Feminism Operates Through Fear

Feminism Operates Through Fear

Fear is what motivates many women today. The sad part is that as they are trying to prepare for all of the “what ifs…?,” they are making it more difficult to ever be home full time caring for their husband, children, and home. Feminism operates through fear. Biblical womanhood operates through faith in Almighty God. Heather made this comment on my post Traditional Wives Set Feminism Back. For many years, her life operated by fear but now she walks by faith and obeys God.

I read her article. Ultimately, feminism and traditional values are antithetical and of course a feminist cannot understand a traditionalist because the world views are so opposing. I didn’t understand before. At the core of feminism is fear… fear if ‘it didn’t all work out,’ if the worst case scenario happened, etc. I was married once before and it ended in divorce, as I followed this dangerous feminist thinking. That was the worst case scenario for me. I believe it was a direct result of my believing so many of these lies.

“Fear has always been a tool of the devil and is opposite of faith. I struggle with anxiety and even I recognize this is a choice, to follow fear or faith. I’ve been both a working mother and a housewife who stayed home. I found this blog looking for resources on homemaking and how to be happy staying home because it was so difficult after a lifetime of education and working towards ‘success’ defined by our current culture. My loving husband (I am remarried) fears God and encourages me to remain busy at home and raise our children. I have learned to submit to him through many of the trials of our marriage and family these last five years and it has not been easy after following the ‘God-just-wants-you-to-be-happy-thinking’ that I ascribed to in my earlier days.

“God has been showing me how rebellious my spirit has been (even from childhood), how wrong I’ve been in my theology, and correcting, no, ‘transforming’ my thinking over the last two or three years. It’s only been through reading His word and searching out teaching such as Lori’s to help me understand this. I’m thankful the Lord led me to this blog. A woman who has been deceived, which can happen no matter what her upbringing (I had a loving, Christian family and a stay-at-home mother who has remained married to my father for over forty years), can fall into these deceptions and into the fears of feminism.

“It takes faith, commitment, and courage to stand against the social fray, and repentance to live the life of biblical womanhood, as taken literally in the scriptures. I’m thankful for the mercies the Lord has given me despite my many failures. But for the grace of God, I would sill be living in misery believing these lies.”

For we walk by faith, not by sight.
2 Corinthians 5:7

27 thoughts on “Feminism Operates Through Fear

  1. This post couldn’t be any more true. Feminism does nothing but cause harm. I’m a 19 year old girl who has a very liberal and feminist family, who will practically disown me if I dont get a career (and now I have a constant dilemma because one should honor their parents). At school, I am constanly afraid of saying something wrong and offensive and I am an outcast because I don’t attend feminist rallies. at home I am scared that I will spend my life being unhappy and afraid my parents will yell at me for not knowing how to deal with life(job, womens rights). I was a feminist for a while, and i was always afraid of being a bad one , doing something wrong. And i always felt like I had to give up a deep part of myself. It pains me that this is our world. The bible is so clear. Why do we try to run from the very things that make us human?
    Love your blog. And hope you have a lovely day.

    1. Oh, Lola… I truly understand. I’m 21 and live with my parents who are also not the most conservative. It’s very difficult when your parents think you are “better” than what it is you feel you should be doing, so you don’t even want to tell them for fear that they’ll explode on you. My mom wants me to go to college, but I’m just not certain I want to.

      I had a sheltered life and childhood, despite the fact that they’ll deny this, and now I don’t know how to do *anything*. I feel almost crippled inside, and it is beyond discouraging. I don’t know a thing about being an adult or a woman. I have no real life skills. I was a straight A student and praised for my intelligence, but my intelligence means nothing at all. I sometimes feel I would trade my intelligence for even just a bit of common Sense and life skills. The intelligence I have got me nowhere and will get me nowhere. Especially not in God’s Kingdom. I went to university for 1 single semester when I was 18 and I feel like it was one of the worst decisions I ever made. I dropped out because it took a huge toll on my mental health. But I didn’t realize that if I didn’t complete the amount of time designated on my student loan (which I didn’t understand anything about, and still don’t), that I would end up having to pay it back. So now I am in debt for a *single* semester. My only real dream right now I can think of is following the Lord, as well as being a wife. And I’m not sure I’ll ever be a wife or a mother, especially with the fact that I don’t know how to do anything and am in debt. But I’d like to try to learn, and prayerfully God will guide me along the way.

