Barrenness is Celebrated in the Church

Barrenness is Celebrated in the Church

He makes the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the LORD.
Psalm 113:9

Sadly, many women in the church celebrate and force barrenness upon themselves by taking birth control pills and all types of other things used to prevent having babies conceived. Some of these things even cause an embryo (a human life) to be destroyed. Millions of women per year will have their babies murdered in their wombs if they become pregnant at an “inconvenient” time and never allow their babies to take a breath. They don’t believe that keeping house and being a mother to children can be joyful as God has said.

Too many women in the Church value careers and traveling over being blessed with children. I will watch a mother holding her precious baby and never understand how a career can be more important than a blessing of a baby. Women go on birth control so they can have careers and travel. Babies would interrupt these plans during their most fertile years and they value temporary pleasures over God’s blessings.

God’s plan is for young women to marry, bear children, and guide the home (1 Timothy 5:12). They are to love their children and be keepers at home (Titus 2:4, 5). He may bless barren women who have open hearts to children with children and make them a joyful mother of children while they keep house yet most churches don’t teach this because this offends women. God’s ways offend Christian women and I wouldn’t be allowed to teach these things in most churches! Ponder that for a moment.

After marriage, being blessed with children, if one is able, should be a natural part of marriage. Divorcing this from marriage, as the Church has done, has been devastating. Christian women who want to have all of the children that God blesses them with will be asked rude questions by other Christians, such as, “You do know where babies come from, don’t you?” As if preventing children is a godly and good thing! This is perversion.

“The entire purpose of the sex drive is to marry and have children. Christians have been bamboozled out of their heritage and 80% of Christian women think birth control is acceptable. It’s not, unless we are dealing with health concerns. Remember when God told his people to make sure you can afford kids before you have them? Yeah, me neither. So American men and women have killed off 200 million kids with abortion and contraception since birth control was legalized by a rogue SCOTUS in 1965. To put that in perspective, less than 2 million Americans were killed in all our wars combined. So we’ve killed 100 times as many Americans as our enemies have. Hitler and Stalin are green with envy.” (John Jefferson)

“The church’s sin which has caused us to become unsavory salt incapable of uplifting the society around us is selfishness, lack of love, refusing to consider children an unmitigated blessing. In other words, family planning…When the church came out in favor of family planning, it produced certain effects. Outside careers became truly possible for women with the blessing of the church. Only when a woman deliberately chose to stop having children and was able to carry through on her plans would she be able to launch into a career without fear of ‘interruptions.'” (Mary Pride)

Women give their babies to strangers while they go off to work. They have two children and decide this is plenty because they have other dreams and goals to accomplish. Women, God’s plan is for you to marry and bear children! It isn’t to have careers and travel. He never planned for you to have a load of debt from higher education and then a career which prevents you from having children and being home full time with them. This was NEVER His plan yet the church fell for it hook, line, and sinker. This blasphemes the Word of God according to Titus 2:5.

Let’s repent of our evil ways and stop going along with this wicked and adulterous culture and instead open our wombs to the Lord and allow Him to bless us with godly offspring. (Yes, if I were still young, I would still be wanting babies. We never did anything permanent to prevent them and would have loved having more children but I became too ill. Thankfully, we had our children when we were young. If we had waited until I was 30 years old, like many women do today, we would not have been able to have children.)

If you have prevented babies, pilled up debt from higher education, sought out careers, and maybe even had an abortion, know that there is forgiveness from God. He is a loving and merciful God. Many Christian women have gone along with the flow of culture and don’t understand that the way they are living is against God’s plan for them. They do all of this in ignorance. There’s been no older women in their lives teaching them the ways of biblical womanhood. I understand this and you are not alone. If you are still young, change the course of your life into God’s plan for you and remember that with God ALL things are possible!

Don’t take your fertility for granted, young women. It’s only for a few short years so use it to produce godly offspring, if the Lord blesses you. The world needs this more than it needs anything else. Keep your eyes upon eternity instead of the temporary thrills of our evil culture.

Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.
Psalm 127:3

43 thoughts on “Barrenness is Celebrated in the Church

  1. Amen!

    The number one question we get asked is, “Do you own a t.v.?” 😳 As if anything on the tv is more interesting than intimacy with your spouse? 🙄

    Since we moved to the south, We’ve been hearing a new one: “Are they all from the same dad/mom?”

