The True Cost of Women Leaving the Workforce
What would happen if many mothers decided that they wanted to go home and be the ones raising their own children? An anonymous man wrote a good comment on my post called Going Against the Titus Two Mandate on why some women don’t want to go home full time and what would happen if many of them did decide to go home full time. (Yes, I understand that some mothers have no choice but to work outside of the home and others have husbands who want them to do this but these exceptions still don’t negate God’s perfect will for young women.)
“Some women don’t want to give up their SUV and their control. Others don’t want to give up their seeming significance and relative stardom. That is what we seem to talk about most of the time here, and rightfully so.
“But some women have a ‘legitimate’ fear [I use that word very loosely] in wondering how it can all be unraveled: getting rid of a too large house payment and two car payments … and then adjusting to much less disposable income.
“Living out Scripture forces people to take a totally different perspective on all of life. Welcome to ‘be ye separate’ …welcome to ‘Be holy for I am holy.’ But this does transcend one from the carnal to the spiritual.
“And on the macro scale, imagine if just 10 percent of the women in this country left the workforce …the big sucking sound, the implosion economically: houses being sold off, extra cars on the market, sales of new units going unsold, government income / sales taxes down, college enrollment off …and on and on. That is scary to think about; for we have built a false world and His people have bought into it [and I am guilty].
“But there is a positive side: less traffic, less greenhouse gasses [if that is real], mothers actually at home for the kids, and wives at home for their husbands. More of His people will be pleasing Him. And, they have then gained their soul and lost the world …all beautiful in the sight of the Lord. That is peace on earth, good will toward men.”
For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?
Matthew 16:26
13 thoughts on “The True Cost of Women Leaving the Workforce”
The true cost is that a generation of children will once again have a stable home and a loving parent to care for them and not become neglected latch key kids, or shoved in daycare all day vulnerable to abuse by strangers! Also not taught that they’re an inconvenience, but mommy’s #1 priority! Sad many women unfortunately have to work though, because society taught men not to provide for women, but to view them as leeches if they choose home and family over taking his job too! Hard to find a man who can provide on 1 salary, and WANTS to… Thus, the generation of unmet needs goes on… And girls taught they can only find worth in being like men…
As someone who studied Criminology in college, my immediate thought was that the crime level would go down nearly instantly. And long term, it would continue. I worked juvenile probation and sometimes it was hard to locate a parent. Many times, the kids cut school and were at home in an empty house with other truants. Not only were they cutting school, but the house also reeked of pot, I’m sure there was sex, etc. If a parent was home, much of that would stop. It wasn’t just poor families or single moms. I felt much more sympathy for them. Most often, it was upper middle class kids in the suburbs living in 3000 sf homes. Even at 22, I knew that both parents didn’t *need* to work, despite their excuses. No, that BMW was the reason, as was the big house, the gardener, the housekeeper, etc. I don’t even know where the children landed in that list of priorities. Based on what I saw, nowhere. As much as I would’ve liked to tell them the truth, it wouldn’t have mattered. No way they were going to give up that country club membership and facials with Louis.
We did get kids that got into trouble despite a home parent….occasionally. But, there was a big difference. They were usually doing well in school & a parent to get them back on track very quickly. We rarely saw them a second time.
In my own family, the human sacrifices to the money god are over a dozen now, I believe/
One aspect that I think hasn’t been plainly considered is the enormous effort needed to sustain a system in which many women are working outside the home. Every week there’s a new article on “child-care deserts,” the urgent necessity of paid maternity leave, the need to subsidize childcare. But policies that promote women remaining in the workforce are expensive–maternity leave and subsidized childcare would add to our taxes, and hiring managers have to take into account just how expensive a potential mother can be. After the kid is born, the mom must take time off to get the kid home, take sick days for the kid, and otherwise decrease her working productivity. (The dad could do this, but the reality is that he’s got better earning potential most of the time.)
What you have, then, is underpaid childminders, inflation from a majority dual-income (or two-household situation) setup, and a balance between getting quality childcare and affordable childcare. But if more women looked after their own house and kids, although the economy would take a hit I’m not convinced that it would be catastrophic.
Amen! it would be amazing to see!
I would love to be at home with my young son. Unfortunately my husband isn’t bringing in any money, and any light suggestions I make to have him find consistently paying work are met with anger and resentment. I now keep my mouth shut. My husband is raising our son full-time and the house is always a mess, my son only eats fast food, he lashes out at me when I’m home and doesn’t want me around, he’s got behavior issues and anger issues. I think these are all because I’m not home, however my husband says I need to keep working to keep our family afloat – even though he spends more than I make, on fast food and video games. But any protests I make are immediately shut down as me being ignorant, so I now stay quiet. What can I say to him to convince him that our son needs me at home?
