Some women have informed me that their husbands are to meet their emotional and mental needs, BUT for some reason, women aren’t supposed to meet their husbands’ sexual needs, unless sex is dictated by how they believe sex should be and when they’re in the mood. Yes, women, this is how many women think these days. Instead of living sacrificial lives, they decide on how their husbands are to love and treat them. This is NOT love.
I wrote the following on my Facebook page the other day when a woman told me that men are supposed to meet their wives’ mental and emotional needs:
“There’s NO biblical command for men to meet their wives’ mental and emotional needs. When they do try to do this, they are like a hamster on a wheel going around and around. I know. My husband tried doing this with me for many years, as I expected him to meet these needs.
“Women become wise when they are led by the Truth of God’s Word rather than by their emotions and feelings. Focus on doing what God has commanded you to do instead of setting unrealistic goals for your husband to achieve before deciding to become a good wife.”
I had all of these ideas in my head what kind of a husband Ken was supposed to be and how he was supposed to treat me, but he simply didn’t measure up in my opinion. Therefore, I was constantly angry and upset with him.
Did you know that many women don’t even know what their mental and emotional needs are? Women are more depressed and suicidal than ever before, and it’s not because their husbands aren’t meeting their emotional and mental needs. Many of them aren’t even married! What are God’s commands to men concerning their wives?
“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.” (Ephesians 5:25-28)
Husbands are to love their wives. Love is patient and kind, and all of the good things listed in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. They are to teach the Word of God to their wives by reading it to them, exhorting them with Truth, and rebuking them when need be. They are also commanded to provide for and protect their wives. They are not to deprive their wives sexually. A husband can be doing all of these things but still be unable to meet his wife’s emotional and mental needs, since these are arbitrary and dictated by each wife.
Do you know when I found my emotional and mental needs met? When I immersed myself in God’s Word and allowed His Word to transform my mind. When I practiced taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. Now, I don’t expect my husband to meet my emotional and mental needs, because Christ has met them all for me! I am secure in Him. I am a new creature in Christ, dead and freed from sin (Romans 6). I can now walk in the Spirit and do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me. His Spirit works mightily within me.
It actually takes a strong woman to be a godly woman and to submit to and obey her husband. This isn’t for the weak women who demand their own way and for those who want their husband to meet these unattainable goals that the wives set for them.
Dear women, allow the Lord to meet your emotional and mental needs. He will give you everything you need for life and godliness. Your husband can’t do this. Sure, he can point you in the right direction, but it’s only you who can decide to commit your lives to the Lord and His will for you. It’s only you who can take His Word from your head and put it into your heart. Then, the Lord will do a transforming work in your life. You will be a secure, stable woman of God who is not easily offended and loves all of God’s commands to you.
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
2 Timothy 1:7