A Child Left to Himself

A Child Left to Himself

There are too many children who are being left to themselves. Their parents aren’t disciplining, nor are they training their children. They have fallen for the “gentle parenting” movement. They refuse to say “no” to their children or tell them what they should do. They want them to have a “free spirit” so when they are biting, hitting, and pulling out other children’s hair, their response is, “They’ll grow out of it.” This is testing God. This is playing Russian roulette with their children. This is disobeying God’s clear instructions in His Word. They are raising rebellious children. Part of loving your children, women, is disciplining and training them.

Here’s what God’s Word has to say about disciplining your children:

“He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes” (Proverbs 13:24). I like to use the 1828 Webster Dictionary app for definitions of words in the KJV Bible since it isn’t politically correct. “Chasten” means “To correct by punishment; to punish; to inflict pain for the purpose of reclaiming the offender; as, to chasten a son with a rod.”

“Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying (Proverbs 19:18). The main discipline of your children should begin around 18 months to two years and be over by the time they reach five. You shouldn’t have to spank your children after the age of four or five since they will then be taught to obey you and do what is right. I know you have sensitive spirits, mothers, but don’t allow their crying to persuade you to stop spanking them. You are doing this because you love them and you want them to grow up to be adults with self-control who choose to do what is right.

“Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him” (Proverbs 22:15). All parents can see that foolishness is bound in the heart of their child. Yes, they can use time outs and other means to correct them, but God commands that they use a rod for clear disobedience. What is a rod? A wooden spoon or a small strap on the bottom or upper thigh are good choices.

“Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell” (Proverbs 23:13, 14). These verses are not politically correct in this generation, but live your lives in obedience to God’s Word and NOT to this culture. Never spank your children in anger. Don’t pull their hair, slap them across the face, or anything else that is abusive in nature. Don’t spank them in public or in front of others. The bare bottom is a the perfect place to spank, but you must make sure it hurts to be effective. The pain of the discipline must be greater than the pleasure of the sin.

“The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame” (Proverbs 29:15). Do you want your children to bring you shame? Then refuse to spank and correct them. As Dennis Prager teaches, parents should use vitamin N (NO) on their children often.

“Correct they son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto they soul” (Proverbs 29:17). Do you want your children to give delight unto your soul? Then love them fiercely and discipline them diligently. A well loved and disciplined child is a delight to be around.

Can you legally spank your child? The short answer is yes. In all 50 states and the District of Columbia, you are not forbidden by law to use corporal punishment on your child as long as the form of punishment is reasonable and does not cause injury.”

Is God a gentle parent? “For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth” (Hebrews 12:6). I already defined chasten for you. What about scourge? “To punish with severity; to chastise; to afflict for sins or faults, and with the purpose of correction.” He disciplines us for our good and because He loves us. Do likewise for your children. Train them up in the way they should go.

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
Proverbs 22:6

33 thoughts on “A Child Left to Himself

  1. Amen amen. You have to train kids in the right way, its crucial. Establishing authority structure in the family is important as well. Obedience has to be taught at a young age. Disciplining your kids is a must its not optional. Has to be consequences for disobedience. Ephesians 6:1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.

  2. Children crave discipline! They feel like they are cared about when a parent takes the time to set limits and enforce them. Some of that behavior is attention seeking.

  3. Hi Lori, I agree with everything written in the post. The only thing to be aware of is that if your child attends public school and tells the teacher that parents use corporal punishment (even if there are no injuries or marks) at home – the consequences can be devastating.

    That’s what happened to us.

    Currently, we’re involved with the CPS and the family court. The process is invasive and painful. I cannot tell you how much I cried when the court issued a temporary Order of Protection against my husband – a man who works two jobs to provide for us; a loving dad who spends every minute he’s not working with our daughters. Fortunately, the order has been temporarily vacated. To have the charges filed against us of child neglect and abuse are devastating.

    What I find the most ironic is that teachers all over the country are bemoaning the behavioral issues of the students and the general lack of respect yet they willingly report parents who actually do take the time to discipline and correct their children to CPS?

    Every single teacher in my daughter’s school has told me how much they enjoy having her in the classroom. How do they think a well-behaved and respectful child is produced?

    I apologize if my comment is a ramble. I just wanted to let others know what might happen.

