Dealing With a Messy Husband
Yes, there are women who are married to messy husbands. These husbands come home from a long day at work and have no interest in doing any housework or even cleaning up after themselves. After all, they married a help meet for a reason! I know, many women don’t look at it this way and their messy husbands drive them crazy. What are they to do?
Here are a few comments left on my Facebook page by women yesterday concerning this issue:
“The Transformed Wife, it is inconsiderate of the HUSBAND to just leave a mess around CARELESSLY 24/7. Just as the wife would be considered as inconsiderate if she did something like that, am I right?”
“The Transformed Wife, if a man can’t look after himself and refuses to, then he isn’t a man. So yes, divorce him. I want a husband, not a son.”
“The Transformed Wife, if a husband refuses to love his wife by being courteous and picking up after himself, and she has lovingly addressed the situation with him, then the husband is in unrepentant sin, and a woman should seek the advice of church elders who are in authority over her husband. It’s quite simple. The sin needs to be addressed and repented of, regardless of gender. Unrepentant sin is what leads to marital breakdown.”
I can tell you that the godly women from the chat room had entirely different views about this issue. (Oh, how I love the wisdom from godly women.)
“I wonder how well those elders can make the husband pick up after himself? Many of the elders may be messy too. There are women struggling with husbands who abuse, fail to provide, husbands with ongoing addictions, and those who commit marital unfaithfulness. Although messiness and inconsideration is annoying, most ‘picking up’ can be done in a few minutes. This verse comes to mind: ‘If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men’ (Romans 12:18).” (Judy)
“She’s basically saying that if the husband won’t do women’s work by cleaning up the house after himself, he’s sinning. Where exactly in the Bible is it written ‘Thou shalt pick up your own mess?’ I can’t seem to find it.” (Lindsay)
“She needs to humble herself and submit to her husband. #jezabelspirit” (Jessica)
My mom had a good friend who was constantly getting after her husband for not picking up after himself. He worked hard to provide for his family and was exhausted when he came home. After years of heckling him over his messiness, one day he simply broke down and sobbed during another one of her tirades. She decided right then and there that she was never going to nag him about picking up after himself again and she didn’t. She willingly picked up after him. She decided that it wasn’t worth destroying her marriage over. Now, she has Alzheimer and he lovingly cares for her.
“When a husband refuses to clean up messes, even after his wife has brought it to his attention, then he has made the executive decision, as head of his household, that his wife should be the one to do that cleaning up. The wife should honor this and do it herself, without complaining.
“Imagine the impertinence of a child being told to wash the dishes and telling his mother that she needs to wash her own dishes and when the mother does not, he tells the mother that she is in unrepentant sin. No, it’s not sin for the mother to delegate that task to her child. She is in authority over him and he should obey. In the same way, it is not sin for the husband to delegate the task of cleaning up the house to his wife, regardless of who made the mess. He has that authority. It is impertinent and rebellious for the wife to insist that her husband has to do that chore. She doesn’t get to decide which chores he does. She doesn’t have that authority. She’s not the boss. Her husband is.” (Lindsay Harold)
God created wives to be their husbands’ help meets, to be keepers at home, and submit to their husbands in everything. I agree with Lindsay. If he doesn’t want to clean up after himself, so what, women? If he’s a good provider, faithful, and loves you and your children, be thankful and cheerfully clean up after him! Even if he isn’t all of those things, you may win him by choosing to care for him in this way without quarreling.
If wives can’t clean up after their husbands because they believe their husbands are being “disrespectful” to them for being “slobs,” they have forgotten what Christ did for them (remember – being crucified on a cross) and what He said: “The greatest of all is the servant of all.” True love bears ALL things.
Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
46 thoughts on “Dealing With a Messy Husband”
“The Transformed Wife, if a man can’t look after himself and refuses to, then he isn’t a man. So yes, divorce him. I want a husband, not a son.”
While not the primary focus of your article, this breaks my heart, partly because I have seen the destruction of divorce in my wife’s family and also because the church seems to be accepting of divorce in situations clearly outside of any biblical basis. It amazes and shocks me that people would throw away their marriage for so little.
Agree with Lindsay here. Would it would be nice if a husband helps around the house and picks up after himself? Sure but its not his role and if he tells his wife he’s not or tells her to clean then she needs to joyfully submit. He is in authority and makes the decisions. Wives live peacefully with your husbands. There shouldn’t be arguments, nagging, complaining, etc. Obey your husband and let others see the Gospel in your marriage.
