Men Prefer Debt-Free Virgins Without Tattoos
Do you know how much more attractive debt-free virgins (without tattoos) are to young men? Unfortunately, there are so few of these types of young women anymore because of the high costs of college (debt) and sexual promiscuity even from those within the church. As believers in Jesus Christ, we need to live in a way that is pleasing to the Lord because His ways are the best. He calls debt a burden and urges us to live lives of sexual purity.
There are many reasons why Christian young women should carefully consider whether or not they go to college, especially if they want to be wives and mothers someday. Secular universities teach against the God of the Bible and His ways. It’s far from what God calls women to be and do: it teaches them to be independent, loud, sexually available, and immodest instead of having meek and quiet spirits.
One woman wrote to me and gave her opinions on why women shouldn’t go to college. (Her opinions are in quotes.)
“Men don’t want to marry a women with debt. Most of this debt comes from college. They would also prefer a woman who still lives at her parent’s house that has not had other relationships. Do those two things and you will be highly sought after.” I’m not sure about men only preferring women who still live at their parent’s house and have had no other relationships since some young women have no choice but to live away from their families and some have had their hearts broken by men they thought was “the one.” I completely agree that most men don’t want to marry a woman with a load of debt! This isn’t right to bring into a marriage. Plus, the Bible tells us that the “borrower is the slave to the lender” (Proverbs 22:7). Who would willingly choose to be a slave?
“If they go to college, they are unlikely to stay home raising their children to pay off the debt and use the degree they spent years on.” I have seen this in many young women’s lives, sadly. Strangers raising their precious children while they struggle to pay off their debt by having a job away from home.
“The husband will need to take years teaching his wife the correct way to act, think, and live since college taught them every possible way that is wrong.” Unfortunately, most young Christian women won’t listen to their husbands since they’ve not been taught to live in submission to them nor have they ever heard of this verse about being quiet in church: “and if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home” (1 Corinthians 14:35). However, it’s the older women who are called to teach the younger women biblical womanhood (Titus 2:3-5) and most husbands have never seen it modeled in their lives so they wouldn’t know what to teach.
“They will start having babies later in life. That is if they can still conceive naturally.” Is college worth having fewer children? I will never understand how women prefer careers over having warm, cuddly babies. Never take your fertility for granted, young women! Children are gifts from the Lord that keep on giving.
“They lost a handful of years of experience learning to cook large meals and learning how to work in the garden. College kids don’t cook. If they do, it’s typically for themselves.” Young women learn nothing about biblical womanhood nor what it takes to run a home when they go to college. They don’t learn to serve others, either. They learn the ways of the world, selfishness, and feminism instead; all which make a good marriage unattainable.
“The list goes on. Churches don’t talk about it. They support the college kids (really adults) and the ‘working’ mothers.” It greatly offends working mothers whenever I teach women to be “keepers at home” (Titus 2:5). Yes, God’s truth convicts but most don’t want to be convicted about their lifestyle, so they become “offended” instead.
“It’s very rare to find an 18 year old woman that continues to work and live at her parent’s house until she meets her husband. It’s pretty much a joke to all who do that.” It’s actually protection for young women to live under their father’s roof (if he is a good father) until they get married, if they are able, and there’s nothing wrong with doing this. Universities are definitely not safe places for women!
“Your posts sound crazy to anyone who does not believe the Bible is true. Most girls have not been taught the Bible from their fathers (Ephesians 6:4) nor have young wives learned it from their husbands (Ephesians 5:26; 1 Corinthians 14:35). This part is important. Instead of learning it from their parents or their husbands, they seek out books, movies, or female preachers on how to interpret the Bible which leads them down the wrong path.”
Young women, be wise in the path that you choose to walk on. Keep a long-term vision of your life and how you hope it will be someday instead of acting upon all of the “what ifs…?” that many in our wicked culture will throw at you. Trust God with your life, study the Word, and take the narrow path that leads to life. Stay virgins until marriage, out of debt, and don’t get tattoos! Strive to be virtuous women.
Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
*Follow up post for Christians.
***For those of you who are NOT debt free virgins without tattoos, there is hope for you! Your value and worth don’t come from your past (what has been done to you or what you have done). No, your value and worth come from who you are in Christ and what He has done for you. If you are a believer in Jesus Christ, your sins are washed away, you are cleansed, forgiven, made a new creature in Christ, and now, walk in newness of life! God is in the business of transforming lives!
256 thoughts on “Men Prefer Debt-Free Virgins Without Tattoos”
I understand that heavy debt from college is a great burden on both male and female students. In Wisconsin, if a student can live at home, they can earn a 2 year degree for about $6500. My niece just finished up a one year Licensed Practical Nurse program and got a very good job with benefits and NO DEBT. My cousin’s daughter got a 2 year
Registered Nurse degree and makes amazing money and NO DEBT. Young people can get training or schooling reasonably if they look. Many do not go to expensive private colleges.
My niece learned in school how to take care of people who are sick or ill and need help. I do not think she learned many ungodly things. She is only 20 years old and can sew beautiful clothes and loves to cook. My son has a 2 year marketing degree and manages a large retail store, makes good money, and NO DEBT.
There are 2 sides to every story and huge college debt is diminishing because young people now see that they can get the training they need at a much lower cost.
“Your posts sound crazy to anyone who does not believe the Bible is true.”
If Christianity is where you find this type of woman then sign me up…
Anette, I think you’re missing the point. Those 2 women you mentioned have wasted time studying secular medical books when she could’ve been studying the holy word of God instead. I think it’s obvious which one would’ve been more valuable in their lives. Jesus didn’t need a certificate to heal people and it sounds like she’s been poisoned by the secular education system instead of putting her faith in God and his healing power!
As Lori pointed out it may take years for a husband to properly teach his wife the correct way to act. The future husband of your niece and cousin’s daughter may decide that she is not to continue their nursing “career” and instead must stay home for the children and follow the real career God has chosen for her. See Numbers 30:6-8,
“If she marries after she makes a vow or has made some rash promise or pledge, and her husband hears of it but says nothing to her, then she has to make good on whatever she vowed or pledged. But if her husband intervenes when he hears of it, he cancels the vow or rash promise that binds her. And God will release her.”
Hopefully by following Lori’s advice they will be more likely to find a Godly man and will be able to give up their nursing jobs if God commands it. I would encourage you to get your niece and cousin’s daughter to read Ephesians 5:22-24, 1 Corinthians 11:7-9, Colossians 3:18, 1 Timothy 2:11-15, 1 Corinthians 11:3 and 1 Peter 3:1-2.
Great article. So detest tattoos. Never thought about the debt.
Good for you for having the courage to teach this in such a time. May the Lord be with you. Don’t worry about the evil people who will hate you. Jesus said, “The world cannot hate you, but it hates me because I testify about it that its works are evil.
And, yes, as a single man, I am still single because I cannot find a chaste Christian woman to marry. Not trying to make it about myself. Just wanted to let you know that what you are saying is true. Alright, take care. God bless.
A chuckle escaped me when I read this title, Lori, because it’s so very true. At some point early in our marriage, I’d mused aloud to my husband about getting a tattoo. I was surprised at how negatively he reacted. He said he loved that I didn’t have any tattoos – and what really shocked me at the time was his comment that he never would have asked me to marry him if I had already had one! At the time I was so perplexed over it, but I completely get it, now.
The other thing I used to be perplexed about was after we had our first child, I had foolishly mentioned to my husband about “switching” so that I could work for a while and he could stay home (there were a lot of factors in this decision, not that I wanted to return to work, long story). Again, at the time I was shocked at the intensity of his refusal – a reflection of my worldly-cultured mind after years of being in college and in the workforce. It wasn’t until years later that I understood my role is keeper at home and his is being the provider.
I’m so very grateful that my husband knew these things in advance and was forward enough to keep me on the right track when I began to veer off, as women are so easily deceived regarding these matters.
And thank you, Lori, for speaking the truth once again! God bless you and yours.
Great article! A good man always wants his woman to have class. Many women talk like sailors and look like sailor (tats). They’re sleezy and a dime a dozen and the funny part, they actually think they’re cool and desirable. Women knee deep in debt and those who look/act/talk like farm animals always attract the same like, kind and quality and then can’t figure out how or why they ended up at the bottom of life’s heap.
This is beautiful, thank you!
Of course many will scrutinize this critically, claiming that you “don’t want women educated” or various diatribes like that. As your associate said, this all seems like a “joke” to those who don’t get what it is to radically follow God. But to those with eyes to see and ears to hear, all you’re asking is for men and women to first and foremost be the men and women God made them to be!
I would add, it doesn’t help for men to bring debt or promiscuity into the relationship either – but of course your focus is women, I know.
Your article is catching some serious shade on Facebook. I have seen this posted a few times on my timeline, all in a venomous, mocking, and negative light. I agree with you 100%. Most are derailed at the get-go by the “men prefer” language in the title. It is a conditioned response. They couldn’t care less about what men prefer and also go on and on about what they themselves prefer. Somehow, that is not hypocritical from their point of view.
I applaud women who understand their role in the equation by holding men to higher standards and responsibility by choosing to not degrade themselves. They want to know where all the ‘good men’ (able and willing to commit) are, and most of the good men I know are married to women who have chosen a Godly path and these men are devoted to providing for their families. These angry, bitter, and self-righteous women seem to want the all of the benefits of having a good man, without accountability nor a willingness to give what it would really take to do so. Or, if they are willing at this point in their lives, but the good men who still remain single and want marriage, let alone a family, are not interested in them anymore. These women have willingly traded their 20s (and sometimes part of their 30s) for cheap sex and chasing ‘men’ that had little interest in their happiness or future, but they use those same men as examples of why men *in general* are terrible.
The value of an honorable and virtuous woman of noble character, as the bible says, far exceeds the finest jewels.
Very good advice, women could learn very much from this. Found this from facebook.
The perverted and wicked generation is angry at this, for they are hedonists, who abhor having consequences for sin. They detest standards and traditional family.
How great society would be if all women were as the photo stated; men and women entering marriage as virgins and being committed solely to each other.
Now it’s like getting a used car that is banged up and ready to be put down and in some cases your only choice is the car from the junkyard; been used too much, too many owners, broken and damaged beyond repair. Sad!
Yes this is so true. Women really don’t understand their role fully. Women now days hear the words “submit to your husband” and they instantly take offense and become sooo angry. It’s sad that society and feminist movements have pulled us so far away from God’s word and the Truth. Bless you.
I showed my 21 year old son the title and he said, “It’s a bit random but not necessarily inaccurate. “
Went to college, have debt, married for 14 years to the same man, have two kids, a career, money of my own that rivals my husband’s pay, and I grew up in a conservative Christian household. The difference, I was encouraged to get an education. The woman in my family were god fearing, educated, business owning, yes, OWNING, women who worked hard and kicked A. I was inspired to be like them. Oh and the women in my family can cook up a storm that would make chefs blush. I teach my daughter how to cook because I tell her how amazing her grandmother, great grandmother, great great grandmother, and even her mother before her were, and now I get to pass those skills and knowledge onto her. She is all about it. My husband encourages me, inspires me, communicates with me, and shares responsibility with me, like a good husband should. Marriage is about finding a path together, communication, give and take, and being PARTNERS! A woman can submit but will eventually resent him if she doesn’t find herself, believe me, I learned this the hard way in our relationship of 17 years (together 3 years before marriage). Independent, Codependent, problems, issues, go see a therapist, they can and will help, believe me! So, I take your words with a grain of salt, my dear lady. Your path isn’t everyone else’s path and for that, God would agree! We all have our own separate journeys based on what lessons God wants us to learn. He also gave us free will to explore what all is around us. We all play our part, let others follow their destined paths.
So where can we read the le on what women prefer? So many are focused on what men prefer and no one ever speaks out on behalf of women. We want men that are virgins, debt free and that don’t have tattoos and aren’t on the down low too!
For women reading this article, you’re valued as who you are, regardless of your sexual, debt, or tattoos. If there are men who are using a check list of criteria to select a future spouse that align with this, move on. You’ll always be less than your greatest potential. Parenthood is a great experience and all these factors discussed in the article don’t prevent you from ever having children.
Do what is best for you, a partner will come in time
-White, man. Age 24
Lone voice in the girth wilderness of “meat generation” meshed in deceit and promiscuity. This is the least of what their itching ears want to hear. Thanks for doing the needful; she who has ears let….
Many blessings; God is pleased!
This blog is getting alot of hate from young women on social media probably because they feel criticized, but in reality if this type of woman existed I would marry today. Lol.
I’ve seen quote a few triggered women writing fiery rants against this piece. They demonstrate the failure of contemporary, Christian women.
Yes, there is grace and redemption in Christ, but this doesn’t mean the Christian ideal is a debt laden whore.
The typical Christian woman today is like the prostitute who pays her paramours.
“They give gifts to all whores: but thou givest thy gifts to all thy lovers, and hirest them, that they may come unto thee on every side for thy whoredom.”
To young men I’d say run as fast as you can from the woman who can’t say amen to this article, for death is in her house.
