Are We Careful to Not Cross Dress?
Dalrock wrote about cross dressing on his blog and it is definitely food for thought. God definitely wants women to dress and act like women and he wants men to dress and act like men but it has become acceptable in our culture for women to dress and act like men, even in the Christian culture, sadly. Yes, our wicked culture has now decided that men can act and dress like women but we clearly know this is wrong. How did we fail to recognize that the opposite is just as wrong?
The problem is, for decades we have been taught that there is nothing shameful about a woman dressing like and acting like a man. This is so much the case that it is really difficult to conceive of what would be considered cross-dressing for a woman in our culture, including modern conservative Christian culture. Which of the following would cause a modern woman to be shamed for being a cross dresser?
Wearing jeans instead of dresses and skirts? Nope.
Wearing boxer shorts? Nope.
Joining the army and driving a tank, eating field rations, and wearing combat boots? Nope.
Dressing up like a lumberjack? Nope.
Wearing a man’s haircut? Nope.
A woman today who dresses like a man might be chided for her questionable fashion sense, but she wouldn’t seen as cross dressing. For a woman to be considered a cross dresser, she would have to go to the greatest extremes. Not only would she have to make herself look like a man in every way, she would have to actually claim to be a man for us to consider her a cross dresser.
Contrast this with a man who does any of the below. Is he seen as a cross dresser?
Wears women’s underwear? Yes.
Wears women’s dresses or skirts (excluding kilts)? Yes.
Wears women’s shoes? Yes.
We have in our culture two kinds of clothing/styles:
Clothing and styles everyone can wear.
Clothing and styles men must not wear.
From a practical perspective, it is all but impossible for a woman to cross dress in our culture. We have great difficulty even conceiving of the idea. Cross dressing in our culture is something that almost exclusively pertains to men, because a woman cross dressing is simply normal. From this perspective, we were already half way to accepting cross dressing as far back as the 1980s. We’ve lived for decades rejecting the idea that something God detests is even possible. Even worse, we have denied that our perspective on the issue has changed. We forgot it, and then we forgot that we forgot it.
Let’s begin today to dress and act like godly women who love being feminine with meek and quiet spirits.
The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman’s garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the LORD thy God.
She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.
40 thoughts on “Are We Careful to Not Cross Dress?”
This always gets me… plainly speaking, it appears it means a woman shouldnt wear pants. But is wearing women’s panta/jeans wrong? I want to do the right thing and yeach my 11 year old daughter to be obedient as well…
Women aren’t to wear anything masculine, Stephanie, and the decision whether or not to wear pants should come from your husband since he is head over you. I wear pants but I wear a long and feminine shirt over them. The main key is to make sure your daughter dresses feminine, like a girl. Our culture is becoming so confusing in this area that it’s even more important for all of us who want to please the Lord to dress like ladies.
The Bible doesn’t specify that women must only wear skirts and not wear pants. It leaves the command at men dressing like men and women dressing like women on purpose to allow for cultural differences. The principle is that women are to embrace femininity and not try to look or act like a man and men are to embrace masculinity and not try to look or act like a woman. The details of what that looks like vary from culture to culture, but the principle always applies.
I’m not sure if it’s good to completely take Dalrock and his commenters seriously. They participate in things like “Spot the Beta” where they ridicule a woman’s husband just based on one or two pictures she puts up on her blog. If he looks “beta,” then their marriage is a sham. If she’s not leaning into him, then she’s apparently not attracted to him.
Not sure if you’re aware of that, but thought you may like to know.
Yes! Thank you for addressing this!
I’ve been skirts-only for over five years now, and it’s been such a blessing. I love it. I would encourage anyone who wants to try it to give it a try!
I haven’t read much of his blog, Jess, but I reference many other bloggers/preachers/teachers/writers and it doesn’t mean I agree with everything they write. I do love to find things that are thought-provoking concerning godliness or godly womanhood.
I sure wear them more than I used to wear them and I know my husband sure loves it when I wear dresses and skirts!
What if your husband prefers you in jeans and a tshirt, and hates “girly” colors and styles?
Then that is what you wear, Janet, since it’s very clear that wives are to be submissive to their husband’s leadership.
I have been skirts only for about 14 years now – it’s really not difficult !
