“The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober (most of the time), to love their husbands (if they make them happy), to love their children (which includes leaving their children all day so they can have a career), to be discreet (this doesn’t mean they can’t do what they want to do), chaste (but living with their boyfriend before marriage is okay), keepers at home (but they still can have careers), obedient to their own husbands (only if their husbands love them as Christ loves the Church), that the word of God be not blasphemed.” (Titus 2:3-5)
This is how feminist-minded women want me to teach biblical womanhood. I often hear, “Why do you only tell what a woman’s role is? What about husbands loving their wives as Christ loved the Church?” and “You’re a woman hater!”
According to God, women are to be sober at all times. They are to love their husbands even if their husbands don’t make them “happy.” (As believers, happiness is not what we strive after but walking in the Spirit and obeying God are our goals in life.) Women are to love their children enough to sacrifice whatever it takes in order to be the ones home raising them, if at all possible, and we know with the Lord that all things are possible. They are to be feminine and discreet in everything including breastfeeding. They are to be keepers at home and this is where their work is to be done. All of these are God’s commands not mine.
Wives are commanded to be “obedient to their own husbands.” Period. There are no qualifications or exceptions given in this verse so I teach young women to be obedient to their husbands since they need to focus upon this more than what submission doesn’t mean. (Of course, we must take the Bible as a whole and know that God’s will overrides a husband’s will.) I will never teach them that their husbands should love them like Christ loves the church since wives have no control over their husband’s behavior.
What benefit is there for women teaching this any ways? If a wife will only obey her husband if he loves her as Christ loved the Church, she then becomes the judge and jury towards her husband. “Is he loving me as Christ loved the Church? Of course not, therefore, I refuse to obey him.” No husband is perfect and having expectations about how a husband is to treat her makes for bad marriages. She needs to focus upon herself and make sure that she is obeying the Lord with a meek and quiet spirit while the Holy Spirit works mightily within her.
The way God worded the verses above, He made it clear that wives are to focus upon their own behavior and not try to convict or change their husband’s. It’s not their job. It’s their job to work on loving and obeying their husband, loving their children, becoming discreet, chaste, sober, good, and keepers at home.
But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.