    We welcome all the children God has blessed us with, and hope he chooses to bless us with more if it’s His will. We currently have ten earthly blessings and two waiting for us in heaven (I am currently recovering from a miscarriage; this is my second one). I am sure I will mourn when my childbearing days are over but I am thankful for ALL of the children God has given us-even though the world essentially believes they shouldn’t exist simply because they come from one family (makes no sense at all!).

  2. Hi Lori, I appreciate you but I do not feel that using a diaphragm or birth control pill is sinful. I do see that God said to be fruitful and multiply but that was in Old Testament times when the earth needed to be populated. I do not see where God says contraception is wrong. Abortion is wrong for it kills a living fetus, however.

    1. Many forms of birth control also kill a living fetus as most don’t prevent conception but prevent the fertilized embryo from attaching to the wall of the uterus. Thus, without nourishment, it dies 🙁

  3. Thankful for this wonderful encouragement to younger women today! I am past child bearing years now, but my 4 children have been and continue to be a tremendous blessing to me and my husband. I experienced 4 miscarriages as well, and I can only imagine the amazing reunion we will have in heaven one day! I know all souls belong to God, and He has a purpose and plan for every blessing He gives and takes! Blessed be the name of the LORD! I always desired to have more children, so I needed to be careful not to covet the fertility of women who seemed to conceive so easily. My child-bearing days were more akin to Hannah, Rachel, Rebekah, and Sarah from the Bible. They all yearned and prayed earnestly and fervently to have children. Is it any wonder why my children are so precious to me?!!🙂 What a gift!!

  4. I was told as a teenager that I could never have children. 6 kids later I can tell you that I have heard all the nasty comments. I have been married for 32 years, I stayed home and raised our children. When my husband asked me to work for a short time, it was nights so that I was still home with my kids. And I am very proud to say that I was told that it’s women like me that are what’s wrong with women today. We make it hard for “real working women” to advance as men’s equals.

    1. It’s tragic that these thoughts have invaded the church, Jacque, when we know God’s thoughts about children and the blessings they are to us. You sure are blessed!

  5. “He never planned for you to have a load of debt from higher education and then a career which prevents you from having children and being home full time with them.”

    So true!!

    1. Everything our culture is doing, we, as believers in Jesus Christ, need to compare it with God’s Word to make sure we are staying on the narrow path that leads to life!

  6. Ugh, as someone who just tried to get pregnant and failed again this cycle

    People are just so ungrateful nowadays.

    I never took pregnancy for granted before I was married…but really, when you go through infertility, you realize what an absolute miracle having children truly is because you are forced to study the statistics and the biology.

    It’s such a sensitive system!

    Everything has to be just right for you to conceive.

    Funny story…the consolation prize of this cycle was we grabbed some spermies and I bought a microscope last month…so both me and my husband were all stressed that we wouldn’t see any spermies…and for a few very tense minutes we didn’t because neither of us knew how to work the microscope…but after fiddling around a bit…We saw sperms!! Yes! My husband was very happy seeing his own little army down there.

    When we do get pregnant we will definitely have boys as the sperms that were moving in a straight line were super fast and knocking all the other sperms away like linebackers.

    [P.S- I don’t like doctors and I avoid them because I think they will just corner me into IVF by doing other procedures purposefully incorrectly…so I’m doing everything that I can do at home]

    We took a marriage class at the Catholic Church this weekend (we’re already married, we’re doing things in reverse precisely because of the fertility problems) and the thing I liked that the priest said was…

    “What do you think it means when someone says ‘I want to have sex with you…but you/I can’t get pregnant’ It’s a deep rejection of the other person’s being…and people subconsciously register that in the back of their brain.”

    That goes for men and women. A lot of women reject having any more of their husband’s children. I don’t like it when someone says ‘And this baby is the LAST our family is COMPLETE’ on facebook….You can use natural family planning for financial reasons but never rule anything out

    1. It’s sad how twisted marriage and sex are in our culture. Marriage then having children, even many children possibly, is a good thing and God’s perfect plan. (I’m not sure about IVF either. There are too many unknowns like the side effects and long-term effects of the drugs and the “leftover” embryos.)

      1. We know a couple that has 4 “leftover” embryos on ice and they don’t know what to do with them. It’s so disgusting to me. I don’t understand what infertility feels like to go to the length of ivf but that is such a bothersome thought to know you have four babies on ice. Just waiting for what?! Because you don’t want to raise anymore children. Crazy.

