Men are Attracted to Women Who are Feminine, Cheerful, and Good Cooks

Men are Attracted to Women Who are Feminine, Cheerful, and Good Cooks

Brometheus tweeted this recently: “Steps for women looking to get engaged: 1) Wear a nice sundress; 2) Smile a lot; 3) Carry a plate of bacon; 4) When people mention the bacon, say, ‘Yes, I made it.’ Men will instantly rate you far above the vast majority of modern women. This ain’t rocket science. It’s that simple.”

Most men aren’t that complicated. Women are much more complicated because we tend to be led by our emotions and feelings which change frequently. I know there are many young women who would love to be married so this is great advice for you!

Many women don’t dress feminine anymore. Most wear leggings ALL the time which are NOT feminine. Everywhere I go, women are wearing leggings. On a few women, they are very sexy since they outline the body parts clearly. On other women, they are not attractive at all. Few women have perfect bodies. Women, leggings are not feminine nor modest in the least. A pretty sundress or skirt are much more feminine and attractive to men.

Men worldwide have been asked what they find most attractive in a woman and almost all of them respond, “A woman who is cheerful.” Cheerfulness comes from having a thankful heart. You can’t be cheerful if you aren’t thankful. Instead of looking at what you lack in life, look at all of the good in life! Dwell on the lovely and the good. Read uplifting books. Be in the Word daily and meditate upon it. Smile when you walk by people and learn to be friendly. Look in their eyes and ask them how they are doing. Love people.

Many women don’t cook these days. Either they go out to eat all of the time or they eat food already prepared. If you don’t like to cook or don’t know how, learn to cook! Men like to eat good food. Home-cooked food is healthier since you know exactly what is in it. It’s cheaper, too. My husband loves me to make my freshly ground whole wheat bread for him so I have been doing this for years. I make a large salad almost every day for us to eat with my homemade salad dressing. I have a bunch of my family tested and loved recipes on my old blog. Find joy in cooking and keeping your home clean and tidy. Praise the Lord while doing this and thank Him for giving you good food and a home to care for.

Did you notice that feminism has created women who are mostly the exact opposite of these traits? Feminism makes women angry because their minds are not on what is good in life but what is not “fair” and how they need to make it right. It teaches women to hate men, marriage, children, and seek their own dreams. (Read the feminist leaders’ words for yourself.) I am sure many feminists will balk at the title of this post because they have no desire to attract a man, be feminine, cheerful, or learn how to cook. They don’t need a man nor do they care what they think.

They are missing out on the greatest treasures in this life. Building a family is a blessing that goes on and on. When Ken was doing so poorly in the hospital, it was his family that loved and supported him the most. It was his wife and children that were the most concerned and wanted him better. When we arrived home from the hospital, the grandchildren took turns jumping into his arms and wrapping their arms and legs around him. They cuddled in his lap until they went to bed. He felt so loved by everyone.

Finding a godly man isn’t easy in this culture, I know, but there will always be a remnant (Romans 11:5). Always dress and act feminine. Learn to be cheerful and cook good food. Ask the Lord to bring a godly man into your life and then wait upon Him. Find the best Bible believing and teaching church around and get involved. Do what you can and leave the results up to Him. In the meantime, concentrate on being holy in body and spirit as God commands (1 Corinthians 7:34). Oh, and most men do prefer debt-free virgins without tattoos!

A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.
Proverbs 17:22

54 thoughts on “Men are Attracted to Women Who are Feminine, Cheerful, and Good Cooks

  1. Just reading this post made me feel cheerful!

    There is so much to be said about cooking. I love to cook!

    I hope women who think it’s not their cup of tea will reconsider. My husband has such a big smile on his face every day when he comes home and there is homemade supper. And homemade food is so much more enjoyable. And healthier.
    And CHEAPER!

    Have a blessed day everyone! Bon Apetite!

  2. I cook every day. My issue is spicing things up a little. My husband will casually say sometimes ‘Variety is nice.. .’
    Cooking isn’t something I enjoy but I know my husband loves when I make something different or a recipe that requires more work but it’s one of his favorites.

