All of the women in my family had our “Happy Hour” where we eat, ask questions about our marriages to strengthen each other, and laugh a lot. A few years ago, a woman came to share her testimony with us. She was married to Craig. He was tall, dark and handsome. He worked hard to provide for their family. They had three daughters together. He would come home late each day after working hard and instead of eating with the family, he would go out for a run. Then he would come home, shower and play with the girls, put on their pajamas and put them into bed with a prayer. Afterwards, he would eat his warmed up dinner. Sharon, his wife, would have to clean up the kitchen late at night. When they went to bed, he would roll over and want intimacy. All of this angered her. She felt neglected and used by him. In her mind, he was a bad husband. She had been married to Craig for 17 years.
She went to her pastor who was 21 years older than her who had recently lost his wife to cancer. She was counseled by him. She fell in love with him and divorced her husband and married her pastor. Shortly after she married him, he completely changed. He wanted nothing to do with her daughters. He got prostate cancer and couldn’t have sex. He had rage and anger that was out of control. He finally got on anxiety medicine and was a bit better.
At this time, she fled to Jesus and found a strong and abiding relationship with Him. She realized what a foolish woman she had been and the wrong thoughts about Craig that she allowed to fester in her mind. Craig worked his tail off for her family. After a long day at work, he would come home to run to let off steam from his day. Then he would spend his evenings giving her time off by taking care of the girls and putting them to bed. His way of showing his love to her was to make love to her at night. Her thinking was all wrong about Craig, and it had destroyed what could have been a beautiful marriage. She wept as she told us this.
She has been married to this pastor for many years, but she decided early on that she would be Jesus to him. Months later, he told her that he had been to church his whole life, Bible College and then seminary but nothing witnessed to him like her life and the way she lived it in front of him. She had renewed her mind with God’s Word and found that He alone was sufficient. She finally had placed Jesus on the throne of her life.
After eight years of being married to the pastor, Craig called to tell her he was getting remarried. She told him she was so sorry and asked for his forgiveness. He told her he had forgiven her a long time ago. She now has six grandchildren. Her five year old granddaughter came up to her recently and asked her if Papa cried when she divorced him, and she told him that he had wept and was devastated. She asked her grandma if she had asked him to forgive her, and she said she had. She asked if she had asked her mommy and aunts to forgive her, and she said she had. Then she looked in her grandma’s face and asked her why she hadn’t asked her to forgive her. Sharon held her little granddaughter’s face and asked her to forgive her.
Sharon went on to tell us of the devastating effects this divorce had on everyone, especially her daughters. Every five days as they were growing up, they had to change homes and each time, their hearts broke. God hates divorce for a reason, women, and we reap what we sow. Sharon had bad thoughts about Craig; for out of our thoughts come our behavior. She allowed Satan to place in negative, critical thoughts about Craig and it destroyed her marriage. “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he.” Control your thoughts. Any negative thoughts that come to you about your husband quickly kick out and replace with good thoughts. Don’t allow the enemy to destroy you, because he will if he can. Learn from Sharon.
And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.