  7. So true. I went through years of loss and infertility. Early in my marriage my husband and I spoke with a Christian nurse about birth control and was told all the same words one hears from the world concerning the “safety” of the pill and the importance of “setting yourself up financially”. Later as we struggled with infertility and loss I recalled how I wanted to start having children right away and I struggled with bitterness against this sister in Christ because my husband and I listened to her words.

    Eventually God showed us the truth and we repented but the years of infertility and loss stretched on. It was a very difficult time. The Lord is loving and merciful and saw fit to bless us with children after some time. I am thankful for clear teaching like yours that I will pass on to my daughter. Once my daughter hits puberty I have a number of books she will be assigned to read for school (we homeschool) that will teach her the truth about her role as a woman of God. Your book will be among them. 🙂

    1. Could you please share what those books are? I have 2 girls with a lot of questions and want to give the best answers.

      1. I’d be happy to. My daughter is hopefully two or three years away from full on puberty so I haven’t had the experience of actually having her read them yet and talking about things. But I have these:

        Of course Lori’s The Power of a Transformed Wife
        https://smile.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/099816870X/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1525732131&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=lori+alexander+transformed+wife&dpPl=1&dpID=51aNySxSIkL&ref=plSrch

        So Much More
        https://smile.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0975526383/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1525731961&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX118_SY170_QL70&keywords=botkin+sisters&dpPl=1&dpID=211AS4ZFZCL&ref=plSrch

        Created to be His Helpmeet
        https://smile.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1892112604/ref=mp_s_a_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1525732034&sr=8-2&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=to+be+his+helpmeet&dpPl=1&dpID=51nYtxSXrnL&ref=plSrch

        Fascinating Womanhood
        https://smile.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/055329220X/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1525731905&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=fascinating+womanhood&dpPl=1&dpID=514Sc3JOioL&ref=plSrch

        I read Taking Charge of Your Fertility as an adult. It had great information in it but was not written from a Christian or necessarily even moral position. The author Toni Weschler wrote a book for girls that I am considering for more of the mechanics of cycles and puberty but I honestly have to read it first as I don’t know what moral standards it holds. https://smile.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0060829648/ref=mp_s_a_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1525732355&sr=8-2&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=toni+weschler&dpPl=1&dpID=51UwQihZDbL&ref=plSrch

        This final book I haven’t read yet myself either but I plan too. Actually I wish I had read it before I got engaged but it only came out 9 years ago. It is the book I’ve heard cited by young couples with correct thinking on the blessings of children right away.

        https://smile.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0802458300/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1525732566&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=start+your+family&dpPl=1&dpID=610lXM6QLML&ref=plSrch

        1. Living Virtuously by Erin Harrison is a great one too!
          Also by Debi Pearl, Preparing to be His Help Meet!

  8. It must depend on what part of the country you are in. My husband and I have been traveling from church to church for his speaking engagements, and all have been full of families with children! Very often we are the only couple there without children or grandchildren.

    1. I have heard from women all around the country and the world who tell me that they are ridiculed for having more than a few children so I’m not sure where you have traveled in the country but it seems rare from what I have heard and seen. I am sure there are some churches that teach the blessings of children and that they should be a natural result of marriage but not many churches teach this anymore.

  9. Thanks, as always, for tackling this issue. This is SUCH a stronghold of falsehood within the church, and it desperately needs to be confronted. Birth control is an evil with a thousand daughter-evils. If you have watched the birth control movie, one speaker in that film said that three evils ALWAYS come into a country after it legalizes birth control – homosexuality, abortion, and pornography. This is because birth control embodies the worldview that sex is for an individual’s selfish pleasure, rather than for welcoming the blessing of children. Birth control ALWAYS precedes abortion, because it is the mother of abortion – and indeed, abortion is only one type of birth control, which is anything (including abortion) that prevents sex from resulting in the birth of a live child.

    One of my only regrets in life is practicing birth control as a young woman. I have no idea how many “silent abortions” I may have caused, and I am 100% sure that our one miscarriage was caused by the pill (it is extremely common for a first pregnancy after coming off the pill to end in the death of the child due to residual effects of uterine lining thinning). And there would be one or two more children now sitting at our table, who cannot be gotten back, even though I now regret rejecting God’s blessing during those years. We are now open to children, and it is the best decision we ever made.

