are well experienced in their diabolical schemes. They are able to effectively instill carnal fear in the congregation very rapidly. A simple twisting of Scripture; the pronouncement to “obey your god-given elders”; the waving of their pointed finger in your face along with their raised voices, is all that it takes for many people to succumb to its folly.

Families, and wives in particular, are falsely being taught from many pulpits today that the “eldership” and/or “pastors” have a “supposed” authority and rulership that reaches higher and is even greater than what a husband and father has in the home, especially when it comes to “spiritual matters.”

This is total unbiblical nonsense. And unless many people start to wake up and take notice and learn, many more marriages are going to be destroyed. (You can read the rest of the article HERE)

But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.
Ephesians 5:24

5 thoughts on “Wives are to Submit to ONE Man

  1. This is a genuine question- what about Hebrews 13:17? What’s the difference? I would love to hear your thoughts!

  2. The gist of this article is so right! Church leaders are taking way more power than God has given them.

    If this is indeed happening, then these church “leaders” will have a lot to answer for on the judgement day.

    I actually struggle to find any sympathy for those people who fall for this kind of church, and who continue to attend. Why would *anybody* go to a church with leaders like this? It’s usually not too hard to see the leaders that are all about them, and not about God.

    The Bible is very clear about churches, and it’s actually not all that difficult to look at a church and see if it’s true to the Bible or not. If someone sees things that aren’t right, yet continue to go anyway, they have no one to blame but themselves when this sort of thing happens.
    Why, why, why do people keep on going to a church that isn’t “right”?

    When my husband and I were separated, the church was amazing at supporting me (hubby wasn’t part of the church at that time) and encouraging me to reconcile with him. At no time is submission to the elders ever wanted, and problems are handled in such a way that inadvertent submission to the elders could never happen.

    I really hope the writer of this article is able to spread his message far and wide. It is so true.

  3. Yes, we are to submit to our church leaders but our husband is HEAD over us. We are commanded to obey him, submit ourselves to him in everything, and reverence him. The church leaders don’t have authority over our husbands concerning us as some seem to think they do. This verse in Hebrews is stated one time, whereas the relationship between a husband and a wife is stated multiple times to show us the importance of our role in marriage as being one flesh.

  4. Your statement,” The church leaders don’t have authority over our husbands concerning us” answers my question perfectly. Thanks, Lori!

  5. While you are on the subject of pastors overstepping their bounds in relation to husbands and wives, I point out below many scriptures of the anger God has at His shepherds, and why they should be highly critiqued.

    And I note that the church as we have known it for 500 years, with the steeple and the fulltime paid pastor, is going away [note the sliding theology of the Episcopal, Methodist, Presbyterian, and now the Southern Baptist, all formally forsaking scripture]. This former church, in Stage 4 cancer, is being replaced by the individual man – husbands—reading scripture for themselves, then, as iron sharpening iron, leading the church as true brethren into maturity, in preparation for the coming persecution, unlike any we have seen or really imagined. This is His new church, His kingdom …of His Word, not of the man-made organization that ‘evolved’ from the consensus of man.

    “Priests have profaned the sanctuary, they have done violence to the law” Zeph 3:4.

    “I am against the shepherds, and I will require My flock at their hand, and cause them to cease feeding the flock; neither shall the shepherds feed themselves anymore” Ezek 34:10. “Thus saith the Lord God: Behold, I am against the shepherds, and I will require my flock at their hand, and cause them to cease feeding the flock; neither shall the shepherds feed themselves anymore; for I will deliver my flock from their mouth, that they may not be meat for them” Ezekiel 34:10.

    “If they speak not according to this word, it is because there is no light in them.” Isaiah 8:20.

    “Woe be unto the pastors that destroy and scatter the sheep of my pasture! saith the LORD” Jer 23:1.

    “And now, O ye priests …because ye do not lay it to heart …behold, I will …spread dung upon your faces” Malachi 2:1-3.

    The church leaders “speak evil of those things which they know not” Jude 10. “Woe unto them …in your feasts of charity …feeding themselves without fear [of God], clouds …without water …trees …without fruit …foaming out their own shame …their mouth speaketh great swelling words, having men’s persons in admiration because of advantage …who separate themselves [from God], sensual, having not the spirit” Jude 11-19.

    ”For they that are such serve not our Lord Jesus Christ, but their own belly, and by good words and fair speeches deceive the hearts of the simple” Rom 16:18.