  3. If single women only knew the power of a smile, many of them wouldn’t be single anymore. I’ve been married for over 2 decades with two kids and I’m not young and beautiful. As a black woman I’m also at the bottom of the desirability pyramid (thanks to Hollywood, but I digress). But because I smile at just about everyone, men, women and especially cute children, I get asked out constantly. I get asked out by young men, older men, white and black, CEOs and blue collar men. Men stop to chat with me at about every function I attend and if they are international I often get a kiss on both cheeks when we part with business cards etc. I literally get stopped on the street and grocery stores by men. I always wear my wedding ring and speak of my family. I also dress modestly and don’t have a ton to “show” anyway. But because I have a pleasant demeanor and am kind (even though I’m quite opinionated) men are attracted to me. 20 years ago I was young and beautiful but I’d say despite growing older and losing my beauty I still get asked out as much now as I did then.

    Thankfully my husband tolerates my lack of prowess in the kitchen and always graciously eats what I serve (but I suppose it’s no surprise that he loves eating out). I’m so blessed to be his wife and that he thinks I’m a wonderful wife despite the fact that I could be a better cook.

  4. Hi Lori,

    I’ve on and off come across your site from various Google searches and this is the first time I’m posting on it (and rarely post on things in general — the amount of vitriol that strikes back in retaliation for one is a real offput). I want to say how amazing you are and how hopeful you make me. Likewise, reading the comments that have already popped up here encourages me! I don’t have a lovely lady of my own and have longed so deeply for that; the things mentioned above, and what you mention, seem like something out of a dream. I wonder if it really is out there at times, but you do say there is a remnant.

    I really appreciate all that you do and it’s hard with the constant men vs women I see going on constantly. What you write makes me want to be a better man for a future wife, if God allows one for me, and to all the women I do come across. I do okay, but I’d like to do even better.

    I’d be really interested to see a piece by both you and your husband together on what us guys or even just someone like me can do to achieve this to show the women in our lives, or that we wish to meet, can do for them. Maybe it’s strange, even though I know it makes sense biblically, to feel this way when one comes across such things that resonate instead of the chaos and pain all around in society. You have such wisdom and humility and strength, it’s really something to learn from and a great guide and marker as we strive for theosis.

    Thank you again for the wonderful post and past posts. Yeah, a cheerful women with a bright smile and a dress just screams summer, sun, joy, life! And that is a beautiful thing.

  5. I remember in college the young men would look forward to the first warm day of spring when most the young ladies would unspokenly don sundresses for the occasion. Although the women (mostly all young and attractive at that age) had been wearing leggings, form-fitting jeans, “going out” dresses all winter, there was just excitement in the air to see everyone in sundresses!

    I don’t think most women dress for a man unless they are already married and know their husband likes something, but it seems that a sundress has universal appeal, and a well-fitting one makes almost anyone look and feel beautiful for themselves.

    However, my college was full of feminists who also partook in this tradition, so I’m not sure how feminist is equated with not wearing sundresses — I thought it was more belief system than anti-sundress.

  6. Wow, what a ray of sunshine this post is????? I was warmed and made to smile just reading it. This is just the sort of thing I like. I love to cook for my family. I enjoy baking very much and I just love the delight it brings my family when I put something scrumptious before them. I keep our lunches light because of the demands of homeschooling but I lay the table beautifully for our evening meal because I like to give us all a special time around the table when the day is done. My older children are now able to add this simple task to their chore list so they take turns setting and clearing the table after the meal. Some of my husband’s favourite meals are not quick fixes. They are native African meals that require multiple preparation steps. Granted he doesn’t ask for them because he knows how involving they can get, but I try to prepare them for him at least once a week especially on weekends when he’s out and about with the children. No matter how exhausted I get, I anticipate his reaction with bated breath and sure enough he never disappoints. He just showers me with so much praise for my culinary delights as he calls them, that I start mentally planning another meal to impress him.

