She is an Asset to Her Husband

She is an Asset to Her Husband

During the years, more than a few people have asked me why I use the word “help meet” instead of help mate to describe the reason God made Eve for Adam. I love the KJV Bible and have used it for many years. Here is how the word is used in the KJV: “And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him” (Genesis 2:18). Help meet – “which is to say Eve was created to be a helper (noun) that was meet (adjective), suited to Adam’s needs” (Debi Pearl). Eve was a helper suitable for Adam as we are for our husbands. Got Questions answered what a help meet is this way: “a suitable helper for a husband is a wife who is different from him, but well-suited to him, one who completes him in every way and who brings harmony, not discord, to the relationship.” A true help meet builds her marriage and her home up!

Many women (feminists) today don’t want to be a help meet to any man period. They want to do their own thing, be their own boss, fight for their supposed “rights,” and go their own way. A woman named Mary responded to a discussion about being a help meet to her husband and all this encompasses on Facebook this way:

I would like you to know that just because I’m a woman doesn’t mean I’m a feminist. My husband is a man who loves God and treats women with respect. I do not feel oppressed. I do not feel belittled. I am important in my family and society. I enjoy taking care of my husband and children. By the way, he takes care of me, too.

If you think that women don’t benefit from taking care of their family and being a help meet to their husbands, I will tell you. I get free rent. I get free food. I get free internet and TV. I get free heat. I get a free car. I even get spending money. I get the safety and provision my husband provides. And I get the blessings that come with family like love and friendship.

I do not hate men. Men have always been a blessing in my life. I do not hate children. I protect them. It is a great privilege and responsibility to protect and care for your unborn child. If that doesn’t make a woman important!

Feminists are not looking for women’s rights. Women have rights in America. Women are reporters, company owners, managers, athletes, congresswomen, judges, and almost anything they want to be. And it’s not hard to become one of these things.

Feminists are about sin. They want the freedom to be everything that God did not make them to be. And God made women very valuable and precious. But feminists aren’t even into their value as a woman. All they want is to throw fits about not being able to kill babies, not being able to be a man (which kind of defeats the purpose of a women’s movement, don’t you think?), or things of that sort. They are not even lovely when they talk about it (which is an awesome quality that women possess). They are hateful and vile.

So NO, just because I’m a woman doesn’t make me a feminist. I am a true woman who protects the innocent, takes care of her family, and am a true asset and help meet to my husband. And there are many more WOMEN like me who I think would agree.

But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.
1 Peter 3:4

30 thoughts on “She is an Asset to Her Husband

  1. Lori, you have no idea how needful and timely your post is for me today. Trust me, should you ever grow discouraged, just know that God is using you as that Titus 2 woman {for me and many other women, I’m sure}. I was just reflecting this morning how important it is to keep the house clean and orderly, smelling good, making good meals, and being of good cheer as I do so. It’s especially good for a husband that has a consuming, stressful job.

    God bless you!

    1. Thank you, Lady Virtue! I write for myself, too. We all need consistent encouragement as our role as godly help meets to our husbands. This culture does everything to fight against this.

  2. Exactly! We need traditional men to lead, protect and provide for us and they need virtuous wives to keep the home! BOTH are just as valuable despite in different ways! I am grateful to have been raised by a strong traditional man like my father and never once felt “oppressed” or treated unfairly!

  3. Whether they consciously realize it or not, one of the main reasons men are avoiding marriage at all costs is that almost no women today—and this includes most Christian women– want to be help meets to a husband. Indeed, they make it very clear in both attitude and word that they intend to compete with, contend with, and otherwise make life as difficult and dramatic as possible for any man whose life they touch.

    No man wants or needs this aggravation. Life is already onerous enough for any man in today’s world, living in a society that despises him and makes his life a living hell under even the best of circumstances. Tying himself to a woman who only adds to and exacerbates that burden rather than relieves some of it would be idiotic beyond description. Of course one of the central idiocies (of many) behind feminism, particularly the churchian strain, is the notion that men will continue indefinitely to do things that are not only not beneficial to them, but that actually harm them over the long term. Taking on women as wives who work against them rather than complement them has long been one of these feminist “givens” that is finally colliding hard with reality.

    1. You’re sadly right. The older women in the churches dropped the ball many years ago and few are teaching the young women the value of being help meets to their husbands and what this looks like. In fact, submission is seen as a bad word in most churches today. It’s a sad situation but we must remember that there will always be a remnant whose greatest desire is to please the Lord in everything and be obedient to Him.

    2. You’re so right! I would also add that no man wants/needs to be emasculated by his wife. But when women today seem to do this whenever possible, with words and actions, it should come as no surprise that less men want to marry, and that so many marriages are failing/ending- because it’s 75% of divorces that are initiated by the woman.

