Women Leaving Their Posts
Many women disagreed with me on my post about Popular Female Influencers Divorcing. I knew they would. It’s not popular to ever question a woman who is divorcing her husband even when she has “biblical” reasons. I had my reasons for doing so. A woman in the chat room who was a young and popular blogger shared the following. She explains my reasons perfectly.
“When women leave their posts (their calling as wife and mother) and pursue building something else outside of that calling, it will always take them away. I used to be in that blog ministry preaching to all the ladies, even as I had my own children still at home and young, thinking I needed to help others have what I found which was contentment in being a wife and mother.
“Yet, in so doing, at first my motivation was great, but the more I did it, the more I got addicted to it, and I was living vicariously through a dumb blog site. I shoved all my family aside at times to document my day-to-day thoughts and musings, and the things we would do as a family. I see now why her marriage failed.
“The relationships in the home do suffer when a woman leaves her post to minister outside of her calling. You can’t do both! One will suffer. And most woman will pick the other commitment. I picked my family and now I am reaping the most glorious fruit! It was hard to let the dumb blog thing go but when I did, I noticed how my ‘followers’ just moved on to someone else who would feed them. I went to feed my own sheep in my house, because they are the ones that matter most to my calling.
“I could go on for hours telling you why it’s not a good thing to be a young, married woman with children and also run a blog ministry about it. Blog ministry is another thing to discuss whether God calls us to do it at all! If it is, it should be the aged woman, who have raised a family. An elderly woman, really. Because even when your children are grown, they still need you! And grandchildren need your presence! And they are your ministry too. How glorious to have that instead of keeping up with what my readers’ need and having to be present on social media. It was never meant for a woman to leave her calling so easily and be going door-to-door knowing so much stuff and gossip. And keeping up with all peoples lives like we have today. We are meant to live in small communities, living life together face to face. Hugging and smiling into each other’s eyes.”
I applaud her honesty. I even examined my motives in blogging and having an online presence while I have grandchildren. I try hard to not allow my ministry keep me away from my family and control me. Yes, I am an older women who has raised her children. It’s only my husband and me who live in our home now, but I try to always be available to help my children and grandchildren. Being popular is a big draw with social media. It can be extremely harmful and keep women from what God has called us to do.
I don’t travel nor do conferences. I am a keeper at home. I didn’t begin my ministry to be popular or make money. I make a little bit of money from my books, but that’s it. My purpose for writing is to teach women biblical womanhood per Titus 2:3-5. I try very hard to stick to this goal. Young women, your ministry right now is to your husband, your children, and your home. Don’t allow anything to distract you from this important ministry. I am thankful there was no social media when I was raising my children because even for those who don’t have online ministries, social media can take away from the ministry that God has called you to do.
We must be wise with our time. The days are evil. Use your time wisely. Invest your life into your family and others. This is storing your treasures in heaven. Don’t allow the lure of social media or a ministry outside of your home steal God’s best for you. Be committed to His will only. It is perfect. Spend your days building up your marriage and your home. This is the wisest way to use your time, energy, and talents. There is great reward!
Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.
Proverbs 14:1
16 thoughts on “Women Leaving Their Posts”
Even I struggle quite a bit with my desire to write and design. I am twenty and married, and I am working hard on letting God heal and transform my mind from my chaotic childhood. With that, I am working very hard on keeping my home, battling anxiety, depression, and inflamed tendons. I know that when I eat and sleep properly, I don’t deal with it as much, but I have stressors that constantly pop up and I have to start over from square one all over again.
During those times of recovery, I turn to reading and writing about Scripture and sharing what I am learning. With my page, I hope to bring awareness to the issues of feminism through my childhood story and how I’m struggling now because of it. Not to glorify my struggle or beg for pity, but to show others exactly what happens and how God gives hope for restoring and reconciling!
Within the past six months or so, I’ve taken a few big breaks from posting to work on my mental health and marriage. The last break I took, I had a whole month’s worth of writing that I really wanted to post. But after the break, I decided to let it go and start fresh. That was a huge step for me in letting go of my addiction to social media. Now I’m focusing on sharing my notes from studying the Scripture, all relating to biblical womanhood. And even now, I’m hoping to continue to kill my addiction as I work on being able to take on more around the home.
Slowly, I’m preparing myself to give it up entirely if need be once I have children. People might “rely” on me to give a niche perspective on this topic, but strangers on the internet don’t matter as much to me as my family does. Not anymore. I’m thankful for all that running a (hopefully) biblical page has taught me (I’ve had so many embarrassing posts and conversations), but I’m definitely starting to be able to let go now. Thank you so much for your ministry, Lori! You have taught me pretty much everything I know and have pushed me until pursuing Jesus Christ even harder. God bless.
This is so true and a blessing !! For me I have the same story only with ministry at church I was in church more than with family and my marriage and family suffered severly and almost ended I now am home and we turned around and am working on our family !!!
For all these women ignoring their family, can you honestly say you expect to stand in front of God one day, giving an account of your life and expect a “job well done” from God when you have done everything in direct opposition to what God has commanded of women?
As a 60 year old widower, ALL I hear from women of 50 to 70 year old supposedly Christian women is that they want me to take them on world cruises and have fun. NONE of them can show me that behavior in the bible nor can they answer me about how the aged women can be teaching the younger women, when they are 1,000’s of miles away on the opposite side of the world away from the younger women of their family.
Amen! I began blogging as a mom to young children. I was attracted to the idea of a following. It gave me a boost and a distraction from the monotony. I quickly saw what it would cost me and gave it up completely. I now have 5 children 16 – 5 and to this day have never blogged since nor do I have one single social media account. Never have since that moment I walked away from my blog. Believe me, it’s isolating from the world but worth it! I completely devote myself to my family because yes, one day I’ll stand before God. I want to have done the work He gave me faithfully.
