Parents Pushing Their Daughters Into the Feminist Agenda

Parents Pushing Their Daughters Into the Feminist Agenda

Many young women write to me and tell me that they no longer want the college and career route. They now want to be wives, mothers, and homemakers. Unfortunately, many of these women have parents who want them to finish college and get a career before marriage and child bearing. These parents have fallen for the feminist Kool-Aid and are pushing their daughters into the feminist agenda. It’s heartbreaking!

One young man wrote this on my Instagram: “I was dating a girl and we were headed towards a godly marriage, but her “Christian” parents changed and kept trying to break us apart because they feared she wouldn’t finish medical school or that she would get pregnant during residency. They succeeded, as it was too much for us, and we really needed their support.”

So instead of wanting marriage for their daughter to a godly man and grandchildren for them, these parents prevented this and continued to push the college and career trap onto their daughter. This, in my opinion, is insanity! It’s completely contrary to God’s will for young women. So this young woman will spend her youth and most fertile years in residency and then in a hospital. Maybe she’ll get married after a few years of working. She’ll be older. She may have a baby or two, but she won’t get to stay home with them after spending so much money, time, and energy to get her degree.

All of the female doctors I know personally have told me they regret becoming a doctor. They are now in bondage to their career. They can’t stay home and raise their own children. Their husbands like the money they make and don’t want them to quit. Besides, they have a massive amount of debt they must pay off. This is NOT God’s will for women! This is the enemy’s will. He doesn’t want young women getting married, having children, and being homemakers. He wants them far away from these.

It’s hard to know how to counsel these women who no longer want to be on the feminist hamster wheel, but their parents want them to stay on it. Children are commanded to obey their parents. Once these children are adults, they no longer must obey their parents, especially if they are asking their daughters to do something contrary to God’s will. Sometimes, I will suggest they try to compromise. Maybe attend a community college close to home and go to classes that won’t have godless, humanistic teachings in them such as higher math classes. It’s a tough situation. I am sad that young women are having to be put into these situations, thanks to feminism that has permeated our land, and sadly, most churches as well.

I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.
1 Timothy 5:14

11 thoughts on “Parents Pushing Their Daughters Into the Feminist Agenda

  1. I am becoming more bold and initiating conversation with young women about their plans for their futures. Often, they are in college, pursuing in degree in a particular career. After a few minutes of conversation, I ask them, “Do you hope to be a wife and mother in the future?” I may follow up their answer to that question with, “Do you want to stay at home and raise your children?” I take a minute or two to talk about raising my children at home and even homeschooling them and that I would do it all over again if I could!

    I am just trying to get them to look past the immediate to their natural hopes for marriage and children and to recognize that the choices that they are making today could negatively impact those hopes. I am trying to plant the seed in their minds that there is another way, a better way, which society has done its best to snuff out!

  2. I think Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman played a huge role in deceiving the minds of young women like myself. I spent my entire childhood preparing for a career as a large animal veterinarian- which thankfully in my junior year of college I stopped pursuing. Only by the grace of God was my career not successful and I was able to pay off my large amount of college debt prior to marrying a good man who provides for us so I can be home with our children. I see my old college friends and roommates trapped in their lives and can only realize that it is by the grace of God alone that I am not in their shoes. I love your teachings Lori, and will ensure these truths get passed on to my daughter!

  3. I think it is easy for Christians parents who fall into this trap because it is more a matter of faith than sight. Unless the parents are visionary people, it is difficult to see a path ahead for their daughters that don’t involve college. Shows like the Duggars and Bates were the only ones who showed what it was like for Christian young ladies to move successfully from childhood to marriage. To be fair a lot of young Christian women in more fundamental households were overlooked for marriage and are approaching or in their 30s still hoping to get married. Waiting in their parents’ homes for Prince Charming didn’t work for them. I have seen one of the differences between those Christians and the Duggars/Bates is getting out. If girls don’t plan to go to college, the parents should spend the time/energy/money making sure their daughters can attend events with other Christians. They can be seminars, camps, mission trips, etc. Even area wide singings or tent meetings would be a good use of their time.

