Throughout the years, I have received many private messages from women telling me that their husbands aren’t interested in sex. Maybe they’ll want it once or twice a month, but that’s it. I asked the women in the chat room what advice they would give to these women. The only thing I could think of was addiction to porn since I know this messes up the brain. These women had some great advice!
“I don’t know that all men not interested in sex are watching porn. That is certainly something to consider. But some men are very goal-oriented and are too busy and don’t take time to think about sex. Some men have low testosterone, especially these days. There’s a major trend toward low testosterone in a lot of men. Some men are much more sensitive to stress affecting their libido than others. Some men have anxiety about possible sex problems, especially if they have had any problems in the past. They may avoid sex to avoid the embarrassment of not being able to perform.
“The solution in any of these cases depends a lot on the cause. If it’s low testosterone, a supplement may be needed or there may be some natural ways to boost testosterone such as exercise, sunlight, and eating more meat and less grain. If it’s stress, reducing stress and taking time to unwind can help. It may help some men to intentionally practice thinking about sex rather than pushing it away to focus on the task at hand. Flirting throughout the day can sometimes help with that. If there is anxiety about a sex problem, there may be a need for medical help or just reassurance that it’s not a performance, and it’s okay to have a hard time.” (Lindsay Harold)
“Most likely low testosterone. They need to be physically moving their body a LOT, eating plenty of protein, getting good sleep, get some time in nature, get morning light, and get away from the screens. I’m personally leery of synthetic testosterone because with any sort of hormone, you signal to your brain that it’s okay to stop making it and become dependent on it for life. Try supplements first.” (Danielle Butler)
“It also depends on the age. My husband is six years older than me and isn’t really interested. He definitely has low testosterone (and other issues) but insurance won’t cover testosterone replacement. But for someone transitioning, testosterone is covered 100 percent. So wrong. I would love to be regularly intimate. So porn isn’t always the issue.” (Anonymous)
“Our schedules are such and with his job and how small our house is, I feel like if there was a porn issue, I would know. That said, I’m in the ‘husband usually isn’t interested’ boat. Hormones were fine, but it’s been this way since early on; 19 years old to now 33. It’s hurtful, demoralizing, and has led to many problems. The best encouragement I can offer is to hold on to your worth in Christ. Stay in prayer and don’t let your own mind wander into sinful territory to cope. It will only make it worse.” (Anonymous)
The best and healthiest way to raise his testosterone is to feed him a lot of good pastured, organic eggs and grass fed, organic red meat!
Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
1 Corinthians 7:2