Childfree is Freedom?
“Not all women want children. For me, it sounds like the worst deal like drawing the short straw of life. The man gets to have it all: a family, a higher education, a fulfilling career, free time, free will, friends. But the woman? Must stay home forever and only raise children, be a servant, and clean the house. No, thank you. Childfree is freedom.” (Tiffany on Facebook)
My response to Tiffany: “You’ve bought the evil feminist agenda hook, line, and sinker. You would rather be a slave to a career, boss, and paycheck than lovingly serving your husband and children. Sad.”
Emily’s response to Tiffany: “It’s no accident you think that. The school system and the media have spent your entire life hiding the truth from you. Like most modern women, without the influence of God’s Word to show you the truth, you believe them.
“Those teachers, professors, movie actors, magazine article authors, and everything else you’re being exposed to won’t be there once you’ve lost all value to them. Once you no longer exist to consume and are 50 years old and not the latest model, they’ll forget you. Meanwhile, you’ll have made all the tragic choices they told you to and you’ll be very alone. Think of your workplace right now. You likely work with several women who match the description I just gave. Unwilling to admit they made the wrong choice, they’ll continue to use chemicals to medicate themselves while they encourage you to make the same choices that have left them feeling so terribly empty.”
Tiffany never responded. Praying seeds were planted.
Many women have written to me privately and told me when they first found my blog and read what I write, they hated my words. They disgusted them but they kept reading. Then, the words I wrote began to make sense to them. They’d never heard what I teach before. It was all foreign to them but the more they read, the more they liked. They began putting it to practice and love their lives now! They can see that God’s will is so much better for them than the feminist’s agenda.
They’ve been taught since the time they were little girls to “be something” when they grow up. Of course, the option of being a wife and mother is never mentioned and if a little girl mentions it, they will be immediately told they “need” a career just “in case.” So, they’ve been brainwashed with the feminist agenda since they were young and when they first read what I write, they’re repulsed. But if they have any wisdom left at all, the words begin to make sense and their heart longs for God’s perfect will for them.
There’s an article in The Federalist called Nine Reasons You Should Have a Baby This Year If You’re Young and Married. “The truth is, children are a reliably excellent investment in your long-term personal development and happiness. And you only have about a quarter of your adult life to make that investment. That, in a nutshell, is why, if you are young and married, you should consider having a baby this year.” Our children are our greatest treasures on this earth. They are the gift that keeps on giving – grandchildren!
The Federalist article is pretty good but I don’t agree with all of it, especially the warning of having babies after 35. I do think the warning of not putting off children after marriage for a woman’s career is a good one since fertility certainly doesn’t last forever. The longer she waits, the more difficult it is to get pregnant. Never take your fertility for granted, women! Fertility is a gift given to you by God.
There’s a woman on Facebook that has had twelve children and six children after the age of 35. She shared an article called You’re Allowed to Have a Baby After 35 which proves scientifically that it is good. As long as God gives you a period, then it’s good to have children. Yes, there’s always a chance of something going wrong even when a woman is young, but that’s because we live in a fallen world.
Childfree is freedom in the feminist’s mind. Freedom from what? Freedom from bearing children, then raising them in the nurture in the admonition of the Lord. Freedom from all of the laughter and cuddles mothers receive from their children. Freedom from having grandchildren in one’s old age to snuggle with. Childfree doesn’t sound like freedom to me. It’s sound like missing out on God’s best for women.
He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the LORD.
Psalm 113:9
33 thoughts on “Childfree is Freedom?”
Lori, theres a shortage of Christian men. The Church is robustly female hence falling to feminist dogma but where does that leave Christian women? You have many single Christian women desiring Chrisitan marriages but few men to make them with. Yesterdays post saw the response of a few women who made it to 35 without having found the right partner. What would you say to them? Christian men or men who grow up in Churches quite happily marry outside of them in order to have an educated wife who is prepared to financially contribute to their life. But this leaves women within the Church alone. Marriage with unbelievers is discouraged but sometimes I wonder if a Christian woman is better off marrying young to a non Christian with good values and remaining a practicing Chrisitan herself and raising her Children as such than whiling away years. One of the commenters yesterday suggested marrying a 35 year old virgin to a widower with children. This is the best a fellow Christian could suggest to a y ok king lady who has saved herself for decades in service to the Lord. The dwindling Church is so unfortunate the whole Christian family suffers because of it.