      1. Sisters, I want you to know that you have my full support in your walk with Christ. I am thankful that God has called you unto himself, and that you’re willing to go despite your enemies being they of your own household (Matt 10:34-36 KJB). I encourage you, ladies, to keep in the fight for the Lord. The Bible says, “And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.” (Gal 6:9 KJB)

        Remember that you can gain the whole world and lose your own soul, but they that lose their life, for Christ’s sake, shall find it; for you, ladies, are in the sight of God a great price, a value that exceeds the prettiest of rubies! (Mark 8:36, Matt 16:25, 1 Pe 3:4, Pro 31:10 KJB)

        This is a beautiful old hymn that has really encouraged me in my walk with the Lord and I pray that it be an encouragement to you, as well. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1i7FHN07B9U

        I love you guys, and I will be praying for you both. 🙂

      2. Praying for you girls ! God’s ways are true ! We have to follow them ! We need to be lights in this world !
        “That ye may be blameless and harmless, the sons of God, without rebuke, in the midst of a crooked and perverse nation, among whom ye shine as lights in the world; Holding forth the word of life;“ Philippians 2:15-16

        I am 19 myself and I’ve been reading Lori’s blog for nearly a year now. Since I was 15, God has been teaching me about biblical womanhood and marriage. And because everything around me was against it, I was ready to give up on the vision I knew God clearly gave me. I tried to convince myself and googled something like “women don’t need men”. I wanted to convince myself all this biblical marriage thing was stupid and I just had to focus on college and having a career the way I always was taught to. To my biggest surprise, I fell on Lori’s post “Men Have Made It So We Think We Don’t Need Them.” Completely changed my life. And it is not a coincidence. God used this Blog Post and all the others I read here to teach me “This is the life I want for you. This is My Way. And My ways are always perfect.”

        I can testify that, when God tells you something and you don’t follow it, just like Jonas, you won’t find any rest and any peace until you surrender to the vision.
        I’m in my 2nd year in university and my 1st semester has been so hard. There were some days I had to work and felt so bad, I was just laying in bed, and every time I would read a blog post on the Transformed Wife, I felt like crying because she was talking about the life I wanted and where I knew God was leading me to.
        When I decided I really wanted to follow God’s will, College was not my priority anymore. Today I focus on learning to clean, cook, working on my character, to become the greatest help meet I can be.
        When you know the truth and want to follow it, God will give you all you need to follow His will. Whatever you need to learn to become who He wants you to be, God will open doors and teach you. He is your shepherd and you lack nothing, remember ?
        Set your heart straight, girls. We cannot have it all. It is a lie from the enemy. You cannot be the CEO of a multinational and have an outstanding marriage with great healthy kids in Christ. We have to make a choice. Are you with God, or are you against Him ?

        It is not coincidence we young girls are here on this blog today. God is raising a new generation of Godly women that will really live according to His Word. This world is a mess, and its ways are certainly messy. And we are lights, not to be hidden, but to shine bright.
        Lastly, we have to understand it is not about us. There are many girls and women in this world that will only be able to see biblical womanhood and to hear God’s ways for women THROUGH YOU.
        Just think that If Lori had not given up on her career of teacher and decided to live God’s way, this blog would have never existed and I maybe would have never learnt all that I know today. There are probably other older women out there. But God in His perfect will had assigned Lori to teach me through this blog.
        It is not about us. And God wants to do things that surpasses our understanding. Our role is to follow. And He promises us abundant life.

        God bless you ! And thank you Lori !

        1. Thank you everyone for your comments and your prayers as well! I appreciate your support, Mara!

          Kay,
          I thank you for your clear and direct message. It helped me to see things about myself a bit more. Parts of your message are harder to swallow, maybe because of pride or maybe because of fear. I’m not certain which, but I felt a little ruffled for a moment. I have no desire to be a CEO or even a business woman. I’m not the kind of woman that believes woman can/should be able to do any and everything a man can do, and I don’t believe I’ve ever been a feminist. But I am what one would call a people pleaser, to an unhealthy and toxic extent at some moments. I have a fear about speaking out on things that I know I will receive backlash for. You are another person who has made me feel very selfish for this and even for being shy, which is why I think I felt ruffled. Because I know you’re right, but it’s not easy to come to terms with. It’s not about me or my feelings, you’re so very correct. You said something that I think I am going to write down because it meant a lot to me and was encouraging: “When you know the truth and want to follow it, God will give you all you need to follow His will. Whatever you need to learn to become who He wants you to be, God will open doors and teach you.” You have no idea (and apparently I didn’t either) how much I longed to hear something like this. I feel so helpless and dumb at times, and at times I wallow in self pity. I got a planning book yesterday and ordered a cooking manual the day before to at least make an attempt to begin learning the many things I can’t do, instead of crying about them and thinking self-destructive thoughts. God bless you as well, and thank you.

          Thank you Theodora for your suggestions! I will look into them later on today.

