Women Now Living Simply at Home
“Women should be required to stay home permanently after this. Give their jobs, that they now don’t have, to some fathers and husbands who need them. God finally forced what is natural because women won’t choose to do it. And they are all finding out they don’t HAVE to work. Yank the money away and they are still surviving on one income. No more excuses.”
This was a comment from a man on my Facebook page. His comment has a LOT of truth to it. No, I don’t believe women should be required to stay home permanently. but it is God’s will for women to be keepers at home. Free governments can’t force these things upon their people and should not, but women being home full time is sure what is best for marriages, families, and culture.
Now that many women are home full time, they are learning to bake bread, cook from scratch, sew, cut their husbands’ and sons’ hair, and not waste food. They’re wearing fewer clothes and less to no makeup. They’re not getting their hair cut and dyed or their nails done. They’re learning to garden and take care of their yards. They’re cleaning their own homes. Many are even teaching their own children. They are learning to live simply and frugally at home. These are all GREAT things!
Being truthful, women in the workforce ARE taking jobs away from men. God created men to be the providers not women. There is very little good that has come from women entering the workforce, only harm. They are out of their God-ordained roles and only chaos comes from this. God is a God of order. His ways create order.
Undoubtedly, people will ask about widows, single mothers, and single women. Concerning widows, I will just tell you what the Bible says. The younger widows are to marry, bear children, and guide the home (1 Timothy 5:14). Older widows are to be taken care of by their families and relatives. If they have no families and relatives, the churches are to care for them.
What about single unmarried women? Bloom where you’re planted. Become domestic, home centered, and hospitable as much as you can. Help those in need. Serve others. Enjoy your family and community by being productive and fruitful right where you are. Grow spiritually. Never feel guilty for wanting to be married. Give those desires of being a wife and mother to the Lord. Find ways to make money with domestic skills such as cooking, catering, and decorating. Use your time wisely.
What about single divorced mothers? If your ex-husband isn’t remarried, do what you can to win him back especially if you were the one to divorce him simply because you weren’t “happy.” This would be the best case scenario. If he is remarried and he divorced you, I believe you are free to marry. But in the meantime, seek the Lord in prayer and ask Him to make a way for you to be home with your children. They need and want you! There are many ways to make money from home these days.
She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
Proverbs 31:27
37 thoughts on “Women Now Living Simply at Home”
I would love to stay at home but I fear that I am not made for it. I’m very intelligent and it’s something my husband and I get into fights about on a nearly daily basis (because he sees himself as the head of the household and therefore believes that I should generally follow his lead and opinion rather than having my own. He generally believes men are smarter than women always, and it’s one of the most difficult parts of my relationship because I know God wants wives to submit but I can’t agree with him on this as an academically inclined woman). We are expecting our first child. And I know God calls women to stay at home. But I have no homemaking skills, little empathy, no patience for homeschooling, and no patience for teaching or working with people at church.I need to be active academically and intellectualy, and not just in the sense of homeschooling, working in the community or offering tricks for the house or wisdom for my husband. I have a bachelors degree in biology and could do a masters in science this fall. I have a large inner conflict with myself because God tells me one thing but my heart tells me another. Why would God make a woman with my intelligence that can’t handle being at home if all women should be homemakers? Why does the Bible say that women should follow men and not teach in the church, even though some women, like me, have far more clever ideas. Am i ruining my intelligence if I stay at home, did God give me a talent just so I could not use it? What if I suddenly become less clever because I am at home and not studying? I am conflicted between talent and God and I don’t know how to make a choice that would benefit everyone and stay true to my faith.
I do hope that this time gives the moms that can stay at home the desire to stay home where they belong and not return to work after all this is over.
I don’t want to be a killer of hope but I know for a fact that there are some moms going crazy because they are having to care for their children, husband and home twenty-four/seven right now and they have no clue how to do it. They have gone from never being with their children to always being with them.
I live in South East U.S. And I saw a story on my local news about a group of moms taking to social media to vent about how they do not know how to manage their children. They cry and gripe on social media with each other and anyone who will listen. They have resorted to wanting people to give them advice on how to “manage” their own flesh and blood.So sad that they have no true clue of what to do, nor do these moms really want to do it.
