A woman wrote me and asked me for marriage advice since she just got married a few days ago. Since I write about it almost every day, I went to the wise women in the chat room and asked them what advice they would give and this is what they wrote:
Honor your Husband – doing your best to be a godly help meet to him and focusing on your role as a keeper at home
The best advice I received was to argue on the same team. It’s not you vs your husband, it’s you and your husband vs a problem.
(I teach not to argue at all!)
Laugh, tease, play, have fun! Be silly at times! Marriage is a beautiful thing. Enjoy it <3
Keep being best friends. It’s not complicated.
Don’t nag over little stuff! Things like dishes in the sink and socks on the floor are not worth damaging your marriage over.
Do not act on your emotions but be obedient to the word of God. Put His word daily in you and pray for your husband daily. Love the way Christ loves you and be the help meet you were created to be.
Assume that any slights are unintentional.
Look for the good in every situation: Pollyanna-esq
Be kind, cook him good food, and have lots of sex.
Don’t think bad about your husband. Always look for the best in him.
Choose your battles wisely. Always put him first.
Never let the sun go down on your wrath. We’ve had many late nights and early mornings. But we will at least agree to disagree and let the hurt go before bed so Satan can’t let anger and resentment fester.
Zero expectations. Get out of the way of the Holy Spirit’s work in his life.
Be kind, be sweet, be generous! Submit to him in all things, even the seemingly insignificant. Swallow your pride. Be humble and soft. Get up early and make him breakfast. Always have his meals ready on time. Be/dress sexy when it’s just you and him. Greet him with a kiss and a smile. Keep the house clean and organized. Listen attentively to everything he shares with you.
Pray daily for him and for your marriage.
Complement him! Lavish him in complements! Always meet his sexual needs and cook him good delicious food. These three things are very important to my husband and they make him a happy man.
Read Debi Pearl’s Created to Be His Help Meet and pray that God would help you live the way she describes and teaches. Also, read your Bible daily.
Love and serve your husband joyfully not only when you feel he is “worthy” or “deserving,” but all the time because it is what God has called us to do. Be the kind of wife that gives your husband your best even when you don’t feel like it. What does this look like? Greeting him with a smile on your face even after you’ve had a long day at home with the kids. Having sex with him even when you’re tired and just want to go to bed. Praying for him when all you want to do is just spend a few minutes on Facebook. These are all things I need to work on as well but just thought I’d share what I’ve learned! Having an attitude of joyfully serving your husband is so important!
Communicate. He really can’t read your mind/heart. Be peaceful and submissive about it though.
It is not your husband’s responsibility to meet your needs! It’s God’s responsibility! Ask Him for your needs.
The grass is greener where you water it!!!
Be in the Word and in prayer everyday; it takes supernatural strength to be able to submit to your husband joyfully in everything. 🌷
Love won’t always be a feeling. It is a choice that you make every day. Older women are to TEACH younger women to love their husbands
1. Expectations ruin relationships.
2. Sex is a biological NEED for men and sex is not a sandwich. Anyone can make your husband a sandwich but YOU are the only one who can righteously fulfill his need for physical intimacy. Don’t tempt him to find other ways to meet this need.
3. Don’t argue but if you do never go to bed angry. Work it out before dinner.
My advice would be to read your blog and really live it!
Work on leaving and cleaving from your own family. Watch your tongue and only build up your husband, especially with your own family. Defend your husband and his good name. Oh and never ever say anything negative aloud. If something comes to mind you can’t really help it but once you speak it you begin to believe it and someone else will hear you and then it becomes acceptable to talk poorly about him in front of you.
Remember that you cannot control what your spouse is doing but you can control your own reactions. Pray instead of nag. Love with not only words, but your heart, actions, and words.
Be *genuinely* kind and loving. Show undeserved grace. (After all, we have been shown this grace ourselves by Jesus!)
Don’t say no to sex for trivial reasons such as being tired or not in the mood, especially after kids come.
Keep him as your number 1 priority below Jesus.
You’ll be glad years down the line!
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.