The Beauty of Being Virgins on the Wedding Night

The Beauty of Being Virgins on the Wedding Night

God’s will for us is to only have sex within the bonds of marriage. My Mom taught us to wait for sex until we were married and I’m glad she did. I knew sex outside of marriage was wrong and would only give myself to the man who put a ring on my finger and vowed until death do us part. We taught our children the same thing. It’s safe boundaries for them. Children need and want boundaries, especially in this highly-sexualized culture we live in.

We are commanded in 3 John 11 to “follow not that which is evil, but that which is good.” So we follow the good, right, and holy in what we fill our minds with, what we see, and what we do. Before marriage, we follow sexual purity in all of our relationships. These are for our good! All of God’s commands to us are for our benefit.

I asked the women in the chat room, “If you were a virgin on your honeymoon, what benefit did you and have you found from being one?” Here are many of their responses:

 “I remember on my honeymoon night thinking, ‘I am so glad I am married to this man since it’s SO intimate and we have LOTS of time to practice.’ 🙂 I also loved and love knowing that neither of us have anyone else to compare with and there was no chance of sexual diseases.”

“Knowing that I kept myself pure for my husband! It’s a great feeling still when I think about it now.”

“It’s a special gift I gave my husband.”

“I remember waking up on my wedding morning so thankful that I was a virgin. I would say that since we have both only with each other we trust each other a lot more than some of of our friends who did not save sex for marriage.”

“I am thankful that I saved myself for marriage. My husband was the same way so we both were able to learn only about each other.”

“Starting my marriage and faith in Christ with no baggage of sexual immorality is a blessing. It’s a great feeling that I did not fail in this area before coming to Christ and that I was pure for my husband to be solely his.”

“I think just knowing that we are the only ones who have ever seen each other in this way and definitely having no one else to compare with. It just makes it so much more special knowing that we saved ourselves for each other.”

“It made me feel safe because it’s so vulnerable that I couldn’t imagine sharing that experience with someone who didn’t just vow in front of God and witnesses to love you forever. I must say I was so nervous about leaving our wedding because I suspected most people knew we waited, so it was so awkward. I know I shouldn’t have been, but it was, at least for me.”

“Knowing that we will never have to worry about comparisons to past partners is something that secures us. Having something you’ve shared with literally only ONE person in the entire world is pretty amazing!”

“I felt like it was a very special gift we have to each other. There was no comparison, no pressure, just pure love and marital passion. 🤗”

“You are all very blessed!!!! I pray my kids will be able to make comments like this one day!”

“I loved that we both waited for our wedding night. I remember the day after our wedding night and being so aware of that oneness. In a day and age where so many people don’t think twice about sex before marriage, I trusted God’s ways and waited. And I was blessed more than I thought I ever could be. I am the only one in my family who waited until marriage and I love the fact that when we have children and discuss this issue, we can tell them that regardless of what the world says, we obeyed God and His word.”

“It was wonderful to be able to tell our children that in this sexually saturated culture that we waited until marriage and all of our children waited, too! They knew it was possible!”

“Purity, honesty, and loyalty… The promise of a complete and whole marriage that was not contaminated by immorality but filled with a true and lasting friendship that only he and I would experience with each other.”

“I thought it was a special gift we saved for each other and was so excited and nervous at the same time; to learn and enjoy one another in the most possible closeness with God’s blessing and permission.”

“I love(d) that my only experience has been how he/we like it. I don’t have to worry about past experiences clouding my mind.”

“I love that my memory of my first time is one I can remember fondly with him, not one I have to feel ashamed of.”

“Well…. I wasn’t a virgin, but I’m going to do everything I can to teach my kids how important it is to wait. These stories are beautiful.”

“Yes, my husband and I both were. It’s nice to learn it together, with no expectations and nothing to compare to. It’s special to only share that with your spouse. As with other ladies here, I agree pornography addiction definitely feels like an invasion and betrayal of that pure, private experience though.”

“We both were virgins and I think that has helped me completely trust him with myself, body, soul, emotions, etc. We both had insecurities about our bodies which the other was able to love unconditionally. I love the fact that he has been the only one I’ve ever been with so intimately! I have no images or emotions to overcome from past relationships. I’m also glad I can tell our children mommy and daddy understand the struggle but waited and are so thankful we did and encourage them to do the same. I remember we were so ready that we didn’t even stay very long at our reception! Like only one and a half hours and we were out of there!”

Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.
Hebrews 13:4

11 thoughts on “The Beauty of Being Virgins on the Wedding Night

  1. Giving all my “brand new” being to the man I had marry that afternoon was a delightful thing. For me it was a very important moment, and I told my new husband that I wanted to pray together before that first precious moment of union. I’ll never forget the beauty of it!!!

  2. Such BEAUTIFUL testimonies about the goodness and faithfulness of our Lord! Thank you, Lori, for continuing to remind us that God’s ways are BEST! A VERY Happy Easter to you and your family!

  3. I wasn’t a virgin on my wedding day, but I’ve only slept with my husband and I was a virgin until age 33 (late 33.) Also, our wedding day wasn’t that far off as we wanted to start for children right away, and I have never used any form of birth control.

