Fleshly Lusts War Against the Soul

Fleshly Lusts War Against the Soul

A friend sent me an article about Kim Kardashian wearing an extremely immodest dress to some event she and Kanye West were attending together. Kanye said to Kim, “I went through this transition where being a rapper, looking at all these girls and looking at my wife, like, ‘Oh, my girl needs to be just like the other girls showing their body off. I didn’t realize that that was affecting my soul and my spirit as someone who is married and the father of now about to be four kids. A corset is a form of underwear; it’s hot, for who though? You are my wife, and it affects me when pictures are too sexy.”

He’s right. Seeing women immodestly dressed does effect the souls of men. Porn affects the soul. In fact, all fleshly lusts affect the soul. How do I know? God tells us so. “Dearly beloved, I beseech you as strangers and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against your soul” (1 Peter 2:11). I don’t know if Kanye West knows about this verse but he knows that seeing immodestly dressed women causes him to war against his soul.

This is why God commands that we dwell on the lovely, the just, the noble, and the things of good report (Philippians 4:8). This is another reason we, as God-fearing women, need to dress modestly. We never want to be the cause of having the men around us warring against their souls. I know many women don’t like hearing this. They believe it’s men’s responsibility to not lust, but it’s a natural reaction of men to want to look at immodestly dressed women. They are attracted to this, but it’s not good for their souls so it’s up to women to dress modestly. Why would God command this of women if He didn’t know the importance of it?

We don’t live for ourselves. We live for the Lord and His will for us. He calls us to be shamefaced (not drawing attention to ourselves) and to dress modestly. We never want to do anything to cause those around us to stumble. I don’t know for sure that Kanye is a saved man but he understands what immodestly dressed women does to him. I am thankful that he is an honest man.

Michael Pearl doesn’t go to beaches, pools, or malls. He doesn’t want to go anywhere that would cause fleshly lusts to war against his soul. He flees sexual temptations (1 Corinthians 6:18) because he’s serious about his walk with the Lord. I deeply respect him for this.

What about the shows and movies you watch? By watching those with immodestly dressed women, you are giving approval to them. This is why I despise The Bachelor and all shows like this. They are filled with immodestly dressed women which cause a war within the souls of men. How can we support this? We cannot.

Be modest, women. Give none occasion for your brother to stumble (Romans 14:13). Live lives of purity in your dress and in your behavior.

In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.
1 Timothy 2:10

41 thoughts on “Fleshly Lusts War Against the Soul

  1. Rick Thomas did a wonderful article I believe titled Men Lust and Women Love to be Lusted After. It really was a great read.

    Women need to understand that a man’s brain is different than his heart. It really is brain chemistry working against him. I love it when men are honest about this. It opens up so much good communication and helps women understand our part and how to help.

  2. Hi Lori,
    I agree with your message 100%, we should strive for higher standards and not bring attention to ourselves. However, I think that we all share responsibility in this, men should dress modestly as well and also find strength in them to acknowledge their weakness and fight the temptation because this world is full of them. Women can be very visual as well and I often see men in church dressed in tight clothes or on the beach wearing speedos, and that can be quite distracting. Do men have this responsibility as well, in your opinion?

  3. Correction to my previous comment the title of the article by Rick Thomas is Men Are Tempted to Lust – Women Are Tempted to Be Lusted After.

  4. Feminism is all about the “me” attitude of life. It’s never about society, family, or the group. Women don’t care if they cause men hardship, because it’s not about them. After all its all about, “my body my choice”. Being a Christian is about taking the road less traveled, it’s about rising above self. These women are lost and they need to be humbled, they need to pray out for guidance from God.

  5. This is such a good post! Thank you. I was able to share this with my teen daughter and explain the reasons why I don’t let her wear certain things that other her age wear.

    For example:The brand PINK which is an off set of Victoria Secret, is a brand targeted for younger girls. It even has a little dog as the brands logo. After reading this to my daughter it opened conversation and she is now understanding how Ridiculous that brand is. And why I have not let here wear it.

    Another area we need to be watchful is the lines at the grocery store. The magazines are filled with naked women. I try to teach my children the best I can to no look at those magazines.

    Thank you Lori for sharing this.