    My husband told me when we first met, the thing that struck him the most was how cheerful and upbeat I was. Even in our high stress work environment I always had a lightness of mood and an optimistic outlook. I know there were two other young ladies he was considering at the time, one was younger than me and far more academically accomplished. The other was older but so much more beautiful. They were both Christians. Sadly they were given to sharp mood swings; the former once gave him the silent treatment in protest during an entire meal at a lovely restaurant that cost him a pretty penny, just because he ordered a pint of lager with their meal. In her eyes lager was beneath her and therefore a sin. He never asked her out again. The latter was prone to complaining and crying about her work place, her family, and just life in general. She had a false sense of entitlement and if things didn’t go her way she was loudly sad about it. He told me he couldn’t believe how easy it was to chat to me without me taking offense or being triggered, so he decided to come to my parents house to observe me in my “habitat”. He was surprised that he was the first guy I’d ever brought home. During the meal with all my family and later on, he was amazed by how well we all got on, how easy our conversations were and the amount of laughter in the home. There was plenty of teasing about him being such a special guest that my father took the day off so he wouldn’t miss out (It eased his tension since he was greatly intimidated by my father). His family at the time didn’t even eat together or at the same time. He says that day he knew he wanted that warm, loving atmosphere in his own household some day and he realized that key to achieving it was marrying a happy girl. By God’s Grace, my husband’s prayer was answered and he is a very happy man. I’m an even happier wife.

  7. Lori often posts disagreeing comments, just not ones that are trolling, propaganda spewing, or hateful.

  8. I’d love to know how you do it with the nice meals and homeschooling. As I mentioned I’m thankful my family is pleased with my meager offerings but I’d love to be more excellent in the kitchen like you are while busy all day with homeschooling and all that goes with it.

    These posts are the kind I’ll be sharing with my son as soon as he starts to notice girls. I want him to value the things in women that will make their lives sunny despite any outside circumstances. I’ll definitely be warning my son to stay far far away from any feminists who always act as if they have a chip on their shoulder. My daughter is already everything in this article but still quite young so I’ll continue to support her as she continues to develop.

  9. Lori, thank you for posting this today. It was posts about the joys of femininity that made me enjoy your blog in the first place! A lot of women today are so awful to be around it makes me wonder how anyone took feminism seriously enough for it to catch on. They’re so loud and vulgar and they always dress in those unfeminine sweatpants and sweaters that make them look like men. I always want to tell them that if they put some effort into wearing more day dresses or skirts they’d look more pleasant. It all comes back to how negative they are towards the world and femininity. Not only do men find that unattractive but they act as if denouncing femininity makes them special or better than feminine women. Thank you for these posts. I have to hide these feelings from my friends because they’re not considered appropriate (yet it’s somehow appropriate for them to mock my femininity) so this is only place I can express them.

  10. Spot on commentary. We men really are simple creatures and, in the end, a man likes what he likes (not to sound cliche). No amount of feminism will change what I prefer in a woman. But much of your advice is universal…especially regarding cheerfulness and thankfulness. Be thankful, be reverent and be at peace with what you have and you will know happiness.

  11. As a man I can agree that what Brometheus said was good advice, but now I’m going to top it. Here is even a simpler and even more effective way to make yourself noticed by, and irresistible to, the man you want to like you: show him respect.

    Just straight out tell him, I greatly respect you because of X, Y, and Z. And fill in what you respect him for. Respect is the currency in a man’s heart. He is deprived of respect in our Feminist culture, being told he is toxic and a pig and such, and he spends his entire life trying to get it. Why does the ambitious man study and train and risk and work so hard to succeed? To get the begrudging respect that will come with all that achievement, if he succeeds. Why does the weightlifter work out so hard in the gym and eat a specific diet to build muscle? To get the respect and admiration that naturally goes with having a powerful or intimidating physique.

    Respect, or the lack thereof, to a man is as noticeable as the smell of hot bacon. And you don’t have to be “hot” to use it effectively. When you show a man respect you will instantly become more desirable to him. Try it. And don’t try to be subtle. Respect him like you mean it!

    I guarantee it works. God made husbands to be reverenced,(Ephesians 5:33) and every man wants a woman who will reverence him. It really is that simple. And if you do overtly show men respect, you will clearly set yourself apart from most all other women in our misandrist culture. Most women just can’t bring themselves to show men their due respect, or quickly turn it off after marriage dooming their relationship to being lackluster for him and him wishing he had married somebody who would show him more respect. If you believe God, or if you believe me, go try it on some man whom you want to love you, see if we’re not telling you the truth.