Our cultural mores have removed all the protections from women in the guise of freeing them. The “freedom” has led to women being encouraged to act like the worst of men in order to be “equal.” A young woman should be protected and stay at home rather than living away. Loneliness and bad companions can lead anyone male or female into harmful situations. I agree with your points, but I think that many young women who want to be chaste and have a faithful, fruitful, and unbroken marriage find it hard to find husbands.
What are your thoughts on Jesus loving on the woman at the well? Or Mary and Martha? Jesus was not so concerned about Martha not getting help in the kitchen but rather speaking with Mary. I don’t think the Bible necessarily supports these points you are making. I believe Jesus is more concerned with the hearts of people and not so much about tattoos and college debt and the necessity to be pure and sinless —- yes he wants that but He died so that we can rest in his grace and not be continually judged and damned. Pushing these views that only pure sinless and debt-free virgins get “good” husbands and a happy marriage is definitely not biblical at all. You put in your own biography that you and your husband had years of hardship in your marriage (who doesn’t!? We are all sinners that fall short). A more biblical viewpoint would be that no matter your history Jesus loves you and that you worth is not defined by being a baby making homemaker but we are defined by the love of Christ.
Well done. This is great advice for any woman that doesn’t want to end up like Shulamith Firestone. She died alone with her line extincted, childless, age 67, body undiscovered for some days, partially eaten by her collection of cats. Better by far to have the woman’s equivalent of the funeral of Dr. Ernest Menville (played by Bruce Willis) in the movie “Death Becomes Her”. Feminine (as opposed to “feminist”, the antonym) women in my experience usually avoid the first one, especially if they put family above careerism and hedonism, as any true lady likely would.
I grew up Christian and I went to a Christian university. I understand your post and your perspective. But I’m still curious: is it not possible for women to read the Bible an understand God’s word on their own? Must it be interpreted by man?
I’m sure that this article will be hated by women who think men should be attracted to them just because they have a pulse, but the truth is that you are right. It doesn’t mean that a man won’t overlook a woman’s flaws if he falls in love with her, but if you stack two women up with identical personality, the debt free virgin will almost certainly be more attractive to him as a mate. This is just common sense.
This is no doubt offensive to some but is it really that controversial that men might not care for women that come with
$100,000 of debt- (no self control)
A questionable past (would you feel special being her 48th boyfriend?)
and tattoos that might not age well?
I discovered your blog quite by accident and from what I have read so far it is very interesting. From some of the comments you have made I assume you are not real popular with the rabid feminists?
According to an article on CBS’ website posted July 9th, “Women owe about $890 billion of the country’s $1.48 trillion student loan debt, nearly double the $490 billion owed by men…”
Where is SL debt diminishing? The blog author’s acumen in her posting is spot on.
*Cue blaming of the mean patriarchy/glass ceiling/wage gap/other virtue signaling myths for the imbalance.
I have a lot to say about this. And I’m really only going to address one of the three topics (even though I could go on about all of them) you covered here: debt and college.
I married last year. My husband and I met…in college. We attended a Christian college for four years a piece and each received a Bachelor’s degree. He spent an extra couple of years pursuing his Master’s, which did not work out. So, between the two of us, who do you think brought more debt to this marriage? Him. Between college and credit cards, he was the one with the most financial burden, and as my husband he was putting that on me. We even had to take out a loan to help pay credit cards off more easily in my name only because I had the better credit score—and a pretty good one. (My mom, who raised me single, taught me well when it came to finances.)
Now I don’t say this to put him down or complain. Times are hard, those are the cards we have to play, and I choose to work with my husband in all things. But I say this because you don’t seem to be wanting to hold men accountable for their choices here. If, as you say, men are supposed to be superior and provide everything for their wives, what would you say to those college-educated Christian men like my husband who can’t do that alone? Are they excused because they’re men?
We live in a world where it’s nearly impossible to make a living unless you have a college degree—and even now a Master’s is starting to be required. My husband and I can’t afford our life without a double income, and that’s just the bare basics. Not only is your article damaging to women who want to make good lives for themselves and who God has plans for that may or may not include a husband, but it’s also ignorant of the current economic and institutional situation we’re living in.
I personally want a family some day. I want to raise children in the Lord and love them and teach them. But I also want a career and a greater purpose and a life where I don’t have to struggle providing for my kids. And with God, I know both are possible, and these are the very things he provides to make it possible.
This stood out from the article which I 100% agree with. “It greatly offends working mothers to teach women to be keepers at home.” God’s word doesn’t change just because the world does. The problem isn’t so much women going to college though, it is that most men nowadays don’t want to be the sole breadwinner of the home and have a wife that stays at home. It is a double edged sword of the society we are currently living in.
I am so sorry you’ve been receiving so much backlash to this post; I want you to know that I am praying for you and that, while I disagree with the main point of this article, I also disagree with the way others have gone about expressing their own disagreement. I would say more, but I’m in the middle of writing up my own response in the hopes that others might read it and be less quick to grow angry. Stay tuned for that if you’d like to read it <3
Increasingly, there is little difference between “Christians” and others. They all think the same thing and make the same comments. The only view that matters at the end of the day, is God’s, and this is found in His word. Take comfort in Philippians 1:29 and Matthew 5:11. I know you own a Bible.
Educating women is of great benefit to society. I homeschool my children. All 6 of them. My 18 year old daughter is attending college on a full scholarship. She worked very hard at homeschooling so that she wouldn’t have debt from college, yet she has a beautiful mind that loves our Lord, serves our church family by singing worship every Sunday, and serves her family as she is able, since she chose to live at home during college despite having the opportunity to live on campus for free. We highly encouraged her to pursue higher education because her beautiful mind is a gift from the Lord, and we do not squander Gods gifts.
I am dismayed at how you put all men into a very small minded box. My husband, a pastor, married me, a single mother of 19, with a tattoo and college debt. He thinks I am a priceless treasure, despite having to pay off my college debt incurred for the career I never worked at. He loves my intelligent mind and the ability to have thoughtful reasoned conversations. He tells me how proud of me he is when I kick butt at Scrabble and he always wants me on his team when we play games with friends,because I’m good at them.
My college education prepared me for home schooling my kids in such a way that they are clever, love to learn, logical and wise. They also can cook, clean, care for children, and do other wonderful things that prepare them for life as well.
As I read your article with my husband he commented on how it saddened him to think that some young woman may find herself unworthy of a righteous man’s love, because she wasn’t what you have described men want. Men don’t want robots. They don’t want women to pander to their whims, or obey their orders. They want women who love the Lord, who serve him faithfully in whatever calling he has placed upon their hearts, who love others, who are kind and loyal, and who are wise enough to know that no woman should attempt to become the woman some man wants…. But rather strive to please the Lord with the gifts He has bestowed upon them. He is the only man that matters! A wise woman knows that.
Lori, I see you’re getting a lot of grief from leftist websites. Just wanted you to know you’re right on target. May the Lord bless you and protect you from the arrows being aimed at you by those who do not seek the truth.
I want to be pleasing in the eyes of the Lord, not marriageable men. God gave me a mind, a heart, a body, and a soul to work for Him, not to simply for a husband or to propagate the species. I’m not seeking a husband; I’m seeking God’s will.
Excellent advice, Biblically sound.
You’ll get a lot of hate from this article. Heaven loves it, though, so that might be something of a consolation to you.
I read your article after my friend posted it on Facebook. I really enjoyed how you included an email, and how your articulated your points with examples.
One thing that stuck with me was when you said “I will never understand how women prefer careers over having precious babies.” It made me think of my mother, who stayed at home her whole adult life to raise me and my siblings. I am so grateful I had a stay-at-home mother, who dedicated her life to me and my siblings, and teaching us how to live our lives in the name of others.
She and my father instilled in me at a young age that I was to live for others, to become the best version of myself so I can take care of those who need it most. I have interpreted that to mean that I can help more lives if I work in healthcare, specifically pet care.
I do want to have children, and be a good mother. But I can help more lives if I do pursue this career. Jesus Christ dedicated his life to helping others, and I could not see myself doing anything but helping those that need it most.
I hope this might help you understand why some people follow their careers. If not, I hope this isn’t offensive or unwarranted. I really enjoyed your article, and your point of view.
Keep writing! 🙂
As someone who finished college debt-free, loves the Bible and is still a virgin without tattoos – I find this collection of quotes ridiculous. My first and hopefully final serious relationship began at the age of 39. Had I skipped college and later postgraduate studies, learned to cook and waited around for a man to show up, I would have forfeited 20 years of serving others through work and ministry. The Bible teaches quite clearly that all of our work is an act of worship, so both my time in the secular media and working for Christian ministries were opportunities to serve others and be an ambassador for Christ. Paul and Jesus weren’t the only ones who lived single, childless and blessed lives. Encourage women who also have seasons of singleness and may never raise children to flourish where God’s placed them, whether or not it comes with a paycheck.
This is great news to me! Thanks for sharing and may this attitude of have-to-have-a-4-year-college-degree-to-make-it-in-this-society be done away with…until we leave this earth.
I’m so over the mentality that smart/qualified=college degree!
I am not sure I understand why a father or husband is the only way a woman can understand scripture. I understand and disagree with most of this article, but I am confused where you get this particular viewpoint…
Great advice and spot on…
I read a whole bunch of angry comments about this article you wrote. So much so, I needed to read for myself to see what could cause this outrage.
Thank God we have people still saying what you have! I think the anger is more about personal guilt from what they see in themselves than any fingers pointed at you. It’s not easy going against the grain or bucking trend. It’s not popular to say that women cannot do everything and be everything and still do it all with a high level of success. That it’s not the piece of paper framed on the wall, the paycheck and independence, the bigger home, better cars, etc that matters… the important things are your children. But how can you argue that point in a world that needs special car alarms so you don’t forget your child in the backseat. We value our phones more than our children. And for a large majority of people… kids, husband, family… homemaker… that’s not the prize. They’d rather enslave themselves to a “man” that signs the check not the man that takes care of her.
You actually are right on
The point the author is trying to make from Gods Word, before others try, like Eve, to reason it away, is that out of Titus 2 and Proverbs 31 our Creator ordained that the young women are to marry, bear children and be keepers of the home….not working in a career and making “amazing money”. That is not Gods plan for a woman. No where in His Word do you find that. And it is the responsibility of women our age that did not teach their daughters to follow Gods Word. But of course, if a Mother isn’t a believer of Christ and doesn’t actually follow Gods Word herself, she will not teach her daughter to….nor will she be that Godly example of an older woman that Titus 2 speaks of. Its all about the choices we make.
Keep up with the good work.
God bless you!
Lot of women don’t like hearing it, but as a man I can confirm everything you said.
Seeing how this has made the rounds on the internet – I feel it’s worth noting that it’s primarily feminist SJW’s in “christian” clothing that seem triggered by this idea. And then they bemoan their own single status.
I get where this article is coming from and yes, I care less about a woman’s sexual experiences than how much secular feminist doctrine she’s drank in… but I do find the two to be curiously correlated. And tattoos… meh, women used to think they were edgy. But it’s not edgy. And who wants to look at the 60yr old version of that tramp stamp that you thought was cool in college. Yeah.. “love me for me” – well ok, but doesn’t that go both ways?
Feminism has infected the church to the degree that men are simply avoiding women who display it. So they come out to write blogs and be angry about it. And the quality men just shake their heads and move on to women who aren’t wrapped up in that world. If you want to find a good man… ditch the angry blogs by women who aren’t married and aren’t any closer to it. And if they use terms like “power structures”, “misogyny”, and “patriarchy”… well.. just think how single you could continue to be if you become just like them! Yeah Boundless.org… I’m looking at you here.
Anyway, great article here. Worth chewing on. And if you take anything as Gospel truth because you read it on the internet – newsflash: you’re doing it wrong.
Wow! Just wow! I am blown away. I have been teaching the young men in my church to guard their hearts against the harlot (Proverbs 7). To use societies “tells” (college/debt, tats, face piercings, crazy color hair) to avoid troublesome women. I have explained their need to embrace their masculine nature (protection, provision and procreation) and encourage their lady’s femininity (helpmate, childbearing/caring and affectionate nature). Outside of the “manosphere/pickup community” I cannot find any resources, Christian or otherwise, to support Godly manliness and femininity. Even amongst my fellow Christian men there is a fear of women that is in lockstep with American culture. Thank you so much. You are literally doing God’s work. the situation between men and women is secular and responsible for EVERY ill we see in America. Debt, violence, addiction, suicide, divorce and overall unhappiness.
Why would you use an anecdote to refute a demonstrable and statistical reality. American women no longer possess the requisite skills to be good wives and mothers. That is why men no longer marry, that is why illegitimacy in the white community is approaching 45%. Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord. This nation has unleashed a nightmare with 3rd wave feminism and it is the universities that were the injection point.
If you want this message to gain any penetration with women, you’re going to have to target getting it across to young men. Young women by their early twenties and late teens who’ve bought into the careerist life path cannot be swayed unless they know conclusively that men will not pursue them knowing that marriage, family, and children will be only seen as accessories in their lives, than the primary concern. Young men at this stage, especially the increasing number raised in fatherless households will appreciate and respect the perspective these words offer and it is only by reaching them, will you be able to reach the women.