    1. Thank you for your wise and truthful comment, Diana. Nothing good has come from birth control and it has developed the mentality that having children is an inconvenience which led to abortion.

      I, too, wish we had never practiced birth control. We would probably have had one more child before I had my first but thankfully we didn’t practice it for long!

  10. It took us just shy of 3 years to conceive so I find it quite disconcerting the number of women on birth control and who freeze their eggs because they want to wait and not because of health related issuses. I’ve always felt that if you don’t want children abstain from sexual intercourse, all the hormones that are in these medications and products always end up in our water it’s no wonder so many women are dealing with fertility issues now more than ever before.

    1. That’s true, Monique. The side effects of birth control pills are having horrible ramifications on culture as a whole since it’s in the water and high estrogen levels are bad for everyone.

      1. If you’re concerned about the hormones in the water, as I was, a Berkey filter is a great investment because it is able to filter them out! I have three young boys (6, 3, 1.5) and I was very worried about them ingesting female hormones in the water. I am so thankful for our Berkey! As a bonus, the water tastes much better too.

  11. I wish this was taught more often. My husband and I waited a few years into our marriage to even start trying, them stuggled for a few more years with infertility. We are blessed with two sweet girls, but have been trying for over 5 years now for another. I am so happy with the children I have, but sometimes feel sad that this is probably going to be it. I am 35, so time is ticking. I just regret not starting sooner. But at least I have learned a lesson I can pass on to my girls and maybe have many grandchildren.

    1. Sadly, most of us fell for the feminist lie that our lives were about ourselves and what we wanted instead of being living sacrifices for the Lord and what He wants. I always encourage newly married women who tell me they are “waiting” to have children that they shouldn’t take their fertility for granted. The older a woman becomes, the harder it is to get pregnant.

  12. I was married at 22, I was raised Catholic and converted to the LDS faith when I meet my husband.

    In the beginning of our marriage we didn’t try for children due to the fact but new husband had a drug problem but with me and the Lord overcame it. I was scared to think of I got pregnant the child will have issues due to his drug use. Then after a few years we tired and failed went to so many doctors telling us we can’t conceive naturally. We tired everything at home that we could do it was so hard on me and our marriage. Then when we got pregnant the first time we lost our 2 babies at 7wks. I was so heartbroken and mad at the doctor when he called it a chemical pregnancy. Then after more years after that loss I welcomed twin boy’s at 31 years old. They told me I have a 90% chance at having multiples. That was really a shock to hear. My whole marriage I have never used any form of birth control. It is scary and difficult having twins. It’s also a reason I choose not to want anymore of my own choice. As I get older and more and more risks come to women of multiples. I stay home with my kids and I’m so proud that i raise them and blessed that my husband let’s me.

    1. We would have loved having twins if the Lord blessed us with them and they ran in both of our families but it wasn’t to be. You are blessed to have children and able to stay home to raise them, Beatris!

  13. The Catholic Church has never embraced or supported birth control. You can use NFP to plan pregnancies, but it simply means abstaining from marital relations (to avoid pregnancy) or specifically having marital relations (to try for pregnancy). There is no killing of unborn babies and since you can really get pregnant at any time . . . well every marital relation is open to life!

    1. It doesn’t seem many in the Catholic church follows this view of their church, Kate. They may have in the past but from the Catholics I know personally, they have no trouble using birth control and having just one or two children.

      1. I have two teenagers at a Catholic school. I do not know what the ‘official’ position of the Catholic church is, but I do know that hardly any of the Catholic families at this school are large (3 or 4 kids at the most). And the sex education taught at school includes information about contraception.

  14. This was very enough encouraging! And sadly, so true. My husband and I have 3 small children and people just about gasp when I tell them I’d love to have more.

  15. I didn’t have a good childhood in fact I didn’t have a childhood at all! I did not finish high school and I’m not in debt with any higher educations. I have not chased after any career. I hate working outside of my home. I have changed jobs a number of times but I’m never happy because I know it’s not where my heart is. I did however earn my GED so I could get a job with benefits for my family. I do not want to work my heart is wanting to be home so badly but I’m not able to do that at this moment in our life. My tubes are tied due to serious health issues. We have one child and I would have loved to have more, lots more but my health had other plans for me. My husband and I are working towards paying off our debt and he is working towards a promotion so I may stay home. Where I’m trying to get with this is I completely understand and agree with your thoughts on this but now I feel more horrible however I never thought I was blasphemy against the Lord! What do I do?!

