Men Are Battered For Being Sexual Beings

Men Are Battered For Being Sexual Beings

Written By Anonymous

Thank you for this article Sex is Basic to Marriage. Thoughts on two points immediately come to mind:

“When wives deprive their husbands, they are opening up their husbands to be tempted by Satan. This is not good at all! We are to do nothing to cause our brothers to stumble, no, not even our husbands.”

This is so true. However, the modern husband is expected to “suck it up.” “Be a man and serve your wife,” etc. It’s as if God’s design for the husband’s desire of his wife was an error that needs to be suppressed. I’d give a million bucks to not just have sex with my wife on a regular basis, but to have her understand that my desire for her is not a perversion. I’m not “sick in the head” for wanting my wife. I’m not a pervert for desiring her. There’s nothing wrong with me for thinking she’s sexy. Or is there? Maybe I’m missing something and God’s design is faulty. I just want to be desired by her.

“Most husbands probably tell their wives how much they want sex but not to the extent since they know how their wives will respond. More rejection. This is why God commands older women to teach younger women to love their husbands which includes satisfying them sexually.”

The rejection is torture. Plain and simple. I believe that a big part of the problem, at least in Christian homes, can be laid at the feet of the church. Women, do any of your women’s lunches, special speakers, etc. discuss the importance of sex with your husbands? Do they discuss the importance of husbands, or are husbands trampled on as ignorant cave men completely out of touch with today’s refined woman? It seems that the latter is the norm of sinful society. I hope it’s not the norm for church meetings.

Ladies’ groups appear to be all about boosting a women’s self-esteem. “Look at yourself through God’s eyes.” “How is your relationship with God today?” At least, that’s how it looks from the advertisements in the church lobby.

Men get battered over the head in our groups for being sexual beings, do women hear any similar straight talk about your role for your husbands? I’ve been in church a loooong time, and I can’t think of one time I’ve ever heard a sermon putting any responsibility on the wife in this manner. It’s as if the Song of Solomon was never written.

Ladies, you want a different husband? Desire him. Love him. You probably don’t have to have sex every time, but let him look at you, touch you, etc. Let him know he’s not a pervert for desiring you. Let him know he’s not broken for wanting you. Uplift him. He’s only human…just like you. You’ll change his life. I promise. If you don’t do that, the consequences will be your responsibility.

Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
1 Corinthians 7:5

18 thoughts on “Men Are Battered For Being Sexual Beings

  1. Thanks, Lori, for addressing the issues that are so often overlooked in the church. Recently I remembered trying to teach a younger woman about the importance of loving our husband and making sure we are rested enough to satisfy them. At the time she was very overwhelmed with an activity-filled life at church and with homeschooling. I think so many women are people pleasers instead of first being husband pleasers!🤔 Meeting the needs of our husbands is OUR ministry. It requires time, energy, and heartfelt desire to please the one God has given us.😍💕❤️

      1. Most diffently show your husband love and respect. Do not be in denial with your husband. You never tell your husband NO when he wants to have sex.

  2. Our church teaches that both women & men are sexual beings and the importance of sex for both in the marriage so yes, they cover it all very well. 🙂

      1. We are very blessed to be in a church that teaches women are just as sexual as men. Marriages in our church circle are much stronger for it.

        1. Yes, just as sexual, but are they teaching them that being unavailable is a form of refusal? Are they telling women that breaking the command of 1 Cor: 7:5 is a sin? Are they being told that if they do deprive their husbands that it leads them into temptation and leading anyone into temptation is so sinful that it is better that you not be born? That they are sinning against God by doing this?

          I didn’t think so.

  3. Thank you for the article. While men are trodded down on and treated as perverts for wanting sex with their wives there are women like me that have it in reverse. I am the one that is constantly trying to get sex and being rejected. I am told that is all that I think about and that there is more to a marriage. Yes, there should definitely be more than just sex, but that should be a regular and consistent thing too in a Good honoring marriage. Women like me are over looked and have no one to turn to to talk about this with. Praise God that he hears us when we tell Him.

    1. Hi Kimberly!

      A few weeks ago, in total despair after being regularly rejected when wanting sex for 4 years, I asked my dear husband to exercice at least 3 times a week, because it causes him to be more responsive when I want sex. He wants sex when we are on vacation though, because he hasn’t that much to worry about work.

      I think he really saw my despair and really wants to please me in this aspect of our marriage. He also went back to his exercising!

      But yes, being rejected when wanting sex is very very hard, I understand you very well…

  4. I’ve been struggling with this a lot and have been so convicted about this in my marriage. Thank you for this post Lori. You’re the biblical mother I’ve always needed!! Always addressing the hard stuff. I just bought your book and can’t wait to start reading it!

  5. I have had the sad misfortune of hearing older women in the church belittle their husbands for wanting sex,food,etc. in the womens group meetings. even as a young girl I instinctively knew this was wrong. in my own life, I very rarely say no to my husband. he knows if I do say no that I truly don’t feel well and he wants to help. sex is very important in marriage, and I have seen the bad effects of women rejecting and then bashing their husbands in some of these so called womens groups in churches.

  6. “This is so true. However, the modern husband is expected to “suck it up.” “Be a man and serve your wife,” etc. It’s as if God’s design for the husband’s desire of his wife was an error that needs to be suppressed. I’d give a million bucks to not just have sex with my wife on a regular basis, but to have her understand that my desire for her is not a perversion. I’m not “sick in the head” for wanting my wife. I’m not a pervert for desiring her. There’s nothing wrong with me for thinking she’s sexy. Or is there? Maybe I’m missing something and God’s design is faulty. I just want to be desired by heris is so true. However, the modern husband is expected to “suck it up.” “Be a man and serve your wife,” etc. It’s as if God’s design for the husband’s desire of his wife was an error that needs to be suppressed. I’d give a million bucks to not just have sex with my wife on a regular basis, but to have her understand that my desire for her is not a perversion. I’m not “sick in the head” for wanting my wife. I’m not a pervert for desiring her. There’s nothing wrong with me for thinking she’s sexy. Or is there? Maybe I’m missing something and God’s design is faulty. I just want to be desired by her”
    I could have written the above statement. Today is my 38th wedding anniversary but it has been mostly 38 years of being a roommate. My wife has had sex with me maybe 20 times in all those years, I have slept in a separate room as well because ” you’re too restless a sleeper and I need my rest”. Over the years I have talked to 4 different pastors about this and their advice has been a kinder version of “suck it up” . Not one has ever called my wife on the carpet for her sin. The church has failed us big time.

      1. I have shown her other articles that Lori has written on this subject to no effect. Her heart is so hardened on this that it will take a revelation from the Holy Spirit to change. It is too bad that there are few if any preachers to speak to this sin anymore.

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