      Women today, are very selfish, all while claiming that it’s their right to be; I was actually told recently by a feminist that men are inherently selfish by nature. I had to completely disagree with her. I said, that completely false. By nature men are extremely selfless creatures- always thinking and worrying about their family, striving to provide everything for them, protecting them, do anything and everything to keep them safe and happy and all while not caring or thinking of themselves. I’m so proud of my husband and for everything that he does for us, big and small things, I could not express my gratitude in a better way than to do my best to take care of our home and children! We love our roles and responsibilities, and take pride and joy in them. Neither of us are oppressed in any way. We balance each other out, and uplift one another. As it should be.

  4. Lori, after reading about what a help meet is and how the word “meet” is used in the KJV I just had a ” oh duh!” moment. I seen the word “meet” used several times throughout the KJV and usually there’s a note that says suitable, proper etc. God knew exactly what He was doing when He created women. How I missed that deeper meaning when I read Created to Be His Helpmeet I’ll never know.

    Thank you Lori. Oh and with today being the anniversary of Roe v Wade I’m going to read again the post The Body Inside Your Body is Not Your Body.

    1. What a sad anniversary it is and the many millions of babies that have been brutally murdered in the womb. I see the rationalizations the women give for abortion and they are all founded upon foolishness and selfishness. We must pray that this holocaust will end.

  5. Thanks for another encouraging reminder. Yes, we all need constant encouragement in our roles as Biblical women. I am one of those “true” women; protecting the innocent, taking care of my family, and being a help meet to my husband. I love being and doing what God says we can and should do. It’s wonderful living in the very center of His will for our lives.🙂

  6. I found your blog by doing a search about the “unclean thing” in 2 Cor 6. I started reading it and was amazed at your insights….quickly realizing you were quoting our mutual friend and brother Spurgeon.

    I then read this post and was so reassured by your Godly stand for what true feminism is according to the Lord’s standard. You are correct in the assertion that today’s women’s rights movement (so called) is about freedom to sin….freedom from God, yet as always it promises freedom and results in bondage and oppression. A glance at the godlesss women in public forums today and their conduct, hatred and bitterness is so grievous. If that’s freedom no thanks, I will stay with my Lord. Thank you for sharing the Word.

  7. I am King James Version only, this verse is just one more reason why I trust the KJV. Even Titus 2:5 of the KJV has the right interpretation when it says keeper AT home meaning women need to be IN the home, like guards throughout the day. Other versions suggest that it means to “just keep up with housework” but not necessarily staying home full time, and I do not believe that is what Paul meant. God wants women in the homes full time as homemakers, not just part of the time.

    Titus 2:5 King James Version (KJV) “To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.”

    The ESV, a very new-age bible version, says “WORKERS at home” instead of KEEPERS at home, there is a huge difference between those words. Workers suggests just being at home enough to keep up with housework etc, but does not suggest staying home full time like a guard watching over the home.

    Titus 2:5 English Standard Version (ESV) “to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.”

    God places a huge importance on roles and positions and even angelic rankings in the heavenlies. A study on angels in the Bible actually is interesting because it clearly shows how important roles are to God on all levels and in all places, earthly and heavenly. People need to understand that these things are extremely important to God, that’s why it says “that the word of God be not blasphemed”. Trying to say that Christian women belong elsewhere, besides the home, is blasphemy. But instead many believe in the “vain philosophies of men”, philosophies like feminism, humanism, hedonism, etc and careerism for women instead of what God’s word actually says. They think they know better than God almighty, but they don’t and society suffers because of this. Christians are supposed to know better but many are not really studying their bibles or, in my opinion, are reading modern new-age bibles instead of the King James Version.

    Every single word in the King James Bible is important and new bible versions often distort the original message or meaning. This could be one reason why many Christian women have moved away from being keepers AT home, because they are not getting the correct translation (I believe the KJV is the *preserved* word of God) and their preachers are using modern new-age bibles too so churches no longer preach on women being keepers AT home. This is just another illustration as to why people need a bible they can stand on and trust.

      1. Just a thought to ponder…I recently heard a message about the KJV word ‘walk’ being translated ‘live’ in some translations. The speaker said that we’re losing the richness of meaning by translating it that way.

    1. The King James also has imperfections. In fact it has so many (as most do) that my cousin worked on a new one that is free on the internet. It is called the Modern Literal Translation.

      He can talk literally for hours of all the problems of the King James (and any other version.)

      Taking pride in your choice of Bible translation is not what our focus as Christians should be. Not that there aren’t real problems with different versions but then people start arguing about words.

