Working Mothers are Better for Their Children?

Working Mothers are Better for Their Children?

Women have told me that they are better mothers because they work away from their homes and children. Other women have told me their mothers were better mothers because they worked away from their homes. Could this be true? It is only true if the mothers are abusive and/or neglectful but others than this, no, these are lies they are telling themselves to justify working outside of the home.

God commands mothers be home full time with their children. He wants them to love their children, nurture their children, raise them in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord, protect their children, and discipline them. These are the mothers’ responsibility and no one else. No one can take the place of a mother in a child’s life. No one can love them like a mother. Children need and want their mothers.

Child care workers can’t do all of these things that mothers are called to do. Public and private school teachers can’t do it either. They shouldn’t be expected to do it. God has given mothers these responsibilities.

Yes, some mothers must work: single mothers, divorced mothers, widowed mothers. But they still need to do whatever they can to petition the Lord to make a way for them to be home full time with their children. The children need them just as much as any other children need their mothers. Never underestimate the power of prayer to God Almighty. He wants you home full time with your children, and He tells us that His commands are not burdensome.

When women work outside of the home, something always suffers and it’s usually more than one thing. Since they are being paid and working for a boss, most of their time and energy goes to making sure they are doing a good job at work so they won’t be fired. They come home exhausted and give the leftovers to their children. They rarely have anything to give to their husbands. I know. I worked full time for the first two years of my oldest child’s life.

We weren’t created to be help meets to a boss. We were created to be help meets to our husbands. Yes, some husbands require their wives to work. They fail to see the advantage to having their wives at home. In this case, take it to the Lord daily and ask that He convict and change your husband’s mind.

Instead of making up lies about what is best for your children in order to justify your choices, search out God’s Word and make your choices by this. There’s only one Truth in this world and it’s God’s Truth. His ways are perfect, women! Our culture’s ways are destructive.

He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the LORD.
Psalm 113:9

20 thoughts on “Working Mothers are Better for Their Children?

  1. This is so true! I worked in a small office for the first year of my son’s life and I spent more time with my boss than my husband and son. I was his assistant and he expected me to take care of him, from bringing his coffee to listening to his problems. He was a good man and never flirted or acted in a way that made me uncomfortable so there was nothing inappropriate going on, but the situation itself was not appropriate. When I finally quit my job to come home I remember sobbing several times when I realized that I didn’t really know my son, I was barely ever with him. During the week I was so exhausted that I was in survival mode, Saturdays I cleaned and Sundays were spent out of the house shopping and visiting my husband’s family. I didn’t really know how to take care of my own baby during the day, it was heartbreaking. I had to call my mom, who’d been watching him while I worked, to learn what I was doing wrong. I was home the whole time with my next child, I was not always exhausted, I enjoyed my kids and no one knew how to care for him like I did, it was wonderful. I can’t understand why so many women choose a life where they spend more time with strangers than their own families and never fully know their own children, it’s so sad.

  2. Stay at home mothers are better mothers and better wives than working mothers because they dedicate themselves 100% to their family.

  3. I think when people say this kind of stuff, they mean they aren’t as overwhelmed with their kids on a day-to-day basis. I stay at home full-time with my four children 5 and under, and it can be overwhelming. Kids need a lot of attention, especially when they’re so young. I imagine there is some mental break, depending on the job, if a woman wants to go off to work. She doesn’t have to think about her kids or have them bothering her when she’s at work. I’m not saying this to justify women working full-time by any means. I’m a firm believer that if women have kids they need to stay home and take care of them if at all possible.

    1. Isadora, I was a software engineer and worked until our first was born, then came home and never looked back. I also had 4 children under 5 at one point, and it *is* exhausting. It was much easier to be at work, but I never wanted anything more than to be at home with my children. My husband and I were blessed with six children and I only wish it had been more. Women who choose to work when they have children are selfish, pure and simple. If they *have* to work, it is different, but very few married women truly have to work, they just choose to.

  4. My friend couldn’t really stand being around her kid for too long until he was about preschool age; her 6-week maternity leave drove her bonkers. It was probably better for her child that she worked.

    1. I was going to say that the “black pill” perspective on this is that mothers who hate being mothers and, by extension, actually despise their children (having had them in the first place for only God knows what reason) are better off leaving their children for someone else to raise. As in permanently. As in giving up custody of them altogether. Such kids are certainly no worse off being raised by someone other than a biological mother who at best doesn’t care about them enough to raise them, or who at worst actively hates them. The kids are almost certainly going to grow up to be train wrecks as adults anyway, but at least they won’t be burdening the womb provider with their unwanted presence while they’re train wrecks in training.

  5. The hand that rocks the cradle, rules the world.

    William Ross Wallace (1819-1881)
    THE HAND THAT ROCKS THE CRADLE IS
    THE HAND THAT RULES THE WORLD.

    BLESSINGS on the hand of women!
    Angels guard its strength and grace.
    In the palace, cottage, hovel,
    Oh, no matter where the place;
    Would that never storms assailed it,
    Rainbows ever gently curled,
    For the hand that rocks the cradle
    Is the hand that rules the world.

    Infancy’s the tender fountain,
    Power may with beauty flow,
    Mothers first to guide the streamlets,
    From them souls unresting grow—
    Grow on for the good or evil,
    Sunshine streamed or evil hurled,
    For the hand that rocks the cradle
    Is the hand that rules the world.