Yes and amen!!!!! This is a messege I feel greatly many young people are missing in these last days. I hope the Lord Jesus takes me home before I have to see much moore of this suffering and travailing in labor this old Earth is doing.
I for one am so glad my dauhgters have growned up to love Jesus. They know that the man comes first, and have learned to serve and be good obedient women in the home. My dauhter, Janine, makes the most wonderful rhubarb pie, which has been in our family for generations and is a favorite of my husband’s. She is a precious ruby in the sihgt of God.
My little ones will never learn the evil ways of this world, teaching them they can learn or read by themselves, without the men to help them understand. A woman’s place is to be a loving support for her husband, to cook and clean and sew and knit and be obedient at all times!!! And of course my hubby reads to us at night from Holy Scipture. It saddens my heart her and so many other young girls like her are taught they have to fill their head with nonsense like math, or that evil evolution stuff (the Lord teaches us we do not come from babboons!!), or that men and women should be the same. We are both God’s creations, but have different roles!! The nose and the mouth do not do the same thing, but they both make the face, so too is the home to be the face of Jesus’s bride.
Tattoos are ugly, and so are pirceings! Why would beutiful women want to ruin their faces, or color their hair crazy colors, or listen to that rowdy rock and roll? All the devil’s handywork, turning our sweet ladies into followers of Satan and enticing them to follow Al Kaeda.
LISTEN TO HER LADIES!!! Be godly, dont read books without men there to explain them to you, love that you get to make babies one day, and you will be happier!!!!
Wouldn’t being in debt just make the woman more dependent on her husband? I’m a very devout Christian man and I agree with most of your comments but above all I believe that a woman should be dependent upon her man. Otherwise I fear that the woman may leave her family for another man. I’ve heard many stories of woman who are independent and confident leaving their husband/ man because they realized they weren’t happy. I think that’s horrible and frightening. Please advise.
What type of school are they attending?!?! My daughter’s tuition is almost $30,000 for one semester!!
The title of this article is absolutely true.
If you’re smart, and work hard, and ‘sacrifice’ by living at home, you can get a degree, Debt Free, nd make good money after, if you want. I make six figures.
Sex is sacred, and nobody seems to understand.
Tattoos are immature and permanently ruin beautiful bodies.
If my wife wants to support the family by making another six figures together or/and helping with a family business, I want her there; we can hire a nanny/provide for a god-mother to help her. If she wants to stay home, I want her there. But this is moot, because nobody has family value anymore.
I love this article
But you missed a few things:
Super short hair
And disgusting face and nose piercings
The piercings some girls have make me have to blind myself without puking
I guess a woman can always grow out her hair and take off those piercings, can’t regain virginity and remove ink
I’m sorry for all of the negative feedback this post has generated. Thank you for sharing your opinion. I think it is timely and helpful. Even if people disagree, what harm is there in hearing and considering someone else’s perspective?!
Excellent article! Now if young people would read with an
open mind and with a heart of understanding.
Looks like you stirred up a hornet’s nest with this one!
As a guy who is also a debt-free virgin with no tatoos, I understand the self-sacrifice involved in each of those decisions. They’re not necessarily deal breakers, but they certainly are indicators of who a person is and what they value.
Thank you for acknowledging the value of these traits. I just read another blog which dismisses the ideas you set forth, and commented that the article “makes me regret every girl I ever honored, respected, and didn’t deflower. I don’t appreciate that.”
There is not a lot of encouragement to sacrifice in the way I’ve chosen to. There’s also a lot of pain for a guy who does so (men are physical beings after all). While your comments may make some people uncomfortable, they also encourage me to live for Christ and not myself. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.
P.S. I very much like the format in which you wrote this. Makes it seem like a dialogue instead of a pronouncement of right and wrong. It’s a very approachable style which makes reading the article interesting and enticing. Good work.
How wonderfully refreshing to hear a true Christian woman whose heart is turned towards God. These same problems have been discussed many times in my circles of the hospital. I know that you will receive many negative comments for speaking God’s truth; I fully support your position and applaud your strength. May you continue in this work and be a true blessing to the many families who need to hear God’s plan. Keep the armor of God close.
Common sense in a world gone mad. Thank you for this. The reaction this piece has gotten from modern xtians is appalling, and prima facie evidence of just how out of touch the modern church is with its roots and the law of God.
College debt continues to skyrocket. What are you talking about?
And even $6500 isn’t no money – most young people don’t have such savings to burn.
Some of this will be very bluntly worded, but none of it is to attack anyone. Iths just direct and to the point, like Lori’s post and it’s about time women hear what follows.
Your example is a rare example and not the norm and note how your daughter isn’t even thinking about marriage. Plus you’ve left a lot out:
1) 99% of women do not choose $6,500 degrees. They move to college, pay to live and run up a very high bill in school loans, which they don’t think about being that young.
2) For the most part, women get useless degrees in Gender Studies (man-hating feminism) which has no jobs, or Social Work or Teaching, both of which pay poorly. So who’s gonna end up paying for it? The husband, of course. Why is it that women want to be independent, but only up to the point where it’s time to pay for the consequences of their actions?
3) Women looking to set up careers are looking to set up single lives, not marriage and motherhood and taking care of the home as she should be. Men and women are not equal. They are not the same. Men MUST work. Women CHOOSE to work. So when they think it’s okay to put their WANTS ahead of REALITY, it’s not.
Whether you like hearing it or not, men and women age very differently! Men become “distinguished looking”, while women look worse and men are visual creatures and we’re not looking to wife up the “looks have hit the wall” slut who’s “had her fun and now wants to settle down”. Nature geared men to be attracted to young, fertile women and geared women to be attracted to men who have it together and that’s why men age far better than women. Your feminist anger about that is irrelevant, because it’s built on a lie.
What women today seek, is to be sluts starting in their teens, go to college to get a low paying degree while being drunk and getting banged by multiple men and piling up debt, then chasing a career and accumulate more debt shopping and then, when they’re older, sagging and have used up bodies with loose vaginas, want to find a man to wife them up before even more wrinkles appear so they can get the man to deplete his savings and investments to pay their still existing college and now credit card debt, as well as pay for the IVF they’ll now need and of course, since he has all that money, it’s time to get their name added to his credit cards and shop even bigger, while nagging him that he doesn’t make enough money and should get a second job when they start sinking financially.
Or, all of that, except she already had kids and now expects him to pay to raise another mans children and of course, women berate men who object, saying they’re qnot a real man”. And she worked before, leaving the kids in the cheapest day care because she “wasn’t looking to settle down”, so the children have no mother at home and no father at all, while she chases her career and tells everyone; “I’m all about my kids!”
Of course once married she’ll be a lousy housekeeper and cook because she never learned and will say things like; “I’m nobody’s slave!”, because her Gender Studies course taught her to and how “masculinity is toxic”, while teaching her to act masculine.
Yea, that’s quite the friggin’ deal men are getting! Wow, baby! Hubba! Hubba!
Yes, feminism has been so wonderful for women!
You keep writing, Lori! Men, by nature, want to protect and provide for their wives and children and wish to marry young, virtuous, debt and children free women and only the mind-virus called “feminism” would make a woman think that’s it’s too much to ask for a woman to want to support her family from home!
I’ve noticed a lot of people are coming away from this post with the impression that it’s saying that a girl who has debt, a tattoo or lost virginity is worthless as a spouse. I’m sure you were trying to say that men are hoping for a girl without those kinds of baggage but perhaps you could explain the virgin-tattoo thing a little clearer.
Also, as Annette pointed out in her comment the points against college seem narrow-minded. There are several reasons a righteous woman might pursue a college degree, (at the recommendation of her parents or because she’s called to a certain mission field…) and several ways she can do it without incurring debt or living in an unwholesome atmosphere. (scholarship… earning her degree over the internet…) This is from someone who chose NOT to pursue college but who still might do so if, say, the government required a degree to homeschool.
“Men Prefer Debt-Free Virgins without Tattoos” This is good advice, I wish you best of luck I think you will help a lot of young women make good choices.
One does not need to go to college. The trades are screaming for people to go to work for them. One can made awesome money and NO debt at all. O e has to work hard and wait for the big money. But such is life. Wait upon God and He will give you the desires of your heart.
They do, but where can one find such a woman? I live near Boston and every woman seems to dedicate her life here to be abything but what you describe.
This is true.
I write with no comment on your article–I write merely to inform you that today another blogger, Grayson Gilbert, has posted an article which criticizes some of the negative reactions to it. It is mostly a defense of your article.
Mr. Gilbert’s article is entitled “On Debt-Free Virgins without Tattoos – Stop being Gnostics”. At present it is accessible here: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/chorusinthechaos/debt-free-virgins-tattoos/
Thank you for having the courage to speak the truth in this wicked and perverse generation. God bless you.
Reading this blog entry made my day. Thank you, better, I thank Jesus for you. Our culture has become so pathological for a variety of reasons; extreme feminism just one awful example. I spoken to my 18 year old son about a range of issues and have cautioned him regarding the quality of young ladies nowadays. Fortunately he loves and respects me and has taken my words to heart. I fear for his future as he wants to marry and have a daughter some day, but he knows adventuring into the marriage mine field is quite a roll of the dice.
I wish these so called “professional pastors” would truly lead Christians instead of pandering for the purpose of fulling their pews and their collection plates.
May God continue to bless you and your family……..
I just read Dalrock’s post. Keep up the good work.
They should be ashamed of themselves.
We got your back, ignore the haters, history is on your side.
I am always shocked at people who live happy lives because they followed the above advice, who then mock and adimadvert those who give it.
The vast majority of women are not super special snowflakes of exceptional oddity. Nor do they want to end up like “the woman at the well”. Life is made of opportunity costs. Lying to women about the optimum min/max choices that will get them a loving home with husband and kids, ski that they can feel inclusive and be accepted by the worldly powers is despicable.
Keep telling truth to power.
This article is highly offensive to most women, no doubt.
…But it’s also the plain, unvarnished truth. Well done for writing it: very few women would dare.
Men, throughout history, and all around the globe, have preferred to marry virgins. It is the way they are created. It is only in the feminist, socially engineered climate of the modern West that men are attacked for expressing such a preference, since it has been central to feminist dogma that women should be “sexually liberated” — or “play the whore” as the Bible puts it. Had women realised that such behaviour jeopardises their chances of having a husband and children then they might have been disposed to reject feminism.
And so, in order to keep feminism going, men were socially conditioned (through fear of ridicule) into declaring that they don’t mind marrying non-virgins, and brainwashed into believing the lie that their wife’s sexual past has no bearing on anything, when in fact a woman’s chances of forming a strong, stable marriage decrease in proportion to the number of sexual partners she has. Western males have become fools; duped, willing cuckolds who marry promiscuous women, with predictably disastrous results.
And so we see the moral wasteland of today’s society — where (at least here in Britain), the average woman will, over the course of her life, have sex with not one man, not two, but eight different men. That’s all the players on a polo field. No sane man wants to marry that (sadly, men these days are ungodly, and thus foolish creatures). …And that is just the average woman.
Doubtless this is the price men pay for turning from God. Hosea 4:14 springs to mind…
I would like to say: God forgives all who turn to him in repentance and we are called to be like Christ; so any man who immediately rules out a woman as worthless because she made mistakes in the past is not someone I would like to know. I’m not saying that having debt, or tattoos, or tons of ex-boyfriends is exemplary, but I think men who dismiss women as lesser who have made mistakes are not actually living out a Christ-like life.
I count my blessings every day when I remember the day 32 years ago that I asked a young lady to marry me. She was a virgin, she was debt-free and she had no tattoos.
After that time, we have raised three sons together, so she is no longer a virgin but still has no tattoos.
I count my blessings every day when I remember that day. Would that there were more like her today!
You are so blessed! Doing God’s ways is such a blessing and He tells us his ways are not burdensome.
Yes, and the post does not say that either Abigail. It only points out God’s ideals. Our God is a redeeming God, but He first warns us as a loving Father to walk the right path. Do you believe God no longer wants His admonitions known within the church? Why not share God’s standards of what is not only exemplary, but pursuing righteousness.
Interesting thoughts. On the other hand, there ARE women in Scripture, recommended even, who do not fit the “stay at home” mother role.
What I find interesting also, is that in order for a woman to be considered “promiscuous,” why is not that same “label” applicable to the man? After all, it takes two to “promiscuate…”
Men are as scarred by multiple relationships as women, says research.
Years ago, a Time Magazine front page was a picture of a man,lying in bed, by himself, with a wall full of female “scalps.” The idea that, after all that sexual prowess, he was still alone…
Yes, Michelle. With thousands of posts, why not read many of the others that emphasize other key truths. One post can’t cover everything and everyone’s situation.