      “If anyone teaches otherwise and does not consent to wholesome words, even the words of our Lord Jesus Christ, and to the doctrine which accords with godliness, he is proud, knowing nothing, but is obsessed with disputes and arguments over words, from which come envy, strife, reviling, evil suspicions,”
      1 Timothy 6:3-4 –

      I was once told that for those who are looking the truth can be found in all the main translations. There is no excuse to not know the truth. Those who don’t know it, don’t want it.

      1. I believe the KJV is by far superior to other translations but I certainly don’t take any kind of pride in it. I believe it’s each person’s choice and freedom to choose what they think is best but it’s not pride to think one is better than the other. Here is what Michael Pearl has to say about why he believes the KJV is the best version:

        1. I never felt as if you’ve taken pride in your Bible translation Lori. You have always seemed to have a preference but that is all.

          I’ll have to check out the article you posted (I just received an article from him about it in his newsletter as well). I’ve attended a sermon on it once by a King James only preacher. There are definitely differences between the versions but it is rare that the issues with the King James are mentioned. It seems to be quite one-sided.

  8. I love my role as a wife and mother! Several years ago, I went through a phase when I was a lot more egalitarian and liberal in my worldview, and I was quite depressed—I was even on antidepressants for a while. Then one year, my whole perspective changed and I embraced my role as a help meet and I’ve become so satisfied with life and I’m a lot happier! My husband works so hard to provide for me and the children, the least I can do is aspire to be a Proverbs 31 woman and embrace my role. I’ve become a lot stronger in my faith, too!

  9. I for one am happy to do all the work inside the house, including cooking, cleaning, childcare, financial, shopping for clothes and toys, taking kids to various appts and therapies. I make sure that I have enough time to make myself look pretty, the children fed, bathed and in bed before he comes home. He has his tea while I fold the clothes. I try my best to have an hour or two with him before I go to bed. He is very lucky! He is able to relax and enjoy himself after he comes home. Wise words, Lori😁

  10. While the words written are “help meet”, they are not a single term. “Meet” in tis case stands alone and has it’s own meaning. “Meet” means “suitable” or “comensurate”.

    You can see it more clearly in other places where it is used, such as when Jesus says to the religious leaders of his time, “Bring forth fruit meet for repentance”. In other words, “show me fruit that is suitable proof of your repentance”.

    Same here, in Genesis.

    Also noteworthy is the question of what IS Eve’s work?

    Eve’s work isn’t the field. That work God gave to Adam, as evidenced by the fact that after the fall, God tells Adam “By your toil and labor shall the ground yield to you”. God didn’t make Eve to work the field. Eve, being a helper to Adam wasn’t tasked with working the field. That requires the strength and stamina of the man, Adam.

    So while Adam’s work was the field, Eve’s work was…. Adam himself.

    She is to be a help, support, encouragement, and sustainer of Adam while HE went about the work that God had tasked him with.

  11. I love everything about your article though I would ask you to examine the “free” rent, food etc. Though a stay at home wife, mom…May not be receiving a “paycheck” she more than earns her keep in what she provides for the family. I do understand the message you are conveying.

    1. Free as in not earning a paycheck which is greatly devalued in our culture. Earning a paycheck is an idol! Therefore, motherhood is looked down upon. Just because we don’t earn a paycheck doesn’t mean we aren’t doing valuable work but having a husband who works for a paycheck sure takes a huge load off of us!

      1. I agree completely with you Lori. It seems like today in this feminist dominated society, we are pushed into a corner and feel like we often have to defend ourselves (100% 2nd generation Titus 2 girl here!!) I get tired of reading all the “mommy wars – working moms vs. stay at home moms” articles because it seems that women who stay home according to God’s plan have to put a price tag on the worth of what they do everyday to justify their role in the family and society. I think even using the word “work” polarizes us as we are forced to justify its definition. My mom never “worked” and I have never “worked.” I married my wonderful husband at 19 and immediately got pregnant and started our family. My role is being pregnant, having and raising our children, supporting and obeying my husband and taking care of our household and serving the Lord. I call that obeying God’s word and God’s plan for myself and my family. I don’t call that “work.” When asked what I do I always just say “Oh I don’t work” to avoid lengthy discussions, and of course I’m asked (mostly by other women) “Then what do you do all day?” My response is “whatever the day calls for when I wake up in the morning!” I certainly don’t criticize women that have a career, go to school (neither for me thanks!!) or whatever they do in their lives, but I firmly believe I am truly fulfilling my role as a wife and mother (my youngest is 21 now!) and being a servant of our Lord.

  12. Good article. Look at Psalm 121:2. Same word as in Genesis 2. Helpmeet or helpmate is in no way a disparaging term, since it is used of God. It speaks of completing, helping, etc.

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