Written by Trey M.

I grew up in a home where my father was not saved. My mother took my brother and me to church every time the doors were open, and my father did not object. We went to Sunday School, Church, VBS, summer church camps; everything the church had to offer for children and youth.

The times my father wanted to do something else on Sunday (go camping or fishing), my mother joyfully went, participated, and never complained about missing church. Honestly, she never complained about anything that I can remember. She worked a 40 hour a week job outside of our home, kept our home spotless, all the clothes washed, cooked all of the meals, and even did the lawncare until I was old enough to do it. She loved and served my father, and he knew it.

Even though my father was lost and imperfect in many ways (tobacco, drinking, cursing, bad TV, etc.), I never heard a dishonoring word come out of her mouth about him. She always taught my brother and me to respect him and hold him in the highest regard. Both my brother and I came to a saving knowledge of Christ at a very young age.

It took 17 years (after they were married) but my father eventually got saved and became the spiritual leader of our family. When asked about his salvation, his testimony was that my mother drew him to Christ.

“Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.” (1 Peter 3:1-6)

My father said it was my mother’s commitment to Christ, and submission and service to him (deep inside he knew he did not deserve) that drew him to Christianity.

Continue to be obedient to what God tells you to do and trust in Him without being afraid. Always teach your children to respect and honor their father. NEVER speak critically of him in their hearing (or really to anyone). Get them involved in church as much as is practical and no matter what happens, you and your family will experience the best possible outcome (according to God’s will).

***I do believe a woman in this situation should find a godly, older, and wise woman to share her burdens with. An older woman who will encourage her and give her sound, biblical advice. Some woman like Trey’s mother seemed to be able to do it without this, but many won’t be able to do this alone. She needs to be reminded that Christ works mightily within her, the joy of the Lord is her strength, and she can do all things through Christ who strengthens her. She will want a woman will help her to keep fighting for her marriage and her husband’s eternal soul, not one who will encourage her to quit when the going gets tough. We are promised tribulation and suffering in this world, but God promises to never leave nor forsake us!