Why are so Many Women Divorcing Their Husbands?

Why are so Many Women Divorcing Their Husbands?

Yes, more women are divorcing their husbands today than men divorcing their wives. Statistics show that women are 70 – 80% more likely to divorce their husbands. I searched the Internet for reasons and was given many but I will focus upon one in particular called 6 Reasons Women Leave Their Marriages, According to Marriage Therapists. (When skimming through some articles written on this topic, there were numerous reasons given but this article seemed to sum them all up well. The points the article made are in bold and I give my thoughts for those who may have the same complaints about their husband.)

The wives feel taken for granted and overly responsible for the relationship. Many women come into marriages expecting their husbands to be Prince Charming to them who continues to romance them. They aren’t taught to accept their husbands just the way they are, take their eyes off of their supposed needs, learn to serve joyfully, and do whatever they can to make their marriages strong. They must remember that they are the ones who were created to be their husband’s help meets, not the other way around.

They keep having the same argument with their partner. This is an easy solution – stop arguing! The husband is the head over his wife and she is to live in submission to his leadership. The Bible compares a quarreling wife with a continual dripping, rottenness in his bones, foolish, and it’s better for a husband to live on a rooftop than with a quarreling wife. Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement (1 Peter 3:6). If we truly believe and love the Word of God, then we will treat our husbands as our “earthly lords” as God created them to be and would never dream of arguing with them!

They’re not satisfied with their sex lives. This isn’t a reason to divorce a husband! We must not look at Hollywood or Fifty Shades to measure sexual satisfaction. It’s way more important to the Lord that we please our husbands sexually, treat them with respect, and live in submission to them. When a wife is kind, loving, warm, and affectionate to her husband, most men will do anything they can to make a wife like this happy; for we are promised that we will reap what we sow. Besides, most of sexual pleasure comes from the mind and the good and loving thoughts that a woman sows in her mind towards her husband during the day, the better her sex life will most likely be.

They don’t talk and emotionally connect with their husbands like they used to. Men aren’t women. They aren’t emotionally connected as women. Most men don’t talk as much as women. If you’ve married a man, expect him to act like a man and not a woman. Besides, there’s nothing about “emotionally connecting” in the Bible that states this is a requirement for a good marriage.

They’ve outgrown their partners. What does this mean? They are better than their husbands? They know more than their husbands? This is an excuse to divorce the husband of their youth? They have fallen for the lie that there is something better “out there” wherever out there is. I can tell you from watching my parents being married for many years and Ken and me being married for almost 37 years, there’s nothing better than growing old with one man, the man of our youth.

They get to the point that divorce is the only way to put themselves first again. “Often, longstanding issues like addiction or uncontrolled anger will simply push women over the edge.”  Unfortunately, addictions and uncontrolled anger are common today in our culture and much of it is due to children not being raised and nurtured by their mothers full time and having a mother and father in the home. Many children today are coming from divorced families and divorce causes anger and emptiness in the children’s lives. Addictions are a way to escape reality and porn, drug, and alcohol addictions are rampant. Women have their addictions and anger problems, too, for all of the same reason. The answer isn’t giving the children the same broken life that the parents had. The answer is stopping the crazy cycle and remaining committed for life even during the bad times. You know, “for better or for worse.” Just because marriage gets hard doesn’t mean we are to bail out. This is pure selfishness. Women will never find happiness by putting themselves first since the greatest of all is the servant of all. The more we learn to forget about ourselves and care for others, the more fulfilled we will become. It’s the way God created us to be! (Read this if your husband is a very angry man.)

Love is a choice, women. Love isn’t a feeling or emotion. Love is a choice to be selfless, serving, forgiving, generous, sacrificing, and loving unconditionally. God commands two things from us: that we believe on the name of His Son Jesus Christ and love one another (1 John 3:23). We are commanded to love our husband and even reverence him. Our  love, submission, honor, and respect towards him will have a much better chance of changing our husband into the man that God wants him to be than anything else we can do.

What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
Mark 10:9

12 thoughts on “Why are so Many Women Divorcing Their Husbands?

  1. This is so good. Thank you, Mrs. Lori. I’m sure every woman can identify with at least one of these destructive mindsets! Sometimes we can be so blind to what we do until someone puts it into words. So thank you. May the Lord help us all to keep our marriages flourishing!

  2. Great post!
    My parents have been separated for 17 years or so, and it was an awful thing for my sister and I (and my Dad – Mum left him for another man) to go through. Dad still struggles. I have asked Mum why she left Dad, and the reasons she gave were very similar to reasons listed above. Not entirely the same, but very similar, and all selfish reasons. Materialistic reasons.

    My marriage has had its extremely difficult times too, but I’m so grateful that we both had the same end goal, and that God enabled us to get through it.

    I love nothing more than watching an elderly couple who have been together 50 years or more. The love and companionship they share is incredible. They have such a strong bond. I asked one lady what the secret was to such a marriage and her answer was simple: just keep loving him (meaning her husband).

  3. This is true Lori. I don’t know what it is about Orange County but I have known far too many ladies from there who seem to have it all, up and divorce their husbands. It’s weird. I feel like people are not able to see the big picture. Or is it just that women have become such navel-gazers that they cannot see and appreciate their husband for who he is? Or appreciate the family unit as a whole?

  4. Yes! I can attend to the fact about sex being better if you are having a better relationship with your husband, and that it’s up to you to do that. I used to hate sex and put it off as much as I could and no enjoy it when we did it. Then I realized the error of my ways and submitted to my husband in everything and stopped complaining and arguing and now I initiate too and we enjoy it more.

  5. It is interesting to read an article about divorce that doesn’t slam men. If you peruse the internet you will find it prodivorce & very anti male. Our society has replaced the man with welfare checks, alimony & child support.

    By removing the father from the childrens lives you successfully break down the family at its core. A family isn’t a solid foundation without two parents raising the children with strong biblical values.

    Thank You for a well thought out article.

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