  4. Of course, a woman needs to be able to support herself before she is married, and there is a good chance she will never marry. However, the fact is, she is going to have to give up work for a significant length of time once she starts a family. Therefore, it is very important for young woman to look for portable careers ie ones which can be given up and, if necessary, taken up again at a later date. That used to be the case in my generation. It is also important that it doesn’t cost too much.
    I am also seriously concerned at the way tertiary education is heading, both for men and for women. I myself studied science in Australian universities 50 years ago. It wasn’t terribly expensive then. However, a noted psychometrician pointed out that you needed an IQ of at least 115 to pass the university entrance tests. This is not genius level, but it does put you in the top 1/6 of the population. From my experiences at university, I would say that is about right. However, when I read of 1/3 or 1/2 of American high school graduates going on to college, my immediate conclusion is that either (a) there has been massive dumbing down of the curriculum, or (b) they are teaching things that don’t need to be learned.
    All in all, I see modern college as a massive, expensive racket crushing young people with debt. And it is a lot worse for young women than for men.

  5. My personal experience is that I got a Bachelor’s and then a Master’s and worked for 3 years. But when I had my first son I took my maternity time and then I additionally took a deferment for the year (I worked in the schools and it was allowed)..and never went back. Since then I have worked different part time jobs but either from home or 10 hours or less. There really is no job I prefer over running my home and being here with my kids who I homeschool. At this point, the only benefit to college was that both my husband and I met there and were converted to Christianity.

  6. Amen to all you teach Lori. I pray you are able to win the hearts and minds of many young women. Thank you Lord God almighty.

  7. I experienced a similar thing to the young man in the story where a father pushed his daughter towards feminism under the “she needs to be ready incase her husband dies or abandons her,” guise. God’s system has safety nets in place for such women. They are to remarry (1 Tim 5:14), return to their father’s house (Lev 22:13), or if they are old enough they are to be taken care of my the church (1 Tim 5:9). It was very unfortunate that he believed he was protecting her but he was actually exposing her to so much else she was not designed for.

  8. So true, Lori! I have very young daughters and I tell them anyone can go to college who pays. Beyond homeschooling, a new alternative culture must be created to make traditional attainable and desirable again. I want my daughters to be very intellectual, but that doesn’t mean a career. God can use that in many ways.

  9. Hi Lori,
    I’m in a similar situation and taking that alternative comunity college option to please my parents. The college is in a different town so I’ve talked to my mom about moving to that town. I’m just wondering if you have any advice. I don’t know if it would be wiser to move and meet Christians on my own, go to a different church that I agree with, and have some time away from things or people that lead me to sin (the only Christian I know is my grandpa). Or would it be better for me to stay home and learn homemaking skills, taking care of my family, etc.? I think in an earlier post you said it’s good for daughters to stay home with their parents until they get married so they can learn these things but would you advise the same thing for women with non-Christian parents?

  10. K,

    If your non-Christian parents are good people, it’s wise to stay with them. You will save a ton of money and will still be under your father’s protection.

  11. This post is so relatable to my life! Met my husband in medical school. Before we got married we decided it was best for me to quit medical school because I knew I wouldn’t want to leave my babies and I would be in a ton of debt. My parents were very angry at the time, but now they are very happy grandparents! They see my husband work non-stop in residency and realized they didn’t know what medicine was really like. So thankful God allowed me to leave before I was too far in and now I get to stay home with my baby! I couldn’t imagine leaving him all day. When I was younger no one ever really talked to me about how I might feel when I had a baby. It was always a futuristic idea until I met my husband and realized I needed to actually consider what life would be like as a doctor and mother. The world lies to women and tells them their careers will be the most important part of their lives.

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