I know plenty of mothers who have tattoos, weren’t Christians their whole life, and are THRIVING in their families and with the Lord. Not to mention thousands of women who have had their purity ripped away from them or people from the middle and lower classes who don’t have Daddy’s trust fund to pay their way through school. I work 3 jobs to be a student, have had many things taken away from me by the hands of others, and I know I will be with a man who adores me for me and the ways I don’t fit the mold. It’s not always so cut and paste like you are. You can’t speak for all men with all different types and desires and backgrounds because you are not them. And if you truly think you have that authority then your page is bust for me.
There will be more virgins available to marry when Christians teach their sons to:
1. Not practice fornication, adultery, rape
and/or sexual assault against females of any age, at any time in their lives;
2. Be virgins and pure as the new-driven
snow on their wedding nights;
3. Remember that HOLINESS and sexual purity is required by all males who claim to serve God and/or follow the Lord Jesus Christ.
The Bible tells fathers that they are to raise their children in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord and the Apostle Paul tells us that if a wife has a question about the sermon, she should ask her husband at home so these are biblical, however, all godly wives should be in the Word daily and allowing it to dwell richly within them.
I never have written that women should not attend college but they must count the cost, literally and figuratively. Blessings to you!
Amen! I am a single Christian man and I absolutely refuse to court a woman who has marked her body with disgusting pagan tattoos!
Also, it used to be the norm that a woman would be a virgin upon marriage, but now that is the smallest of a minority! Feminism teaches women to be as promiscuous as they can be.
You’re awesome Lori!!! People are sooooooo offended to hear the truth in this politically correct, toxic “feminist” atmosphere. You spoke the truth and it hurt people. I have tattoos but they are very meaningful to me (my dads signature- he went to heaven 4 years ago) and I remained a debt free virgin until I met a debt free virgin. People say this is so unrealistic but just because it’s not common doesn’t mean it’s not the best way. Don’t be intimidated by the people who can’t understand your heart and why you wrote this.
Do you want your son to marry a tatted up slattern who is drowning in debt ?
they aren’t “mistakes” they are decisions that represent a pattern. There is far too much risk associated with a loose woman and far too little reward.
This is very sound advice and unfortunately hurts some.
Most women these days have had way more than 8 partners. They usually cross that number either before or in their first year of college.
Thank you for posting Mr. Gilberts’ article. His article was a great response and i hope those who read this will also read that.
Did your husband read this to you too? Lol, I’m sorry. I’m not a feminist or anything, but I think it’s pretty sad to think yourself incapable of understanding and learning. We are all made in God’s image, with full capability to learn and grow. Submitting to our husbands and respecting their authority is crucial, but they’d be pretty lost without our uniquely wired mind power. There is a reason women were created, and it’s not just because Adam didn’t know how to do the dishes. Also, if God just wanted women to act as these functional machines, you’d think he’d remove the mouth and mind. But God’s not dumb, and he’s infinite and the MVP. So yeah, we women get to do those incredible things like raising kids and managing the home. But also we get to read and learn and feel and think and experience him in the way only WE can understand. I just love God so much, He’s the best.
The best place to start in seeking God’s will is to be in His Word where He teaches us that one of our greatest ministries for God is found in marrying and bearing godly offspring. A few are called to be single so that they can devote their whole focus to ministry. If that is you, go for it with all your heart, but most Christian mothers can’t imagine life without our beautiful babies. Few will lead another to Jesus in their lifetime, but a mother can help God build His family with her investment of Christ’s love into her children, winning their souls for Jesus.
You and others are reading a lot into the post as it does not say that a woman/wife should not be educated, but rather think twice before burdening our family with college debt. Especially if you are not going into a career. Like so many you want to read your experience into the post instead of reading it from a perspective of what God admonishes and desires.
The fact that it all worked out for you and our husband may have far more to say about God’s bountiful goodness than it does about His admonitions. Will you raise your daughters to stay pure for their marriage bed, avoid debt and especially large and ugly tattoos that will scar their God given bodies? You bet you will, yet you will object to a post that tries to teach thees principles to young Christian women who do not have parents like you.
You are correct in much of what you write about what men want in a wife, but so wrong that women are not significantly focused on getting the best catch they can in a godly husband. You overlook the many Christian young women who need to be told to think twice before falling headlong into societies hedonistic ways. Are we not to be different from the world? And are not godly men preferring Christian women who are different by doing things God’s ways? This is what godly men “prefer” and not to say they do not have grace and love for those who fall short of their preferences.
Amen! But unfortunately both parents in many homes are too busy at a job outside the home to properly train their sons and daughters in the ways of the Lord.
Yes Katie, God’s grace abounds, but that does not mean that God does not prefer a better way for our own good. Godly young men will fall in love with girls who have not perfectly followed God’s ways, after all, they too have their own sins and issues. But don’t for a second believe godly men do not “prefer” that their future spouse be a debt free virgin without uncomely tattoos.
Yes Rudy, and this blog is written for Christian women. The men can teach what you are saying to the Christian men. Most things that are not done God’s ways scar us a little or a lot, and men should be taught good morals by their parents. The idea of a man’s sexual prowess is an ugly perversion of God’s intent for one man and one wife united together as one for life.
Fathers are responsible for raising their children in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord and when a wife has a question about the sermon, she is to ask her husband at home, but yes, certainly she needs to daily read and study the Bible on her own but God definitely set up a hierarchy for the Church and family. He makes it abundantly clear in His Word.
Hi Lori; you might have seen my earlier comment, but I wanted to let you know again that I’m so sorry for all the backlash you’re receiving over this post! I’ve written a response that I hope isn’t harsh or a knee-jerk reaction like so many others; I hope you’ll consider what I have to say 🙂 http://kimberlyhorton.com/an-open-letter-to-lori-alexander/
Very interesting blog post.
Let’s face it. Most women don’t really care about a man’s prolific sexual exploits of the past. Unless it means he is divorced, has been financially zeroed out with alimony and child support payments.
Women care most about his fidelity in the here and now for all of its indications and implications to her own security, protection, resources and provisioning to her and her offspring. This is normal and common.
Because of the feminist equalism narrative which now permeates the church and dominates pretty much other areas of public discourse (school, work, government), most women are seeking out examples of unfairness or stuggling to understand why men don’t think like they do: “Okay, so why would men make such a big deal out of my past sexploits? Why is it ok for men to be sluts, but not women!?”
Because men know that premarital sexual congress affects women differently, and that a woman with a roster of past sexual partners will likely struggle to have and hold a devoted and loyal relationship to him as her husband, no matter what he does or how he performs. And men understand what such a woman represents to him in terms of legal and financial risk in modern day western society.
And because human males want assurances of paternity and their own genetic success.
On the financial debt question, the US has $1.4 trillion in student loan debt. Two thirds of this is held by women.
Men tend to have more consumer credit card debt than women however. These two levels of debt do not balance out fairly, but it represents a significant barrier that both men and women more seriously consider for any future together.
Marriage rates are way down for a number of understandable reasons. And yet men are still marrying highly-educated, highly leveraged women. The propensity of such women to look down on such potential male suitors and husbands is truly astounding. If only we would consider the immense legal and financial risks of marriage which are strictly reserved for men. One would think given the current field of play in intersexual relationships in modern times, women would come to the conclusion that a little more gratitude might be in order for such men.
Amen, I love your comment!!!
MA’AM YOU ARE RIGHT!!!! I am a wife and mother to 3 with another on the way and your article is the true.
I WAS THAT WOMAN. Before marriage I was a promiscuous, tattoo bearing, indebted college athlete.
By the grace of God, He sent me a kind, forgiving and Godly man years after I had repented. But it cost me dearly.
I had emotional baggage from my sexual liasons that had to be worked through, over $11k in college loans had to be paid off, suffered through painful pregnancies and deliveries because of pelvic injuries from high impact sports and I was totally unprepared for domestic life.
We decided before marriage that I would stay home, the children would be homeschooled and we would help our children down a better path. Is it easy living on one income, being a SAHM? No but it’s worth it!!! I only wish I was better prepared.
Young ladies please don’t mark your bodies, give away your virginity and fork tens of thousands of dollars to earn a degree that has you sitting in a cubicle all day. Listen to this article and choose a better path!
Thank you for willingly sharing your testimony so, hopefully, others will avoid the same mistakes. God’s commands are for our good and for our protection!
Jesus told the woman at the well to “Go and sin no more.” Contrary to most “Christians” thinking, God does care about our obedience; for He tell us if we love Him, we will obey His commands. They are protection for us and for our good!
Yes Annette. We need to tell young women that they do not have to go to the $40,000 a year schools to feel worthy and to have terrific lives. College is a choice, so choose wisely, and count the costs.
You start off with good thinking, but you end up telling women “Do what is best for you.” That sounds a lot like the book of Judges where “everything did what was right in their own eyes” and completely destroyed their lives and a nation.
No Samuel, there are fundamental standards that have been set not because someone is trying to be a party spoiler, but because it leads to better lives. God does not give us His instruction manual then tell us to go do whatever we want.
It is far better to to teach wisdom and to ask others to seek it.
Someone beat me to it, lol. Yes, young men should be keeping themselves pure and walking righteously to get the spouse of their dreams. http://thefederalist.com/2018/07/26/women-prefer-physically-fit-men-good-jobs-no-criminal-record/
The path I try to teach comes right out of God’s Word as that is what He tells me to teach. I can’t teach your experience, nor is there any way of knowing if your experience pleases God, just because it pleases you or works for you. At some point as Christians we must confront the Word of God and decide if we will follow what God asks of us or go do things our own way. We all may have a separate path, but God only has one Word on the matters as to how we are to live our lives.
It’s no better that young men be promiscuous. Men can become just as damaged by premarital sex, and furthermore, if you think it is fine for young Christian men to engage in sexual exploits then you must also be encouraging young Christian women to do so as well, as less you are promoting sodomy! I expect more from a devout Christian such as yourself. Or rather I doubt you’re a Christian at all. Probably another one of those dang liberals trying to infiltrate the church and spread your pagan ideals onto the youth. First it will be promoting premarital sex for men, what’s next, women? Children?
Rudy said: “RUDY SCHELLEKENS says:
July 24, 2018 at 2:00 pm
“Men are as scarred by multiple relationships as women, says research.”
Not valid (e.g., nonfeminist) research. The classic Teachman study showed how even a couple of premarital partners substantially dinged a woman’s odds of making her marriage last 10 years, from 80 to 44%. Five previous partners, and she was down to less than 30%. Marrying such a woman is playing Russian Roulette with 4 of the 6 chambers loaded.
That’s without even getting into the Telegony issue. That’s where a woman’s previous sexual partners permanently leave their DNA in her brain, and apparently ovaries. The result is that if a man impregnates a woman who has had ANY previous partners, any resulting children would not be entirely “his”, that he’d be at least in part cuckolded. Top animal breeders often will never again use a female for breeding, if even once a male unintended for her mounts her. Apparently, this traditional wisdom has been borne out by modern science, like so many things.
Teachman graph: http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_R-WhB9g9eYk/TJDSr8V_ShI/AAAAAAAAAOg/VmMGTymAVcI/s400/teachman
July 24, 2018 at 2:21 pm
“I know plenty of mothers who have tattoos, weren’t Christians their whole life, and are THRIVING in their families and with the Lord.”
No so. Every day that a person bears a tattoo, they are in a state of unrepentant sin. Leviticus 19:28 is very clear on this, for Christians who have not torn out and discarded most of their Bible. Had Mary Magdalene borne tattoos (the Bible doesn’t say AFAIK), I don’t doubt that Jesus would have informed her that removing (and never replacing) all of them, and being apologetic about ever having had them would have been an essential part of his command to her to repent and turn away from sin, and to never do it again.
Further, when a man sees a woman with tattoos, he is likely to think she’s been with so many guys, that her “price” to bed him is likely to be very low, so she could be a good “just for tonight”. However, his hindbrain ALSO tells him that she’s at WAY higher risk of serious STDs (and there are multiple of those now that are INCURABLE), as well as utterly unfit for anything longterm, let alone marriage and being the mother to his children.
Just to think, Pam Anderson caught Hep from a rocket scientist of a tattoo artist who thought that sharing needles with ol’ Tommy was a great idea, if memory serves correct.
I don’t see why Lori should be worried. Most of the detractors have no ground to stand on, so why pay them any attention short of showing examples for good Christian men to avoid?
You have that opinion Abigail, but the Bible itself says many times to “Judge and judge righteously”.
I suppose maybe that means you aren’t quite as Christ-like, since your views sound pretty divergent of those of the Bible.
Matt 19:4-6, among others:
He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”
Sounds like God’s will there.
Eph 5:22-24, madam:
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
The Bible itself says many times to “Judge and judge [email protected]
Are we reading the same Bible?
Jesus loved the prostitutes and tax collectors, so are you going down the former path because of a Joel Osteen-like warm and fuzzy church feeling?
I hope not!
You mean well, Sammy, but
“Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment.“
What you fail to grasp is that men hold the key to marriage and until women start whipping out the rings and kneeling, it’s not their call on how a man values them.
As a Man of God in a misandrist satanic society i can affirm this that real men only want Godly women. There’s a reason God made women a virgin, to be at home not in debt at feminists colleges where by the time you graduate youre unfertile and created 20 years of payment for your feminist degree in feelings. Even biology proves women must be a virgin to please a man. Any woman who is against this hates god and is a child of satan.