When I was growing up in the eighties there were women like this. My mum found them annoying and petty. Selfish as well. So your husband drops a towel on the floor or muddies the kitchen floor after working a 12 hour shift? So what! Grow up and be grateful you aren’t doing long shifts at a job you hate like many husband’s are and the only thing you have to worry about is muddy floors and wet towels on the floor.
Just saw you did an interview! It was great check it out guys! Much needed and bless that young man for doing the interviewing as well.
Sadly many are so tied up in what they have to do, while give no thought to what their husbands had to do at work all day!
I found that part to be shocking and saddening as well, Chris. I can’t believe someone would suggest divorce and basically throwing their spouse away because he is a little messy. I live with my parents right now and there are times when my dad will leave a mess in an area like the bathroom and it is frustrating, but I’m not going to disown him as my dad! And we’re not even in a covenant relationship!
My situation is a little different, but I still obey my husband. It’s only happened a handful of times in our 29 years of marriage, but sometimes when my husband gets super frustrated about something, he will purposefully kick over or dump the kitchen trash can contents onto the floor. This has only happened 5-6 times, and he always feels bad later.
It is the expectation that I clean up after this. I willingly do so even though it is frustrating.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining about my husband. He’s a good hardworking man. Sometimes he gets frustrated — or maybe I made him angry in some way and it’s my fault. It’s a good lesson to me not to nag him.
But when he sees me being obedient even in this situation, it is a good thing.
Hmmm. I believe I disagree here. Cleaning the house is different than common courtesy: wiping pee off the toilet seat, putting a tissue in the garbage, picking up dropped food/garbage you on the ground, thanking and acknowledging others, etc.
I would be appalled if a Christian mother did not teach manners to her son, simply because they thought he would have a future wife to follow him around with a trash bin or Clorox wipe.
I guess if your husband does not pick up after himself, and you have asked him to, you cannot really do anything further without nagging. I’m not sure what the solution would be, and I think you would just have to pray diligently that he did not act that way in public or at work (jeopardizing his ability to provide for your family).
I think the solution is to teach your sons (and any children) good habits. When you take something out to play with, put it away. When you make a mess of body fluids, clean it up. When you drop garbage, dispose of it. When someone does something to help you, say thank you. Sloth and pride are clearly sins. Thinking you are too “good” to throw away your own tissue or clean up your own fluids is pride. Thinking that because you worked hard means you do not need to make an effort to be courteous to others is sloth. Children can learn this, and hopefully that would transfer into marriage as well. A good habit to teach your children is that if it can be done in one minute, just do it right away!
If wives can’t clean up after their husbands because they believe their husbands are being “disrespectful” to them for being “slobs,” they have forgotten what Christ did for them (remember – being crucified on a cross) and what He said: “The greatest of all is the servant of all.”
I love this. It gave me my next “level” in becoming selfless in my marriage and regaining my husbands affections that were lost during my years of nagging and ridicule. I’m challenged to become more humble to become great. “ONLY by PRIDE comes contentions.” Women are too prideful to become servants, Jesus had and still has a servants heart. He told us to do the same. I want to submit my heart to HIM, and teach my baby daughter to do the same, and then WATCH how He HONORS my prayers!
Dear Lori,
Your blog is incredibly inspiring and I read it almost everytime I have a conflict with my husband or get upset about my life in general. It always provides me with some perspective. I have a dilemma and I was wondering if I could perhaps ask you how to move forward. I have prayed and talked to my husband and read the bible. But sometimes it helps to hear another godly woman’s perspective. I have a daughter who is 18 and finishing high school. For a long time she didn’t want to go to college, she wants a baby more than anything. She also recently started dating (a christian boy from a good family) and is truly considering starting a family with him in the future. But recently the pressure and comments of her classmates and teachers have been getting to her to have a career and suddenly she wants to go to college and study home ec. I, and my husband, are very conflicted about this. On the one hand, it is good to have a back up plan and job experience nowadays and home ec could certainly be helpful in the home. On the other hand, we can’t afford a christian university, don’t want her to be in debt with student loans. I am also very afraid that she only wants to go to college because of the other kids and will not be happy there (she was never good at school). Ever since this all started she has become angry and refuses to do anything around the house anymore. Everytime we try to talk to her about it she lashes out and says she can study anything she wants and that girls can do anything they want. I know God will lead her down the right path, but I dont want my daughter to have a bad life. Any advice would be appreciated.