    “Many women don’t dress feminine anymore. Most wear leggings ALL the time which are NOT feminine.”
    That part is incorrectly stated. Dressing to entice men and being immodest are stereotypically female things to do, and thus wearing leggings is by definition quite a feminine fault. There is no denying that men will view your merchandise when you put it in the shop window. I’d be wary of marrying any man who wasn’t somewhat interested in seeing you so “nearly naked”. The problem is that by dressing immodestly, or slutty, you might be gaining men’s sexual attraction, but it is assuredly at the expense of their respect. The godly man you should want, will want a modest woman. However, the truth is that most women aren’t looking for a godly man, and they are drawn to using immodesty to lure a bad boy who is wicked, just like them. If you want a godly man dress respectably. If you want a bad boy, you either need to grow up, or quit calling yourself a Christian and causing the name of Christ to be blasphemed while you follow the wicked desires of your own heart.

  12. Can I also add being on the same page as regards to how many children they will have, and how they will bring them up, what other values they share, finances etc. There are so many important qualities to have and share!

  13. Dear Lori,
    I wanted to take a few moments to send my love to a true sister in Christ.
    When it comes to being a stay at home mother and wife we stand together.
    On the subject of fulfillment…I’ve read of moms that feel so unfulfilled when they stay at home. They put more value on working outside of the home. It grieves my heart that these women have been so deceived by this worldly attitude. If only they would change their thinking to align with God’s Word (thus truly living Romans 12:2). If they did then they would realize that our income as moms and wives is the blossoming joy of the hearts of our husbands and kids, as we cultivate and work with them in love. This is a service that we are giving directly to Jesus. It is hard to understand why this work could be dreaded so much in light of this. It really does break my heart. They most certainly need prayer, as the enemy has stolen the joy that could be found in this work that, should be rightfully theirs, as daughters of the Most High.
    Well, I need to get back to caring for my sweet little household, but I hope that you have been encouraged. Much love!

  14. Lori,

    Just curious to know how controversial you have found this article to be based on responses you’ve got. I doubt it can beat the tattoos post, but has the response been somewhat comparable?


  15. I doubt anything will beat my tattoo post, Nathan! Most everything, if not everything, I write is controversial in this day and age since our culture has drifted far from God’s will.

  16. I think the difference would be that dressing nicely, having cooking skills, and being cheerful are much more universally accepted and sought after qualities of both sexes, even in the secular world.

    Women also seek men who dress nicely, are cheerful, and can cook (perhaps grill haha).

    These are also things that someone can aspire to — they can modify their attitude, learn to cook, and decide to change their style of dress. These can be achieved in a short time span.

    However, virginity, debt, and tattoos cannot be “undone.” Virginity can only be “restored,” if one wishes, by the grace of God and asking for forgiveness. Debt requires long-term financial planning to eradicate. Tattoos are usually seen as more as a personal choice with great meaning, and also a more quirky/unique like or dislike than cannot be as universally stated as being “not wanted in a spouse.”

    There is a difference between saying here are some things you can do to make yourself more “marketable” vs. if you have already done these 3 things, you are doomed.

  17. I never said women who do those three things are doomed. It’s simply what men prefer. Research the studies on this and you will see that I am right. Plus, I was warning young women to not do these things in the first place to prevent a lot of pain and heartbreak in their lives. Someone has to warn and teach them truth!

  18. Hi M, a fellow homeschooling mom introduced me to this Christian mom’s blog and YouTube channel and I learned to make many meals in bulk and freeze them in portions to suit my family. It’s a lifesaver and often I only have to steam vegetables to go with the meal which leaves me with plenty of time to give the children baths, rest and freshen up before my husband gets home. It’s a lifesaver.

  19. I’m a woman who loves to dress up modestly, cook, and I’m quite fit and slender. My problem is this: My parents always taught me to be friendly and polite in public. As an adult, I have been told that my “politeness” has wrongfully come across as flirting because so many women are crass to men. I’m married, and I don’t want any attention from men other than my husband (he gives me more than enough attention & affection!). How is a woman supposed to maintain her beauty and sweet attitude *for her husband* yet in public remain the same with a cheerful, friendly demeanor and men mistake this as interest? I often feel guilty simply being in a public space in a dress with some lipstick on and a smile-but it’s feminine.

