The Devil Hates Your Marriage
Written By John Michael Clark
The devil hates your marriage.
He uses lies and temptations and seeks to divide the two who have become one.
This is why it’s so painful when a husband and wife are living under the influence of his lies.
And one area in particular he attacks in marriage is sex.
The devil wants everybody having sex except for a husband and a wife.
And this gift that was made exclusively FOR marriage is celebrated everywhere except IN marriage.
The world sinfully worships sex, and the church can barely bring itself to say the word “sex.”
We’re embarrassed because the coffee maker in the fellowship hall says “Bunn” on it.
Meanwhile, the world is working hard to make their robot sex-dolls more lifelike.
This has got to stop.
Sex is not a four-letter word, and we need teaching in the Body of Christ that goes much further than: “Don’t do it until you’re married!!”
We, Christians, need to reclaim God’s good gift of sex.
We need to start with our own marriage.
Then we need to appropriately teach our own children about God’s good design.
Once we’ve transformed our own households and thoroughly smashed satan’s lies about sex, we must seek to help other believers.
They are everywhere.
I talk to them daily.
They are ashamed.
They are confused.
They are lonely.
It should not be this way.
I HATE seeing God’s saints suffer.
I’m mad about it.
Sex was God’s idea.
Sex belongs to Him.
Sex belongs to the Church.
Sex belongs to married couples.
And Christians should have the best sex.
Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
#MakeMarriageSexyAgain #TheFamilyCaptain
Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.
Proverbs 5:18,19
***Here’s a video that John made on this topic: CLICK HERE
24 thoughts on “The Devil Hates Your Marriage”
Appreciate it. Thanks for your wise words, that’s exactly my point of view as well.
When and how should I talk to my kids about sex? I told them that I want and expect them to save themselves for marriage. To not do anything beyond kissing, or put themselves in situations that me be too tempting to sin. Like being home alone with a boyfriend or girlfriend.
I also want to address porn with them, but I haven’t had the guts to. I heard (although this isn’t always the case) of porn websites uploading actual rape, pedophilia, raping of a minor, revenge porn, and some of the people in the videos were forced or coerced into it via sex trafficking. I don’t want to support or help fund sexual abusers at all. How should I talk to them? I don’t even know what to say.
Also, what are some good tips when it comes to saving yourself for marriage and staying away from porn? To my regret, I didn’t save myself for marriage. So I don’t know how to help them in that area.
Part of me really wants to be snarky and point out all of my bad experiences with my wife, and tell you you are crazy to think a wife will submit herself to her husband and not withhold sex when she doesn’t feel like it.
Instead, I will Implore the few women who read this: PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD keep him sexually satisfied. We are all pretty simple, if you truly respect us, don’t argue with us, and provide wild sex we won’t go ANYWHERE.
Good point. I have always wondered in this world why men and women go to meat markets called night clubs and then have sex purely because of sexual attraction but then get married and have to go to therapy because one or even both do not want to have sex with their marital partner. Its all gone backwards. Christians must be different in this world. I was recalling a sermon I heard from David Pawson a while back. How does God punish us in this world? He basically grants us what we want, people say they dont want the Lord to interfere and then very quickly things go from neutral to bad. Man lies to himself thinking we have all the answers. It has taken me many years to realise I do not know everything as I thought I did as a teenager. Gods ways are so important, save yourself for your partner. Its almost as if the human body was designed to have enough sex within marriage. Having sex before marriage is like starting a journey with only half a tank of fuel.
I think that possibly some Christians feel this is a very sacred special subject…too sacred and special to talk about. Whether this is all right or all wrong , I don’t know, but I do feel that if parents are too embarrassed to discuss these things with their children then we might be in trouble…..
Debi Pearl wrote 2 “Yell and Tell” books. One for boys about Samuel. One for the girls about Sarah Sue, I think. Perhaps you don’t feel gifted with speech but you appear to be gifted in writing so perhaps you could write a letter to your children about the things you listed here in this comment.?
You are right, Sister. And you will find NO Bible studies or small groups about it.
“The devil wants everybody having sex except for a husband and a wife.”
So true. These are very wise words. A very exceptional article.
First of all, Lori, thank you for a wonderful site, even at my church in England some find my views “out of step” with modern “Christian” trends and, such is the way of the world, others agree but dare not speak up! Needless to say, I agree with most of your posts. You will know from my long letter that when I first married, I had numerous problems with my young wife, Charlotte – not all of her making – I probably expected too much, too soon. But she knew the power of sex and she withheld it – that was until she started to understand The Scriptures and that her role was one of submission to me in all things and through me, submission to Our Lord.
Now God has created a truly wonderful marriage in all areas. When we go out, my wife will look so beautiful and feminine and I will have sex with her on our return. We will pray in her dressing room (a bedroom I had converted) and then she will ready herself for bed in the full knowledge that she will give herself to me. At other times, after a nightly pray, she will prepare herself for bed in our en-suite bathroom and when she comes back into the bedroom, I will read or have sex. She never refuses. She can’t. God has ordained that she must submit. She understands this clearly now. Obviously, I have due regard for her health – if she is feeling unwell – or when she was on her menstrual cycle – but I will decide. You cover this off extremely well in your excellent book, The Power of The Transformed Wife. My wife says she prefers it this way as knows by giving herself to me she is also submitting to God and obeying HIS WORD and that is one less thing for her to worry about!
I’ve done a lot of work with hand and power tools. I have a pretty good selection of scars on my left hand, including missing parts of two fingers.