This reminds me of the short story from 1926 called When Queens Ride By from Agnes Turnball.
It seems like every generation has to relearn these truths.
Being wives and mothers are lost arts today in the feminist culture. It’s very sad and in times like these, we can see how important these roles are for families.
Do you care more about what God calls you to do and the lives of your husband and child or more about what you want and what you think is best?
Why don’t you use you’re intelligence to excell in the home? Why does it have to be in the workforce? Patience is a character trait. Character is something that is developed through trial and error. It’s not a matter of you either have it or you don’t. You may be smarter than you’re husband in the academic realm. But you lack in the biblical realm. Submission will feel awkward at first. But surround yourself with women and resources that will help you cultivate the right mindset. Be in the word and prayer daily and ask God to help you in that area. All the degrees in the world won’t fix a broken marriage and a wayward child because mum was never there and dad wasn’t appreciated.
Homeschooling is very rare in Europe and we have not done it before (although we were considering doing so for our daughters). This crisis has forced millions of families to homeschool and especially mothers to return home. Maybe this will change many families for the good and bring them closer to God.
Marriage roles and how the household would be ran should of been discussed before marriage it would of saved a lot of drama. Its awesome you’re educated. You can use your skills but at home. Maybe ask your husband if working part time at home would be ok. The proverbs 31 woman worked a little but she but her husband and home first. Its literally impossible for a woman to work full time, take care of the home, take care of her husband, and the kids. Maybe working an online business might be ok? Just talk to your husband and see your options.
I do all those things you listed anyway, and more. We live extremely frugally, which is lucky, because right now, we have no income at all. Because the entire of New Zealand is in complete lockdown for at least 4 weeks, our shop had to close. Even before that, it was pretty quiet because people were staying home to avoid getting sick.
Once the lockdown finishes, I will likely have to get a job to support our family, as it will be a long time before lives will go back to normal enough for our shop to be able to support us again.
Let’s pray so, Susanne!
Love love love that story!!
Hi Fern!
Have that precious baby and see if your perspective does not radically change when you are holding that precious life in your arms. We know many highly educated, super intelligent women, even with bio degrees, who once they had a child began to see God’s best was for their best too. Wait and see with an open heart.
And stop fighting with your man. You can be right… and smarter and if you are you will find a way to express yourself clearly without arguing. My brilliant wife did :). And don’t assume her does not have your best interests at heart… he most likely does if he chose you fora lifetime.
Too bad KAK! This virus is causing problems everywhere. We do what we have to do to get by until God shows us the better way. I hope you will be back to the shop sooner than you think.
Fern, I would encourage you to pray for the Lord to change your heart. You will be so blessed by staying home with your baby. God doesn’t care about how smart you are, He cares about obeying Him.
This virus caused me to make homemade pizza for the first time! No more pizza take out for me! It was delicious:)
How long have you felt this way? It seems like your husband may think you’ve given him the bait and switch. If you know that you should submit to your husband but don’t want to, why did you get married? Or, at the very least, why did you marry a man who you feel is not as smart as you? I have a good friend who knew she didn’t want to submit to a man since she was a teenager. She is nearing 50 now and still single because of that one reason. Nonetheless, now that you are married and know God’s will it would bode best for you if you do it.
Here’s a truth. God can accomplish his purposes through anyone, regardless of their intelligence. Knowing the Old Testament illustrates this well. Your high intelligence compared to the average intelligence is not that great a difference compared to your intelligence compared to God’s. We’re all painfully limited compared to him but yet he is still able to work through us. Regardless of our intelligence or lack thereof, it will go well with us if we submit to the order God established for us. Remember he is way smarter than any of us and if he says this is the way to go, you would be a fool to ignore it and instead consider yourself smarter than God.
Fern, I think the 2016 book Eve in Exile by Rebekah Merkle would be very beneficial for you to read.
It is written at the college level and answers in depth the questions you have asked.
So very true.