  20. I agree-I know I am not flirting but men mistake my genuine kindness as flirtation when it is nothing more than friendliness. Any advice? I have even thought of making myself appear less feminine to avoid unwanted attention because it makes me uncomfortable when men who aren’t my husband show a romantic interest in me.

  21. Feminism, to me, seems like an attempt to turn women into men. Women are told to be sassy, tough, and independent. It’s no longer about equality of opportunity. It’s about teaching women to adopt masculine traits.

    We are even told masculine and feminine traits don’t even exist. They are gender stereotypes, and the feminists are intent on tearing them down.

    I say the world is already 50% male. Why do we need more masculinity, as in women acting like men?

    Femininity is beautiful and strong in its own way. Feminine traits, like empathy, gentleness, and nurturing, make the world a much better place. Male and female—each have critical roles to play, each in their own right.

    Being a mom and raising one’s children is extremely important. When one is old and gray, what’s going to matter more? How many spreadsheets one processed behind a desk or how many children and grandchildren one raised to become mature, moral, God-loving adults?

  22. Any advice?
    1 Corinthians 11:10 For this reason, and because the angels are watching, a woman should wear a covering on her head to show she is under authority.

    Try obeying that part of God’s word, and see if having a distinct visible symbol of your subjection to your own husband, who is God’s head over you, will not help to keep you from seeming so readily available. Perhaps also, if you are demonstrably faithful to, and reverent of, God and your husband’s authority over you, by wearing a head covering like 1 Corinthians 11 tells you to, men will take your commitment more seriously, and God might honor your faithfulness and set a hedge of protection around you in response to that obedience in setting yourself apart by being obedient and honoring in your dress.

  23. Your eternal perspective is wise. Most don’t have that and conform to this world out of unbelief. They don’t live in view of eternity because they are carnally minded, and they can’t physically see beyond this life yet, so they lack the faith(which saves us) to truly accept the unseen things God has told us about.

  24. I love pretty sundresses. I love the fashion of the 50s and early 60s- beautiful dresses and circle skirts, elegant shoes, beautifully coiffed hair, jewellery and gloves… I was born in the early 80s but love retro fashions and browsing in vintage thrift shops. I much prefer when women dress feminine. Trousers and sweatshirts may be practical but they are boring to look at! I consider our bodies to be works of art made by God, to be enhanced by what we wear.

    And as for cooking- well, am amazed at the comments on your Facebook page saying this is outdated. Why would it be? we always need food, always will and the way through to a man’s heart does seem to be through his stomach. who wouldn’t want a partner who can cook?

  25. I assume men who aren’t Christian don’t understand the meaning of a veil (my choice of head covering) and often start speaking to me about my hair and veil. I’ve found that by flashing my wedding ring and immediately steering the conversation along the lines of “My husband would agree with you!” as soon as possible deters then from further interaction.

  26. Preach the truth, Lori! I can’t tell you how many times I have been attacked for telling the women around me to smile more. My wife and I have trained our daughters (17 and 24 now, boy does time fly!) from a very early age to submit and conform to God’s will for them. This is Biblical. Simple as that. That’s why I make it a point to tell the women in my life to smile more. Whether it’s at work or at the store I do it. I know that society frowns on this kind of behavior because it’s not a woman’s responsibility to cater to a man’s assumption that he knows best for her, but God doesn’t care about that kind of “feminist nonsense” and neither do I! I’ve raised my daughters right, and they both love their husbands, so I cannot agree with you more! Praise Jesus!

  27. I think one approach is to dress differently when you are alone to when you are out with your husband.

    I mean dress neatly, modestly and femininely when you are out without him, but stick to more plain, less colourful – basically less pretty outfits. Maybe just a dark skirt and white blouse rather than a pretty dress.

  28. Elias – the whole head coverings debate is another issue ! As. Catholic I do veil for Mass and private prayer. But I do also feel a very strong call to cover generally for all the reasons you describe. I am sure that Lori will cover the issue at some point !

  29. Your definition of feminism is spot on and shows the misogyny in the movement. It’s no longer about equal opportunity or appreciating women’s intelligence. It’s now about punishing women for their femininity and treating feminine pursuits as a childish wish that women just need to grow out of.

