Being Mocked For Serving One’s Husband
A woman in the chat room alerted me that I was on Diply and told me she prayed for me. I had never heard of this site before but found it easily. It’s not a Christian site but the author of the article wrote, “A Christian blogger is facing major criticism after a Facebook post encouraging women to find majority of their joy doing housework and submitting to one’s husband.” I am not sure which post he was referring to since I write about this topic often and he didn’t link to it. He also said the name of my blog was The Transformed Housewife! 🙂
What I found entertaining about it were some of the comments. Of course, most of them on Facebook mocked me for suggesting a wife should cheerfully serve her husband but there were many who didn’t. I copied some of them to share with you. It would be great if all people shared the following opinions – that if someone doesn’t agree with something online, then simply move on instead of harass and bully those whom they disagree with.
“How horrible that she should want to make his life as easy and happy as possible!! (Sarcasm) Don’t wives want husbands to make their lives easy and happy? (Not sarcasm)”
“Women in the middle east are being burned alive, and you’re up in arms about a Christian blogger who is encouraging people to be cheerful about doing housework?! ?♀️”
“Her life, her choice, her God. My perception differs so her blog is not my go to. Who cares. Live and let live, less anger, less stress!”
“Why do people feel the need to find fault? If this makes her happy so be it. Nothing she is doing has any effect on their lives.”
“Words of wisdom given to me once when I was feeling pretty resentful and struggling to find my way upon reconciling with my husband after an 18-month separation…’treat him like a king and he will treat you like a queen.’ We’ve been together (mostly) for 33 years and married 23 years. My opinion on this: Worry about yourself. Who cares what other people do? If you think this is too 1950s for you then scroll along. It’s not your marriage.”
“And I bet they have been married for years [38 years and counting!] and are happy [yep!]. Nowadays people have different babies: daddy’s and momma’s. I wonder why?”
“This isn’t a 1950’s thing; it’s the Godly thing. We allow the world to change our beliefs instead of following God’s beliefs. Worldly views are toxic to the soul.”.
“I don’t agree with everything this woman has to say, but she does have a lot of good points. I serve my husband. I clean the house, cook meals, take care of him and our kids. In turn, he works 14 plus hour days, works in the cold and extreme heat while the kids and I are in air conditioning or a warm home. We have nice clothes, a car and home and so much more that he provides us with. He has missed milestones and holidays so that I don’t have to. I get the option to stay home and raise our kids. It’s a partnership. We both bring something to the table and I think that’s what some people miss when reading this. Make him happy to to come home and sad to leave. I know this isn’t a reality for everyone. I’m realistic. Do what works for you and your family. If this isn’t it, then it’s not meant for you, so move on.”
“Ugh. I have some feminist views. But come on people! I’ve been with my husband since I was 20. Bought a house when he was 22 and I was 21 and I’ve always been the one to clean and cook. By 21, I started staying home with kiddos. Now with seven kids and I’m still the one that keeps up with cleaning and cooking and mowing, most of the laundry, etc. If you can’t understand that it’s about who has the time to do it then don’t get married, don’t have kids. Give life 100 percent. Stop fussing over it and just do it!”
“Anyone ever heard of the book, The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands? Read it; it will save marriages. If you’re stubborn and are not interested in giving your all to a man in marriage, don’t get married.”
“What’s the big deal? They want to live like that, that’s their thing. I think we could all do with going back to some old-fashioned values. Maybe not as this women but there is nothing wrong with wanting to serve your husband if that’s what you want.”
“I was criticized extensively for catering to my husband. While it’s not 24/7 hand and foot service, having his lunch packed, tea ready, work clothes (he wears a uniform) ready and meals ready, it is something I feel he deserves. I get to stay home, teach our children, and run a small farm. If it helps him to go those few extra steps when he’s working up to 70 hrs a week, I’m more than happy to make his life a bit easier and less stressful.”
…but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.
1 Corinthians 7:34
20 thoughts on “Being Mocked For Serving One’s Husband”
Stay strong and uphold your convictions! Resist succumbing to the “Nasty Women” belittling your efforts to have an upright family and serve your husband! Being “the boss” is not the pinnacle of humanity, being a humble servant has its own rich rewards and leaves its own lasting legacy.
Woman criticize you I believe because they were raised that way. Their momma probably did not have respect and gratitude toward her husband and she passed it on. If women are following God’s word then they will know because there are scriptures God gives for women and their role to their husband! It is just rebellion in my opinion. I listen to several people tell me that by doing what my husband ask me to do I looked like a little kid following instruction. But they always looked miserable to me and complained.
I used to listen to foolish women who talked negative about their husband and tell me what I should do. I thought they were more spiritual than me. They looked and played the role as the Godly wife. I later knew different by their conversation. Stay away! It will corrupt you and your marriage. I can say marriage Is not always easy but when you obey the Lord and your husband everything works out better and is much Sweeter!