    Woman, how divine your mission,
    Here upon our natal sod;
    Keep—oh, keep the young heart open
    Always to the breath of God!
    All true trophies of the ages
    Are from mother-love impearled,
    For the hand that rocks the cradle
    Is the hand that rules the world.

    Blessings on the hand of women!
    Fathers, sons, and daughters cry,
    And the sacred song is mingled
    With the worship in the sky—
    Mingles where no tempest darkens,
    Rainbows evermore are hurled;
    For the hand that rocks the cradle
    Is the hand that rules the world.

  6. Hello Everyone, I’m from South Africa and I would like to be a stay at home wife. Our finances are not yet okay and we want to get married. My partner has no problem with idea. Please pray with us so that all this may be possible.

  7. Lori, I want to thank you again for your teaching. I check your blog regularly since the day I’ve found it, I think it was a year ago. You and wise people who comment here are giving me strength to think what I think, do what I do and believe what I believe. And I believe the ways of today’s society are sick and the Truth is elsewhere. God bless You.

  8. This comes from research on working mothers and their impact on the outcomes of their children later in life. The children of working mothers are more likely to have a good work ethic, particularly daughters. The studies in their intent are feminist. Children behave as is modelled to them and grow up as such. The choice to stay home is one that impacts generations as does the choice to work. If you

  9. It is wrong for mothers to work outside the home on so many levels.

    Firstly for any women (aside from those following a religious vocation) from the stage that they are old enough to be able to understand their future role onwards, home and family should be their priority, during education, through courtship, in marriage and in motherhood.

    Secondly children need full time care, clear role models and an education which is founded on Gods design for the family.

    Thirdly in marriage the wife and mother should support and compliment her husband not complete with him.

    Fourthly no woman should be spending time in close relationships with anyone except her husband.

    I could go on. I sympathise with the need for young very busy mothers to be supported and God (Plus grandma) willing to have an occasional break but a priority outside the home is not the answer.

    Obviously in some circumstances wives and mothers are forced to earn an income. But that is very far from ideal.

    1. I appreciate you pointing out the “occasional break”, Susanne. I sometimes wonder if women (not needing the income to survive) work for that reason. I’ve been home for 18 years, and I have appreciated the volunteer ministry opportunities, book club participation, wholesome girls’ nights, weekends away with my husband, etc. that I’ve been blessed with through the years, thanks in part to my parents. I always came home rejuvenated, and my children enjoyed daddy or grandparent time. Our WHOLE family benefited from me getting an occasional evening out. I would encourage moms that believe their jobs are providing a needed break to consider if a more flexible, enriching hobby, time with friends, or volunteer opportunity are what they’d enjoy more, if their income isn’t needed, of course. Once a woman is “responsible” to a job and employer, the commitment then may conflict with needs at home.

  10. Working mothers are better for children

    Divorce is better for the kids…they should not have to see their parents argue

    The children “will be fine” after their parents divorce

    Living together before marriage is great! It helps you decide if you want to get married.

    Two men or two women, or three men, or 23 men and women, can all get married. Marriage is anything that adults want it to be.

    It’s normal and healthy to have semi-naked pictures of women gyrating in impossible sexually explicit poses pasted on every billboard so every child can see them.

    Satan is a great guy, worship of Satan is the same as worship of God

    Christians are inherently racist and churches should be banned.

    ———

    Satan’s lies are growing, growing, growing every day.

  11. I’m a man working in computers, we had a woman come back to work last week from maternity leave. She is very nice and a great worker, I was chatting with her while trying to get her up to speed on an issue and asking her how things went. She said it was wonderful and one of the best things was it was the most time she had got to spend with her 3 year old son since he was born. I wanted to ask if she ever thought about being a SAHM but I need this job and so I don’t discuss anything which could lead to issues with people. I felt bad though.

  12. Hi Lori.

    Yes, everything you wrote is true. However, the Bible says that child-rearing isn’t even a woman’s #1 job. Woman was created to be the man’s helper. That was her #1 purpose and out of that comes her role as mother. To my linear mind it is 1. Wife 2. Mother

    Sean

    1. One of the biggest ways to be a helpmeet is to do well the mothering of your children. This makes your husband’s work so much easier. He’s not concerned about what is happening with his children every day as they are in school or daycare. He is not hoping one of you can take off work for an hour to be there for the plumber who’s needed in the home. He doesn’t worry if yet another supper will need to be picked up and paid for on his way home from work. He doesn’t have to worry about accidentally leaving one of his small children in the hot car all day because he forgot it was his day to drop them off at daycare. I could go on. If you don’t think being a SAHM is the one of the main tenets of being a helper to your husband, you need to seek a different, honest, and realistic perspective.

  13. I have struggled with commenting on this post but decided I would. I have been married for almost 24 years and had all 3 of my children before I turned 24. I have stayed home, never worked a day in my life and don’t have a high school diploma. I certainly have no place passing judgment on a wife/mom regarding working, but I know that my husband has a wonderful life long help meet and my children, who are now adults, grew up in a home filled with love, attention and a focus on the Lord and the Word. I just don’t see how some think throwing yourself into a career and taking “me time” away from your children is necessary to be a great wife and mom over being at home all day everyday raising your own babies and providing your husband and soft place to fall when he comes home from work.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *