The High Cost of Feminism

The High Cost of Feminism

Written By Michael Foster on Twitter

In 1963 Betty Friedan wrote the The Feminine Mystique. It described a widespread discontent among women. She concludes her first chapter with: “We can no longer ignore that voice within women that says: ‘I want something more than my husband and my children and my home.’”

What was the “something more?” Friedan claimed it was a career. “The problem that has no name” stemmed for a woman’s single path of fulfillment namely being a wife, mother, and a keeper of the home. This, argued Friedan, didn’t allow women to grown full humanity.

For a woman to become, she must liberate herself from the “conventional picture of femininity.” Only then will she “finally [begin] to enjoy being a woman.” They must pursue the “creativity” that allows them to find their potential or they’ll remain “less than fully human.”

This was a lie. Friedan wasn’t your average housewife. She was leftist radical involved in union activities in 40s-50s. Even during her marriage, she had a part-time career as a traveling freelance journalist. She wasn’t some chained-down housemother. That was a marketing ploy.

Also, this “widespread discontent” could be better be described as the discontent present among some college-educated, white, middle-to-upper class who found conventional femininity boring. Friedan was trying to mainstream her discontent. Misery loves company.

Much of Friedan’s argument relies on other discredited intellectuals of her time. For example, she pulls much from Margaret Mead’s “Coming of Age in Samoa” to argue for a nascent version of sexual fluidity (aka sex is nurture, not nature). But, much like Friedan, Mead lied.

Friedan’s vision has largely come to past. All career paths are open to women. Work force integration is a reality. It isn’t the “career woman” that is looked down upon. It’s the “poor” housewife and mother. All that discontent should be declining, right?

It shouldn’t surprise us that alcohol abuse, drug abuse, and mental illness are exploding disproportionately among women.

Women are unhappy. The easy way to manage this unhappiness is to medicate and deny.

Reality is “hurtful.”
The pain is too much.

Friedan lied. Feminism lied. Feminism failed. It didn’t lead to freedom but a prison. Anyone seeking to wake women up and help them to face the reality of their situation will be resisted and demonized.

God’s design is the surest path to happiness. Marriage and motherhood are good. Men aren’t the competition. The sexes exist as a complement to each other. Don’t kick the can down the road. Embrace the goodness of femininity now. You can miss out and you don’t want that.

Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
1 Timothy 2:15

***”Women have been brainwashed to believe that the absence of a titled, payroll occupation condemns a woman to failure, boredom, and even imprisonment within the confines of the home. Although feminism speaks of liberation, self-fulfillment, personal rights, and breaking down barriers, in reality, these phrases inevitably have produced the opposite. In fact, a salaried job and title position can inhibit a woman’s natural nesting instinct and maternity by inverting her priorities so that she almost inevitably experiences failures in her life in the arena that should be most important, that is, in the fashioning of an earthy shelter for those whom she loves most and in the rearing of her own children.” (The Christian Homemaker’s Handbook)

37 thoughts on “The High Cost of Feminism

  1. A common thread I have heard throughout my stay-at-home mom years, particularly with the younger/newer mothers is that they feel like they aren’t contributing to society. I remember feeling this way myself. I think there is a little bit of a culture shock a woman goes through when she turns her life inward to her home, particularly when most of us grew up spending so much time out in the world and AWAY from our homes as children, teens, and young adults. Being encouraged through that time as women are so suddenly thrown into to such a change is something more seasoned women can keep in mind when hearing the struggles of younger women. Their workload and responsibilities significantly increase, while time for themselves decreases, and it takes several years to start to see the fruit for this labor. Their bodies are also being heavily taxed. That is a key time for the devil to work and discourage and we do well to encouraged women to stay the course in caring for their young families, as well teaching them how to maintain their own health.

    I do think isolation in our culture is a huge problem that contributes toward the discontent women feel. We are meant to be in community with one another, and that community is so often cut off from us as stay at home moms. As human beings we are part of the larger world and it is not healthy for any person to be so completely cut off from it. Women need time with other women, how else would older women ever be able to effectively teach them? The careerbis merely the connection to the wider community st large. Women don’t need a career to have thrust, but in my opinion that connection and contribution (even if just to lift up a friend or assist another in need) is something women still need in their lives.