My husband is trying to start his own construction business, but he is relying on his father to provide all the investments and supply the cash. His mother wants me at work because then my husband will drop our son off at her house so he can “work on the business” but then I come home from work and he’s on his phone playing Fortnite and nothing has been done around the house or on the business, so I still have to cook dinner and clean up after I’ve been working all day. On days my son is with my mother-in-law, after I pick him up to take him home, he’s extra violent towards me and bites and hits me. I feel like I’m the only disciplinarian because I want my child to be well behaved, listen to elders, and not eat junk food – and that makes me the bad guy in his eyes because I don’t let him get away with the things his dad and grandma do.
My family lives out-of-state so the only support I have is my husbands’s family and friends. They all support him and I’m the odd man out. My mother-in-law is the secretary at our church and is well-known and trusted by everyone so again, I can’t and won’t say anything or else I’ll be ostracized.
I just want to be with my son and not miss out on being his mother, but no one supports that.
i LOVE making your salad recipe and dressing. it has helped me tremendously and I’ve been eating salads every day while pregnant. lately I’ve been putting a big heap of it on top of a baked & peeled sweet potato (I season and add chili paste to the potato, this baby loves spice lol) anyway thank you for your good influence in my life all these years and I would love any more recipe tips you have to share!!
PS I also love using your recipe for cleaning spray 🙂 🙂
I agree. I’m afraid of how to unravel the choices I’ve made and tge consequences of those choices (e.g., student loan debt). What happens if I don’t work and leave my husband with 6 figure student loan debt? What if I discontinue birth control and have kids with all this debt to pay off? What I follow my instinct and stop birth control and actually get pregnant? Will I work, will I pay someone to take care of them? Will that damage them? What if I stay home? Will it damage our ability to get a home with all my debt? If I give up my rusty old car and we go down to one, how will I get around to do household shopping and take my kids to doctors….
The what if’s are spiraling. The faith, even as small as a mustard seed, to step off that cliff is scary. We have decided to step off that cliff and stop birth control and I trust God has a plan. Yet, I’m afraid my earlier choices have ruined my family’s future and I will face those consequences sooner than I would if I changed nothing. When all is said and done, sometimes it’s easier to feel like I can control when I face the burden of my decisions.
Even when mums stay at home, there are many jobs they still do. For example, sports, shopping, appointments, visiting other stay at home mums, doing church work. And for us, many medical and therapy appointments. It’s a very busy life!
Thanks for the article Lori! Your writing is an inspiration to my young wife. The economic argument is BS. When women entered the work force wages went down as women began competing against men for the same jobs. If women follow biblical instruction and leave the workforce, supply would decrease while demand would remain the same, resulting in an increase in wages for male workers. If women got Mrs. Degrees instead of a million dollars of debt from colleges we would starve a bloated and evil higher education system that conspires to rebel against God and destroy the family. My wife left her job when we got married and the benefits of her being a stay at home wife/mother far outweigh the meager economic benefits. Not only to us, but to our community as well. “A house divided cannot stand,” and many “Christians” have bought into the lie that you can serve two masters.
Dear Mom, I hear you. I have been there. Your son may have attachment issues. Its not your fault. You did not know and you did not really have a choice. But you say something very wise- what happens when a husband is not a provider, when he does not want to work, when all is on our shoulders? I can only imagine now how hard it is. Our story is that my husband realised that our sons character and wellbeing was at stake. So I am at home now. I hope you can do the same. Try finding some help for your son asap. He might have an attachment disorder.
Great points, Heidi!
OMG…your story! Wow. Pleeeeeaaaassssseee trust GOD, my dear! God will grace you and hubby to attack that 6-figure debt, and raise all the rest of the babies you have! YES! Stop that birth control! Let go of YOUR desires and CLING to God’s desires! What is too hard for GOD? NOTHING! (Jeremiah 32:27). Fear is real, but we have the power to tell that fear to GO in Jesus’ name! It will control you IF you let it. God wants to show Himself mighty and strong and help you overcome those fears IF you trust in HIM! (IF ONLY I had your problems, girlie! :-)) I know your problems are huge mountains that seem impassable, but get in the WORD! Meditate on it day and night (Joshua 1:8 and Psalm 1:2) and pour out your <3 to HIM about your fears! I am rooting for you! Excited to hear your testimony about how God comes through as you and hubby trust in the LORD! I'm not a mom/wife YET, but I believe God will bless me to be such in the future.
Amazing post! I’m a mother of 2 and have been guilty of all of that’s said here, primarily because there was tremendous pressure on me to work, both from my in-laws and my parents…I used to beg them to let me stay at home with my kids but they wanted the status, double income, big house, 3 cars and what not…i wanted my kids, but they made me feel I was mad for thinking so as I am extremely gifted and talented and was climbing the corporate ladder at an amazing pace..but when my mom (also a career woman) passed , I saw with my eyes , her career , status, money nothing helped…I never knew my mom coz she was never there but those 21 days in hospital I saw the real her…and I didn’t want to do it to my kids..so I quit…but to this day, everyday I am reminded by relatives of how much more ‘income’ could have been generated if I wasn’t ‘stubborn’ ! I just don’t get it! why can’t people just understand that kids need mom’s and mom’s need kids around them…we r women created to be women not men, never can and never should be.