There will always be a remnant who are dedicated to loving the Lord and obeying Him. No, a Christian woman should never marry an unbeliever. This is a tragedy and every woman I know who has, regrets it terribly. There are good Christian men out there. There are good Christian families raising good children.
There is a shortage on both sides, the world is becoming more and more wicked. But settling is the worse thing you can do. Shortage of Godly women and men is an issue but also some have ridiculous high standards too that limit them and have them waiting longer than normal to marry. As long as they are christian and have the same strong beliefs on major doctrine get married guys all the little differences can and will be worked out. Just want to make sure you guys are growing each other in Christ daily.
““Those teachers, professors, movie actors, magazine article authors, and everything else you’re being exposed to won’t be there once you’ve lost all value to them. Once you no longer exist to consume and are 50 years old and not the latest model, they’ll forget you. Meanwhile, you’ll have made all the tragic choices they told you to and you’ll be very alone. Think of your workplace right now. You likely work with several women who match the description I just gave. Unwilling to admit they made the wrong choice, they’ll continue to use chemicals to medicate themselves while they encourage you to make the same choices that have left them feeling so terribly empty.””
This is so true. I’m very glad you and others responded to the lies this woman was believing. When you’re not young and beautiful anymore, the world forgets you. Even the once young and beautiful actresses complain of not getting anymore roles once they hit a certain age. Many women think they are going to be like Oprah, single and powerful. Those are the types of women the world holds up as attainable futures for women. In reality many of them will be hoping their nieces and nephews think enough of them to come around and visit them in the old folks home or they may start collecting cats to fill a hole.
The feminist agenda is a lie and anyone who propagates it is either short-sighted or hates women to the extent that they actually want them to be old and lonely.
“Thus says the Lord: ‘Stand by the roads, and look, and ask for the ancient paths, where the good way is; and walk in it, and find rest for your souls.'” Jeremiah 6:16
One of the scriptures I’ve been mulling over in my mind a lot lately. This really says it all. Culture and Modernism is on a downwards spiral away from the things that please God. What seems to give us pleasure and fulfillment on the surface will rot our bones and lead to death. If we want to experience true freedom and rest, we must seek out the things of God like our spiritual ancestors before us.
Thankfully, there will always be a remnant who searches out the ancient paths and the narrow way.
The shortage of unmarried Christian men in the American churches is real.
https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/shortage-young-men-churches-affects-marriage/
I married young, but found my husband at the Christian college we both attended. (Both our parents paid our tuition, so we’re debt free.) All my young-married friends met their spouses through their Christian colleges as well…I know many older Christian women who never found someone to marry, but greatly had that desire. 🙁 It’s true that college is SO expensive, but many marriages do come out of it.
My first thought was that this person didn’t have a grasp on reality. Men have it all? As I sit at my desk, doing what my manager needs to have done, being told when I must arrive and when I can leave, do I really have it all. When I get home, there are is an urgent home repair to complete. Freedom? Well, yes, but not the freedom indicated by Tiffany. It is the freedom I have in Christ. It is the freedom I have to care for my family. It is freedom in knowing every effort is worth it as I see my children living successful lives, making good choices, and following Christ. It takes effort, but the rewards are amazing.
I dont know. If a woman is adamant she does not want children then maybe she shouldn’t. Nothing worse than a resentful mother. Not my experience- I was very much wanted and loved. My friend wasn’t so lucky. Her mother made it clear that she had kids reluctantly and made her and her siblings lives hell. Now my friend doesn’t want kids because she is scared she will be like her mother. It’s so sad.
I have often said, the #1 and #2 happiest days of my life were the days my 2 sons were born!
Nine months of anticipation culminates in the grand finale with the birth of the baby! It is THE BIGGEST HIGH, I cant even describe it! When they place that baby in your arms, the joy and love is overwhelming. I have never had a life experience that exceeded it. Certainly not any work day in my life as a career woman…..EVER!
It’s all in the thinking, Caroline. This is why God wants older women teaching younger women. He wants younger women to renew their minds with truth.
Few of my college friends met their spouses in college and only one of my four children did so it’s definitely no guarantee. God doesn’t need women spending thousands of dollars they don’t have in order to find a godly spouse!
Sad women are brainwashed to think that children are a burden, enslavement and worst of all, their lives are a “choice” to be disposed of at will when inconvenient…
Tiffany is conceptualizing children in terms of “things that add/take pleasure from my life.” This is unfair to children, who are people in their own right.
Also: Having children is no guarantee of happiness, but a life spent pursuing only happiness is doomed to failure. See Ecclesiastes. There’s a reason that I know of no catechism which states that our purpose in life is to be happy.