    “I beseech you, brethren, mark them which cause division and offences contrary to the doctrine which ye have learned, and avoid them” Rom 16:17.

    “False prophets …bring in damnable heresies …the way of truth shall be evil spoken of …their damnation slumbereth not” 2 Pet 2:1-3.

    “Some having …vain janglings, desiring to be teachers of the law, understanding neither what they say nor whereof they affirm” 1 Tim 1:6+

    “There is a conspiracy of [the] prophets in the midst thereof …they have devoured souls …they have made [them] many widows in the midst thereof. [The] priests have violated My law and have profaned mine holy things; they have put no difference between the holy and the profane …and I am profaned among them” Ezek 22:25-26.

    False prophets: “…vanity and lying divination, saying ‘The Lord saith’ …’Behold, I am against you’ saith the Lord” Ezek 13:6-8.

    “For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine, but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers , having itching ears; and they shall turn away their ears from the truth, and shall be turned unto fables” 2 Tim 4:3-4.

    “Make not My Father’s house a house of merchandise” in John 2:16?

    ”Oh, My people, they which lead thee cause thee to err and destroy the way of thy paths …children are their oppressors and women rule over them” Isaiah 3:12

    “I have heard what the prophets said, that prophesy lies in my name …yea, they are prophets of deceit of their own heart, which seek to cause my people to forget My name…I sent them not …they prophesy unto you a false vision …a thing of nought.” Jeremiah 23:25-27+14:14.

    “His watchmen are blind, they are all ignorant, they are all dumb dogs, they cannot bark; sleeping, lying down, loving to slumber [ease]” Isaiah 56:10, “…shepherds that cannot understand; they all look to their own way, everyone for his gain” v11.

    “For there are many unruly and vain talkers and deceivers, specially they of the circumcision: WHOSE MOUTHS MUST BE STOPPED, WHO SUBVERT WHOLE HOUSES, teaching things which they ought not, for filthy lucre’s sake … Not giving heed to Jewish fables, and commandments of men, that turn from the truth ….” Titus 1 + 2.

    “Cunningly devised fables.” 2 Peter 1:16.

    “Many pastors have destroyed my vineyard, they have trodden my portion under foot, they have made my pleasant portion a desolate wilderness” Jeremiah 12:10.

    “For the pastors are become brutish and have not sought the Lord; therefore they shall not prosper and all their flocks shall be scattered” Jer10:21.

    “Many prophets and righteous men have desired to see …and have not seen” Matt 13:17. Why? “For this people’s heart is waxed gross, and their ears of dull of hearing” v15

    1 TIMOTHY 4 1 …in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to…doctrines of devils; 2 Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron [lie to self]…; 7 But refuse profane [against God] and old wives’ fables

    1 TIMOTHY 1 3 …charge some that they teach no other doctrine, 4 Neither give heed to fables… which minister questions [confusion] 6 From which some …have turned aside unto vain jangling; 7 Desiring to be teachers of the law; understanding neither what they say, nor whereof they affirm…
    Take heed therefore unto yourselves, and to all the flock …of your own selves shall men arise, speaking perverse things, to draw away disciples after them” Acts 20:30.

    “However we speak wisdom among those who are mature, yet not the wisdom of this age, nor of the rulers of this age, who are coming to nothing” 1 Cor 2:6 NKJV

    “My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge: because thou hast rejected knowledge, I will also reject thee, that thou shalt be no priest to me: seeing thou hast forgotten the law of thy God” Hosea 4:6

    “That this is a rebellious people, lying children, children that will not hear the law of the Lord: which say to the seers, see not; and to the prophets, prophesy not unto us right things, speak unto us smooth things, prophesy deceits: get you out of the way, turn aside out of the path, cause the Holy one of Israel to cease before us.” Isaiah 30: 9-11

    “Why do ye also transgress the commandments of God by your traditions? …thus have ye made the commandments of God of none effect ….but in vain do they worship Me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men …but their heart is far from Me” Matt 15:3+6+9+8.

    “Hear the word of the Lord ye scornful men that rule His people … because ye have said ‘We have made a covenant with death, and with Hell we are at agreement …the overflowing scourge …shall not come to us’: for we have made lies our refuge, and under falsehood have we hid ourselves” Isaiah 28:15.

    ”Even now are there many antichrists” 1 John 2:18.

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