You are 100% correct. I am a man of God in my late 20’s. All men say the same. Women who sleep around will pay the price of being alone because they fell for Satan’s plan, feminism. Thank you for standing up for women by telling them the truth.
Excellent article, many will refuse to listen, but you’ll surely save some from terrible mistakes.
t. Hot young virile Chad
I’m not a Christian but I agree with the article. Totally agree on the debt free part. Unless it is smart debt. $60,000 in student loan debt and you have a pharmacy degree? Smart debt. $60,000 in debt with a criminal justice or communications degree? Fooling debt. The virgin part is nice but not realistic. Even in Christiandom. I will settle for a woman who has simply limited sex to a long term relationship. Zero upside to marrying a promiscuous woman. Former or current. My other deal breaker is simply an addiction to stuff. Particularly designer stuff. I don’t get my happiness from stuff. I don’t like going into debt for stuff. I want no part of a woman who worships the designer label. My wife of 20 years has a few. She got them all when we were married. Not an issue really. Honestly, everything else I am fine with. Even looks actually. If a woman brings a package of morality , loyalty and being smart with money looks move way down the list. Seriously. I’m a jacked up bodybuilder and in my single days in my quest for wife material looks were the #5 thing I was looking for. I would have married a big woman if she had had all the other qualities.
A certain group also has a way to disobey the bible. It’s called apologetics. Any and every degree is worthless because one, it takes the wife out of the home and forces her children to be raised by strangers and two, Men marry girls because they want their children to be just like her. Families can survive with one bread winner. Two is selfishness.
Lori, thank you for your godliness in the midst of harsh protest.
11 “Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. 12 Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
Thank you, Isaiah!
I don’t know about this way of thinking because when reading and studying the word of God you’ll easily be able to understand that he too (figuratively) has a checklist of criteria for his wife (the church) to meet. And so if the husband is the head of his wife like Christ is the head of the church… I don’t think it is that bad for a guy to have a sort of checklist especially because I’m sure the woman would have one too. Trust me if one doesn’t check off the box that says…’do not indulge in adultery’ , they surely will not be getting into heaven unles they repent and turn away from sin.
I really do not understand feminism? they will see in the end how wrong the path that took in life was. Women will be begging to be married and have babies to take away their reproach.
“For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men, teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly in the present age,…
Speak these things, exhort, and rebuke with all authority. Let no one despise you.”
Titus 2:11-12, 15 NKJV
“You shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor tattoo any marks on you: I am the LORD.”
Leviticus 19:28 NKJV
“The rich ruleth over the poor, and the borrower is servant to the lender.”
Proverbs 22:7 KJV
“Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.”
1 Corinthians 6:18-20 KJV
“Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.”
Hebrews 13:4 NKJV
“Let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity.”
I Timothy 4:12 NKJV
“that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.”
Titus 2:4-5 NKJV
This article in no way questioned your salvation or ability to be saved if you have debt, get tattoos, commit sexual immorality, or partake in any other behavior the Bible calls a sin.
This article also does not say that you will not be able to find a good Christian husband and have a fulfilling Christian life if you participate in any of these or other sins during your youth.
This article is simply (and truthfully) pointing out that it will be much easier for young women to find godly husbands if they keep themselves pure and follow God’s teaching for them. This is both because Christian men have a God-given desire for Biblical qualities in their wives, and also because God blesses those who follow His word and will.
Yes Jesus forgives us of our sin. But He also calls us to turn from our sin. And if young ladies can live their life following Biblical truth and not fall into the trap of sin (be it in the form of needless debt, disrespecting their bodies, or any other sin), they will be much happier and, yes, much more attractive as an option for a wife.
The very first Bible passage I quoted, Titus 2:11-12, &15, makes it clear that a part of salvation by grace is a desire for righteous living. It also makes it clear that we are to teach righteous living to other Christians and REBUKE, meaning chastise/call out/discipline/correct, those who choose not to live according to God’s law. Part of the reason Christianity is in decline and more and more self-proclaimed “Christians” are advocating immoral behavior is because too many people want to focus solely on Christ’s love for the sinner and not His hatred of the sin.
Good article, very biblical and a must read for every young maiden. One of my girls wants to get a music degree in piano at BJU so she can give lessons from home when God gives her children and a husband of course. But she has to pay it off as she goes along. We made sure there is a good church to connect with. I think the perfect way is for them is to stay home until marriage, it does protect them. And of course stay pure until marriage and no tattoos is also a biblical concept. I do believe that the deceiver has deceived many in the church, and we have embraced worldliness in every aspect, from home to church and reaping the consequences, just the way Christians respond to this makes it obvious. Pastor John Mc Arthur in the 1980 had a sermon on the woman role and it said the same and much more on this topic and today they would snarl at him. We give in little by little to the lies and deceit and justify everything we want. An excellent article will share it with my kids.
And please don’t forget men prefer women without potty mouths. Here’s a excellent video reply to a video reply to your excellent article “Men Prefer Debt-Free Virgins Without Tattoos”. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3xnM35fmro0&t=118s
i found a great blog called biblical gender roles by Larry Solomon. Blessings!
I just recently read a secular article about late-30s single women who are bemoaning the fact that their frozen eggs are proving to be un-viable. They wasted their fertility years chasing a financial dream that was implanted in them by others, and have realized too late that they will never bear children of their own. So yes, Samuel. It is a very real possibility that the worldly model will indeed result in misguided women never having children of their own.
This is an article by a Christian to Christians. The Christian view is that all people are condemned and must seek refuge in Christ from God’s wrath. That God provides that refuge is the good news, the Gospel. The heart must be changed, it needs to be born again, to be a new creature. No woman or man with an unchanged heart will read this article and think to themselves, hey, this seems like a great idea. The hope is, however, that young Christian women will read it, and perhaps see that the narrow-path puts to shame the wide-path-preaching being drummed into the heads of every Christian from all quadrants day and night, even from Christendom itself.
If you had written that men prefer fit, healthy chicks, no one would have batted an eye, even though there are a lot of unfit, unhealthy ladies out there, who, apparently, would now feel worthless because someone dared to point out the obvious. Now, why is that?
Thanks so much for this encouragement. God bless you. I am a single girl searching but not desperate. If you are searching too, I hope you find what you’re looking for
I’m right here. Kidding but there are indeed these type of women available. Look in the right places.
That’s so true because we Christian women too have our standards for husbands and what are the chances that there are people who meet our standards. Thus, making it really hard for us to find husbands that will protect, love and provide for us!!
I think looking at this article I have some things that I agree with but some that I disagree with. Firstly: my fiancee is a debt free virgin without tattoos who went to university (in the UK so college for us doesn’t = debt) and learned to cook for multiple people whilst at the Church we met (as she and others hosted church members for lunch at their houses on Sunday.) It was also when I learnt to cook incidentally. In short, while I accept this may be unusual, learning to cook seems to happen more often than not in university. The Church where we met in question does have a lot of emphasis on biblical womanhood and manhood.
I also disagree that women shouldn’t work for pay at all. Unfortunately it is getting increasingly difficult to raise children without a double income, this idea that men have to “man up” and get a job that will pay enough to raise a family often doesn’t actually get realised, not because men are wimpy but rather because jobs of that kind of pay (even with a degree) are hard to obtain. I know some will say “a man should wait until he gets a job of sufficiently high pay before he gets married so his wife can be stay at home and homeschool the kids” but that effectively forbids marriage for the poor, which of course you wouldn’t agree with.
Furthermore I think there is potentially a conflation of purity with being a virgin (though I accept you probably do not conflate these two things). There are some who have been sexually assaulted that have been driven away from God by this false teaching. Further, virgins can be really impure in thought and action. One could get into the mindset of “it’s ok if I watch porn, so long as I’m still a virgin” ridiculous I know, but it’s a view I’ve heard.
Then again, I believe that the USA/UK clash might be showing here again, as we don’t have the same trade based economy, it’s mainly services based and that means mostly slightly higher than minimum wage (for reference for a lot of people that means £7.95/$ 10.17 dollars). I also accept that cost of living is different in the USA, so that might be an issue here. Even so the point still stands. Many Christians talk about the job market as though it’s all the same as when you were the same age, but it simply isn’t.
Secondly I can see wisdom in a lot of what is said-whilst at university I encountered a lot of ideas that are antithetical to the gospel, so anyone (not just women) should count the potential cost. I also agree that being debt-free is good, and personally while I’d be willing to forgive someone their sexual past if they were honest with me from the get go (not that it really matters at this point), virginity is preferable, and having a Godly attitude towards sex regardless of previous behavior is essential.
Also Tattoos I don’t really like aesthetically speaking, , but it is not a sign of being unregenerate as some are saying.
So in short I do prefer (and did prefer when single) and I do praise praise God that my fiancee is a debt free virgin without tattoos, but I have caveats as stated above.
Thank you for your excellent follow-up video, Robert!
All the women are aghast at this article, but all the men are nodding their heads thinking, “yep, sounds about right.”
A woman can get married without living up to these standards, but the point of the article is what makes a woman more desirable for marriage in a (Christian) man’s eyes. What about what women want? Well, that’s gonna take a LONG time to write about, so let’s save it for another day.
To Carrie Defoor,
“Went to college, have debt, married for 14 years to the same man, have two kids, a career, money of my own that rivals my husband’s pay,”
Just because you “say” you are Christian doesn’t mean you are. When it looks like a duck — talks like a duck — acts like a duck — … it’s probably IS a duck. Your life, according to your own testimony, is a perfect reflection of women of the world … feminists. If you’ve structured your life in accordance to the world, than you are not only IN the world, you’ve also become OF it. We are what we do — not what we say.
Please don’t misunderstand me; I’m not saying you’re not a true believer. It seems your life, as *you’ve* described it above, would mimic any number of women that are not professing believers.
Brian: Great comment!
An apt “turnabout is fair play” satire from the Federalist, aimed at the post-Wall feminists who are shrieking like stuck pigs in protest at the idea marriage-minded men might have any preferences:
“Recently, there have been a lot of objections in the evangelical blogosphere over a highly offensive article headlined “Men prefer debt free virgins without tattoos.” I agree with these criticisms of this poorly written and highly misogynistic diatribe.
When selecting a mate, Christian men have no right to consider how women have treated their bodies or bank accounts in the past. If they have repented, all of that is erased, along with the consequences. Jesus accepts these women just as they are, and potential suitors should, too.
Do you see that doughy 28-year-old who dropped out of community college a decade ago, whose reading forays petered out at Ayn Rand and “Starship Troopers,” and who cried all the way home from the county jail after his dad posted bail following last year’s grow-room incident? Christian ladies, if this man now confesses Jesus, he should be no lower on your list of potential husbands than the handsome architecture graduate with a well-used gym membership who just showed up at church. If he is, the problem is with you and the legalism that lives in your heart.
God accepts everyone who repents of past sins. Therefore, if a man squanders his young adult years on pizza, porn, and “Call of Duty” quickscoping matches, a woman has no right to take these behaviors or their lasting consequences into account when evaluating him as a potential mate. He has a clean slate with God, and that means he should have a clean slate on the dating market, too.
Grace means that the man who has shown years of sound work ethic, perseverance, financial wisdom, and spiritual maturity should be no better off in others’ estimation of attractiveness or husband-potential than the man who just gave his life to Christ after pouring his twenties down a black hole of intoxicated, masturbatory indolence.”
Yes – what a beautiful picture of grace and love. I hope that he helps her bear her burdens (even financial) – and she him. And I hope that they build each other up and are known by their love.
Suzie, it’s growing harder for men to protect, love, and provide for women because feminism put women into the workforce to compete AGAINST men for jobs, money, and power. This has resulted in less jobs, money, and power for men in society as women make up nearly 1/2 of the workforce today. And men without jobs, money, or power do not attract females and/or lose the female they had via divorce.
This social change of putting women to work has worked out mostly to the benefit of the government (two incomes to tax instead of just one) and to the benefit of businesses that are able to select the most qualified person (male or female) for the job willing to do the work for the least amount of pay and benefits. They have also slashed benefits greatly because they have such a huge pool of candidates desperate for work with both sexes competing against each other and desperate for work. There’s virtually no companies that offer pensions anymore. It’s their intent to just keep people working until they drop dead from old age without ever being able to retire.
CEOs are raking in tons of cash for themselves today compared to historically when just men worked jobs. CEO pay has significantly increased while the average worker has stagnated or even dropped in some cases in the past 40 years. Government has also gained a tremendous amount of revenue with the dual-tax of both a man and his wife’s income. Clearly businesses and government have no desire to go back to women staying home because they would lose tons of money. Government would be forced to reduce its size and that would result in less control over the people.
It’s only individual men and women that can see what’s going on that want to go back to the way things worked best between the sexes. But other individual men and women are married and both are making tons of money and they like this current system too. But they are the rare exception the rule.