@Fern
There’s a verse that has always struck me when it comes to submission, “But we see Jesus, who was made a little lower than the angels… (Hebrews 2:9)”
A woman with great academic accomplishments who struggles to submit to her less intelligent husband can look to Jesus, “for we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin” (Hebrews 4:15). Jesus was/is the Creator of heaven and earth (John 1:1-3, John 14)! Literally He created the angels who ministered unto him (Matt 4:11), the fallen angel who tempted him (Matt 4:3), the woman who bore his flesh (Matt 1:18), the disciples who doubted him (Matt 8:26, 27), the people who accused him (Luke 23:21-24), the tree that he was nailed to (John 19:17), the blood that was spilt (Hebrews 9:14), the VERY thorns that formed his crown (John 19:2)! I dare you to name a person who was more tempted to show off their superiority, their intelligence, their creativity, and their glory, more than Jesus Christ! And yet, he was made a little lower than the angels. Sister, Jesus knows EXACTLY how you feel, and He will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able (1 Corinthians 10:13). The Bible says, “But he that is greatest among you shall be your servant” (Matt 23:11). Jesus, Himself, washed the dirty feet of His disciples, Judas included (John 13:3-5)! They were not worthy of that! John the Baptist straight up said, ” (his) shoe’s latchet I am not worthy to unloose” (John 1:27); yet Jesus, being the Creator, was washing the feet of fishermen (among other occupations)! Sister, to put it plainly, you’ve got to deny yourself (Luke 9:23). The Bible says, “I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me . . . ” (Galatians 2:20). Seek the Lord in prayer that he would humble you to be like Jesus. I challenge you, the next time your husband comes home with stinky feet, to wash them for him. “If I then, your Lord and Master, have washed your feet; ye also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I have given you an example, that ye should do as I have done to you” (John 13:14).
I have been a homemaker for the past couple of years, with my family as a priority, earning additional income as a tutor and cultivating illustration as a pure hobby, even though I could have worked outside of the home without problems with my education.
Now I see my high school female friends locked down in quarantine camps “serving” as medical doctors, to the detriment of the people trapped there (this is Eastern Europe and the virus situation is misused to harm political opponents, this is not like in the US). Leaving their small children at home, whereas some righteous men have declined their service. It is easier to control women and make them do what the government wants.
It is a sad situation.
Fern,
My wife is also very intelligent. She makes wise decisions and gives Godly advice to me. As a husband who wants God’s best for my family, I take her advice seriously. She has also been a stay at home mom for over 27 years now. It has not hindered her intelligence but shaped how she uses the intellect God has given her. As one completing his second masters this year, please don’t think education and intelligence is the same thing. The more educated I have become, the more I simply realize how much I don’t know and realize that really anyone with motivation can accomplish advanced degrees, though that is not to say it is not an accomplishment to be proud of doing.
You state that you know God commands you to submit to your husband, so I must ask if you trust God in all of His ways? If so, don’t submit because your husband is brilliant or because he knows best. Submit because our loving God wants His best for your life. He loves you so much that He has set His plan in scripture to give you a more satisfying life than you can have any other way. I get how you feel, but know that God’s plan is to fulfill your life with joy that is more incredible than our logically minded thoughts can grasp.
Hi Fern, first of all, congratulations on the news of your pregnancy! I pray you will have a healthy pregnancy and delivery. Second, I too have been considered intelligent by many people (though honestly, the more I learn, the more I find out how much I don’t know). I will be graduating later this year, Lord willing, with a bachelor’s degree in biochemistry. That means I had to take two semesters in organic chemistry and many upper level classes in biochemistry, disease mechanisms, physics, etc. So, believe me, I get where you are coming from. I love intellectual stimulation too. However, I have never found that the home restricts my intelligence in any way. For one thing, I find it most advantageous to study at home at my own pace and whatever subject strikes my fancy. Personally, I love having the control over my own education like that. It takes discipline to guide your own education, which I suspect you may already have. Also, with computers, working from home is easier now than ever. There are job search engines out there that only post remote or partially remote work. Flexjobs is one. It might be worth checking out. There are plenty of biology and biochemistry jobs for qualified candidates. Plus, that is what everyone is doing right now anyway with all the craziness. People very often assume nothing meaningful can be done from home. Don’t believe that for a minute. God would not have called us to the home if it was not a meaningful place. Remember, He is the One who made us intelligent in the first place. Also, remember that raising children is meaningful work as well. You are training up the next generation in the fear and admonition of the Lord. This requires a lot wisdom, which the Lord is more than willing to supply to all who ask (James 1:5). People demean motherhood today as beneath a woman’s intelligence, but it simply is not true. I pray God will give you His wisdom to know how to carry out His will. Believe me, you do not want to miss out on being with your precious baby. It will be so worth all the sacrifices you would make. Blessings.
Fern,
I’m not going to say that I understand your struggle, because I do not. I have never been the smart one. I beg of you though, use your gift for your home. You can do so much with it. Patience, empathy. It can be learned. There are so many times though, that I wish I was more intelligent. I have no problem submitting, because I am sure what my husband wants is a better idea than I’d have but I am afraid I cannot offer my husband advice, that my children will not do well if I homeschool them. These are all things you could do so well. Why is the only place to use your talents in the world outside? Why can’t you use them to make your home a better place.
May I ask if you have any advice for wives whose husbands are now working from home? My husband is in this situation, and I’m trying to make the transition as comfortable as possible for him. I bring him tea and a cooked lunch to his study as he is working, and keep the children downstairs and quiet so as not to distract him. Is there anything else you recommend to serve him at home?
It sounds like you are doing an excellent joy, Mrs. Lacy!
Seems like you’re doing a great job maybe ask him what he needs? Every husband is different.
My brother is very intelligent, particularly in regards to math. He’s had multiple teachers say his understanding of mathematical concepts is the best they’ve ever seen. He certainly has reason to brag about his intelligence, but he was called to be a minister. Now, he studies the Bible deeply, he spends time learning “basic” skills to repair church buildings, and most importantly, God has put a great love and care in his heart for His flock. My brother is not ruining his intelligence, or wasting his gift. His time here on this earth is being spent wisely in serving God. I’m sure he is often the most intelligent person in the room, but he still learns things from others – no one knows everything, or has all the solutions.
You can always spend time studying topics you’re interested in. Work and formal school are not the only places to find “intellectual stimulation,” unless you are unable to practice self discipline. You’ll be able to access all kinds of interesting books and journal articles at libraries, and depending on what kind of biology you’re interested in, you can study, observe, and experiment on your own. Presumably you have friends in the biology field you can email or call.
As for patience and empathy, frankly this is something to be worked on. II Peter 2:5-7 includes patience and brotherly kindness in the list of virtues to be added diligently. Intelligence is a useful gift, but not the only gift, no one knows everything. You don’t want to view those in your church, or your spouse, with contempt because you feel you’re smarter than they are. This may be why your husband doesn’t want to hear your opinion – I wouldn’t want to hear from someone who views me with contempt and thinks they always know better than me either.
Hi there.
For years I have been listening to a pastor called David Pawsons. I like his style of preaching as I find it easy to understand.
I recall one of his sermons stating that a marriage can not work as a democracy as you have only two voters. This does not mean it should become a dictatorship but rather a partnership.
There is a lot of truth to that.
A while back my wife and I had our fair share of clashes and it always boiled down to the same thing. I wanted more intimacy and she (running the home) felt there where too many things that needed doing so my needs would simply have to wait. I once sat her down and honestly said from the heart that I did not want to cheat on her as I have noticed the longer she would make me wait the more my eye would start to wonder towards other women. (I never acted on it but feared give it long enough I would find myself in a position where I would be tempted). To my surprise at the time she listened. In hindsight since that day, she has fulfilled my needs and fixed our marriage. I praise God as she had to compromise and do this for the sake of her husband initially until now where its just part and parcel of our marriage.
We now have a strong marriage where even our children (4, two boys two girls) all see and even comment how in love with each other we seem to be.
With regards to submission I readily admit that my wife is better than me at many things around the house but we made a concision decision many years ago, even before marriage and children. We decided once children come along I should be the provider and her the head of the household. Our thoughts at the time was (she was in early years development and worked with kids) why should we both work only for the majority of her wage to go for childcare?
When we met I was a university student and she was working full time.
Once I graduated I found a job and was on less than her but over the years my wages grew so much (thank God) that I earn more than twice our combined income at the time. As a result we have been able to have her full time with the kids and me work full time.
I have a little side business in addition to my work which she helps with and I dont look at money as mine but rather for the family. If she needs anything then all she has to do is ask. I do try and convince her when I disagree and have the final say when it comes to somethings, for example we have Gunea Pigs and the kids wanted cats and dogs where as I thought its too much additional work.