God did create us to serve.
Mark 9:35 “And he sat down and called the twelve. And he said to them, “If anyone would be first, he must be last of all and servant of all.”
Why would we not serve the ones closest and near to us?
Unfortunately some of us have been taken advantage of and mistreated by our husbands and lends us to be very cautious in letting our guard down long enough to have a servants heart in our closest relationships but that does not change what Jesus said is best. So through prayer and healing I pray we would all have a servants heart with everyone under our influence.
Looked over the site Diply, and it could be called Dimwitted, since it’s full of these shallow types of people and ideas. It’s full of the usual media and school nonsense about women being the slaves of men by going to college, getting a job, and avoiding children. The ideas promoted are so meaningless and carnal, and have virtually no interest for a spiritual person. Glad there were reasonable people on there who came to your defense, Lori.
The people controlling Fakebook and the media are predominantly very wealthy libertine men, who despise Christianity. So they use their money and power to spread their sexist and misogynistic view of women to the entire world, while screeching that women who marry and have children are slaves, and men who expect this are sexist and misogynist. Incredible hypocrisy. So, these wealthy and powerful men cut off their destiny, and seek to destroy America and the world as well. Incredible that liberals are destroying the future of their ideas by practicing porn, contraception, and abortion. Sad. No one even needs to argue with them. Simply let them continue doing what they do, and if Christians obey God, the battle is already won.
??? I wonder what these angry women would say if they visited my home country in East Africa. Over there, regardless of his station in life, his wealth or lack there of, his looks, his faith etc; the man is the king of his castle. His wife kneels on both knees to greet him when he returns from work and generally avoids addressing him whilst standing up, preferring to kneel in his presence as a symbol of respect. His daughters do the same as do his younger sisters and other female relatives. The man works very hard outside the home and it’s laughable to think of him knowing where the kitchen is or changing a nappy.
The mother trains the children to be calm and quiet when father is home so that he can rest and relax. He often takes interest in the children but they know their place in the family hierarchy and they clean up and keep order out of respect for father. I remember growing up, we used to sit around the table and after saying grace, my mother would plate food for my father first then we would take turns passing the various dishes round. Once we visited a new bride at about 5pm and she was a gracious hostess and sat with us and offered us refreshments. At about 5:45pm she got up and went into a flurry of activity explaining that her husband was nearly home (my father and mother were his guests that evening) and that she liked to have his favorite drink ready when he got home.
She readied a side table next to his arm chair, brought in a beautiful coaster and poured a drink into a lovely glass and placed a cover over it. When he walked in, he sank into his seat, and without looking, reached for his drink as a matter of habit. We talked about it in the car on the way back home and my mother praised that young bride to high heavens for honouring her husband. That image was seared on my mind and now I draw inspiration from it to spoil my husband rotten and I delight in treating him like royalty because every man is a king in his castle. If many of these non Christian African women know instinctively how to honour and serve their husbands, how much more is expected of us Christian wives?
Praise the Lord that there are women like you out there.
Here in the UK it is getting harder and harder to live the way God says we should and I feel very much in the minority. God bless you and your family
Thank you, Hayley! Thankfully, there will always be a remnant of those who want to follow the Lord and His ways.
Wow! What a powerful example of being a living sacrifice to serve others!
Hayley – as another UK based Christian I agree wholeheartedly but I suspect it is true the world over.
I really do question what happened in such short time in the West. We went from women who were birthing families of 13 children (4 generations ago, one of my matriarchs was one of over 20 children.. during a potato famine no less!), and as a mark of pride, kept a house so in order they were happy to report their husband never lifted a finger while he was home. He went off into the world everyday refreshed and with a love-tank full of joy thanks to his wife, and he provided for her and the family.
Women yearned for husbands, children and keeping house. And they were no slouches in any of these areas. It was a point of pride in women to fulfill their husband’s needs, raise his family, keep his home. They met their responsibilities head-on. “My husband does not know how to change a diaper” was a complement to a woman rather than a degrading insult to a man.
2-4 generations later, women are having record number (each year a new record) of children out of wedlock, instigating over 80% of all divorces, chasing jobs and longer hours, and having less children than needed to sustain population levels. Women of today are weaksauce compared to the women of yesterday. ‘You want only 2 babies? Ma’am, the conversation STARTS at 4. I’ll pass, thank you.’
I look at old black and white photos of the women on both sides of my family from the early, early 1900s. They are in the gardens of their farms or the suburbs of industrial towns with swarms of children around them, thin and naturally beautiful (raising a small army will keep you active and time around those young creatures will keep you joyful), smiling from ear to ear. Beauties? Yes. Babes? Absolute hotties! I talk to my elders now in their late 80s and 90s who lived through economic depressions and world wars and all the patriarch swoon to this day over their wives. To a living man, they are smitten with the woman by their side.