          1. So happy to know God used me to encourage you. You certainly aren’t dumb. We are all still learning and no matter our age we will keep on learning our entire lives.
            It’s also comforting for me to see other girls my age on this journey. Sometimes, it can feel we are all alone but it’s fear. False Evidence Appearing Real. We are not alone. Jesus is with us always, even unto the end of the world (Mathew 28:20).
            Also we have the best teacher ever, the Holy Spirit : “But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you.” John 14:26

            We are BEYOND blessed. We are unconditionally loved by the greatest Father, the wisest : Almighty God.
            He loves you so much and he chose you to be a light in this world.
            And whenever you feel dumb remember : “God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, 29 so that no one may boast before him.” 1 Corinthians 28-29

            God’s trademark is using the most unexpected people for the Glory of His Kingdom. The Bible is about ordinary men and women that trusted an extraordinary God to do the most amazing things on this earth.
            I am not skilled. You are not either. But God is. He doesn’t need skilled people. He needs people willing to lay down their lives, their own wisdom, and their ways to follow His wisdom and His ways.

            Roman 12:1-2
            “Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. 2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”

            Hope to hear from you soon,
            God bless !

      3. In fact I was in a similar position as you and it is very easy to learn homemaking. Just google FlyLady and you will find an excellent website with resources when it comes to cleaning. There are also Youtube channels, some Christian, some not, who promote that schedule and both have what to offer – Diane in Denmark and A Better Life with Kati (Diane being better at explaining and instructing when it comes to organization and Kati being Christian and good servant of the Lord and having a more holistic approach).

        On Youtube Lori has excellent videos on nourishment and cooking – I have almost the same diet, that is actually how I found her and would recommend her to continue with such videos on Youtube.

        My take – I did not even do the dishes until I finished school, but now I love homemaking. It is not rocket science, you can easily learn it on your own, it just takes discipline, planning and sticking to your plans.

    2. I’m 21 years old, and next semester is my last in college (debt free, praise the Lord and thanks to my wonderful dad, who would never hear of me going into debt). I can definitely understand everyone’s push towards having a big career when all you want is to be a wife, a mother with lots of children, and a keeper at home (though my family is not feminist). I have learned so much about God’s will for women on this blog since I found it a year ago. I would suggest that if your parents want you to have a career, try to find work from home or remote jobs. Flexjobs is a job engine that specializes in this. For example, in my major (a STEM major), I could theoretically do technical writing, research management, data management, or teach, all completely from home. Some of these jobs pay extremely well. You might also learn some marketable skills, such as web design, graphic design, cooking/baking, sewing, etc. and start a home based business using these skills. You don’t need a college degree to start your own business. You might also try becoming a doula (the online program and certification through DONA International costs less than $1000 total. Way more affordable than a four year degree! It also only takes a few months, and not four years). Doulas are not health professionals, but they are caring individuals who provide a lot of tender loving care to mamas who just had babies. It usually is not full time work, and it is possible to start you own business with this job. This way, a young woman in this situation could honor her parents, who want her to have a career, and God’s Word, which says women are to be keepers at home. Remember ladies, part of God’s will for single women is that we honor our parents (when they don’t ask us to sin). God blesses obedience to authority, and He makes a way for us to obey His Word. “Seek ye first the Kingdom of Heaven and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you” (Matt 6:33). You ladies are my prayers. Blessings.

      1. Thank you, Sarah! That is exactly what I have been thinking about doing, starting a home business. I think I would really like to learn to sew and become a seamstress. I haven’t said anything to my parents, or anyone for that matter yet, because I’m not certain that is what the Lord would be pleased with me doing. I’m also not certain how they’ll respond. But I believe that is something I could truly find enjoyment in and make a living with, as well as doing for others in need.

        1. That’s so cool Dion’Ya! I will be praying for God to lead you. If you want to learn how to sew clothes, my suggestion would be to start with repurposing old clothes that you could buy very cheaply second hand. When I first started learning to make clothes, I tried starting with traditional sewing from a pattern, and it was very difficult! I actually gave up for several years because it seemed just too hard. Recently, I started learning how to make modest denim skirts out of old jeans, for example. It is very easy, and there are so many tutorials and videos online for how to do it. This would build your confidence until you have amassed the skills to sew with patterns. There are also tutorials for sewing circle skirts, for example, without a pattern. I have not yet tried it, but it looks very easy. Blessings

          1. Kay,
            It wouldn’t let me respond directly to your comment, but you are so right! Thank you for your encouraging and comforting comments! It is not often at all that I receive encouraging words from anyone, so this is lovely and actually giving me hope.

            Thank you, Sarah, for your suggestions and prayers!