  2. Nice Write-up. If only a lot of men weren’t already decieved by feminism and wanted working wives.

  3. Wife’s time

    wife does everything for boss
    spends more time per week with guys at work than husband
    bad weather, you go to work
    sick, you go to work
    pregnant, you go to work
    child sick, you go to work – force sick child go to school
    husband sick, you go to work
    bad period with cramps, you go to work
    boss tells you what to do and you do it, he’s such a manly man taking charge – husband tells you what to do and he is a bully, tyrant and sexist – threaten lawyer – money is more important to you than husband?

    168 hrs in week
    56 hrs of sleep
    40-48 hrs of work
    10-12 hrs commute
    2 hrs daily for after school activities – longer on Sat

    lets 37 hrs to spend with husband and children basically 20% of your available time
    80% of your time devoted to pleasing and taking care of other men

    you go gurl………..

    if you try just a little harder, I’m sure you can get your time with husband and children down to 10 hrs or less a week.

  4. Dear Lori and Friends, in Friedan had stated in her book where – as an experiment (to bash housewives, i guess) a single guy had taken on three whole days as a home-maker; and he did splendidly – even made a homemade cake.

    Thing is, three days is one thing. In three days, i guess, none of the kids broke a leg while sledding, and the washing-machine mustn’t have died during the wash cycle, nor did little Tami climb up on the counter and knock over a container of confectioner’s sugar – that stuff is nasty to clean up (talk to my mom).

  5. Truth be told, a lot of men these days want a woman who will work because they’d rather have the cash than a good home.

  6. Margaret Meade was married and divorced three times and had multiple lesbian lovers. What a wonderful role model for women!

  7. The thing is, these contributions to the community they’re talking about don’t matter, if all women left the workforce tomorrow after a short adjustment period there would be no negative consequences whatsoever. Quite the opposite in fact, they simply aren’t needed outside of the tiny niche of medical care. Now if all women abandoned wife hood and motherhood? Well, now we have armageddon, which we are experiencing more every day. A womans main and highest contribution to society is, always has been and will always be at home. This is where she belongs, this is what she was created to do and to be. Everything else is noise and lies.

  8. Jews, communists, lesbians, adulterers, these are who our society celebrates as heroes.

  9. There are still many good men who would love to be the provider for a home where Mom is the what keeps family happy and whole. But you are right that the pool of these good men is dwindling and too many get miss matched with feminists who end up divorcing them. There is discontentment and confusion when someone is trying to play two roles at once, sometimes three, if she is trying to rule her own home and marriage too.

  10. We miss the point if we think that men cannot be homemakers. I do a pretty good job when Mom is sick to fill in, but it is not what I was made for, and I don’t have what Mom has been given to get the job done well. The best equipped is by God’s design physically and emotionally. It’s too bad our social scientists are not spending more time identifying why Mom’s are the better care givers, instead of being afraid to speak out in this nasty cancel culture times.

  11. They don’t even know what a good home is because their moms all worked full time too.

  12. I guess the main point I was making is that there is no reason to confuse “contributing to society” with “a career”. Human beings, including women, contribute to the building up of society in many ways that do not include paid employment. Volunteer work such as helping out in your local church or at your child’s school comes to mind. These are valuable contributions that bring community and connection that enrich both the giver and the receiver(s). That’s not to say that a woman must do this. Some seasons of marriage and child rearing simply don’t allow for much of anything else. There needs to be a distinction in Christian discussions between sinful discontent and the genuine human need to be connected to others.

  13. Confusion about roles and expectations and discontent are two sides of the same coin of bitterness and sin.

  14. Women and children are the biggest victims of a scam that is supposed to be helping women and children.

  15. What does being Jewish have to do with any of the other groups? When you make ignorant blanket statements like that you lose credibility.

  16. It seems to me that the isolation stay-at-home women experience is due to all the women working outside their homes. I have read a lot of history and historical fiction, and a common thread among nations whose women stayed at home was how they had the freedom to gather and help each other out or just visit. From working outdoors together like the native Americans did to the white settlers’ quilting and canning bees in later times, women who stayed at home were much better equipped to be hospitable than women who went to work at a job outside the home. The community being cut off from women who stay at home is a result of other women simply not being around to visit with in the first place. If all women stayed at home, there would be plenty of community as those whose chores were done could go and visit with each other and help those who need it.

  17. I have been a homemaker both during my 17 year long marriage, and since God called my husband home as well. I wouldn’t give it up to be the president of the US, even if I could. It is a high and glorious calling! The entire concept that we are somehow “stuck” in the house while our gifting goes to waste is silly at best. This is the end of a letter to the editor I wrote about ten years ago. The editor actually appreciated my letter so much he called me personally, lol. For context, it was a response to a woman who was railing against submission.

