My Flow Chart Went Viral

My Flow Chart Went Viral

Several years ago, I wrote up a flow chart asking if mothers should have careers? I decided to repost it on December fourth. I have been asked for a statement about this post from numerous “news” outlets, magazines, and sites. My statement has been something like this: “I am an older woman teaching Christian women biblical womanhood as according to Titus 2:3-5 in the Bible. One of the things God commands older women to teach young women is to be ‘keepers at home’ so this is what I do. No one can replace a mother in a child’s life. Children need and want their mothers home full time.”

Most of the articles written about this post have titles about me shaming working mothers. Is it my purpose to shame working mothers? NO! My purpose is to teach young women what God has commanded I teach them. The majority of women can’t do it all – working full time and investing enough time into their children’s and husband’s lives. I sure couldn’t. I was a career woman for the first two years of my first daughter’s life and all those things stated on the left side of this flow chart were true for me. I would come home each day and collapse on the couch from exhaustion. I had little to no energy to give to my daughter nor my husband.

No, life as a full-time mother isn’t perfect either but for a godly woman who is growing in the wisdom and the knowledge of the Lord, the right side is a good standard for her to shoot for. For one thing, it is true that she is home all day IF she isn’t involved with a lot of things outside of her home. Secondly, she hopefully is with her children all day since this is God’s ideal for raising children. This is why He wants believers in Him to be keepers at home. It takes time, energy, and effort to raise godly offspring!

Almost every day, my children were in their beds or bedrooms between 1:00 – 3:00 p.m. I trained them to do this and it was great! If they were older, they would spend this time reading. If I was pregnant or nursing, I would use this time to take a nap but almost always, I would use it to rest and have some quiet time of my own.

Since I am a “health nut,” I made sure to make most of my food from scratch. Was I perfect in this area? No, but it sure was a lot easier when I was home full time rather than working full time and having to come home and make meals for my family. Eating healthy has always been important to me. I tried to give my family the best food that I could.

While being home all day, I would spend a lot of the time teaching and training my children. I wanted them to know right from wrong. It was most important to me that they knew the Word of God and what He has to say about everything especially about who they are in Christ. It’s a full-time job! I would read to them but I didn’t play a lot of games with them since I was so sick most of their childhood, unfortunately. I would sit outside in front and watch them play often. They loved this!

I didn’t have to spend the weekends cleaning the house and shopping since I could do this throughout the week and any time I wanted to do it. As your children get older, train them to help with the housework and cleaning up after themselves. Mothers are the only ones who will most likely train their children to do this. There’s so much time and energy needed in raising an eternal soul to not only know right from wrong and have self-control, but all the wonderful ways of the Lord.

I wasn’t nearly as exhausted when I was home full time since I could rest several hours during the day, therefore, I could enjoy intimacy with my husband more often. Working full time was such a drain on me. I know that some of you have no choice and some have husbands who want you to work but to these mothers, I encourage you to continue seeking the Lord in prayer, give Him all of your concerns, lay them at His feet, and know that NOTHING is impossible with Him.

Finally, I know many working mothers personally and I love them. I do feel badly for their children and would love for them to be home full time with their children but I don’t ever lecture them about it. If they ask, I will share my opinions on the subject (but most of them know because of this blog). Each woman and each couple needs to decide how to live their lives. I just want Christian women to ponder their path. Most have never been taught to be home full time with their children. It is frowned upon in today’s culture and “boring” to many.

“What do you do?” Most homemakers are embarrassed when asked this question. “Oh, I am just a homemaker.” Making money is not the be all and end all in life. Besides, if most mothers would sit down and figure how much they actually bring home each month, they may find out that it is not that much and it would be better to live more frugally within their husband’s income.

No, my purpose is never to shame women. My purpose is to try and convict and challenge those who say they are Christians to measure their lives by the Word of God since we know that His ways are good, and acceptable, and perfect! He’s our Creator. Of course, they would be!

My goal in starting this blog wasn’t to be popular and infamous. My husband told me my goal should be to get 100 likes on Facebook when I began and I thought this would be an impossible feat. I wasn’t a good writer but I was passionate about biblical womanhood and I loved to teach. No, I don’t boost my posts to get more traffic and I make no money from blogging. The only way something goes viral (that I have found) is if it hits a nerve and three of my posts have done this. It was never my intention to go viral and be infamous. I have simply been doing what God asks of “aged women” like me.

My only goal in writing for this blog is to teach Christian women biblical womanhood and that’s it. I do my best and leave the results in the Lord’s hands whether I have 10 people who read what I write or many thousands. I want Christian women to know that they don’t have to go along with the flow of culture. “To be a Christian is to stand upon convictions that transcend fans, fame, and followers. Being a Christian is about allegiance to Jesus Christ and His unchanging Word (Hebrews 13:8).” (Costi Whinn)

I receive letters almost daily from women telling me of their regret from their college debt thus their inability to stay home with their children or how their marriages have improved since obeying God by submitting to their husband’s leadership. God’s Word never comes back void and for this, I am thankful. Thank you for all of you who send me messages that you are praying for me and your kind notes of encouragement. I do appreciate them greatly.

The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
Titus 2:3-5

I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.
1 Timothy 5:14

She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
Proverbs 31:27

He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the LORD.
Psalm 113:9

***Due to the volume of emails, private messages, and comments on my blog that I am receiving, you will have to be patient and I may not answer or publish all of them especially if I have written about the topic numerous times like the Proverbs 31 woman being a “career woman.” I am mostly ignoring comments on my Facebook at this time but I do have moderators working on it when they have time. Many comments won’t be even seen by any of us moderators because there are so many. It’s my desire that no vile or contentious comments be allowed but this isn’t always possible.