Beautiful article, Lori.
Yesterday, happened to be in a supermarket, and came across an attractive, vivacious young woman who was a checker. She had a bright smile, and an optimistic attitude, which is appealing.
100 years ago, talking to her, and pursuing her fit marriage was wise, but, sad to say, today, with 95% of women favoring birth control, it’s often better to save yourself the pain and heartbreak, and don’t pursue them. 95% of women who are single, attractive and under 40, have a vision of some rich hunk who will marry them, and will support them and let them do whatever they want, traveling, wining, dining, and no children. It’s disgusting that the women of America have been so brainwashed by the CFR controlled media, schools, and tech companies.
It goes up to the most powerful men in America, who rarely fail to be selfish libertines. Bill Gates, Weinstein, Epstein, Buffett (who is a wretched ingrate who became angry with his wife when she visited him in the hospital and didn’t turn the pages of his Playboy fast enough for his tastes, THE AUDACITY OF THAT DEGENERATE LECHER!), celebrities, singers, actors, professional sports players, Carlos Slim, Mark Zuckerberg (started Fakebook with an app rating women on their hotness on a scale of 1-10, a libertine pervert), Dorsey, the Rockefeller’s, Bezos, and the rest of the powerful and corrupt, plutocrat globalists, who, like Pharaoh, are willing to destroy America, by reducing her birth rate. They have created a culture of misery and death. God gives us a culture of life and joy.
This is OT, but I thought you might find it interesting; a child was abused by his daycare provider and now is experiencing major problems in kindergarten.
https://slate.com/human-interest/2020/01/when-child-is-nightmare-at-school.html
The letter-writer came onto the comments section and explained, “n December, another worker came forward and made a complaint against the care provider about how she treated various children. My son was 9 months old at the time and the events she reported went as far back as September and included things such as shaking, pushing his face into his crib when he wouldn’t lay his head down to nap, forcefully trying to get him to take a bottle to the extent that his mouth bled. There were other claims but it was all along the same lines as “this is not how you deal with a young infant.” A police report was filed, an investigation proceeded and in the end, there was not enough physical evidence to prosecute as there were no cameras in the facility and there were no pictures of injuries. ”
I am sure that this is a rare occurrence, but what a nightmare for the poor parents to deal with! The people they trusted to care for their baby mistreated him, with long-lasting consequences.
No, marrying an unbeliever is worse. Why would you go against God’s word? He has never lied or failed.
Instead of focusing on what you need or deserve, look to the provider and thank Him for his wonderful provision!
How can a woman not want hugs and kisses from a sweet son or daughter? How can a woman not want to see joy on children’s faces when their daddy comes home from work and they exclaim ” Daddy’s home!? How can a woman not want to experience gathering teacups, a teapot and treats and have a lovely afternoon tea with her children?
Freedom from love is what she means. Feminism is opposed to love by definition.
That’s a very good way to put it.
Why would pursuing a woman for the possibility of marriage even be on a man’s radar before they even spoke to her outside of a work setting?
Of course she’s upbeat-it’s called customer service.
I encourage my teenage daughter to be optimistic and smile brightly in her service field as well, but not to be scoped out by adult men.
Men should focus on women’s hearts and dispositions-when they open with physical descriptions followed by their youth when they themselves are getting along in years, it comes across as a bit creepy.
And, then the “what’s the point of even trying, she must be among the 95% of THOSE women”, without even 1 date to find out where said woman stands on any principle, to seemingly illicit pity that they remain single is a tired argument.
Attempt to meet a single woman in church (close to your age who will find you physically appealing, too) and/or move out of a progressive area (especially CA or large metropolitan area) if at all possible. Yes, God does promise to give us a culture of life and joy, but no guarantees for this earthly life, and I see very little of either coming from any aforementioned areas, except for Lori and her ministry! 🙂
Like Lori and others have mentioned, a remnant remains, but let’s be reasonable. Are women going to be attracted to men 15, 20 or more years older? We can’t turn back the hands of time and relive our adolescent and early twenties. Women (married & single) are continually encouraged to follow scripture for Biblical womanhood here-men, I urge you to not take single women out of the running if they’re not attractive, vivacious, and young. Seek characteristics that align with Lori’s teaching-there are faithful women out there, praying just as hard for a godly husband. Of course women should take care of themselves, but most women can relate to that guy from our youth that was quick to overlook us simply because we didn’t measure up in artificial compartments and how hurtful that felt. When those guys marry the wrong girl for the wrong reasons and end up dumped down the road or never find love due to unrealistic expectations of model beauty, I have trouble empathizing with the outcome.