Well said, thank you! I have six daughters and am on a constant journey of teaching them how to dress like ladies and little girls instead of wearing the regular clothes of today’s fashion – which, in a one view, can be seen as gender neutral, even in the little girls’ section. My extended family thinks we are a bit odd for being so traditional with our dress … but in today’s wishy washy society and with gender-blender issues, we need to be careful not to be too lazy in, not only our beliefs, but also our attire. I truly think there is nothing more beautiful than a properly dressed feminine lady.
If my husband (and his brothers) had played ‘spot the beta’ when they were young he could have avoided a lot of heartbreak…
…and saved a lot of money raising another man’s child…and had more children of his own at an earlier age…
Amazing how what seems to be ‘mean’ is actually very helpful.
I will play spot the beta with my sons 🙂 so they don’t get taken advantage of.
Body language never lies
I agree, Gigi. This is how women of old dressed and there was a clear delineation between men and women back then. I much prefer it that way!
25 degrees below zero here in northern Wisconsin this morning and breezy. Windchill -50. VERY DANGEROUS!
I have 2 blocks to walk to church in a while. You can bet your sweet bippy I will have long pants and a heavy sweater on as well as thermal boots and double insulated mittens and a down coat on. Skirt or dress, not an option today.
How about wearing a flannel petticoat, and a wool skirt in addition to the clothing that you mentioned? I do it all the time and I assure you, I stay very warm and look feminine at a distance. Women did manage to not freeze to death historically wearing dresses all the time.
Give it a little thought and may you be blessed sister.
It was on MSN this morning how a lost hunter in northern Minnesota was rescued but he was going to lose some fingers to frostbite. I cannot take a chance dressing any way in the extreme cold winter other than what will be adequate protection. I do like to wear skirts and dresses in decent weather.
So Lori, I have a question about wearing skirts or dresses with bare legs. This seems to be the style today. When I was younger and working it was nice to wear a dress with nylons and high heels. Now I see women everywhere and on TV with bare legs. I know men probably like this as my husband has commented on it as well. Living in So. Cal. we can’t just put tights or leggings on as it is too warm most of the time. I see only flats and flip-flops. I am at a loss as to how to wear a skirt or dress with bare legs!
Ankle boots look nice with dresses and skirts, whether they are close to knee length or long.
I believe Elizabeth is suggesting wearing a wool skirt over the pants you currently are wearing, which provides additional warmth and achieves the objective of looking feminine at the same time. I have done this in similar harsh winter weather like you are describing, with bitter cold and harsh wind chill, and it works excellently.
Umm, would you please reread my comment?
It has been below zero here and all my sister’s and myself wear skirts and dresses to go outside. We skate, ski and sled in them. Right now I am sitting here in 4 underskirts, leggings and an ankle length skirt. I am warm. You can wear a skirt over insulated snow pants and it is warmer.
Call me old or out of touch…but what in the world are you talking about? I’ve never heard of this. Sorry!
It is -25 C here.. I have the warm flannel lined skirt – no pants can beat this!
Totally agree on this.
Susanne, you’re so right! In the beginning I thought it was absurd and impractical to wear only skirts, but that was because I was wearing the wrong kinds of skirts – the dressy, uncomfortable synthetic types. Now that I’ve discovered practical types of skirts, it’s so easy and works in any situation and any weather! Love it!!
I live in Wisconsin. Wear the pants.
I live in Minnesota. I tried skirts many years ago. Definitely not for cold weather. We are on a farm and I found out skirts are dangerous around farm equipment. Just so much harder to work in. And my husband thought I was ridiculous to wear a skirt.
Wear them both.
I knew there would be a lot of posts on this topic!
A church friend asked me (during an ice storm) why I was wearing a skirt and not pants. I simply told her the truth….”My grandma won’t let me.” Even though she’s been gone for 25 yrs. now, I still obey her!
I have found that skirts can actually be warmer than pants . Layering pants isn’t really possible & wind blows right thru’ them. Some tights, a warm slip/undercoat, & thick skirt material is much warmer. I learned that from a local in a Wyoming blizzard! The only thing I recall really hurting in that cold was my eyeballs. That was the first time I ever saw it snow upside down (from the wind swirling up).