  30. I am the same with regards to fashion. I have recently gone through all my mum’s old dress patterns from the 60s and have made a couple, which my husband loves. Sadly, it’s far cheaper to buy clothes than it is to buy the fabric to make them, and there are no vintage clothing stores in the small town where I live, but it’s fun to dress femininely and I get really positive responses.

    I’m also enjoying perusing Pinterest for inspiration for meals for large families and we now have a few new favourites.

    The other day my husband came home from work in the middle of the day to find me wearing a 50s style dress while mopping the kitchen floor and a cake in the oven and he thought it was great!

    Cooking well and dressing feminine are things we can easily learn via the internet, if we weren’t taught as children.

  31. Lori, I’d like to give my opinion. The thing of women smiling. Specifically young to middle age women – confuses me. In my country women can be kind, yet not smile at men. If a gal smiles at a man, it means she’s interested in that man.

    Here? I get young ladies smiling at me trying to show they are nice, and I’m like, “why is she smiling at me, what did I do?” This is mainly an American southern tradition I’ve noticed that can be overdone. ?

  32. The beauty of the 1950 fashions was that they were feminine and attractive, but in a pretty and modest way and not in any way overtly ‘sexy’.

    Also the longer, full cut skirts are actually really practical.

  33. KSM, I’ve struggled with same exact problem. It actually got to the point years ago where I was so self-conscious of having a “good figure” or being considered attractive that I stopped taking care of myself because I was afraid it was giving me too much attention and tempting me to be prideful. I was very uncomfortable with the attention, especially from males. And women would act jealous. I don’t think my response was the right response (pretty sure the devil was taking advantage of – or even causing – those guilty feelings), but at the time that’s how I reacted. Now it feels like climbing out of a hole to get my health back on track, so I definitely don’t recommend that path! It’s encouraging to know I’m not alone in the concern, though, because it seems like such a silly thing to be upset about, but it really is upsetting when dealing with it. Thanks for putting it out there for comment. And thanks to Lori as always for providing a safe and thoughtful place to discuss it. God bless!

  34. D,

    Thank you for sharing. I often do feel alone. It seems many women actually enjoy the attention from men. I never really did, even prior to marriage. It made more more self conscious and like you, I considered cutting my hair, cancelling my gym membership, throwing away my makeup, and wearing pants as to be less noticeable. It was a very frustrating time.

    I wish you well in getting your health back on track!

  35. What would you recommend for a woman who feels very uncomfortable in dresses and skirts, but not leggings! Ugg. You should only wear those in the privacy of your own home. And feels likewise in makeup?

  36. KSM / D – you are definitely not alone in worrying about attracting the ‘wrong sort’ of male attention.

    It is very sad that femininity and feminine clothes are so unusual that they are are often considered ‘dressing up’ rather than normal. And it is hardly unusual that it can attract male attention. The opposite of what we want in terms of being modest.

    There is also sad that social norms of feminine beauty are so sexualised. When in the past it was the image of the woman as a mother which was the ideal.

    I wear skirts and dresses exclusively, I hope I am always modest and I try to look tidy, feminine and appropriate to what I am doing – but I save my prettiest clothes for with my husband.

    We do have a duty to honour God and our husband / family by dressing modestly. And to honour God’s design by expressing our femininity. But as long as it is not intended it is not a sin if others notice you and think you look nice.

  37. Kevin, yes both daughters are married. Hailey, the youngest, got married earlier this year to a nice young man at our church. She is already 4 months pregnant, and we are so blessed!

  38. HI,

    Finally a picture of a house wife i can relate to. Much smaller kitchen of course, I dont cook well, we survive & dont get sick, cant back:( hubby finally said to stick with what I can cook, stop trying to bake, pay someone to do it, or pick something up It wasnt worth the money, time or energy to keep practicing.

    leggings are gross. but my hubby loves me in them, I only where them at home

    God Bless

  39. Don’t take this the wrong way, I could be mistaken, but it sounds like you enjoy the attention. Otherwise, why on earth would you reciprocate the ‘chatting’ when all these men approach you instead of just moving on?

  40. I totally agree and I’m not even what is considered a conservative woman. Feminism is not about working with the opposite sex at all. We need collaboration not division.

    Leggings are mostly un flattering, I love dressing feminine to make myself feel feel and look great. Thanks!

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