I told my kids, you can either look at my scars and pay attention to my experience, or you can go out and get your own set of scars.
Same thing with sex before marriage. Listen to me and avoid getting scarred, or ignore me and screw up like I did and acquire a set of scars on your own.
There is a material realm, and a spiritual realm.
For whatever reason the spiritual nature of, and spiritual effects of sex are not addressed at any length or in any specificity in any commentaries with which I am familiar.
However, I think it’s safe to conclude that just as there are terrific negative consequences to non-marital and extra-marital sex in the material realm, there are terrific negative spiritual realm consequences as well.
As is always the case obedience to God’s word in the matter of sex is the only path that leads to good results.
Jennifer,
Sincere question: What normally happens when you and your husband kiss in a drawn out, romantic way? It may not at the exact moment due to child constraints, but you keep throwing that gas on the fire, and you’ll eventually get a fireball. I think you know where I’m going.
Next question: You want your teenagers, with far less self control, far less wisdom, and far more hormones, doing this with people they aren’t married to?
Recommendation: Rather than point out all the things unmarried people should not be doing, make sure to constantly point out what the goal actually is. The goal -is- to fall in love. The goal -is- to get married. The goal -is- to have sex and make babies and produce Godly offspring.
However, we choose who we fall in love with and we’re only wasting those precious moments with our future spouse when we trample on them beforehand.
To your daughters, make their character draw in her husband. Boys notice girls that dress differently. She’ll lure exactly the kind of person her character impresses.
To your sons, if they’re old enough that love has awakened, get them hard at work for the foundation of providing for their wife and family. Without my wife and children, I’d hardly be worth anything. They are a huge impetus in my life to get moving. Put that motivation of a wife your sons have toward working to get one. Get them producing money (they’re going to need it), learning a craft, buying a house. Once they’re close to being able, tell them to go on the hunt! Find her, draw her, marry her!
Hello,
It works both ways. “Wild sex” is just an act of service that your wife may get tired of “performing” for you. Perhaps the church should be educating young men that sex is an act you do TOGETHER where EACH person’s goal is to pleasure the other person. Too many young wives went into their marriage feeling “frisky” and attracted to their husband only to realize sex was for them to serve and never to receive. It gets tiring after a while to “fake it” and even discouraging to know your husband doesn’t care about your own needs. Sex is meant for bonding, procreation, and PLEASURE! Why does everyone assume it’s only men’s pleasure and that their wife should “give” them sex? Do sex TOGETHER! Focus on each other’s pleasure! Sheesh! Biologically, men are going to have a pleasurable experience 99% of the time without any extra help, while the wife is going to need some more exploration and knowledge from her husband. Don’t be the husband who assumes his wife is satisfied. My husband and I do sex TOGETHER and I have never turned him down, even if I was tired or not interested, because I knew something wonderful awaited me 😉 of course I love my husband and submit to him, but it’s so EASY since sex is so wonderful!
Yes, a wife should submit to her husband even if he doesn’t care at all about her body and views sex as something he gives her and her body as simply an object for him to use. But as Lori said, sex is meant to be a wonderful gift in marriage and Christians should be having the best sex! Why would you want it to be one-sided??
Amen Kate! You don’t turn down your husband but also realize sex is a mutual act and in a godly marriage both spouses benefit from it and enjoy.
Amen Kate!!!
Total submission and obedience to my husband means I never say no to intimacy when he wants it. I don’t even think about it, it’s not an option for me, nor do I want it to be. But you are exactly right, if it is something you do TOGETHER it doesn’t fell like a “duty” you have to perform. Sex with my husband is wonderful, exciting, pleasurable and fun! We have been married 24 years and sex is still great. BUT, it takes work. First and foremost you must learn how to please your husband and what he likes and doesn’t. In turn he will do the same for you, together. I am my husband’s – whenever, whatever, wherever. It is a tremendous feeling of freedom that I anticipate constantly. He chose when he wanted me pregnant and I never questioned him and was always overjoyed! Sex is still a daily and vital part of our marriage, and I absolutely LOVE my husband so much for it! I’m sure several don’t share my opinion, but these are just thoughts from the corner of my little housewife world!!
For whatever reason the spiritual nature of, and spiritual effects of sex are not addressed at any length or in any specificity in any commentaries with which I am familiar.
Nor is it ever addressed in any depth or sense of urgency from the pulpit, in small groups, or even in “pre-marital counseling” (to the extent that this even takes place in a majority of Protestant churches anymore). (Just pre-emptively, PLEASE do not reply to this with “well, MY church does that!” Maybe, but you know that your church is very much in the minority in this respect).
It’s very revealing, but really not at all surprising, that this glaring omission persists. It’s all part and parcel of modern churchianity: eagerly attack the easy targets and adopt whatever tenets of the Christian faith please the world, but avoid taking up actual crosses or facing unpleasant threats that call upon us to fully embrace Jesus and His message, something the carnal World will hate and persecute us for.
Sex daily still after 24yrs? Wow congrats seems like you guys have a strong godly marriage!
Thank you. You’re advice is very helpful, and insightful.
Thank you! That’s a good idea!
That’s true. I like that.
My husband won’t have sex with me. He has little desire for me but takes care of himself if you know what I mean. Is this a biblical reason for divorce? I am so hurt by his rejection. It has been like this for 3 years, married for 4.5 years. He refuses therapy and will not pray with me other than blessings over meals, and occasional prayers over finances.
Oh wow have you spoken to him to see what the issue is? This is so bizarre to completely stop having sex.