  6. As a guy, I find women who dress immodestly more arousing than anything. However, most guys know the difference between the desire for sex and the desire to commit. If the guy is not a believer, he will see a women who dresses provocatively as “one night stand material”, especially if they don’t show marriage material qualities. They’ll game her until they have sex and move on. If she doesn’t give sex, they’ll move on, anyways. When I hear some of my lady friends complain, “Men are jerks, all they want is sex,” that makes me wonder if they have marriage material qualities. They could, very well, have encountered all the jerks, but not likely.

    As for Christian men(those who practice abstinence), they will just move on, since premarital sex is sin against God.

    What’s also shocking is the women who dress this way and then complain about all the wrong men approaching them or men objectifying them.

    To answer the issue above, yes, men need to be dressing modestly too. Modesty goes both ways and we need to show consideration for those who struggle.

  7. Up until earlier this year, when Kanye tried to reinvent himself as a pseudo-spiritual leader, he used to strongly encourage Kim to dress like this. Now that he thinks he’s found God, he’s criticizing her? He married her specifically for her looks and fame and now he doesn’t like them?

    He encouraged her plastic surgery designer body for years. Now he’s coming across as nothing short of a hypocritical idiot.

    Of course we should be dressing modestly. It’s how we glorify God – the Bible is clear on that. But using Kanye is a really bad example. This is just publicity for him, it’s not about the way his wife dresses.

  8. It’s a great example! If Kanye (who may or may not be a Christian) can realize this about himself (how seeing immodestly dressed women affects his soul which IS biblical), shouldn’t all Christian men be able to easily understand it and women be convicted about dressing immodestly?

  9. For families seeking a budget-friendly grocery store, our Aldi does not sell magazines at all. You can save money on organic food and avoid trashy magazines.

  10. When my (now husband) worked as a baker at Panera overnight before we got married, he would tell me that he would struggle to resist to stare at the female workers — ALL mind you — that wore skin-tight leggings and low-cut tight collared shirts (you wonder sometimes if the boss likes this look!) walking around behind the counter and the restaurant. He couldn’t count one girl who didn’t wear skinny leggings and mentioned his mind would just wander. This absolutely disgusted me to no end and I was so furious at him and got into a heated argument about this (we rarely argue!).

    Thinking he liked looking at them and being adamant that as a man he HAD the control to not look and avert his eyes, made me realize how I was so very wrong. Every bit of his soul wanted to refuse to look, but when it’s shoved in front of you, it’s hard!! Even for us ladies let’s not forget or lie! When I told him that he had to control his thoughts from progressing to other ideas, it was actually my fault for not understanding how it is truly a war within the soul of a man’s mind.

    After that argument that night, after both of us becoming very emotional and teary-eyed — with him apologizing immensely and telling me that to just truly understand it’s very difficult for him as a guy, even though he is fully committed to me to no end — I had to give it to the Lord in prayer! I needed that guidance, grace, and correction and to forgive him and moreso ask for forgiveness myself! It was the only way I needed to handle this. Without thrashing at my fiancé to “shape up” and “be mature”, I had to silence myself and completely accept his struggle. It doesn’t mean I justified him for looking, but to know he hates when his eyes go to a woman’s immodestly dressed body and how the struggle is real. He hates beaches for this very reason!

    I apologize for the length! So true yet again.

  11. I thought it was very interesting how you mentioned that Michael Pearl avoids certain places where women will be immodestly dressed. We recently had a family get away to the beach as our three young children love the beach. I could see my husbands eyes continually looking back at a particular spot on the beach. I tried to see what it was he was looking at as this was a very quiet beach (mostly families with young children). After a while a saw what it was his eyes kept returning to. There were two young women in very skimpy bikinis, I would say almost a gstring. My heart sank, however I know my husband was fighting his flesh and doing his best to concentrate on playing with our young children. It honestly makes me want to stop going to the beach despite how much my children enjoy it. Women need to be considerate of others around them when they are choosing their clothing.

  12. Go to the beach when it’s too cold for bathing suits maybe, Sarah. We’ve had to leave the beach with our grandchildren before when women with thong bathing suits come along.

  13. Yes, it’s much more productive to pray and give it to the Lord than to argue. We live in a highly sexualized culture so we must pray over the men and sons in our lives.

  14. Sarah I do sympathise and believe me it is even worse as you sons get older and aware of the opposite sex. The added problem, is that with such low standards of modesty, it becomes impossible not to ‘stand out’ if you and your daughters are keeping modest. Sadly we have been gradually driven from the beach !

  15. Thank you Lori for this article and bringing the attention that this is how men are wired!! It is evident that mothers do not teach this to their young girls because the women around once were once little girls and were obviously not taught modesty or it wasn’t enforced.