Marriage works best when one of the parties are in charge. Both tend to hate it when its the woman in charge (even women admit to not wanting to be the boss and look down at men who are subservient to them) so why not let him lead and help him? After all you are both on the same team.
Finally, biblically speaking why should a woman want to take on Adams curse (hard labor) if she doesnt have to? Also remember what was Eves curse? She would want to control her husband but the husband would have authority over her.
All the best and keep the articles coming.
Great comment M!
God is smarter than all of us, and if says this and that, best to listen!
Well said!
Thank you for this recommendation. I found it online and printed it out. It was awesome! And very encouraging and thought-provoking.
I bet you are doing this already, but I would say get dressed every day. I don’t think it is a good idea for any of us to be in our sweats or pajamas all day and I have seen a lot of people mention not getting out of their pajamas because they “aren’t going anywhere anyways”. I am guessing that you aren’t like this. That you get dressed every day and fix your hair and make up a little. I think it would be discouraging to see one’s spouse constantly looking terrible.
This makes so much sense and really hits home with me. I was raised in a household where my mom stayed home, and it was wonderful. My Dad led the household and we couldn’t have asked for more. Sadly, we lost him last March, and mom and I have been so broken. I miss my Dad and what we used to have.
I will say this; I’m a stay at home mom and I homeschool my teenager. We also belong to a wonderful homeschool co-op of about 300 kids. I am able to put my intelligence and college degree into action by teaching other homeschoolers a few days a week. It’s great because my teen is taking classes at the same time, so I’m at home every other day, and every day by 2 pm. I still care for my family and my home, and am also fulfilled while serving others.
My point is this: you can bloom where you are planted. I believe you can be called to more than one thing in your life. Just follow your heart AND your beliefs, and look for the small hints being given to you!
When my baby was born, everything changed. The light in my baby’s face changed everything. Don’t doubt your abilities! It’s the love you have for this baby that will be of most importance, not your cooking or cleaning!
Yes this reply!! Thanks Ken!
I have my degrees. I was raised by a feminist mother. I came into marriage with little to no home making skills and zero understanding of submission.
My baby was on a day care wait list even before she was born to ensure I would be able to go back to my well paying career.
And the first time I laid eyes on her and held her my whole world changed.
The degrees didn’t matter, my career didn’t matter, climbing up the corporate ladder didn’t matter. It all didn’t matter. Because I realized when I am on my death bed in my old age, will my intellect, career, money, bosses, pay stubs, be holding my hand? No, but my family will. And THAT is what truly matters.
I love being a homemaker, mother, wife, it really is the biggest honour! You will find that there is no bigger blessing or satisfaction than laying your life down and your “career aspirations” for your family.
Fern, I know you know what God is pulling your heart towards. Listen to that voice.
I just unfollowed a social media account of two mothers who have thousands and thousands of followers. They are popular because they are funny but their humour is all about making fun of their husbands and families and griping and whining about motherhood. The best part of their day is their wine at the end of their day.
So sad.
My husband and I have been married nearly 24 years. He is a very intelligent man and I’m, well, I’m average smart, I guess. Today we were putting together a box spring and I just couldn’t get the instructions. At one point I told him “I guess I am too dumb to understand them.” He replied, ‘That’s okay, I don’t mind when you are dumb, it’s endearing. It’s better than when you think you know it all. I like it better.” I was a bit shocked but not at all offended because I understand what he was trying to convey. Men want to be able to protect, provide and put together the box spring. It is the responsibility given to him by God and every time I try to jump in front of him and be smarter, stronger and overall better then he feels slighted, like I am jockeying for his position. I was raised by a single, independent woman, so marriage has been a struggle for me. But, I keep plugging along trying to keep my big mouth shut and give my husband the respect he deserves and stay in the position God appointed me to. I love this blog! Thank you for sharing with us!
Hi,
Thank you for this post.
I am a mom with 5 kids and 4 have a handicap.
I have to take care of them day and night.
Its my job.
In my country church is not helping at all .
I have homeschooled my oldest daughter.
The rest are to handicapt.
I still trust in the Lord but am sad that church points out for help to the government instead of helping.
These are sad and lonely days…
My strength comes from the Lord.
Thank you for all of your post.
It gives me courage!