God bless you all.
Jeanne
If I were you, Jeanne, I wouldn’t pay for any of her college education. To go to college to get a home ed. degree is a complete waste of time and money. She can learn all of this through videos and even by you, I am sure. If she wants to pursue this path, she will have to pay for it. At 18 years old, she has the freedom to make her own choices but you don’t have to support them. Pray for her! Pray she will be wise and stop wanting the ways of the world.
While you pick after your husband (or children) pray for them…
Dirty socks on the floor…”Lord, please protect my husband wherever he goes. ”
Empty cups and plates left around the house… “Thank you Lord that have plenty to eat, and help us to be self-controlled in our eating.”
Muddy footprints on the floor.. “Thank you Lord, that my husband does the needed chores around the house. Please help him to remember to take off his shoes when he comes in so out flooring won’t be damaged.”
Empty toilet paper roll… “Thank you for indoor plumbing! Please help me not to nag.”
Etc.
Totally agree with Lori here. If she wants to make a bad decision let her make it on her own. Do not pay for her schooling. Pray for her because this is not a wise decision.
You can’t deny that lack of manners (when one knows proper manners in other settings) is disrespectful.
I would never assume a husband should do a wife’s job. It is not Biblical. But treating others as you would like to be treated is Biblical, as well as avoiding sins of sloth and pride. Speaking the truth in love is sometimes needed.
And I did say, you cannot change your husband if he refuses to have manners. However, you can teach your children manners so they will not act the same way in their own marriage.
I do not think a wife should refuse to pick up after her husband, but I do think that wives should teach their sons that they are perfectly capable of doing these simple 1-second tasks and that it is part of personal responsibility, kindness, cleanliness, manners, and serving God in all that you do. That should last with them into their own marriage.
As you said, a servant is the greatest role. However, you don’t teach children to make life harder or to disrespect the servants due to their own sloth, pride, or hastiness.
You yourself just shared a story of teaching a toddler to pick raisins off the floor. Do you only teach this to daughters? No, you teach it boys and girls alike (I would hope). I am sure today that if your sons drop food on the floor, they remember their training and pick it up. I could be wrong, and if they don’t, their wife shouldn’t refuse to, but I do think due to yours and Ken’s diligent trainings that is not the case.
Yes, I am all for teaching and training children in the way they should go, Kate, but this blog post isn’t about teaching or training children. Our husbands aren’t children and not all husbands were trained to pick up after themselves. Some are too tired by the end of the day and some simply don’t want to. How the wife responds to this is what this blog post is about.
Quote = [if a man can’t look after himself and refuses to, then he isn’t a man. So yes, divorce him. ]
Quote = [then the husband is in unrepentant sin, and a woman should seek the advice of church elders who are in authority over her husband ]
WOW! Utterly amazing in a sad way. A messy husband is reason for church discipline? Or even reason for a divorce? I read my KJV bible several times a year and I may be old but I do not remember reading anything saying that. Would someone please tell me which book of the bible that is in?
A wife can commit adultery and the husband is advised by the church to remain married to her, but the wife can divorce the man because he is messy….
I am a widower seeking a wife but if this is the attitude of most secular AND christian women, someone please tell me why I would want such a woman????
Jeanne – a friend’s daughter had this dilemma also. If your daughter is still determined to attend/further her education after high school graduation, she could seek employment where you are paid to work AND attend classes. My friend’s daughter obtained her CNA while working, used that training (and credits) for her LPN, and now is working on her RN, she has little to no debt and is working at the same facility. Just an idea to pass along.
Lori,
Do you believe if your parents desire for you to go to college that you should go, in order to honor them? Especially if you are still dependent upon them?
Haha – love this soooo true! Also, pray and thank God for THAT messy husband or children, many depart this earth to soon.
Lake
I love this idea! It will probably take some work. I think that even though it causes me much frustration, living at home with my parents, my sister, and her two children has the ability to give me a lot of practice with being selfless, patient, and not nagging/complaining. The actual practice is the difficult part though.
Yes, many a community college since they can still live at home and it’s very inexpensive.
I once read on a different blog about how a woman was so sad about nagging her husband for being messy, in particular leaving his beard trimmings all over the sink whenever he would trim himself up. Then one day he was killed in a car accident, and she wished more than anything that she could wake up and find beard hairs in the sink because that would mean he was still alive. That really resonated with me when I was getting irritated that my husband would drop his dirty laundry on the bathroom floor instead of putting it in the hamper. My husband isn’t a vei messy person by nature, he does leave things out occasionly but it’s really not a big deal. I don’t say anything now and just put things away.
His reaction is not your fault, even if his frustration is, which may or may not be the case. Your reaction is up to you as well, and it is an excellent example of showing grace.
I’d like to get a glimpse into the lives and marriages of these women, I’ve got a good idea of what you’ll find. Good grief! Such selfishness and ego. Talk about tearing down your home with your own hands. But sadly, I wasn’t too far from that attitude a few years ago.
But God has done an absolute miracle in my marriage since I realized that my ways were contrary to his and destructive to my home. I am still bearing the consequences of my rebellion that was demonstrated to my older children.
My husband is such a hard worker and provider, the epitome of a Godly leader. He loves me and our children so well, he can be as messy as he likes, with no complaints from me (he’s really not). But as someone mentioned, there are husbands into some really major things, and you’re going to drag him before the elders for the blatant “sin” of leaving the toilet seat up or whatever annoys you. As we can see, most of today’s “Christian” churches are failing our families. I pray that women would die to their egos, trust in God’s word, and see the beauty that’s found on the other side.
Dion’Ya, this is in answer to your comment yesterday, but I wanted to make sure you see it, so I am writing this here. I am 21 years old as well, but I have been following Christ for a long time. So, I have definitely been in that place of being lonely, not having any Christian friends, etc. I know it can be very hard. If you wish to talk to someone your age about the things of the Lord, or anything really, please feel free to email me at [email protected]. You are not alone in your faith. Oh, and welcome to the family of God!
Sadly, this didn’t shock me. Some years ago, I was told that “If my husband was that needy, I’d divorce him. That’s pathetic!” My husbands *great sin*? He can’t coordinate his clothing to look nice so I do it for him. When I iron each week, I put his clothes in the closet in sets with M, Tu, We….rings between them so he knows which outfit is for which day. I had suggested doing this for small children for helping them get to school on time. Another woman chimed in as to how ridiculous this was “for a grown man.”
So, if some woman thinks that no fashion sense is grounds for divorce, it’s no surprise to me that a messy husband is. Sad as sad can be.
On topic, my husband is very neat. He even puts his dinner plate in the dishwasher over my objections that it’s my job!
P>S. I made the day of the week rings tracing a CD onto sturdy paper, like a tissue box. I cut out the center with a slit for sliding on and off, put on a label for the day, & covered it all in clear contact paper. I’ve been using the same ones for more than 15 yrs. now. They’d easily last through a couple of children! Or a fashion challenged husband lol!!
Yes! I do this while cleaning toilets and such….
“Lord, that you for a toilet to clean and the gift of indoor plumbing and running water…”
My friend taught me about praying while folding laundry. Shirts are for protection and a heart for God,
socks are for healthy feet, pants for strong legs, etc.
THANK YOU for a toilet to clean. Oops.
Hard to believe you can’t find a woman who wants to clean up after you, Blair! Modern women think the single life is better. I am so glad I have the privilege of cleaning up after a man!
The worst part is I do clean up behind myself. I married late wife when I was 40 and I did all my own cleaning before marriage. Now that I am a widower, I still do all my cleaning. Even when married, if I made a major mess, I cleaned it up out of politeness and love to my wife.
I work full time, I hobby farm, I am raising minor children due to late marriage and I still keep a cleaner home than a lot of single women.
What I am seeing of expectations by a woman from a relationship is that it appears she wants the man to give all while she gives nothing.
Now I read of women saying a “messy” husband is reason for church discipline or divorce???
Where are these women learning these “church doctrines” at???
My husbands *great sin*? He can’t coordinate his clothing to look nice so I do it for him. When I iron each week, I put his clothes in the closet in sets with M, Tu, We….rings between them so he knows which outfit is for which day. I had suggested doing this for small children for helping them get to school on time. Another woman chimed in as to how ridiculous this was “for a grown man.”