Most people are still drinking the poisoned Kool-aid and buying into the idea that it’s “female empowerment” for women to be challenging men for jobs, money, and power and that it will somehow result in a better nation for women, men, and children. But the reality is that when a woman takes a job away from a man in society, that’s a man who can no longer protect or provide for his wife, which results in his wife leaving him and/or seeking work (and thus taking another job away from another man making the problem worse). No wonder divorce rates are through the roof today!
Men can’t thrive in this toxic environment and neither can women because when men fail, women and children fail also. We both need each other and need to be doing equally important but separate roles in society when it comes to family. Makes more sense for females to be home raising children since male cannot lactate and women tend to be a lot cleaner than men and young children tend to be a lot more attached to their mothers than their fathers.
It’s all about greed and people are being duped and used like willing slaves by those in power to keep making themselves richer. Women are tempted by the idea of having their own spending power for their own materialistic wants and men are tempted by the idea that having more money will lead to winning over a more beautiful looking wife. And it’s true that men who make more money tend to have more beautiful wives since money seems to be the key thing women are looking for out of a man since it takes money to be protect and provided for in today’s world instead of muscles. Obviously that’s gold digging on the part of women. It’s a bad system all around.
In order to right wrongs, it would take women to collectively return to the home and drop out of the workforce. And I don’t see that happening so long as it’s taught to girls to go off and be just like boys in life and spread this lie that men just want to hold women down and out. Men love women and want to have a woman to cherish and love. But of course feminism was used to distort the truth and make men out to be “bad guys” that women should not trust or depend on and to challenge for jobs, money, and power.
A lot of the breakdown in marriages today is also due to men and women being too much alike. Men and women are doing too much of the same thing – working and making money. And that means other aspects of family life are being neglected. Especially children. Everybody is worse off for it. Men, women, and children.
Too much greed in this HIGHLY materialistic society. Feminism was just a tool the government used to play women against men and to dupe women into working jobs and competing against their own husbands.
It’s going to take more than just spreading the word of God around to get women to go back. It’s going to take God’s punishment for it to happen when western nations collapse in on themselves. And that’s already happened in some places. Germany for instance has a negative native German birthrate today. This means that more native Germans are dying than being born to replace them. Well, instead of encouraging native female Germans to go home and marry and have sex and get pregnant and save their nation and race, the German government is in-fluxing foreigners from the middle east to replace the native population instead. Apparently, money matters more than preserving an entire nation and it’s native inhabitants.
They simply REFUSE to end feminism because it makes them (the German government and businesses) tons of money to have women working and competing against the men in society. But when it results in low birth rates because the native men and women are no longer getting married or having children, to the place the nation can no longer sustain itself, their government’s answer is to bring in outsiders to replace the natives who were duped and used by their government and businesses via feminism to make their government and businesses tons of money.
Yes, it’s difficult to teach biblical womanhood in today’s feminized culture and Church but I still must since God’s ways are perfect for us!
I have yet to comment but I find this topic intriguing.
I support the article and pray that those “non-virgins” and tattooed women (and men) don’t have issues of shame or unforgiveness. This article is not for you. And this comment too may not be for you.
This article is for virgins unmarried that would get married to, possibly, their equal a virgin. And yes, they ought present their best selves with much self respect.
Here, I’ll be speaking of/for the 60 to 80 percent of men that do not act on sexual temptations with others (they masturbate instead) while they study crafts and trades (or perhaps a college degree) and develop themselves for marriage. They often marry the 60 percent of women, roughly speaking, that do have some or vast sexual experiences or experience. Those women would be engaging sexually with the 20% of unscrupulous and swindling men.
Very often, in my experience in the UK and USA, its the case that the woman has had vast sexual experience(s) and the husband has had little to no experience. These girls often start at 18 years old and while not always the case, from a divorced family they start some a few years earlier.
These women get married at, perhaps, age 25 and after a brief 2 years they then withhold sex from their husbands. That is because they’ve had 7 to 10 years of sexual experience behind them with multiple partners. I feel the need to not get gratuitous in sexual description but consider that these women have had 5 or 8 Honey Moons in homes, apartments, cars and Hotels for days and hours where unscrupulous men pay for all the meals and the transportation, the housing. Then this woman finds herself trying to build a home, granted with stress, with a husband that desires sex from her, rightfully so every other day. Would you not say her “de-flowering” from a decade prior would have an affect of annoyance toward her husband?
A husband that had been a virgin or a non-virgin with mere “clumsy” unfulfilling sexual experiences of the past – this man wants to give up on his marriage because he would feel that she’s lived a lifetime without him and doesn’t care for him – that nothing could be special between them. As reported from my clients and the men I hear from.
This could be from the enemy or the devil but nonetheless they are extant feelings.
Scriptures say the devil comes to steal, kill and destroy.
I would say in Modern societies this less than ideal marriage situation can happen with rampant divorce and abandoned daughters left to be cared for by multiple boyfriends.
In many cultures there exist Arranged-marriages and/or there exist a No-dating policy through age 18 or 20 which by then a great foundation has been set up. This is often not the case in America where mothers and fathers are not even in the house when the kids are in their teenage years; those impressionable teenage years (with work and other priorities). I must say that public schooling does vast damage to boys and girls in regard to their sexuality and in these days, their sexual identity.
A young chap comes to realize, maybe some women too come to realize, that their partner has technically been in two or three marriages (so to speak) with the many Boyfriends or Girlfriends over the years prior to marriage. Again, it would appear that nothing is special for their partner.
The devil can use these past sins to wreak havoc and cause discord in a marriage.
As for dating and the current culture, could you imagine being a guy who has to spend money to merely date 3 women in search of his wife. He spends hours planning and comes to the table with 10s or 100s of euros/dollars over the span of weeks to date and, mind you, not to have pre-marital sex with a woman/women that has already had 10+ sexual partners?
Not too romantic, I’d say.
If made into a movie all people both genders would be repulsed to see a woman having sex with multiple partners then play coy for a earnest guy, yet this is the reality for many, its unspoken.
Once you marry, sure there is love and romance but it takes supernatural power from heaven and being washed/cleansed with blood.
Heb 9:22 “in fact, the law requires that nearly everything be cleansed with blood, and without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”
If you find yourself here as the unchastened Wife, again please don’t believe that a previously “uninformed” or unknowing groom sits around thinking about his wife’s ex-partners many hours per day. No, and there is love for their partner. You are loved so no need to fall into depression. Although every now and again this spouse can get pangs of painfully feelings of the past when situations are trying, as in say when there is an argument or upheaval in the family. His thought would be “could my wife be a different person with patience and understanding for me had she been a chaste (as in Chastity and celibacy) woman?”
In all this he can and likely still loves you.
Now you need to respect him. Eph 5:33.
You are loved and there are good times, many.
Young women and virgins, I say save yourselves to be the best that you can offer. This shows you understand and have self respect. To not be jaded, sexually satiated and scorned many times over before you even give marriage a chance.
When a man is going through trying times in his life and career, the last thing that he wants is a cagey/distrustful battle axe of a woman (even at age 25) with little patience, by his side. He wants a soft and gentle prudent virgin coming to him to bear children and endure the struggles life gives.
A man wants a woman that can cook and clean for him and the children. I submit, if a woman has spent 10 years having sex with strangers, she likely doesn’t sew and mend, cook, clean or give back rubs (bless her heart).
I challenge one to test the cooking culinary skills of young women age 18-25 at any university across the world today. Those female students would fail miserably. Yet they could consult on sexual topics and experiences that would disgust any traditionalist of today or past generations. You will always have corrupt people, please do not be one of those types.
Again, you are not worthless if you have a tattoo, were not a virgin or brought debt into a marriage from a worthless College degree. This is for the girls henceforth, going forward.
Some un-chastened Women get defensive and blame the innocent partner. Saying, “oh, its your fault for allowing the Devil to control your thoughts of my past sin.”
Or more corrosively saying “are you jealous?”.
The first part, we must take thoughts captive – yes those very thoughts of our partner in the back seats of cars or in living situations with others that didn’t find them special enough to marry.
But don’t blame the innocent harshly for not taking the many thoughts (your sexual past) captive; it is difficult. What with how many partners you’ve had and with little to no self respect. Thank God you are saved and redeemed. One ought make best attempts to not blame shift.
The second part, no he is not jealous. You miss the point, your Spouse would be disgusted – not jealous. He’s not pondering “I’d wished I had 18 known partners and 5 unknown partners due to alcohol” – no, not at all, else he’d have formed into a different person. Further, a chap is disgusted when he hears your past partners’ name(s) or, worse, meets them at, perhaps, a Family reunion bc the said “Boyfriend” is such a great friend to the family. It happens quite often, unfortunately. Most certainly there’s some feeling of discomfort and repulsiveness. It is not the chap’s fault, so be delicate, if at all possible.
These topics are not new ones, they’ve been discussed extensively if one knows where to find them. Philosophers for centuries have discussed the virtues of women (ie King Solomon thoughts) and men for generations. That this has gone viral, as they say, means you are excited likely due to being easily offended by such wholesome advice for young women that in good cultures was the very sustaining advice for that good culture, think for example, clean and decent western european cultures and/or clean and decent jewish cultures. Their women and men, both, would reflect this decency and respect for themselves and all.
Father God himself sought out that there would be a virgin birth (the need for a Virgin) hence there must be some meaningful message there. Selfishness and corruption in cultures of the World and within our marriages can end those dreams of virginity very quickly.
And quickly let us consider the widow. A man would glow to have a widow, would utterly fawn over her, even with 3 children if he could know that she was a virgin going into her one and only marriage and that she found it critically important to remain chaste or pure after her husband’s death.
With divorced women today, we find that their divorce is or can often be seen as a license to go to Las Vegas or Monte Carlo Monoco. Or they vacation on a cruise ship. There they acquire more sex partners. Or they simply choose sex partners from the Devil’s internet dating Apps. No commitments whatsoever. Don’t do it, it will corrupt your soul.
I pray to Father God in Heaven that this message is received well and by only those that ought read it.
You should respond to this person’s youtube video. Lots of young people have seen this video and seem to have taken this article out of context.
I have had hundreds of article and YouTubes made due to the outrage of this article. I don’t need to respond to all or any of them. I will simply continue teaching the truth of God’s Word to women because His ways are best!
I agree. Also not a Christian, but my wife deeply regrets not having kids earlier in life. She was not the most beautiful woman I had ever met (although she is certainly cute), but she had great character, a good head on her shoulders, no debt, family orientation. She also hates left wing culture with a passion, having grown up in Eastern Europe. I’d rather marry a woman with basic education (even high school) than some 35 year old cat lady with a PhD and left wing politics.
I do agree with being debt free and keeping yourself pure, not just physically, but emotionally and mentally!!! But I do not think it’s a bad thing for a young lady to go to college if that is what God is leading her to do! I know young ladies that still live at home at 30 and are not married yet because they are waiting on God. So not being married young is not a bad thing. God called Sara holy and she didn’t have a baby till she was 90 😉 My daughter lived with us until she was 20 years old. She attend university (with her dad) in a foreign county because we were missionaries. She told us the Lord wanted her to go to Bible college and get her education degree. Some states require college education to homeschool! But her heart was for kids and youth. She is finishing up her last year and I couldn’t be prouder!! God provided for every bit of her tuition! She is more spiritual now then when she started. She has grown so much as a person. But she still submits to our authority. Plus, she met her future husband in college! They were friends for the first 3 years of school and they both were secretly praying about the other one. And she may be a exception. Also, as a teenager I taught her how to cook, clean, and run a home, so she is full capable in those areas as well. Her desire is to marry, and work in a Christian school till the Lord sends her children. And her future husband is in agreement! Her education will help her with her own children, and to be a blessing to others, which is her heart. I do not agree with everything you wrote, but I appreciate your heart for young ladies. And wanting to see them making Godly Biblical choices for their lives!!! I do too… but do not dismiss a young lady because she when to college, that may have been Gods plan for her.
I don’t believe God ever “leads” a young woman to go to college, Juanita. There’s nothing in His Word that even comes close to this. As I just read on another woman’s post, she wrote, “I want women to forgo the norm of society and the way we are told to live and start seeking God’s Word and truth for every decision we make in life. Our life was never meant to be our own.” Most who go to college will have mountains of debt, be taught ungodly things, and see things they should never be exposed to and of course, college campuses are not safe places to be for women. If they want to go, it will be because they want to go, not because God led them there. Yes, He can bring good out of it but all Christian young women must ponder their paths very carefully. They should not want anything to stand in the way of what God is actually calling the majority to do, which is to “marry, bear children, and guide the home.”
Wow!Truth! It’s kind of shocking to read but unfortunately true. I am so glad Lori wrote this post as feminism is truly harmful to everyone involved. I know first-hand. At 17 I was very mature, quiet and shy and ready to settle down. I wanted to get married, stay home and have children. I was encouraged by everyone around me to go ‘live my life’. I needed to go to work to support myself, study and have fun just to fit in. Very long story short I ended up going down a very bad path that I deeply regret. I only got out of the destruction through meeting Christ and accepting Him as my Lord and Savior. At 25 I met my now husband and read the bible only to find that there was indeed nothing wrong with the original me who naturally wanted to be at home, serve my family and have a gentle quiet spirit. Sadly after years of sin and pain there was alot of undoing to be the woman that God created me to be and there are some things that well…you just can’t undo. I don’t feel sorry for myself but I do see that feminism, especially in the Church is seriously damaging and under-mining God’s original created order that does not change. Women fight for all these rights that they think they want, however the proof is in the pudding so to speak. The Christian friends and family I know who have a feminist worldly mindset are absolutely miserable! I would never want my daughter to live the life I did before getting saved and following the Word. I see young couples in Church who are ready to commit and be married only to be told to wait another few years etc which usually means giving into temptation and living in sin which seems to be perfectly acceptable. Seriously why would women want to be used up by passers by instead of having the love and security of a good husband? Women have abortions so that they can further their careers then later go through expensive fertility treatments because they left it too late. Seriously where is the wisdom in all of this!? God’s ways are perfect!
Beautifully stated, Megan! Thank you. Yes, God’s ways are perfect.
Thank you for your taking the slings and arrows to make an unpopular, but necessary point.
When we married, my wife was a diligent 21 year old virgin college student, without tattoos, and with very minimal college debt (from a ‘real’ degree program). She was able to pay that off quickly when she got a job in her field. She achieved her degree so cheaply by living with her parents, where she helped with chores to earn her keep.
Because she is debt-free and knows how to manage her life without overspending, I can now easily support our household on my income while she raises our kids.
Because she was virgin, she didn’t bring any baggage (or disease) into the bedroom.
I still prefer my debt-free, un-tattooed wife, because she’s a great mom, a great wife, and a great friend. And yes, I had to marry her quick because guys were tripping over themselves to get a chance 😉 Thankfully, she wanted a man, not a boy.
I think college can work out great for women when done cheaply, in a real degree field, and when it doesn’t involve living alone on campus or a big pile of debt. In our case, she lived at home and finished college while married.
My wife may have a fantastic 20+ year career after the kids are off to school, if she wants to. But as for “finding herself” and “enjoying herself in her 20’s”, she just never had any interest in the popular version of that advice.
So yes, yes folks, this is real and possible. And desired.
You were blessed, Mark! Thank you for sharing.
Thomas S. – That’s right college debt is skyrocketing.
As a 23-year-old woman with a career, who went to college (albeit in an unconventional way) and is now working full time while pursuing a graduate degree, single, childless, and deeply restless about my current situation, I just want to say that upon reading this, my immediate knee-jerk reaction was hurt. Like, way down in my heart hurt. In fact, I’m crying as I write this. But I went back and read your article again with fresh eyes, trying to put aside my immediate feelings and learn from you.
Let me rewind for a moment and explain myself: I want MORE THAN ANYTHING to be that wife, mother, homemaker
that you’re praising. Believe me, if it was up to me, I’d have married years ago and probably already have one or more children by this age. That was my childhood dream–married by 21, kids by 23. And here I am, 23, only having had one real relationship with a man I thought was “the one,” not realizing that the heartache I
suffered during our relationship wasn’t normal. And now afraid to give my heart away again. Godly men don’t grow on trees. I thought I’d find one in the church, or at youth group, or through mutual friends, or through my parents playing matchmaker. I even tried to find one on dating apps. But I have high standards, and I know that God has high standards for me too. The frustration of being single when I’d rather be a wife and mother is a small price to pay to avoid settling for the first man that shows interest.
I guess what I’m saying right now is that I’m not single by choice. I’m single because I haven’t found the one yet. I’m terrified I never will. But I will not settle.
I went to college. I got my associate’s in nursing at community college, and worked full time while I finished my bachelor’s online. Now I’m still working full time and also pursuing my master’s. I have no school debt, and I don’t anticipate having any once I finish grad school. I’ll still be a debt-free virgin when all is said and done. (The tattoo situation is a debate for another day).
But can I tell you the reasoning behind my choice to pursue grad school? So that I can work from home while raising a family one day. With this degree I can teach college courses online, from home, so that I can maintain financial stability while being present with my future children. And that’s only if necessary. If my future husband wishes and our situation allows, I’ll quit work altogether. I’d love that. I wouldn’t hesitate to go full-time homemaker. It’s my lifelong dream.
But in this day and age, it’s smart to have a backup plan. I think that by this point in my life, I have set myself up for stability whether or not the Lord chooses to bring a husband into my life. Every choice I make in my life bears my future husband and children in mind. Everything I do is an effort to prepare for
that–while also setting myself up just in case it never happens.
I pray that it does, though. I pray constantly that God will bring me a husband.
But I am not less or broken for being single. I have to tell myself that every single day, and I still don’t always believe it. It hurts to be single and I often feel inferior because of it. And in all honestly and respect, your article sort of piles on more guilt and shame about my current situation.
My career-driven minset is only a temporary measure, because my situation would not allow me to continue living with my parents at this point–wonderful as they are. I had to pursue a job and move out. I am independent out of necessity.
Your words imply that anyone who is single is single by choice. That anyone who has a career chose it above a family. And that my pursuit of a career is an act of rebellion against God’s plan for me.
But I didn’t choose this. This is not fulfilling and I am not content. I have spent the last three years crying out to the Lord to teach me to be content in my situation, but this is not my end game. This is a waiting game.
So I respectfully ask you: What is your advice to me and those like me? How can I glorify him in the waiting? How can I balance being at peace with my situation while also longing to create a family by God’s design? Do you think that God ever calls a woman to lifelong singleness? And perhaps the most practical question of all–do you have any advice I can carry with me as I continue to search for my future husband?
I’m sorry this was so long, and I hope it doesn’t come across as argumentative or disrespectful. I’m not coming from a place of anger at your words–just a place of frustration that my situation doesn’t look like I want it to or like I feel it is supposed to.
I just wanted to speak up as a voice for those who are still waiting and praying for the husband and children you wrote about, but trying to make wise and practical decisions in the meantime.
Thank you for reading,
You are still young! I just watched a YouTube of a mother of 11 who didn’t get married until she was 25 or 26. The fact that you are a debt-free virgin without tattoos makes you much more desirable to most men but mostly godly men who are what you are waiting for, I am sure. My post today is for you: https://thetransformedwife.com/what-about-barren-and-single-women/
Thank you for your quick response. I’ll check out the article you posted today.
P.S. I do have tattoos, each one carefully chosen to commemorate a lesson the Lord has given me.
P.P.S. I’m a really good cook too 😉
I have a link in this post about my reasons for encouraging young women to not get tattoos if you’re interested.
I share your heartache. I am a single, over 30, debt free virgin working on my bachelor’s (already got my associate’s). I’m single because I have high standards and refuse to go out with anyone who considers me a ‘conquest’. (I joined the military with my parent’s blessing because the situation at home was unsustainable.) I’m too stubborn to follow the crowd, so I never joined the tat parties (or the drunk parties, or other unsavory parties). A couple years after joining the military I found a great church that is very family oriented, but the only guy from church who has asked me out ended up disrespecting me on a very personal and fundamental level.
Like you, my choices are made with future children in mind. I want to be able to support my family if I were widowed, and right now I don’t have a marketable skill (hence college which the military pays for). I’ve kept myself pure (and eligible in all the ways mentioned on this site except for college because I refuse to marry someone who expects to do all the thinking for me!). I want children of my own. I would love nothing more than to settle down with a God-fearing man and raise oodles of children. But so far, God has not brought that man into my life. And so I wait, but not lazily. I keep going to church, living responsibly, working on my degree, and trusting God that His timing is perfect.
I don’t have words of advice for you. I just want you to know that you are heard, and you are not alone. Pray for me, sister.
While I agree with everything laid out in this article it brings me great despair. I was saved in my late 20s after going to college (twice), engaging in sexual immorality and getting a foolish tattoo (that I am saving to have removed). I am working two jobs to pay down my $100,000 debt from two batchelor’s programs, I moved in with my mother to further limit my expenses. I have kept myself pure for six years while the world all around encourages me to fall. I realize I will never be the debt-free, tattoo-free virgin, this article makes me feel like my past choices as an non-believer have sealed my fate as a permanently single woman. I put my trust in the Lord and wait patiently for my husband while I work to escape this prison of my own making. Am I any less worthy than other women? Should I just reside myself to be a 32 year old spinster? I often pray for the desire to be married and have a family to be taken away from me, but they persist. I struggle to believe that any Godly man would choose me when there are other women that didn’t make the same choices I did.
No, it doesn’t make you unworthy for marriage and having children, Ashley. I wrote this article for a specific group of young women who have not gone out into the world yet to warn them of the pitfalls of sexual immorality, college debt, and tattoos. Most young women want to be attractive to men. Many young women want to marry and have children when they get older IF they haven’t been too steeped in the feminists’ mindset. You are trying to undo the wrong you have done. This is a very good thing! You will one day be able to use it to warn the young women to not do what you did. Will a man find you attractive someday? I don’t know but one sure may. Keep praying and asking the Lord to give you your heart’s desire, then wait upon Him.
I belong to a huge men’s community and we talk about these things. We all know most women are in huge debt after college and take forever to pay it off.
I only slept with 2 women in my entire life, while the average women had 7 partners according to a study. it’s probably higher than that because women don’t want to appear you know what.
The reason I didn’t want to marry changed over time. The main reason starting in early 2000’s, is that a lot of women wanted to sleep with me, while being married or had a boyfriend. I just can’t trust most women.
This speaks to me. I went to community college and graduated debt free, and focused on my career until I met a wonderful man who is now my husband. We will be married 4 years this May, and have a coffee shop/bakery for the past 1.5 years – a literal life long dream for me. He works 16 hour days with me on MY dream, and our goal is to pass it onto our children. However, lately I’ve been desiring to be a stay at home mama (no children yet but so so want them) and I know I cannot do this as a baker. Please pray that God shows us if the bakery is His Role for us (we’ve seen many lives transform just from interactions in the bakery), or after our lease is up in 2020 is there another path that we can both work at home. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for this article.
Once you have children, the most important lives for you to transform will be your own children which will need and want you full time. No one will be able to take your place in their lives.
“since they’ve not been taught to live in submission to them”
It is worse than this. They have actively been taught NOT to submit to their husbands. And many women have friends who secretly discuss how to pretend to be one thing before marriage, get a rich man and then divorce him so you can live off his money the rest of your life.
Our culture makes it nearly impossible for men to be honest.
Great article. I agree with you. I detest tattoos myself, but it is becoming more and more common in the US, and unfortunately Americans are sort of an “example to follow” to other societies. Therefore, it Is becoming more and more popular in my country, means Mexico. Regards
According to the Bible, born again Christians are not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers (esp. in marriage) but there may be some left over scars (like tattoos) and baggage (such as old debt) from their old dead lives. (Rom. 6:21; 1 Cor. 7:39; 2 Cor. 6:14) The Lord also prefers that both the man and woman be tattoo and debt free virgins at the time of marriage.
Randi P. (I Agree)
Reformed Bad Girls, (sincerely or otherwise)
First, you are not entitled to a husband! Neither are good girls for that matter. Men are not obligated to marry. You actually have to make the idea of being married appealing to men, just like men have to make the idea appealing to women. Nobody’s owed here.
Forgiveness? Yes, you can repent and *truly turn* from your sins and be excepted by Christ. He will not marry you… We can be forgiven of the spiritual consequences of sin through genuine repentance. However.
NEVER are we told the the consequences of stupid bad choices just go away because we are sorry!
Most young women, including those who attend the false churches that fill this country are ruining their appeal to men for marriage. Your reputation as a collective for being suitable wives is all but dead.
Men don’t owe you marriage. Avoiding marriage under the circumstances being offered by most women is wisdom. Your behavior has earned you this. Grow up and own your consequences and stop the manipulating around it.
I believe every young woman needs to have a trained skill or equivalent education. This gives you time after the high school years to mature. Putting your education into practice gives you good/different perspectives on the working world. If you choose to stay at home and raise your children, there are still jobs you can have at home to supplement the family income. I became a widow when my children were 6 & 7 years old. I had an education and skills that were useful to provide an income for our family while homeschooling them thru 12th grade, and now they are (debt-free) college graduates and one (married) and getting her master’s.
Even if it means being $200,000 in debt when they graduate and can’t be home full time with their children because of their debt? No, the biblical answer for widows is found in 1 Timothy 5. Widows shouldn’t have to leave their children and homes all day to provide a living for themselves. Families, relatives, and churches need to begin obeying the Word of God.
It’s quite a relief to know that there are still true Christians left in the West. Stay true to the Truth, stay Chosen!
I find the notion that working in “healthcare, specifically pet care” is “helping those that need it most” to show the inanity of society’s perspective today. There seems to be more concern over the lives of animals than the lives of people. God help us!
These kinds of women do indeed exist. I personally have friends like this and am one myself… They are out there! And if you’re seeking the Lord, He will lead you straight to the woman that He has created for you.
“Amen” – ‘so be it’.
Agreed. We must be transformed after meeting Jesus, and he will do a good work in us.
However, Hosea had a bride that was unfaithful. Jesus has a bride that is unfaithful. We will be made perfect but we aren’t yet. This article has a lot of wisdom and that is good.
God is a God of Grace. Men who are following Him will be men of grace. They will not immediately exclude women who have past sins. They will marry who God has called them to marry.
Mercy triumphs over judgement.
You are Absolutely correct, and all the people going nuts on social media over this is prima facie evidence of that. Keep the faith sister!
So, Ashley did you end up finding him?
So well said.
I stumbled across this article and found your comment particularly interesting. I agree that both men and women need to be wary of the way she in which greed shapes and informs their decisions as it is a pit of despair and loss for too many.
Now, I’m not going to respond to the entirety of your comment at length, but I did want to point out a crucial inaccuracy in your argument against feminism. Please note that i have not provided any specific quotes or citations, but i have a wealth of journals, books, Biblical passages, etc. to support my case and will happily pass them along upon request. You state, “Feminism was just a tool the government used to play women against men and to dupe women into working jobs and competing against their own husbands.”
I do not know the extent of your knowledge regarding suffrage/feminist history, however, in its initial form, it was far from a tool used by the government. In many cases, women had to plead, work hard, and actively show their qualifications simply as a human being before even being allowed the right to vote.
Biblically speaking, Eve was created to be Adams partner, not just an inferior. It was only the effects of the Fall that caused the relationship to devolve into the hierarchical manner many Christians call for today. As Christians we should strive to live in the Grace and Mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ, living into His work perfecting us. This includes treating men and women as equals (who may or may not have separate roles, again I will not contend this point here and now).
Historically speaking, women were treated as less than human by the government and by some men (though not all for that would be a catastrophic exaggeration). I encourage you to read some classical feminist works such as “Vindication of the Rights of Woman” by Marry Wollstonecraft from the 19th century. I think you will find that the primary goal of true feminists, egalitarians, and humanitarians is that women are as human as men and deserved to be treated as such.
Thank you for allowing me to engage your comment in thoughtful conversation. I wish you all the best in your future endeavors.
Hi FLorence, Why did women fight for the right to vote? Because they didn’t think men were doing a good job at leading the country. They could do better in their minds. Plus, the majority of women had zero desire to vote. They didn’t want to be involved in politics. They were too busy in their homes. So this nonsense that women voting is such a great thing, is not. They simply wanted “equality” with men. https://thetransformedwife.com/in-1903-women-didnt-want-to-vote/
Eve was created to be Adam’s “help meet” not his “partner” as defined by many today. Adam was created first as a symbol of the one in authority, therefore, God’s authority structure was created from the beginning. In fact, we are told that women are not to teach nor be in authority in the churches but to be silent because Adam was created first.
Feminism isn’t what gave women worth and value. It’s Christianity that has given women this. They are loved by God and Jesus came to take away all sins of those who call upon His name but He’s clear in His Word that there is still a solid authority structure in place in the home and in the churches. After all, He’s the One who appointed men to be Priests, Kings, Patriarchs, the forerunner of Christ (John the Baptist), Jesus (a man), Apostles, Authors of the Bible, Elders, and Deacons (all men). We are equal in value and worth but not in authority and roles and to fight against this is to fight against men.
I love this article! So many things to talk about here. I lived a life of the world for a few years, and ended up engaged, living with a man, planning a wedding, then I ended up pregnant and boom, he vanished the next day! Don’t mistake the engagement ring for a commitment ladies!
Throughout my pregnancy people asked me to come back to church and I did, I rededicated my life to God, my daughter was dedicated as a baby and now as a teen was baptized last year. Her father still has nothing to do with her. She is talking to a young man from a large, strong, Christian family, that I adore and I have homeschooled her until now. Unfortunately she will have to start public school this fall because I have never married, my family doesn’t help me and so I decided to go to school, I graduate with my masters this fall and will go into a counseling practice (at least I will be able to set my own hours and I will pick her up from school when school gets out). I dated men at church but because I refused to have sex with them and because I’m not a Barbie doll looking Christian woman they all quit calling. I still pray daily for a Christian husband and in the meantime I am teaching my daughter how to be a good wife. I have her read several verses on what being a good wife means to the Lord, how she is to provide for her husband and children and how her husband is the leader of the family. It’s nice too see I’m not the only one who still believes this.
I loved this article, but what do you do if God does not ever help you to find a partner. I wanted to be a younger mother. I dated men who said they were Christian and then ended up not being who I thought. The only thing I could have done then was focus on bettering myself until God brought me someone who would be a good christian partner. During this time, I have found myself to further my education. I am glad that I did, because it is something I am proud of an no man will be able to take away from me. Now yes, my ultimate goal has always been to be a wife and a mother, but I am sad to say that God does not always have the same plans for all of us, so education is a good way to make your own life, while waiting for the right person to come along.
What if a young woman does find a husband yet has a ton of debt that keeps her from having children earlier in life and a keeper at home? Higher education isn’t the be all and end all that our culture makes it out to be. There are other very productive things to do in life without needing higher education and they don’t amass large amounts of debt and don’t teach humanism, secularism, and even communism.
At first when I read this article I was upset. As I read the comments though God spoke to me. My husband and I were saved later in life and have a blended family, so in other words baggage, baggage, baggage. The Lord laid it on my heart about my daughters. I would love for them to meet a Godly man, get married, have kids, and raise a family and not have to worry about things I did as a single mother when I was younger. So yes I want my daughters who are 11, and 14 to grow up with the ideal of a Godly plan for their lives.
So much true. This is nice to hear.
My wife of 23 years started her masters degree and left me. Divorced me. I won’t tell the whole story here…. but there was nothing even close to biblical grounds for divorce. I loved her. I’ve done every possible thing I can to save the marriage, and taken responsibility to the best of my awareness of all my shortcomings and mistakes in the relationship. She is not willing. What am I to do now at age 45?
I really had no problem with her increasing her education or exploring her interests. Why did she have to end our family?
It’s WAY too common, Kevin. We hear stories almost every day of wives leaving their husbands and it’s tragic. Up to 80 percent of divorces are initiated by women. It’s heartbreaking.
Education debt is increasingly a problem for women rather than men. Men are abandoning university in droves and when they do attend tend to choose degrees that will result in a higher income, allowing them to pay the debt off.
Meanwhile, large numbers of women are spending years at university doing pointless degrees and ending up saddled with debt in a job that doesn’t use their degree (in Art History, Women’ Studies, or whatever).
Lol Amen, I won’t say whether I’m a Christian or not, but I do believe everyone in the Bible had some type of issue.Though there are men who prefer a woman without those things, but we must knw It is Gid who can turn all things and people around, hmmmm sometimes we are quick to judge the book by it’s cover and not know that is the chosen one,but we all have opinions
At my age (50-60) my hope is to find a debt-free widow without tattoos who was faithful while her husband was still alive.
I think the used car analogy is unsound. In buying a car, a used one is often the better economic value. New cars lose nearly one third the value in the first nine months. But that means it fetches a lower price. If what you are looking for is a functioning automobile, the ‘junker’ is often all you need. I have felt impelled to make this point as I see the used car analogy all over the web, and I think it is causing confusion.
As with any ideology one wishes to advance, it is best to focus on reasons why you are right, rather than continually respond to criticism.. For an example of this approach’s success, read Lenin’s “Reply to Kautsky”.
We hear way too much on what women want. This gynocentric, hypergamic, entitled, monkey-branching generation know only one phrase – “I want. I want. I want”. With the legal system and culture against them, men are walking away from mentally disordered women.
I like what you have to say. Finding a woman like you is like finding a needle in a haystack.
Absolutely true. As a Christian man, I cringe at tattoos on women. Totally trashy. Would never bring a tattood woman home to meet my parents. Long hair, purity, and wholesomeness are always at the top of the list!
There are certain truths which stand out so openly on the roadsides of life, as it were, that every passer-by may see them. Yet, because of their obviousness, the general run of people disregard such truths or at least they do not make them the object of any conscious knowledge. People are so blind to some of the simplest facts in everyday life that they are highly surprised when somebody calls attention to what everybody ought to know.
18 If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you.
19 If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you.
This letter is from Paul, a slave of Christ Jesus, chosen by God to be an apostle and sent out to preach his Good News.
This post really made me think, especially about how I, a sixteen year old girl from a very conservative Christian family, should reconcile what the Bible says about women with what our culture says. Reconcile probably isn’t the best word; God’s word is always the absolute authority. No exceptions.
After reading this, though, I would like to point out some areas where I agree with you… and some where I don’t.
Colleges are a place where many young people turn from their faith. I totally agree with you here.
I also agree that the Bible certainly gives young women a different example than the world does. Women should dress modestly, stay pure, and follow God FIRST.
Which brings me to my next point. When I was very little, God called me to be a missionary. I honestly didn’t even know what a missionary was until then! I have also had several medical experiences since then, and I have felt God calling me to become a medical missionary. This means that I will have to go to college to earn a degree.
After much thought and consideration, I have realized that it may not be possible to be married as a missionary- it would be unfair to my children, and I would not be able to be a very good wife if I was always busy.
Your post (which is very well-put), perhaps intentionally, perhaps not, seems to assert that becoming a wife and mother should be the primary goal of all Christian woman. Your post also seems to assert that the standards of purity, freedom from debt, and avoidance of the temptations so prevalent in college life apply only to young women. With all due respect, I must say that I disagree. Becoming a wife and mother- which is a very, very good goal, and not any less important than any other goal -does not have to be the goal of every Christian woman. In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul makes some very good points about this. Christians, whether men or women, should follow God FIRST. And when God commands a man or woman to remain unmarried, or in other cases, to pursue a career that requires them to remain unmarried, then marriage is not an option.
Your other points, that women should avoid college because of temptation, debt, and purity- I do partially agree with. One should never bring avoidable debt into a marriage. It is unfair and a source of stress. However, should not men avoid debt as well, and thus avoid college? Avoiding temptation and staying pure is an integral part of being a Christian- should not men, then, avoid college as well as women?
I agree with you, though, that college has not always benefited our nation and the family structure. If a woman is married, then yes, taking care of her family should be her primary ambition. This is how God designed marriage.
However, college is also a wonderful place for a young person to become closer to God through a strong network of Christian friends, and God calls ALL Christians, regardless of gender, to follow Him, avoid debt, avoid temptation, and stay pure. God also calls some, even women, to be single, and thus pursue a career that requires them to go to college in order to advance His kingdom.
I’m a 30 year old man, completely lost in life, childless, single, without a wife, without debt at least. I never got any guidance from my parents, my father is a narcissist and my mother an enabler, I was the “lost child” in the dynamic, the one that’s ignored and kept ignorant without guidance to stay at home and take of them. Well, in my attempt to find guidance and better myself, I tried everything, eventually finding God and spirituality, that helped me a lot to get back on my feet and on the right path, but I have little to no hope of ever getting married and having children. I’m a good men, never did no harm, really like children, I think I would be a good father and husband, but I dont really have any hope of finding a woman that’s a debt free virgin without tattoos, that haven’t been caught the the grasp of feminism and brainwashed into hating men and being promiscuous. I just see no hope, and I know that’s a sin, but I just cant help it, I feel lost and hopeless. May God help me.
If you think it is hard for a man to find a debt free, tattoo free virgin, it is practically impossible for a woman to find a debt free, tattoo free man. It is so unfair.
Well I believe as christian man if I meey a debt free no tatoo woman its going to be very attractive that is not reality. Debt in these days is somenthing that is part of our life if we want to progress. A car a house, a student loan, school of nursing or medicine etc have a debt. With tatoos. I believe that do not show us what people really are. I know a beautiful, caring, loving woman that love God with all her hearth and have tatoos. She now say that she wish she dont do that and say to God, forgive me. She is awsome! and her tatoos dont chage her amazing value! Also my coworkers all woman with masters degrees and experts in their fields have tatoos and are more christians than christians without tatoos. So I think that even you are rigth in the ideal concept this is can be applied in the full spectrum of what you write. But i respect your words also as an author and Its ok to not agreed with an author.
What should a women do if she isn’t any of these things but wishes she could change it? And guys, would you overlook a girls past mistakes?
I have read the article. It’s a really interesting one. Even I am a tattoo artist and I can understand it. Your posts really helped me.
Yes a guy would overlook past mistakes to a degree, a guy cares more about who you are than who you were so the best thing is don’t put yourself in any more debt, don’t sleep around and I think the tattoo thing is personal preference but maybe not get any more tattoos. Also if you are a christian it’s important to remember that god washes away past mistakes. I hope this helps as although you may not like it is true. In my opinion the only thing more attractive than a debt free virgin without tattoos is a debt free virgin without tattoos and without too much make up.
“I want to raise children in the Lord … But I also want a … greater purpose ….” *Is* there a greater purpose, in God’s eyes. And as far as the “struggle” goes, that’s also God-ordained (see Gen. 3:19–which was addressed to Adam (male role), not Eve (female role). Eve’s assignment (see v.16), had to do with bearing/raising children and submitting to her husband. Instead of so many “I wants”, it might be better to focus on “God said …”. He’s wiser than both (all) of us put together!