  16. I would suggest, don’t just “leave the beach”.

    Confront these girls in thongs. Speak to them. Shame them. Otherwise they will never realize that they are bringing shame upon themselves.

    The reason our society is degraded is that we allow the degradation to go unpunished. It’s like allowing little children to scream in a restaurant and ruin the whole place for everyone…it’s not good for the children or anyone for that matter.

    At a certain point, we either start enforcing standards or we watch society collapse and burn.

  17. Bill– Shaming women wearing skimpy bathing suits (especially if you are a man) will not make them stop wearing them. If anything, they will feel more empowered in doing so. Speak to them? Sure. Shame them? Absolutely not. To do so would be against God’s word.

  18. The Apostle Paul didn’t seem to mind shaming those who were in sin. “Awake to righteousness, and sin not; for some have not the knowledge of God: I speak this to your shame.” (1 Cor. 15:34)

  19. Love what you said be modest in our dress and Behavior! I think sometimes the behavior part is often forgotten. Really enjoyed the post!

  20. Hi

    Once again, im shocked that people that hold such high Christian standards know about places like Victoria Secret & actually take the time to look at the magazines in the ilses. and look at the women on the beach.

    When I was little, I would be in line with my parents at the checkout & ask if I could have camel cigarettes bc of the camel animal pic. When I was little, they were right where the gum is now. There were also magazines, women & men naked. I didnt even pay attention. My parents said it was bad, so I didnt even bother looking. I was more concerned about the camel cig. When I got in my teens I realized it would be stupid to smoke. I still to this day will only recognize one or two of those types of magazines names. I would fail a questionnaire for sure about what magazine is what.

    My hubby took me to a mall couple years ago & they had a Victoria Secret, he told me to go in & not come out until I bought something for myself that would be for him at our house. I was more appalled at the prices vs the amount of fabric. Go to walmart, other dept stores , look hard enough, you’ll find the same types of “clothes” just with out the name brand logo. I have a couple VS items & now a couple of PINK brand, the vanilla perfume is awesome,. He gets me that for my Bday. So I mainly shop at Salvation Army for outer clothes, then walmart & VS for private clothes for hubby.
    & love hand me downs from sister in law, so I do have expensive brand name clothes for free & clearance 2nd hand prices.

    ive never been to a beach where ive seen people dressed as such. the one beach i went to the women wore short gym short, & gym work out shirts, still to revealing for me, but not what you talk about. Talking to women/girls in such “attire” should be left to women, if a guy tells a women such, it would either be considered harassment or they will just flaunt more bc they dont care. Want to make an impact, pray about it & wear decent clothes yourself. Trust me, ive tried for years to tell people right from wrong, they wont listen, they watch us. how we act, dress, where we go,, what we say, if we go to church like we say. Ive learned you can get way more accomplished for God when you live right & be example vs criticizing. I would love to tell the men that have said such horrible stuff to me and about me just walking down the food isle how offense it is, but im smart enough to know that there are men like that no matter how totally covered & modest you are. & it would only make matters worse to say something. Might even put me and baby in danger. I was shocked the other day in town that men actually said how are you doing mam? I liked it, finally some respect.

    God Bless

  21. My daughters and I only wear skirts and dresses that hit mid-calf generally. When my daughters attend their dance class, they wear school uniform style skorts which come just below the knee, but that is the shortest length they wear (the uniform supply store happily has a school they supply that stipulates the P.E. skorts must have an added three inches, the plaid pleated skirts must have an added four inches, so we have lucked out there — I tried to sew skorts and it just didn’t work out, but I make almost all our other clothing.) So they grew up conditioned this way, but I did make sure they knew that I would not forbid jeans or pants as long as they were loose fitting (shorts are never allowed, but they do wear shorts under skirts) — i.e., my daughter took horseback riding lessons for a while, and obviously a pair of jeans was a more appropriate choice for that activity. We had to purchase boys’ jeans for her, though, and tighten the belt smaller so she could wear them. The girls’ jeans were so immodest she was in tears in the fitting room and was too ashamed to come out to let me see how they worked — or didn’t, as the case ended up being. Tight, tight, tight, all the way, it was shameful.