My wife “dresses” me because I’m as colorblind as that condition allows a human being to get (a genetic “gift” from Mom). Left to my own sartorial devices, I usually wind up dressing as someone only a circus troop would ever want to be seen in public with. I suppose that disability and the “child-like” dependence it causes on my wife (who very much enjoys making her husband look nice for the rest of the world) is grounds for her to kick me to the curb.
Sadly, there are current “Christian” people are teaching that it is OK to divorce for a variety of reasons, and yet they ignore the truth of scripture. I was sidelined when I spoke out against such hypocrisy. I have not always been agreeable with my wife, and she has not always been agreeable with me. But our commitment to Christ keeps us committed to our marriage. I firmly do not believe divorce is even desirable in the case of adultery. It is permissible, but not desirable. The reality is that there are many who want their ears tickled, hearing anything that confirms their wants. Yet I see divorce destroy families
My husband is fairly neat. However he works hard and when at home he is either behind his desk or doing as little as possible. I find I get annoyed when it’s clear I’m overloaded with work or with kids and he gives me more to do. However I need to be more patient and relook into how to ease my workload.
Hello Lori (or anyone who can please give me some advice),
I’ve been following your blog for a while and I’m in the same situation as Jeanne’s daughter. I’m 18 and I’ll graduate public high school in June. I’ve always been a really strong student (straight A’s), so I want to go to university. I’m, along with my sister (who’s 15 right now, and also a straight A student), being raised by a “single” dad (though he’s married to a great woman who I love as my step mom. My parents just don’t live together. My biological mom died when I was 14 and this was my family’s living situation since then) and he wants both of us to attend university.
While my father is conservative (politically, though not so much religiously), he greatly values education. I asked him about going to a Christian university, but he told me not to apply there, so I didn’t. I also asked about going to college (at least before university), but he wants me to go right to university after high school. Money won’t be a problem as my dad has put aside money for specifically my education (and my sister’s since we were little, so around $10,000 for each of us). This is money that can’t be used for anything other than education now, in legal terms as far as I know from what my dad said. I’ve also saved up about $2500 myself from a part-time job, which I could use for my education. Finally, I’ve won about $20,000 in scholarships. I can also work in university (part-time in the school year and full-time in the summer), as my dad recommended that I do, so I should be able to graduate with little to no loans. Thus, in my case, the common problem of student debt doesn’t really apply.
I want to get a bachelor’s degree in chemistry, with a minor in English, and later on a bachelor’s in education so I can become a high school teacher (this would take 5 years). I plan to be celibate during my life. The reason I plan to do so is because I’m autistic (I’ve been diagnosed by multiple doctors with autism, so I’m not trying to make excuses). While I’m capable of doing everyday tasks such as housework, cooking, and volunteering in my community, I struggle a lot with close physical contact. This means that I would not really be ideal at having sex with my (theoretical! Lol) husband, or taking care of young children. I also have no sexual desires and I’ve never had them, so it seems like being celibate is ideal in my case (however, I’d like to hear some advice about this too). And before anyone says that having autism would make me a bad teacher, I currently volunteer (and have been doing so for 2 years) as a tutor for older students (grades 7 and up). I was doing this as part of a requirement for graduation at first, but I enjoyed it so much and I’ve gotten feedback (from actual teachers who saw me volunteering) saying that I’m an effective teacher. Thus, I believe that I’m capable of being a high school teacher.
If I didn’t have autism, I’d like to be a sahm. Although my family is officially Roman Catholic, my dad doesn’t really uphold religion and I’m more atheistic in my religious beliefs. However, I’m politically conservative and I agree with most of what you wriee, honestly. It’s refreshing to see that some people still hold traditional values and disapprove of horrible things like abortion in most cases. As my step mother doesn’t live with my family full-time, I currently do most of the housework on weekdays. I love cooking dinner every night, and I do daily tasks like washing dishes (though my dad insists on washing dishes sometimes, like if I have a lot of homework, and he also does the repairs and outdoor work eg taking out the trash). I clean up the whole house every week (dusting, vacuuming, bathroom cleaning, doing laundry) as well.
Sorry for rambling but I need some guidance about what to do with my life.