The SJW ‘creatures’ of today are obese, tattooed, pierced, dyed-hair, angry at everything and everyone. Victimhood is preached, freedom from men is preached, attending marches for causes of manufactured outrage.. is it not obvious to anyone with a modicum of objective insight that women of today are utterly, to-the-core miserable? And the advice offered by these women will surely not lead to any fulfillment in life.
God made woman to be a helpmeet. Her joy will be found where her role has been ordained.
* Have a personal walk with the Creator (Rev 3:20)
* Find a husband (2 Cor 6:14). Doing it younger is better (Peter speaks to growth of selfishness with age).
* Serve him as your earthly lord- little ‘L’ (1 Cor 11:3, Col 3:18).
* Have babies, as many as your hips can bear, and then maybe 1 more for good measure (Gen 1:28).
* Raise the family, keep the home (Prov 31:27).
* Wake up every day fulfilled and joyful (Prov 31:28).
Arrive at the Pearly Gates and be welcomed Home by Christ telling you ‘well done, my good and faithful servant’.
This post is very timely for me; I’m not married, (yet!) but as I’m learning and preparing to serve and submit to my husband (currently just boyfriend) someday, and at present just trying to make him happy by treating him with love and respect (it can be hard to navigate how best to serve him as we’re in a long distance relationship, but baked goods sent in care packages have worked well) but whenever I mention any of it to anyone else they think I’m a crazy extremist, or worse, some kind of submission fetishist. I try to explain that I’m simply trying to follow what Scripture teaches, but the fact that I’ve previously been a sort of loud obnoxious type, and am trying very hard to change to be a good wife someday, I think makes people not buy my reasoning. They’re very fond of trying to put me back in my place.
I love this!
I’m not sure why this tends to upset others so much but I am some-what of a closet submissive wife to my husband because of the ridicule from family/friends. Also my husband says that he feels bad in front of his friends if I serve him and take care of him because they will think he is an awful husband! However the people who mock are the ones who don’t seem to be very happy in their marriages.
Hayley and Susanne, greetings from the Channel Islands, your neighbours down south. Take heart my sisters, God always keeps a remnant for Himself. Remember when Elijah thought that all of God’s prophets had been executed leaving only him?
1 Kings 19:18 “Yet I have left me seven thousand in Israel, all the knees which have not bowed unto Baal, and every mouth which hath not kissed him.”
Great comment, and so very true about American women of yesteryear. I frequently read about the women of over 100 years ago in America, and my heart is deeply saddened, as I look at the women we see today. Yet, the responsibility for the culture lies with us men. If we do not boldly and publicly proclaim the right way, and allow the lying media and schools to drown out our voices about what biblical woman hood is, then we have ourselves alone to blame for our fate.
That said, it is fantastic to have women like Lori and many other women on here, who boldly, in a world of distorted views of women, proclaim the right, Godly, and true role of women in the world.
mother followed after feminism when it infiltrated our church in the 1970’s. she raised us w/o home and life skills. she only wanted to dress us pretty, send us to the salon, and tell everyone we were on the honor roll at school. she put down her husband along w/the other church women. she complained constantly about homemaking even though she kept a nice home. she and other women made fun of their own mothers who were faithful and talented homemakers. then our church opened a daycare and put her to work. I had to gain all my homemaking skills from my grandparents and the internet. now after 20 plus yrs at home, my skill level is quite high. we are raising our boys to have life/home/survival skills. we homeschool and integrate this in with the daily academics. we see the poor results of public school and feminized churches in our extended families. we pray that more people will join in reviving the old ways to save our country and young people. thanks for writing about these issues.
I LOVE your blog! And I LOVE serving my sweet husband. First, it’s just second nature to me. Why would I take care of everyone else in my house and leave him out? That’s mean! Second, my mom-who was single by no choice of her own-once told me (when I huffed about picking up dirty clothes) “even in these things, be joyful and cheerful that you HAVE a husband to serve!”
Changed my perspective!
What a wise mother you have, Katie!
I love African culture and people! African people are nice!
On Gary Thomas’ blog he said “The way Lisa (his wife) treats me might make some young women nauseous, because she serves me like we’re living in a 1950s sitcom.”
I posted a very simple comment that was censored and never appeared in the comments section: “Why would they be nauseous? Why not inspired?”
I laughed when I realized the comment was removed by moderation because most of the readers of his blog are women and he is very careful not to run comments that put pressure on his readers or stoke resentment.
But he holds himself and his family out as role models because he is a so-called marriage expert in the Christian world. So why wouldn’t he want his wife’s behavior to be inspiring rather than nauseating?