    What has made this their own conviction has been emphasizing a fundamental truth — immodesty ALWAYS leads to death. First of all, and most obviously, spiritual death. You become desensitized, and while that is going on you lead your brothers to spiritual ruin. This will lead to premarital sex. Sex is the God-ordained means for the continuation of the human race, and as soon as you venture down the path of refusing to give this God-ordained means the respect it demands, you begin to refuse its natural blessings. Bingo — contraception and abortion, now we have physical death, not to mention the terrible diseases that we contract by refusing to respect this power, which, if they don’t lead to actual death on their own volition, most certainly weaken or destroy our health and make us more vulnerable to other diseases/disorders. More death. Eventually we lose so much respect for human life and its generation that we lose respect for the sick and the elderly — hence euthanasia. Immodesty leads to death.

    Now my teenager is more strict than I am. 🙂 Not a bad thing at all. I’ll admit she has been a tad extreme; she is in a very conservative and modest dance class, but she’s refused to dance several dances because she believed that some of the moves were not all right, and she refused to participate in several dances if she believed the skirts were too short (she refuses to wear a dance costume skirt that is shorter than just above her kneecap and has been very firm about that). Her Dad and I were OK with it, but she wasn’t, and even though we thought she was taking it a bit too far, we realize we have succeeded in teaching her what we wanted her to learn. She has no problem with speaking out when she sees something that is even slightly immodest. It is now her own and we don’t have to worry about it anymore. That is very gratifying. Her brothers definitely appreciate it (they dance in this group also). In fact, that’s what she said — if I do this, dress like this, it will dishonor my brothers and dishonor my dance partner. We were very proud of her.

    Now we have to talk about how the mark of a wise leader is to learn to temper justice with mercy….

  22. If you would like to find modest swimsuits, I purchased our suits from Wholesome Wear. We love them. wholesomewear.com

    They are a little pricey, but now it’s getting into the fall season, and you can set aside a little every week to buy them in time for next year. Word to the wise: Don’t hang them to dry in the sun. Hang them in your laundry room or some other place where they won’t get ruined.

  23. USA & im only 33. from the younger generation & I have never heard of most of the stuff on this site. im the granddaughter & daughter of now deceased Pentecostal church of God preachers. Old style church services. No nonsense was allowed in our house & very sheltered life.

  24. Hm, I think Bill needs to chill a little. Jesus didn’t “confront” and “shame” prostitutes he met, he treated them as equals. I think we should allow women wearing inappropriate bathing suits the same grace, don’t you? And realistically, it will only embitter them.

  25. Well, on the reverse side, you have no idea how many snide comments my daughters and I have gotten wearing our swimsuits (see wholesomewear.com as I mentioned above, so you will get an idea of what we look like.)

    We are called freaks, modestyniks, et cetera. The only compliments we have ever received have come from a very small handful of men who thanked us profusely for dressing the way we do. And that has been a VERY small number.

    Our kids liked to go to a water park that has all kinds of slides and other daredevil things to do. We kept getting eyefuls of string bikinis and finally stopped our annual visit there when the boys started getting older. This cut down on the “comments” my daughter and I kept getting.

    It goes both ways. It’s sort of like, are we offending the Planned Parenthood people by being out on the sidewalk during 40 Days for Life. We probably are. Next question?

    Lately, we just swim at Grandma’s. She has a pool in her backyard.

  26. Women know in their heart what they are doing and what they are intending when they intentionally push men’s buttons.

    1Jesus said to his disciples: “Things that cause people to stumble are bound to come, but woe to anyone through whom they come. 2 It would be better for them to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around their neck…
    Luke 17:1-2 (NIV)

  27. Modesty directly leads to blessings. I am convinced of that. Many woman (non christian) have experimented with it and discovered that their family, relationships, wealth and health improved. Their daily life becomes better with less misfortune. I chanced upon an online chinese community of either non religious or buddhist chinese young women in the thousands who have experimented with it for years. On the other hand, they have reported bad events in their lives, increased struggles and frustrations when they start to dress with the desire to draw attention on themselves. God’s instructions works for anyone who will follow it. It’s unfortunate that we have the instructions (Bible) in our hands but we refuse to follow it. And then we expect God to bless us? While the gentiles (non believers) follow it unknowingly and are blessed.