Thank you for these words you’ve shared. They’re like a friend coming alongside and encouragement to stay the course. Ministry is for the older women for a reason. The Bible always has good reasons for commands. They’ve raised their children. There is more time and wisdom to share.
We ladies still raising our children need to choose what is best. We will not regret it!
Thank you again…
God bless you!
In the King James Bible, Titus 2:3 states that, The aged women…
Aged.
Not older.
A 35-year old woman is older than a 25-year old woman. Older. Not aged.
A 65-year old woman is older than a 55-year old woman. Older. And aged.
In the King James Bible, some of the characteristcs of an aged person are stated:
Fourscore years old (2 Samuel 19:32)
Grayheaded (Job 15:10)
Full of days (Jeremiah 6:11)
In the King James Bible, one of God’s will for younger women is:
Bear children (1 Timothy 5:14)
I am a 35-year old wife without children (yet). I have a deep desire to teach younger women biblical womanhood and pondered if I should start a blog. I almost did. Until God spoke to me clearly through His word:
I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully. (1 Timothy 5:14)
God’s will for me is clear:
Marry.
Bear children.
Guide the house.
Lori, you said in your recent article that the Bible give some exceptions to divorce but you didn’t mention what are those exceptions, if you think that it is adultery, Jesus never said that but fornication? Which means that a men was betrothed or engaged to a woman who lied and pretend to be a virgin then when it’s time to consummate the marriage, he comes to find out that she lied about her being a virgin. So that man had the right to divorce and send her back to her parents and the parents had to defend their daughter and prove that she was truly a virgin and if it turned out that she wasn’t but pretended to be a virgin in her father’s house then her husband could divorce but if he was wrong and it had been proven that she was truly a virgin, he had to stay married to her and be chastised and pay the dad an amount of shekels for having brought a bad name upon a virgin of his people. There is no other exception, now if the husband is abusive and the wife wants to leave him then she have to stay unmarried or be reconciled to her husband if possible. She cannot marry another man and no man should marry her because the Bible command to not marry a divorced women.
I love your thoughts on this subject and how the Lord spoke to you and your obedience to it. Jesus prayer of intercession for His disciples (John 17) spoke to me one day as I felt overwhelmed trying to pray and do for the world. As Jesus prays for “those that God gave Him” it struck me. I was supposed to focus on and minister to those God gave/gives me. I’m not responsible for the whole world. As Jesus said in vs 9 “I pray for them: I pray not for the world, but for them which thou hast given me; for they are thine.”
We need to be obedient to God. He will take care of the rest.
As I’ve tried to be obedient to Him in this I’ve watched as ” The Word of my testimony” ( Revelation 12:11) is multiplying. God will do amazing things as we allow His Light to shine through us.
Praise Jesus!!!
Read the Word and Trust in it.
Great post. Thanks so much for sharing! As some have already said, It seems to me that a lot of women have left their posts by way of social media whether by so called ministry or just using it for wasted time, neglecting husbands, children and being a keeper of the home. I really would like to know if there can be a balance here with this???? I know I have been very guilty of this. Wasting time looking and looking saying I was learning but neglecting my most important God given responsibilities–wife, mom, keeper of my home. And now I am reaping the consequences. Not good!!
By the way, Mrs. Lori. I love your Twitter post on 12-29-21 about the couple that stayed with you. What an example this woman is. We as wives, mothers and keepers of our homes should strive for this. Be good for a blog post. Very encouraging. Thank you!!
Amen! I used to blog about my craft of sewing. Then I moved to selling baby things online that I had sewn (this was about 15 yrs ago before social media and more of the message board era). Looking back I can see this was a poor use of my time. I don’t feel like I neglected my children per say, it was done during nap time and when my older children were in elementary school, but it did become the forefront of my days and thinking. My hubby supported me, but I didn’t really make any money and it was a glorified hobby that took up too much time. I regret doing it simply because there was no point of it. I love to sew for my family and am happy for my skill, but my job is homemaker and finishing out my youngest son’s education as we now homeschool.
I am 47 years old with a 1, 7 and 11 year old all conceived and born naturally to me and my husband – no IVF or fertility treatments, praise God! So, I am an older mother of young children but this still applies to me! 🙂
Things that made my life harder than it had to be: A period of time when I did brochure sales from home and spending too much time in church-related service when my children were young. I am thankful that I knew not to have a career, but I would so have appreciated a warning about these two things. These things are promoted as good and/or acceptable, but they can take a toll, too.
Young women, watch out for these kinds of usurpers of your time and energy while raising young ones!
As Shirley M. commented I also have seen wives/mothers involved too much in the church and neglect duties at home. I’m sure it is easy to do but It still doesn’t make it right. Another balance???? Can there be a balance with church activities and our family/home responsibilities?
Thanks!!
These are some very good comments and insights. I have never assisted with any programs at our church, I’ve never done any volunteer work and was never a “room mother” during the short time my boys were not home schooled. My husband wants me home where I belong with all my focus on the family and our household. My dad and my husband are both elders and church leaders and I never question their leadership!
So many good comments in here! I was a money counter at our church when we first joined for about a year and my kids were 2 and 6. I reasoned that it was only one Sunday a month and not during Sunday School but one day my kids ran in while I was counting to say Hi and they looked so big to me! Even though I was with them every day of their lives I had become distracted. I was also in a leadership role in our homeschool group. Both of those things plus too much computer time kept me distracted so I quit both. This was before I met my Titus 2 mentor. She taught me and two other women to love and serve our families. It took years for her message to sink in! I don’t know what it is – why we want to go out and “do something” when we have young ones at home. When your kids are little, even under 18 years of age, you should not waste precious time on anything else but keeping the home. Thank you Lori!