In our country, when you rent, you have 3 monthly house inspections. We run around making sure it is as clean as possible, nocobwebs etc. This is mainly for the landlord, to prove you are keeping the house in a good condition. Both my husband and myself need to work together as a team to do this. I am to short to do some things. He has his own computer space, which gets really messy. He prefers to clean it up,so I don’t touch it! His choice, I should add. He also prefers to do his own work clothes washing,which can get grubby. He works casually, so his hours vary. Do I nag about his messy spaces? No. It’s not worth it.
You need to know and believe in the Savior of your soul. No advice I can give you compares to where you will spend eternity since the life on this earth is a blip.
I don’t think Kate is married because nagging over potty on the seat, which happens sometimes with a toilet being lifted up and down is just exhausting drama a wise wife would just clean up the bathroom as a whole and not berate her husband about it. Wow, sad this world is ruining women all in the name of EGO and SELF CARE lies from the enemy,
Consider that if your husband is messy, it may be passive-aggressive behavior in reaction to something, nagging maybe.
I like this idea. I am going to start praying like this as I clean up. My mother had “The Kitchen Prayer” by Klara Munkres on a plaque over our sink when I was growing up. One line that I really loved was “Although I must have Martha’s hands, I have a Mary mind, And when I black the boots and shoes, Thy sandals Lord I find.”
Lori,
You are blessed to have loving friends who serve God and their husbands. Too many today only think of themselves and it leaves marriages cold. My husband does things to help me all day long! Why would I think myself too good to help him around the house? Love always involves serving/helping. It doesn’t mean I’m a slave. It means I love and am loved in return. I am so grateful for my husband that I would do anything to help him. It’s part of the privilege of being his wife.
We have a simple rule in our house: “If it is important to me, it’s my job. If it’s important to you, it’s yours.” She does not care about whether the car has oil or working brakes; so I take care of those things. I do not care about co-ordinating clothes, so she takes care of that. It all just works.
A large part of the problem is that women in the west is they want to be his “Equal”, and by “Equal” I mean that they want the authority but not the responsibility that goes with it. And always seem to think that their husbands don’t do enough around the house (when is the last time you heard of a wife complaining that her husband did too much?).
Ladies, we don’t need a co-pilot, we need a stewardess. And if that offends, perhaps biblical marriage is not for you.
Women dont teach their sons anything. They try to teach them to b great servants-slaves for women. However they really just breed discontent. I got ran into the ground growing up by a mom and step mom about cleaning the house. So now i live alone so i dont have to hear anything about my timeliness. Or spots on silverware. Most men will refuse chose this rather than endless harping.
My husband is fairly messy, but not as bad as some I reckon. When we were first married I would get very irritated cleaning up after him. But my attitude has changed as I’ve matured. One of my main goals as a homemaker is to make our home a peaceful place of refuge from the outside world. Keeping it clean is part of what it takes to attain that goal, because a clean and organized home is a peaceful home (at least I think so). I tell myself when I am picking up after him, “Blessed are the peacemakers” or “Where there is chaos, let me sow order”. That keeps my heart in the right place and my eye on the big picture – creating peacefulness.
I love the comment above about the beard hairs. I was married to a snorer. And I do mean loud! The first couple years of marriage I would get annoyed and lie there fuming after being woken for the umpteenth time. And therefore I would lose an hour of sleep every time.
One day I read this line,”Snoring is the sweetest music in the world. Ask any widow.”
That changed my attitude immediately. I began to thank God when my husband would snore and wake me. I would snuggle a little closer and thank God I had a faithful husband beside me. Amazingly, I would drift right back to sleep, my sleep a little sweeter than it had been.
I applied this to babies when they came. When they cried for the tenth time just as I was almost asleep…again…I would remind myself of all the women who would trade places with me in an instant!
Fast forward 15 years and I am standing in a food line at church hearing women complain about their husbands snoring. By now I was a widow of 6 months. It was still so painful I wanted to choke them. But instead I turned and quoted the line I had been given that had changed me. I sincerely hope, coming from a widow, that it changed a heart that day!
Apply this to messy as well. I long to wash my husband’s clothes again. I long to pick up dirty socks again. Oh ladies, Yes, pick up the socks and thank God your husband is still here for you to pick up after! Thank Him that you were created especially for a messy man if he is one.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope you did change some attitudes with your comment that day. My husband is my best friend and I can’t imagine losing him. ?