Perhaps Montesquieu would enjoy speaking with Whitney from an earlier post? From her comment, she sounds like she faithfully walks with the Lord and is walking in truth, waiting on God’s provision.
I agree, Dana! Only after accepting Jesus and the peace and joy I experienced, my wedding day, and the birthdays of my children are the best days of the thousands I’ve lived. It’s exciting to imagine how much joy awaits us when we’re in the eternal presence of our Savior when He graciously gives us little glimpses by blessing us here on earth.
Thank you so much for your comment because I know I’m not alone. I’m a 21 year old young woman who has never even had a boyfriend! It’s heartbreaking for me because even though I understand I’m still young, I really fear that I won’t be able to find a godly man. There are NONE at my church. I would give everything up just to be married to a godly man and have children as soon as possible. I’ve even thought about marrying an unbeliever too but I’ve repented from that mindset. However, it is really tempting. Please pray for me that I would submit to God and that a godly man will come into my life!
Whilst I believe that marriage is for (amongst other things) procreation and that birth control is a sin, the Federalist article is a wonderful one from a more secular viewpoint.
Rebecca. Have faith you will find a Godly man ! Keep yourself for him and look forward to many years of motherhood !
I agree that no one should be sending the message that a 35 year old virgin needs to look to men her father’s age in order to find a husband! She should be able to find a young man in her own age group so that her children can have two relatively young and energetic parents. An older man in his 50s or 60s may not want any more children at his stage in life, and she shouldn’t have to settle for a life without what she wants.
Rebecca, I was like you. No Christian men around me at all. I prayed God would send me a spouse as I ordered my life to be as ready as I could be. I heard about a reformed Christian dating website so I joined and there was only one man on it within an hour of where I lived. We are now very happily married with two children so far! We were by a big city too where strong Christian’s are very scarce.
Great points! We should seek out partners based on their attitudes and beliefs, not youth and beauty, which is fleeting
I am so blessed with all the positive comments about motherhood.
I am blessed with 6 children and GOD used them daily to work in every area of my life in order to bring me to perfection.
Coming from a third world country, my goal was to have a big career since I speak three languages.
My husband and I met GOD in the United of America.
My husband asked me to be a stay at home mother, it was not easy for me at first,but GOD made me realize that I was where HE wanted me to be.
Since then, I enjoyed taking care of my children and my husband, spending days loading and unloading washing machine, cooking, loving, caring, comforting, cleaning.
It may seems weird for today’s women.
But I truly enjoy it, since it rejoices my heavenly Father. I am pleased.
It’s not always easy, but I surrender myself to HIM.
35 year old men don’t marry 35 year old women and never will. You may think this is unfair, but that’s the way it is. 35 year old men with a decent career and faith are very “in demand” and they want a woman who is 27 at most. They have perfectly good reasons for having that expectation.
I was 35 when I married, and yes my wife was 26. I would not even consider dating a woman over 30. When my son gets older I will advise him to have the same approach.
I think we DO need to send the message that 35-year-old virgins should look to older men, because that’s the only reality. We need to (gently) help them understand what is and is not possible. Otherwise before you know it, they’ll be a 45-year old virgin and they’ve lost every opportunity.
Yes. Just take her statements and everyplace she says “child” put the word “love”.
“LOVE” is so much trouble
“LOVE” will get in the way of my travel schedule
“LOVE” will prevent me from having a career
Feminism is all about getting rid of love…because Feminism is run by lesbians who hate, hate, hate.
This is very good, Bill!
And 35 year old women don’t want to marry 58 year old men. That’s just the way it sometimes. 27 year olds virgin women will not be looking for 40-something year old men. That’s where the 35 year olds come in! No 35 year old virgin woman should have to be encouraged to marry an elderly man (6 years away from geriatric age!) for the sake of getting her married off. Women have preferences and standards of choosing the man they will submit to.
I am one of those kids who came from such a home. I didn’t have kids because I knew I wouldn’t be a good or happy father. I didn’t want to take the high risk of putting some poor kid through what I endured.
Abuse tends to be generational. My parents were abused by their parents, who were abused by their parents, and so on.
Parenthood isn’t for everyone. Does it get lonely sometimes? Yes. But I’m also at peace knowing there will be no more suffering kids on my watch, and knowing my true home lies beyond this life. The Lord saw His true family as spiritual. The next life is when I will have a family.