    1. Kortnie,

      I’m not Lori and perhaps she might have other thoughts for you, but I’d like to share a few of my own. I don’t believe you are guilty of blasphemy against the Lord. In fact, I see lots of positives in your situation. You are a survivor! You didn’t finish high school, but you didn’t let that stop you. You got your GED, and with it you were able to get health insurance for your family! Way to go!! Now, you and your husband are working toward being debt free! That is fantastic! Not many people in today’s day and age of credit card debt and school/car loans can say that. Perhaps you will be able to achieve your dream of becoming a stay at home mom after your debt is paid off. 🙂 As far as having your tubes tied due to health reasons, I believe God gave man wisdom to treat our health issues. If your Dr. strongly suggested this course of action to help you, it’s much better to live in good health and be able to function than to risk a more serious problem. Perhaps, at some point, your health problems will lessen, and you will be able to discuss other options with your Dr. In addition, what a blessing that the Lord gave you a child before your health prevented you from having any children at all. Your child must be such a joy to you! It also sounds like you have a husband that loves you and wants to help you achieve your heart’s desire of staying home. Another blessing 🙂

      My advice is to stay the course. Continue in the goals you and your husband have set. In doing so, you are being submissive and a godly help meet for your husband. Give your precious child all the nurturing that only you can give. (Lots of love :-))

      It sounds to me that you ARE being faithful to the Lord and doing the best that you can do for your family at this present time. God bless you!!

  16. I have experienced this to some extent.

    I had 3 children one after the other, then a 5 year gap and we (intentionally) had #4. SO MANY people assumed he was an “accident” (he wasn’t) and others said we were stupid and said how bad our planning was. Some people were even horrified that we had chosen to have another baby. Even Christians said that we were crazy. Where I live, 4 kids is a relatively big family.

    All I ever wanted to do, even when I was still at school, was to get married and have children.

    If my husband was willing, I would have had more.

    1. I understand, KAK.

      Just last night after church, some friends we’re asking if our third baby was an “accident.” I told them he wasn’t, and joked that everyone would think better of us if he was 😉

      There are only 15 months between our two youngest and most people give us plenty of sympathetic comments, which really does get old fast.

      It’s sad so many Christian people don’t understand why someone would want another baby and not more vacations, a bigger home, or bass boat.

      Sure I completely agree that lots of kids is hard work. I’m sure some of the ladies with a lot more than me could relate to it even better. But there’s never been anything in my life that’s taught me more about God and his love than my kids. And the more that my kids teach me the more I realize I want more kids!

  17. Posts like this are so sad but so true.I can only hope that these words are reaching women and changing their minds. Men as well, for they are being changed also in the way the world says they should be. We need Men!REAL men with beards and jobs and that come home happy and scoop us wives up in bliss.That put their hands on our ever growing bellies and super excited for another little son or daughter to add to our ever growing bunch. We need REAL women who will stand beside their husbands, under God’s grace, that are also thrilled to take these wonderful blessings on!

    Through our travels, we have visited lots of churches and I have to say….not one has looked at our ever growing family and seemed happy with our decision.There were ALWAYS negative comments inside those church walls. Families were always told to take the children to the childrens’ rooms and there is never teachings for wives to respect their husbands or staying at home. I have never seen it!!I would love to go to a church that spoke of such things!!

    Seek real men, ladies!! They are out there. Wait for them..I can honestly say that I have a wonderful, caring, (scoop my pregnant belly and all when he gets off of work), up kinda mountain man that absolutely loves me and Jesus!!He is proud to walk the town with us and in turn helps me feel that way also! We have 8 children and counting!I couldn’t be happier! I get to wake up and do this everyday!Again and again…..and it’s simply wonderful😁

    Washing clothes, hanging them on the line, baking bread, homeschooling and reading the Bible to our children, scrubbing my floors, working in our garden, helping my children catch ladybugs and fireflies,cleaning up messy faces, menu planning, playing outside with the children and watching them run through fresh morning dew grass,all while I am barefoot and pregnant. I’m so happy. I’m so content and truly feel this is right.

    These children are amazing…and I get to be apart of this and can only pray that there are more in our future!

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