  28. Hi.

    I am so relieved and thankful to have found this web page. There are so many things said here that would truly bless families, communities and nation if lived by. The reason I came here is because of woman wearing leggings. I am from South Africa and at this point in our history so many women and children are being abused, raped and sexually harrassed. It is obviously not something that they ask for or wish to happen to anybody for that matter, but I also felt that a stone has been left unturned. The dress and appearance of the majority of the ladies in our communities now is so immodest and provocative. Yes, men should not in any way feel validated by immodest dressing to ever ever ever justify their wickedness, but to help our women to be safe and less like targets, it would be good for them to dress modestly and invite no hints or even suggestions that they do not value their bodies. Leggings are to be worn under clothing that covers especially the sacred parts of the female body. And I also agree that it preserves the marriage when women save those scenes, if you will, for the marriage chamber.

    This web page is a breath of fresh spiritual air.

  29. I was in the store checkout line the other day and saw a magazine that had a very immodestly dressed half-naked woman on the cover. A lady and her husband were in front of me. The lady reached for the magazine and I thought she was going to turn it over so her husband didn’t see it….but instead she showed it to him! She put it in front of his face and said “look at her hot body!” and the husband agreed and then kissed his wife on the cheek and said “but you’re hotter”.
    I could not believe my eyes or ears! She was blatantly causing him to sin. Why would a woman encourage her husband to look at another woman?

  30. Hi Lori,
    Are you familiar with biblicalgenderroles.com and his take on what modesty means in the Bible and how it applies to Christian women today?

    I would definitely appreciate you and any of the other woman who have commented, giving their take on the articles I linked above.
    Thank you!

  31. That’s what it’s like at just about every restaurant these days. And the women know full well what they’re doing, they wear those things on purpose. They know it causes a chemical reaction in men’s brains that they can’t control, and I’ve found that a lot of them do it so they can take advantage of the men they work with, because when the men see them wearing such clothing it causes them to be more likely to agree when asked for assistance with completing their tasks. Then you always hear women complaining about it, saying things like men need to be taught to control themselves instead of women being told not to dress so provocatively (which ironically, is also a form of self-control). But it’s clear one of the main reason they say this is to put the men on the defensive so they’re little scheme doesn’t get called out, and the women that say this don’t have any idea what it’s actually like, because there’s generally not an equivalent for them. For example, there’s this crazy new bathing suit style out for men that a few homosexuals and extremely risque men have been wearing, that is essentially a thong bikini that only has the supporting string wrapping around one side of the waist, and what amounts to a tiny cup supporting and covering the genitals as little as possible. It’s essentially as little clothing as a man can wear without his genitals being in full view, and is so revealing I wouldn’t even recommend looking it up unless you want to see the closest image you can that doesn’t qualify as porn. I GUARANTEE you that if you went to a beach where there were men wearing these things you would find a large number of women either flat out staring or struggling not to. Women only think it’s just a matter of self control because it’s not an issue for them because men don’t wear tiny, tight, form fitting and revealing clothes the way that women do. They think we don’t see them staring at our junk when we accidentally wear a pair of sweatpants that are a little too tight and since it rarely happens and men don’t call the women out on it because they understand since they have to deal with it all the time that it’s somehow different. And even after realizing that you still think that women should be able to dress provocatively and expect men not to stare and to control themselves, that’s like telling people they don’t need to look before crossing the street because they should be able to rely on drivers paying attention and stopping for them. No matter how good of a program you have teaching men to not stare and to control themselves, just like with driving there will still be ones out there that don’t, and therefore there’s nothing you can do but accept that if you’re going to dress provocatively you taking the risk of being stared at because you can’t control other people, just like if you don’t look before crossing a street there’s no way around the fact that you’re taking the risk of being hit by a car because you can’t force everyone to drive safely. You also always hear that excuse, that women say they aren’t dressing provocatively for men, they’re dressing that way for themselves because they like to feel sexy, not realizing that such an excuse makes no sense whatsoever because unless you’re dressing that way to admire your own body, sexiness is literally one’s attractiveness to potential partners. One can’t drop the inherent component of it just because that would be the only way that their excuse would be legitimate. Dressing sexy is literally dressing in a way that causes others to be attracted to you, and if the clothes weren’t causing others to be attracted then they wouldn’t be causing the person wearing them to feel sexy and therefore such an excuse makes zero sense. And the worst part is that they then claim that anyone that says anything negative about them dressing so provocatively is just body shaming them, when their provocative dress is what causes people with actual image issues to feel bad about it, and if they would stop dressing provocatively they wouldn’t feel bad from people saying negative things about it and the people with image issues wouldn’t feel bad either. So in other words they’re total hypocrites because they’re literally the cause of all the body shame issues.

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