Working Once the Children are in School Full Time

Working Once the Children are in School Full Time

Women have often asked me if it’s okay for women to work full time once their children are in school all day. I have known women who have done this and they have told me it’s exhausting. Something is always sacrificed since we weren’t created to do it all.

Abbie Berringer wrote an article entitled What If I Become a Stay-at-Home Mom? Here’s what she had to say about her childhood once her mother went back to work full time.

“My mother stayed home with my sister and I most of our childhood, but as we entered high school she re-entered the workforce. This dynamic completely changed how our family functioned. Even with all of us picking up more of the workload at home with chores, cooking and cleaning, things weren’t the same. Now both of our parents came home tired, more irritable and distracted after long days of work, missed some of our extracurricular events and couldn’t always answer our phone calls or be around on weekends. The feelings associated with this change were no doubt accentuated by a lifetime of taking all that my mother did for us at home for granted. Yet as I looked back, I began to reflect on how fundamental she was throughout all of the seemingly mundane day-to-day parts of my childhood.”

Women will consistently tell me they can do it all but they can’t. There is a good reason the Lord commands younger women to be keepers at home. It’s a full-time job and ministry! Abbie saw the huge difference in her family’s life when her mom left her home for a job outside of the home. She wants to be a full-time mother once she has children but something concerns her about this.

“My only fear is that if I make the choice to stay home, I will lose the respect of many of the career women around me. Even on campus I have heard many young women make negative comments about stay-at-home mothers that concern me when I consider that these peers will be the women that surround me as an adult as well.”

Feminism hasn’t given women choices as many claim. No, it’s their way or the highway. They have come to believe that what gives a woman value is having a career and this is why many mothers feel the need to find jobs outside of their home to earn a paycheck. Even most churches don’t teach women to be keepers at home! It’s shameful and it’s the children who are paying the highest price for this.

I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.
1 Timothy 5:14

21 thoughts on “Working Once the Children are in School Full Time

  1. Indeed, the pressure to toe the feminist line is enormous. Most of us have probably known women who want to marry and be at home, but they’re afraid to admit it because of what people will think or say. Following God’s ways will surely make us look different from the world.

    My prayer is that women submit themselves to God and draw nigh unto Him so they have the power to resist the devil, and he will flee {James 4:7}.

  2. Lori, I don’t know what it is like with older children because mine are still 10 and under, but I know that even if we didn’t homeschool, I should like to be at home when they returned because my children have a short term approach to processing life and if my husband and I miss a window to instruct them it will be a very long time before we get the same opportunity again or never at all. For example, when they are curious about something or highly interested in something, in their view, it’s urgent and important. If I am busy or tired or distracted and selfishly brush them off or ignore them, it is forgotten and the next time I bring it up (if ever) they listen out of obedience but without the same enthusiasm. Whereas when I answer their questions in real time, with as much enthusiasm, they hang on my every word, they don’t forget my instruction and they are able to paraphrase my words accurately to their father when he comes home at the end of the day. It’s surprising how profound some of their little questions can be. Some have driven me to searching the Word of God for answers. Others have driven me to repentance.

    I pray for the wisdom to recognize these precious moments and to rise above any selfish tendencies within me, in order to respond to the umpteenth “Mama, mama….” even at the end of the day.

    Having a job outside the home would have me running on empty and unable to minister to my children beyond the physical needs yet it is their precious souls that will never die.

  3. There’s an opportunity cost to everything we do. There are many options for women with kids in school; with today’s gig economy, it’s easier to freelance, or to work part-time or at a school that follows the kids’ schedule. The question is always priorities–what’s most important? What tradeoffs are acceptable to achieve the most important goal? What are some reasonable “what-ifs” to consider?

    Interestingly, it’s becoming a little more apparent that “having it all” is an illusion, and women who recognize this fact are resentful that they’ve been sold a bill of goods. This resentment can lead to a positive epiphany–hey, maybe this feminism isn’t all it’s cracked up to be! Or it can lead to an endless cycle of discontent and envy that cries out for reshaping society more and more.

  4. All I remember growing up was my mom would go to work as soon as we got home from school. She would work the 3-11 shift. Not good. Women, stay home. It’s the best job you’ll ever have! Trust God to meet your needs. He never fails when we obey.

  5. Even most churches don’t teach women to be keepers at home! It’s shameful and it’s the children who are paying the highest price for this.

    You nailed it! The churches are more interested in worshipping Feminism than they are in your children or in anybody actually following God’s word. The true remnant of the church meets in spirit here, gathered together to follow God’s words, not just to negate them.

    1. The children of Israel always ran after Ashtoreth and the Queen of Heaven- In Jeremiah the women were bold to say that they were not doing it without their men:

      44:19 And when we burned incense to the queen of heaven, and poured out drink offerings unto her, did we make her cakes to worship her, and pour out drink offerings unto her, without our men?

      – the word is continually relevant – nothing has changed.

      1. This is the HS! I just read yesterday the first mention of the queen of heaven in Jeremiah. Chapter 7:17-18 “Seest thou not what they do in the cities of Judah and in the streets of Jerusalem? The children gather wood, and the fathers kindle the fire, and the women knead their dough, to make cakes to the queen of heaven, and to pour out drink offerings unto other gods, that they may provoke me to anger.”
        The whole family is involved in this iniquity.

    2. Elias you are sadly right. In so many areas (modesty, birth control, work etc Church’s fail to follow Biblical truths for fear of alienating feminists.