    I am a homemaker. Allow me to share a few of the many jobs I have accomplished for my boss over the last 16 years: I have been a bookkeeper, shortorder cook to gourmet chef, interior decorator, artist, roofer, school teacher. I’ve finished drywall and laid hardwood floors.

    One friend and fellow homemaker has laid ceramic tile, done mechanical work on her car, helped build an awesome tree fort, is a trained counselor, and if you drop in on her you may be invited to have a slice of her just-baked whole wheat bread which rivals any bakery in the country.

    Another friend and fellow homemaker has electrical, plumbing, carpentry, sheetrock, nursing, teaching, and painting skills.

    I could go on, but space is limited. All of these things from measuring a cup of flour to snapping a chalk line on a roof have been easier and our skills more fine-tuned, because we have been educated. These skills are typical of the average homemaker.

    As you can see, our career doesn’t entail sitting around the house eating coconut bon bons while watching soap operas. We actually are industrious, creative, intelligent, and talented.

    Why are we considered successful if we use our skills to serve a man or woman who hands us a paycheck; but if we work for the one we call lover, best friend, and husband we are considered oppressed?

    Yes, our husbands must care for us as their own bodies. They can’t (contrary to modern feminists’ nofault divorce), fire us on a whim. They must love us and lay down their lives for us.

    As our authority, if they don’t do so, they are answerable to God – the ultimate Authority.

  18. You are so correct! When my husband and I were dating and got serious I brought up whether he wanted me to work (I had presumed up to that point that he didn’t, but something he said made me wonder.). He didn’t, but was okay if I wanted to. That wasn’t good enough for me but I didn’t want a canned answer either. So I asked him to think it through over the weekend. I wept that weekend thinking our relationship was over. I knew I couldn’t marry a man who would allow me to work outside the home because it times got tough he may “need” me to. The next time we got together he told me if we married he would not allow me to work outside the home. His mother had worked and so he had never thought it through, but when he got thinking about it he realized how much it had destroyed their family, and he didn’t want that!

    He was tested in that a few years later when we had four children and we went through a period when we lost our savings, he couldn’t’t find a job that paid more than minimum wage, and I could have used my skills and made more. He wasn’t even saved at the time. Years later when he was saved I asked him why he didn’t send me into the work force during that time. He looked at me kind of baffled and said ,”Because it was my responsibility.”

  19. A good church will provide the community a SAHM needs. It is hard to find for some of us.

  20. I completely recognise the importance of that question and how you felt about the answer. But it is a brave man in these times who has the courage to say that he will “not allow” his wife to work outside the home. However right that is.

    I often have fun baiting feminists by telling them that my husband would never allow me to work outside the home – which is true !

  21. Depression, anxiety and cancer also very high in men nowadays, especially in very stressful and disorganized (and in many cases unnecessary) professions such those part of the IT industry. We need to nurture our men and help them leave the corporate workforce as well, not just us! Nobody likes to be locked in an office and stare in a screen all day and have endless web conferences, filled with leftist propaganda and social theories, while desperately trying to get some meaningful real work done in-between.

  22. Same here Susanne! There are a couple of wives whose husband’s work for my husband and they also have jobs. I get the “what do you do all day” and “aren’t you bored since your kids are grown” questions and I tell them I’ve never had a job because my husband has never allowed me to work. Once their squished up faces settle down I tell them “that’s ok ,I’ve never had any desire to work anyway!”

  23. Oh, Sara, I know what you mean. I’m a wife of an IT husband. When we first met he loved everything about being in IT. So much has changed over the years, and as he’s grown in the Lord. Now he feels much different about it. I’m so glad to see the relief on my husband’s face when he comes home because he can relax and leave work behind for a bit. People at work often ask why he’s always in a hurry to get back home instead of things like hanging out with them after work. He says because I miss my wife and I need to get back to where there’s sanity. They get a look of confusion on their faces 🙂

  24. It is a shame Freidan’s husband was unable to keep her in line. His inability to control his wife poisoned the entire world.

  25. You paint these women as unhappy, I have never been so happy! Everyday I wake up with an even greater love for life, I am passionate for learning and experience.
    I do not drink or do drugs, to deal with pain as you suggest, no children, no cats.
    Is it so wrong for a woman to be this way? Imagine women doing what truly brings them joy and having this positive energy to light up the lives of those around them.
    When a woman is happy, the man benefits and vice versa. If I can help ease the stress and burden put on my husband by working outside the home then I’ll do it with passion.

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