24 thoughts on “My Flow Chart Went Viral

  1. Congrats on the publicity! You earned it! The truth resonates with people, even if they’re afriad to be open about it! The lies of radical feminism may cloud women’s judgements, but their hearts and instincts know the truth that note shall not be spoken of… It takes a brave woman to spell it out like you do!

  2. Hebrews 4:12 KJV
    12) For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.

    Love and Prayers to you Sister in Christ! Keep on teaching the Younger woman. They need the TRUTH! Even some older women who feel like they have blown it can reap benefits from reading and hearing the truth! ?

  3. I saw it several times. GREAT FLOWCHART!

    Trust me, there are many young women of college age who are looking at that flowchart and thinking hard about it.

    As that other poor woman said: “nobody every told me to have kids”.

    Now you have told them. You did it without anger or aggression, in a way that the young people can consider and think about their own way. Young people today are quite savvy…the Internet and all it’s lures and traps have taught them to be wary of claims. So your approach is perfect.

    Bless you in your good work.

  4. Thank you for your post and for being steadfast in the Lord’s word. Your post are blessings to read.
    1 Peter 3:14-16.
    But and if ye suffer for righteousness’ sake, happy are ye: and be not afraid of their terror, neither be troubled.
    But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear: Having a good conscience; that, whereas they speak evil of you, as of evildoers, they may be ashamed that falsely accuse your good conversation in Christ.

  5. Great flowchart. You are amazing and your ministry is awesome – don’t let the trolls get you down. Truth hurts.

  6. I’m very grateful for all you do to encourage us. You are such a blessing to so many.
    Thank you,

  7. I can’t imagine anyone getting upset over what is clearly the truth. I didn’t even have kids and half that chart fit me perfectly when I was working full time.

  8. Your flow chart is great, but might not work for every family. Those who have disabled children would have to radically alter it, whilst still adhering to scripture.

  9. I came across your blog via a news story on yahoo about your post. I am a young mother of 4 and I wish more older women cared enough to take on this role for the younger women. Both my mother and my husband’s mother are absent from our lives and it would just be so nice if I had a godly mentor in my life.

  10. I have had periods of working outside of our home, both part-time and full-time, as my husband wanted me to bring in extra income. He is a high earning professional, but worried about saving enough for retirement. I never earned more than $8 to $20 an hour in any of my jobs as I chose to prioritize my family’s needs over becoming a professional myself. I was a low earner who was taxed at a high rate due to our combined income which meant that much of my income went to the IRS and I came home with less that $350 to $700 per month, even less because I had to pay for preschool and after school care for my children. Out of what was left, I was expected to grocery shop, buy clothing for myself and the children, and put gas in my car. When I got home, I cooked, cleaned, helped the children with their homework, after school activities, and nighttime routine. I usually fell asleep on the couch by 8:30 and woke around 11 to finally go upstairs and go to bed. By then my lonely husband was sound asleep and we had very little interaction that did not involve household management and juggling the kids schedule. I am much happier being a full-time homemaker and, surprisingly enough, we are doing better financially and emotionally now than when I was running myself ragged with my job and family. Start where you want to end up, ladies. If you want to be a homemaker and mother, make it clear from the beginning that is your goal.

  11. I am sure that we don’t always live up to the ideal but this is a wonderful concise statement of the truth and of God’s plan.

  12. What do you do when your husband leaves and you have no way to feed/care for our children without working? I’d love to be a SAHM and homeschool my kids but I’m our sole support….

  13. Don’t worry about the nay-sayers. The truth is, society should be oriented towards women staying home to care for their babies, and outside work should be a supplemental path. Not the other way around as it is now.

  14. Ask the Lord for wisdom and to make a way for you to come home, A. I know of single mothers who stay home and have found a way to do this. Some have daycares in their homes, others work from computers, etc. Your children need and want you home so pray that the Lord will make a way; for with Him nothing is impossible!

  15. Lori,

    As a single Father, of two teenaged Daughters you blog has been a blessing to me in helping me raise them.

    Their Mother left them and me to be with her sisters husband. They want nothing to do with their Mother and it can be hard to teach them about being Godly women as a man.

    Your blog helps me with that and I am greatful.

    Even here in Oz we have seen this post on the news.
    Be encouraged, that you are making a difference and are being used by God in a Big way.

  16. This was in the media in New Zealand, too!

    Here, the overwhelming feeling was agreeing with your message, but disagreeing with the “tone” of the message, if that makes sense.

    They agreed that women should ideally be, if possible, at home with the children. That was virtually unanimous, even amongst career women. Most women said they would be at home if they could, and they wished they could be. Many women said they only work part-time (school hours) so they can be at home with their children before and after school. Nearly everyone agreed it is desperately sad that staying home full-time is not an option for most women in New Zealand, as the cost of living is so high.

    My father and I were discussing this just yesterday. NZ has one of the highest rates of domestic and Dad reckons it’s partly because a man here can’t make enough money to support his family and he’s frustrated, turns to drink etc. Gets violent. Because he works all rent and can barely pay the rent.

    God’s ways truly are best. The high cost of living in this country is a tragedy for children.

  17. Way back in 1989 both my wife and I were on active duty in the Marine Corps and we had two sons. Our mornings consisted of getting up and getting ready for work, getting the boys up, dressed, fed, and in the car, running them to daycare, dropping her off at her unit, and then getting to my place of duty. Mornings were very rushed with very little time for anything but getting out the door. My wife decided not to re-enlist and separated from the Marine Corps the summer of that year.
    Within a week our boys had new personalities. Mom was there in the morning. They were no longer rushed and could play while mom got breakfast. They were more settled and happier.
    I realize this is not a scientific study but it is my experience.

  18. When my wife quit her job and stayed home to raise our 6 year old son, his life got better. It took awhile, but the improvement was astounding.

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