  2. When I first read the title of this article, my first thought was it would be about how feminism is causing fear in people to not be speaking out against it. The two young ladies, Miss Lola and Miss Dion’Ya, have both briefly touched on that problem.

    Being an older man, I have seen feminism get more militant every year. It is exponentially increasing every year. Just 5 years ago people would never believe it could of gotten as bad as it has today but it has. My opinion is that in just a few quick years, we will see it being against the law to be a biblical man, that it will be a prison sentence. I also predict that we will see groups of militant feminist women beating up on men that oppose feminism and being applauded on national TV News for doing so. I also predict MANY “christian” wives will turn their husbands into the police for the crime of being against feminism.

    As a nation, we have rejected God and His word. Sadly the “church” in this country has lead in the rejection of God. The bible tells us that God’s judgment always starts in His house because they no longer teach and follow His word.

    May God have mercy on the EXTREMELY small remnant of His people that are left.

    1. Interesting thoughts, Blair. I have wondered if there will come an eventual backlash of men rising against feminism, possibly in the form of large numbers converting to Islam (a religion that enables masculinity and disallows feminism). Either way, I’m not looking forward to seeing what the next five years will hold for this country.

      Good thoughts.

  3. we’ll see how quickly “fear” will cause feminists to go back on their own word once facemasks and supplies for treating coronavirus become scarce.

    as soon as supplies start dwindling and they realize that not everybody will get treatment, the same women who advocate for “equal rights and equal treatment under the law” will start screaming for “women and children first”, as if they’re on the titanic.. just wait and see.

  4. Feminism is a tool the devil uses to destroy families. Like a wolf in sheeps clothing. Years ago, with just the husband working earning a low wage, a couple could, buy a house, buy a car, have holidays and pay their bills. Now, because women have a career outside the home, there is a larger work force available, lowing every ones salary. Only the husband working forces a lower standard of living on a family. Although Christian wives and mothers are willing to do without things to stay at home, being “forced” into a lower standard of living because of low wages for husbands is not from God. In the UK as well as tax we pay national insurance. National insurance gives you health care, welfare benefits and many other things. But, to claim benefits to make up your wage to the lowest amount the government says you need to live on, both the husband and wife must prove they are looking for work or more hours of work and if they don’t obey the rules, benefits are reduced or stopped altogether.

    If the whole family is on benefits and no wage coming in, if the children are at school and both husband and wife don’t look for work, they get sanctions, in other words less or no benefit money, they are sent to a ‘food bank’ where, every few days they are given food to take home, this includes soap, toothpaste etc. If, for example, the wife does not have any work skills she will be sent on a short course, in other words forced into education. If no recent reference or work experience, they have to do volunteer work. If they don’t obey what they are told, sanctions happen which means less or no benefit money. Feminism is clearly the root cause, forcing women to earn money or suffer. Without an income it takes a lot of faith to trust God to provide.

    1. If youre getting money and benefits from the gov. Yes, you shoild be out lookong for work, being educated for work, or volunteering. Especially if neither parent is working!! I am curious ad to why you beleive differently?? Someone has to make the money being given to you, its only right to give back somehow, even if only voluntereing time, which would certianly be a good lesson for the kids anyways, right? If you have kids, you have to be able to provide for them somehow???

  5. Ugh! VB I am so tired hearing about this coronavirus. It’s nothing but fear mongering. More people die from the flu each year and the symptoms are worse. I’m not worried about catching it. Even if I did get it and I died, I know where I’m going.

    Good article. People spend too much time on the what ifs. It’s nothing but a distraction from God.

  6. Interestingly, Elizabeth Warren wrote a book about 20 yrs ago called The Two Income Trap that proves with financial data gathered by the US govt that working MARRIED women are indeed the cause of our lower wages and the reason families have a much harder time surviving on one income today, just like Heather said in the comment above.

    Of course, with diligence, budgeting, and thrift, it IS still possible for married women to remain at home caring for the family’s needs first, but many women still believe the enemy’s lies and haven’t even tried.

  7. I didn’t know that you got divorced in the past it’s surprising but when you say that you’re remarried is it with another man or with your ex husband i’m curious to know God bless you!

  8. I knew that the Bible tells women to obey and submit “without fear” (1 Pet 3:6), but never thought through fear being the driving force behind feminism. Excellent point!
    I come from a family not haunted by divorce. My grandfather was divorced before he met my grandmother, but that was about 100 years ago and there hadn’t been a single divorce since then that I am aware of.
    However, about 20 years ago my niece went to college, “just in case.”
    My husband and I looked at each other and commented that she just signed her divorce certificate (Not to her, but in the privacy of our own home.). Btw, she hadn’t even met her husband yet. Sure enough, we now have another divorce in the family.
    Fear. Tragic.

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