I haven’t commented on here before, but I just wanted to clarify that this commenter “jess H” is not me (that’s my name and initial and I sometimes comment under it on other blogs). The reason I seek to clarify is that someone recently shared a picture of my husband and I on one of these “spot the beta” things on another website.
Thanks Lori 🙂
I’m very interested in following God’s wishes as to how men and women should dress. I know that Paul said that men should not dress like women and vice versa, but can you provide some verses with specifics?
What clothes does the Bible say that men should wear?
Deuteronomy 22:5 – A woman should not wear men’s clothing and men should not wear women’s clothing.
As far as I am aware, the verses about dressing modestly only pertain to women. So as long as the man is not running about in ladies dresses, he should be fine.
Definately wear pants while working on the farm. You could wear a long top that covers he crotch for extra modesty. But for around the house and going out, wear dresses and skirts. Its not a salvation issue. Sometimes wearing skirts or dresses can be a matter of life or death, particularly when working with big machinery. Or living in an area with dangerous snakes that like to ark up and latch onto your leg while you are gardening. Wearing a good pair of long pants can lessen the ability of the snake to penetrate the skin. It looks ridiculous when a woman tries and struggles with wearing a skirt under certain conditions when pants would make life easier and be more practical.
I think it is really important to teach girls to dress modestly and to enjoy their God given femininity.
I agree Lori. Very true. ☺
Yes and AMEN! This is true. I came out of a dogmatic church that taught that Deut 22:5 is talking about pants are only for men. But the Word is Not saying that there at all. It has made a lot of pharasees in many holiness churches. I use to be one, but the Lord corrected me a couple times about it. My husband abd I both agree that as long as I dress femineme and modest its ok to wear pants, skirts, and dresses. I wear A small dress over pants to keep pants modest looking.
Women can wear pants as long as its modestly put together, not masculine or looking like a man, and her husband is ok with it.
If men aren’t to “wear that which pertaineth to a women” and vice versa, that clearly states that men shouldn’t wear dresses, therefore women shouldn’t wear pants. It is not one sided which so many people love to argue. Its not complicated or confusing and God is NOT the author of confusion. People will constantly argue their reasons for not wanting to change. Maybe they are too lazy or stubborn etc the reasons ad nauseum. Yes the man is the head of the household but we are all responsible for the working of our individual soul’s salvation and if this is mentioned as to what men and women should or should NOT do regardless of “day and age” its important to our soul salvation. The fact is women have for centuries worn dresses and skirts while working in a variety of jobs and weather conditions. Just because it is the year 2018 doesn’t mean that we should change just because the world changes. God doesn’t change and neither do his standards or his Word. Its true that modesty is more than what is on the outside but we are also called to “be ye separate from among the world”( and this means LOOK like it too) and if that means I’ll catch my skirt on something or freeze my butt off in negative degree weather for the sake of being holy before my God then so be it (and believe me I have!). May the Lord bless you all and lead you.
Thank you so much Kasey! This is exactly what I’ve been thinking as well, about obeying your husband but also realizing he has no authority to make you wear or do anything immodest just because he likes it, I’d also add, lady’s, if your skirt might get caught in a piece of machinery so therefore you think pants are necessary then perhaps that work is best left to the men, seeing as how working with heavy machinery is usually men’s work after all, God bless you
I usually wear skirts and dresses for every day, but I love playing sports and being active. I enjoy running, walking, hiking in God’s creation, playing volleyball, and frisbee…not for the competitive nature but because I struggle with depression and anxiety. Being active really helps me and playing with friends helps me laugh and let loose. For more active things I like to wear skirts with shorts for summer and longer pants for the winter. Is that okay?
Encouraging thoughts of a personal relationship with God, As we are content in Him, we will be content to look tidy, yet be covered. Most people don’t place priority on being covered. It’s more about style. As seasons are warmer or colder, dress warmer or lighter, yet with the same principle in mind! And of course within husband’s preference. In spring and summer, skirts and dresses have no practical reason to not be appropriate. Wear denim if working with worry of getting snagged, it doesn’t blow in the wind, and cold or terribly cold weather, why can layers not suitible? Warm pants and boots with an overlay of skirt. More thoughts on why this last option seems to not be reasonable in light of principle.