    I dated guys before my husband…I had a decent number of dates. So I think my level of self-control for a female is extraordinarily high and rare.

    I would not recommend ‘being thrown on the dating meat market’ for any other woman, as most girls are much nicer than me and would give in easier.

    Here’s some interesting thoughts…

    If you are a virgin due to religious reasons, you need to get married young, avoid dating (the Duggars are 100% right), and stay within your community.

    Religion is not enough to beat Hormones though…a bit of practical cynicism is needed.

    If you are a Cynical Virgin…here’s reasons to Keep it Up…

    – Over three sexual partners and a female will stop bonding with any future man…I see this EVERY DAY…Last night a girlfriend randomly brought up pictures of her first boyfriend and their bedroom…There’s some serious mental issues in that stuff, and her current beau is a great guy!

    – Even in college I began seeing females get depression after X number of sexual partners.

    Multiple Sexual Partners Leads to Mental Illness in Women

    I would highlight that in bold if I could.

    – On a cynical level…Virginity has material value as well.

    A Good Man Will Always Marry A Virgin. Always. Repeat that…A Good Man Will Always Marry A Virgin. If you are a virgin and he knows you are a virgin and he isn’t planning the wedding day within the first few dates…RUN! Run so fast! And do not sleep with him of course!

    My husband was planning the wedding speech by our 2nd week of dating (2nd month of knowing one another…all men know whether they want to marry you within 90 days of meeting.) By 90 days he knows if you are ‘The One.’

    If you find a Good man who is Marriage Minded (wants kids, is ready for kids, has a job, has maybe even a house etc etc) and You are A Virgin and refuse to use Birth Control then he will marry you.

    If you’re under 25, Men Will Wait for You. Under 25 (even 28 if you stay young looking) females have all of the power and there is absolutely No Reason To Give in Sexually. If you love him with all of your heart, just get married quicker!

    Making it known upfront that you do not use birth control due to religious reasons is a great way to Scare Pick-Up Artists Away and other Sociopaths.

    One guy after he found out I was Catholic and wanted to get Pregnant Right Away admitted that he was married with three kids and was attempting to cheat on his wife with me.

    True story.

    Virginity is the great protector from psychopaths and prevents females from turning into mentally deranged harpies in old age.

    All those 50+ divorced women who hang out playing cards and ruining their children’s lives while saying ‘Oh if I was younger I would be all over this 20 something year old actor’ while encouraging their daughter’s to use birth control so that the daughter can be miserable too in old age blah blah blah blah—They weren’t virgins upon marriage…and they are the most miserable people on the planet.

    I think that vision (or meeting those elderly divorcees) is enough to make every teenage girl not have sex.

    1. Hi Christine. I appreciate your thoughts on this. But your comment on the divorced women hurt. I’m divorced too. I was a virgin on my wedding night. Forget about virginity. I hardly dated anyone before I got married. Still, in spite of all this , I m divorced. Its a horrible horrible feeling. We can’t take anything for granted on life. If we mock someone today, we may find ourselves in their shoes tomorrow ,understanding each and every hurt and pain. Be kinder. God works mysteriously sometimes. But I agree we should always wait for the wedding night.

  4. There’s this great scene in ‘The B from Apt 23’ where Chloe goes to a bar filled with Aged Whores…

    Yupp. That’s what they actually turn into.

    And that girls, is why you stay a virgin.

  5. I thought I’d add my two cents to this older post. Virginity is an extremely precious gift that a man and a woman give to each other on their wedding night. The world sees this as no big deal. The ‘have sex with anyone’ idea that they would have you believe is wrong on so many levels. At the very beginning God ordained that one woman and one man would be together for life. They would become one flesh. The reason why virginity is such a big deal is because there is not only a physical bond taking place, but also a spiritual bond. If we were like animals and had sex strictly for procreation, then why does it hurt so much emotionally to have our spouse cheat on us? It’s because we have trusted each other with something very precious which is the physical and spiritual act of joining together as one flesh. Sex is something that sin and satan have made dirty and shameful, but within the correct framework of marriage, it’s beautiful. 🙂

    Sexual purity is also very important to maintain before marriage. The idea that it’s ok to participate in ‘heavy petting’ before marriage is also wrong. The urge to want to please each other physically is very strong especially when you’ve pledged yourself to each other during courtship and engagement. To act on those feelings before marriage awakens desires that are almost unable to be controlled. You want to have those feelings and sensations again, but it’s called lust not love, and it brings forth sin. Once awakened, it never leaves you even if you did break off the engagement. So, sexual purity is just as important as virginity. That’s why the Bible says to flee (run away from!) youthful lusts.

  6. Oh my gosh these stories are SO beautiful!!! I am 15 (virgin) and am going to wait to have sex until im married and I am so glad there are so many other people who have waited. This gives me hope that my husband will be virgin too…

    1. Trust God for a husband & He will give you the desires of your heart.
      My daughter 24 & son 26 are both virgins . . . . it can be done, if Jesus takes centre stage in your life
      I will pray that God gives you that amazing & Godly man . . . . be wary of the wiles of satan & his tricks to deceive you

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