Leaving Behind Her Husband and Children
There’s an article in The Washington Post written by a woman in her 60s who shared her thoughts about being a wife and mother at home.
“In Anne Tyler’s ‘Ladder of Years,’ Delia Grinstead, the 40-year-old protagonist, walks along the beach in her bathing suit with $500 tucked into her tote as she leaves behind her husband and three children. Reading this I wondered, ‘How could she do that? — Why would she do that?’
“Except it wasn’t a single she. As I continued reading stories written by women about women, the theme of walking away from domesticity persisted. I noticed a theme of motherhood detached from itself, of women drunk on afternoon martinis as their children fell into swimming pools. Women taking lovers on trains, women sinking in the quicksand of their own domestic bliss. Then I remembered ‘domestic’ was a euphemism for a servant. And that servitude and bliss were an oxymoron.”
This, my friends, is why Betty Friedan and her ilk were able to convince generations of women that being a housewife is drudgery and similar to slavery. They fed to the discontentment in women and women bought it hook, line, and sinker. This is why up to 80 percent of divorces are initiated by women.
The woman in the article bemoans the fact that her life wasn’t about her; it was about them. So, she bought an apartment for herself away from her family for most of the week while she pursued her masters’. Her home is just as she left it in the morning and she doesn’t have to clean up after anyone but herself. Sounds appealing, doesn’t it?
Living for ourselves is very appealing. Being served instead of serving is a whole lot easier BUT is this what the Lord calls us to do? NO! He tells us that the servant of all is the greatest of all and calls us to be living sacrifices. In my own life, I have found serving turns out to be much more fulfilling and rewarding than being served. It took me a long time to learn this but the most important things in life are usually the hardest to learn and take the longest time.
God commands older women to teach younger women to be keepers at home for a reason. He knows our selfish nature is to feed our own pleasures and wants instead of those of our husbands and children. God wants us to serve our families, women. He wants us to learn contentment at home doing this. Yes, it’s mocked in our culture but our culture mocks all of the ways of the Lord.
No, you don’t need to be get drunk in the afternoons. No, you don’t have to find lovers elsewhere. And yes, “domestic” is a euphemism for a servant, but it’s not our mission in life to find “bliss” which is extremely short-term. Our mission in life is to live for the Lord and His glory (which has eternity-long rewards), doing what He has called us to do.
The short-term bliss of this life is NOTHING compared to what we are going to gain in heaven. Are you going to gain the whole world yet lose your soul, or are you going to lose the whole world yet gain your soul? Dear women, the world’s attractions and pleasures are NOTHING compared to what Christ has in store for those who love Him.
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.
1 Corinthians 13:7, 8
10 thoughts on “Leaving Behind Her Husband and Children”
So true.
If the Almighty God of the Universe came down to serve and even wash his disciple’s feet, then we, His followers, should do the same, and more.
It’s one thing to decide to not have a family you will resent, it’s a whole other to ABANDON the one you are morally obliged to care for!!! What a disgusting attitude to foster among generations of women… Really shows the utter selfishness of the radical feminist movement.
Dear Lori, from what i gather, both Betty Friedan and Gloria Steinem had mothers who had been years pushed around and devalued. Both moms, being fallible, were so psychologically beaten down, they had very little if anything to give to their daughters (Betty and Gloria).
i used to HATE Betty Friedan, then i learned that her mom was a cold hardened woman (oh, how does that happen? Hint: lack of compassion among church people – you can bet yer jack-boots on that one). Betty’s mom didn’t hug her or anything like that. Upon learning that, my hate for Betty – and the other feminists – went right out the ever-lovin’ window.
Something I have noticed is that women have more and more lost all their natural maternal instinct. Even before I was a Christian, I just naturally knew that my priority was my children.
I never gave it a second thought or resented it.
And most of the women with children that I knew, when they did indulge themselves first, felt guilty about it.
Now it is common place to see women completely up and leave their children and even move far away, with little to no further contact! I know several different families whose mothers have left and the kids are being raised by their dad or grandparents. All of these children have significant issues.
I just can’t imagine a mother being able to do this!
Generationally young women are losing their motherly instincts to this kind of secular trash!
What a wonderful reminder!
“Living for ourselves is very appealing. Being served instead of serving is a whole lot easier BUT is this what the Lord calls us to do? NO! He tells us that the servant of all is the greatest of all and calls us to be living sacrifices.”
It can hard and exhausting to live to serve others, but I have found that whenever I am growing weary or irritated with my lot in life it is because I have taken my focus off Christ and placed it on myself. When I keep my gaze upon my Saviour and remember all that He has done for me I can have no other response but to lovingly and joyfully serve those whom God has graciously placed in my life.
Weary wives and mamas, work diligently to keep your focus on Christ. He will elevate the “drudgery” of homemaking, motherhood, and helping your husband. He alone can motivate us to serve selflessly by His example. He gives us strength when we are weary. And He pours out His love and grace during the hard times. By looking to Him we can find peace and joy.
Yes, I know they all had very troubled childhoods and are leading millions far from God’s will for their lives. I have never hated anyone but I am very careful whom I listen and learn from. They were all false teachers whom we are told to avoid.
You should look up the mouse utopia experiment.
The resemblance with our culture is kinda spooky.
That generation and those up to 15 years older have got to be the most selfish, self-centered generation. And they are proud of it! Look at their poor deceived daughters who never had a good example and are messing up their lives (and those around them) in a similar manner.
I am a 21 year old single woman and even I see the exact unhappiness feminism brings that you’ve mentioned, just in a different way. While I am saving myself for my future husband many of my friend have less respect for themselves and are sleeping around because feminism tells them they can. They find a man who at first they like, they have sex and after that, the relationship falls apart and they are unhappy and don’t know what to do. After finding this blog, I’ve thought more about them trying to do the same in motherhood and I expect to see the same unhappiness after a lifetime of working for the sake of feminism only to realize at age 60 that they missed out on true happiness and their kids do not respect them.
Ah, the all-importance of the woman’s self-esteem, measured self-worth. It is the lie of pride masquerading as self-preservation, victimhood.
At a certain point in life, we have crossed the threshold of the ‘age of reason’ and we cannot be absolved of our thoughts and feelings because of what was done to us. We are to assume responsibility for the talents with which we *have* been entrusted, and to use those talents for the Kingdom’s gain, for our life is not our own.
Never substitute niceness for righteousness. Niceness is a counterfeit virtue. Compassion becomes sin when accountability (one of the 4 types of love in the Greek language) is sacrificed to appease the ego of the ‘afflicted’.
The darkest sins are cloaked in light.