  6. My husband started doing some research into why the king James bible is the only true bible because we have heard preachers say this and it has come to be true! All of the other translations do not use keeper at home when talking about young women… they use “busy at home” and I feel this has given many preachers the ok to not teach about true biblical womenhood. I cant believe all of the differences between the kjv and others once you look into it. It has a lot to do with the feminist agenda too! So sad. I love being a stay at home wife! I’m 26 and will be having our first baby in 3 months! Praise God for His goodness

    1. What a good thing your husband did in searching out the differences between the KJV Bible and the corrupted versions! They have changed the truth of God’s word by removing and cutting out sentences and words. This changes the whole truth. It’s said it’s done for clarity! It’s a lie! While the KJV is a translation, it stands alone as the most faithful transition there is! Keep your eyes on the LORD and He will guide through life! Always go to the LORD for any and all questions and trials you will have!
      Proverbs 3:5-7
      5 Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding.
      6 In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and he will direct thy paths.
      7 Be not wise in thine own eyes, fear the LORD and depart from evil.
      May the LORD’s face shine upon you, your husband and your growing family, always! 📖🙏💝

  7. A wife should never be expected to work and earn a living once she is married. This does not hinge on whether or not a wife is able to have children.

    In order for marriage to be lawful a relational change needs to take place from a non marital relationship to a marital relationship.

    A couple needs to organize their relationship into something greater than a romantic/emotional connection. No amount of romantic love I felt for my future husband would justify me to say yes to marriage until he was willing or able to support me and I was willing to quit my job on the wedding day.

    Marriage is an embodied institution where each sex brings their bodies with them into matrimony.

    Heaven forbid that my husband gets hurt and I might need to be the breadwinner but this would be from necessity not autonomy.

  8. If a woman feels she must go back to work, or if her husband asks her to, I would encourage her to either sign up as a substitute teacher or a teacher assistant.

    As a sub she’ll get to pick her days and hours and won’t need to stay after school for hours like regular teachers do.

    As a TA she can work with children with disabilities or elementary aged children, both of which are very rewarding and fulfilling.

    Either way, she’ll have summer, winter break, holidays, snow days, etc. off with her children, and it’s much easier to take days off when needed. If she worked at an office til 5pm or later, she’d be driving home through rush hour traffic, dinner wouldn’t be started til 6pm, no time for chores or family. By working in a school she could be home by 330, help her children with homework, do housework and have dinner ready by the time her husband comes home. <3

  9. I can tell you that in my 20’s, I worked in Juvenile Probation. Guess when most of my kids (cases) got in trouble and/or arrested? Yup, between 8 and 5, while Mom and Dad were working. Many simply left school and went home when they knew their parents had gone. They’d take a couple of friends, go home and play games, do drugs, have sex, etc.

    I hated my mom working. For loads of reasons. My brother went down a very wrong road. For many years, I blamed myself because I was his *keeper* during that time. I wasn’t prepared to raise a 5 yr. old at the age of 11. And I wasn’t any better at 15 when he was 9yrs. old. We were alone from about 8am to as late as 10 pm most of the time.

    1. It’s tragic, Debby. I feel so badly for the many children that are experiencing what you experienced as a child. I knew many friends who got in trouble because there were no parents at home keeping watch over them.

  10. The LORD’S ways are always good! The world’s way is to destruction!

    Once again, thank you for a great article! 💝

  11. A married woman’s first priority should always be her husband and children, whatever the circumstances, no married woman should ever prioritise work outside the home above her calling as a keeper at home and mother. Unless forced by necessity it is wrong for any married woman to work, whether or not she has children and regardless of their age or school schedule.

    As the mother of three children in full time school (plus a baby) I know that my time is more than full with my obligations to my children, my husband and my home. Were I to work it would be to the detriment of my duty and role as a wife. It would be sinful and my husband would be absolutely right in forbidding it.

  12. As a stay-at-home mommy, I understand the topic. I am dealing with the pro’s and con’s to going back to work versus staying home to take care of the kids. They’re 11, 10 and 5 and I believe that its a juggling act, regardless of working full or part time and dealing with sports, art and other activities that our children are consumed with. For the last few months it has been weighing heavy on my mind and its partially why I started blogging myself. It’s a topic that I feel you should elaborate more on. I started getting into your article, just for it to drop quickly into something that may be more controversial. I was looking for some insight and instead feel as if I have even more questions. I would love to hear more of your interest on the subject. Best wishes, Tabby B

  13. I work now the children are in primary school. I am very lucky that I can choose my own hours. It is not by choice, my husband died when our 3rd child was only a few weeks old. We are both only children, and both sets of grandparents are unable to help. I love my kids more than anything. But needs must.

  14. Dee Anne is exactly right Jaela! My husband and my dad before him always taught me from the KJV, it does not water down God’s word like so many translations that continue to be published to conform to society. I am surprised there is not some “feminist bible” out there in circulation (the devil is everywhere!!)

    So glad you are a stay at home wife/soon to be mom! By following God’s path you will be blessed that biblical womanhood does not end when your children go to school. It does not end when your children are grown (my youngest is about to turn 22). As wives following God’s plan we are always to be keepers of the home, and obey and serve our husbands even when children are not in the home.

    My role in or family and in God’s plan continues every day. I stay home where I belong. Goodness knows I am questioned nearly every day by someone (usually a woman) wondering what I do all day and why I’ve never worked or gotten a “formal” education. Keep you trust in God and your husband and you will get used to those people and their negativity. As children get older we do get a little more time for ourselves, and I will admit I do enjoy the occasional downtime where I can curl up on the couch at 1:00 in the afternoon in my pajamas and read a good book!!

    1. Great point, Summer!

      The flexibility of being at home allows for rest during daytime hours. I’ve found a break in the afternoon gains me hours in the evening, which works well as we have teens in the house. A SAHM’s schedule may not look like a productive 9-5 in terms of work hours, but by not jam-packing every hour of the day and allowing for downtime and rest, hopefully we can meet our family’s needs more effectively in the evening.

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