    Feel free to edit for clarity or remove if it’s inappropriate.

    1. Not sure how they can hold this against you since it’s legal in every state in America. We have corrupt courts in our land. This isn’t our home. I am sorry this happened to you.

    2. Wow this is crazy! Your child seems well behaved and on the right path. There are no marks or harm. Another reason I’m against public schools. Keep living for the Lord sister, God is pleased.

    3. I can’t speak for the laws in every state, but teachers are generally going to be mandated reporters (therapists too). This means that they can be liable if they don’t report. Their incentives flow one way, and they are not really allowed to make a judgment call about it. The judgment call is yours, as a parent, as to whether it’s really a good idea to outsource the raising of your children.

      1. They may be mandated reporters, but what is it they have to report? Suspected abuse. Spanking in a reasonable way that doesn’t leave the child bruised up is not abuse.

    4. Withheld,
      I am in a similar boat as you. Except I was homeschooling (or at least trying to) and my mental health spiralled out of control. Consequently 9 of my 10 children were removed from our care and placed in the homes of friends and family. (A highly unusual move for cps) and after a year, we finally have 3 of them back. With more set to return later in the year. My youngest was removed when she was only 9 months old. (Never been spanked) but despite spanking being legal here in Australia. We have been told not to spank or kids could be removed again. They also now go to a small country public school. Thankfully none of the LGBTQXYZ rubbish is being taught. The school are against it. But it won’t be long and they will be forced to teach it. My youngest were immunised against our wishes and placed into childcare. And every second week they stay with my sister in law who his strongly Pentecostal much to our disgust. The ones who have come back, two of them have gotten much worse since being out of our care. The other one is better. But hast a naughty spurt every now and then. We will be watched for a year after each set of kids come home. We are just trying to make it through until cps back off. It’s hard. 😱😟 But thankful I got any back at all. It’s literally cost us thousands of dollars fighting to get them back and visiting them. And our income has been halved at least. And this all occured because my father got upset about us not let kids stay with him in another state. So he called cps and they investigated. Problem is. Our entire lives were spiriling out of control. Which left us vulnerable. While spanking is also legal in all states here, if you are caught using an implement, you can be charged and face jail time.

      1. Our wicked culture believes it’s fine for our children to be slaughtered in their mothers’ wombs, shown strippers during Super Bowl halftime, and be taught gay history but not be spanked for disobedience. It’s fallen so far so fast. My principal in elementary school had a paddle in his office and used it. Rarely were there discipline problems.

    5. Withheld,
      I am a CPS Frequent Flier! The FIRST time we had CPS called on us, there was an electrical fire in our house, which affected 1 room (the room I was in with my first baby.) Once the house had been repaired and refurbished, if I ran two appliances at the same time, the circuit breaker would trip. I did not feel this was right, and I was terrified to stay in house. So, we moved to an extended stay hotel, until the problem was fixed. Of course, the insurance company had already paid and felt it was fixed – so this took a while to work out. Meanwhile, I brought my pets back from the kennel and kept them at the house with heat, electricity, water – all on. I would go 3 or 4 times a day to feed and water everybody, and let the dog out. I paid a neighbor lady to let my dog out 3 additional times a day, including 10pm. She got distracted with a phone call, leaving my dog out in late evening for about 45 minutes. Of course, he began to bark incessantly. Another neighbor called animal control over the unattended barking dog/noise disturbance. Animal control said I couldn’t leave animals in house that people were not living in ( a county rule.) Took my pets away and called CPS – in the event I was ALSO leaving my 19 month old there alone. I had to go to court and pay about $800.00 to get my pets back, and then pay $170.00 a week for the kennel, in addition to the $980.00 a month for the hotel. CPS came to the hotel, looked to see that we had food and were not co-sleeping with our child. They closed the case. The SECOND TIME I had CPS called, I was talking to my oldest child’s (age 3) Occupational/speech therapist. I was unable to get his prescription filled because his Dr. was on vacation. I asked her if she thought it would be ok for me to give him my prescription of the same drug and same dose, sold under another trade name? Apparently, she did not. She called CPS on me. At this point, we lived in a different county – so different Investigator came. As it turned out, before CPS contacted me, another Dr. was willing to fill my son’s prescription and I had not given him any of mine (same thing/same dose.) I had bottle of meds and date-stamped receipt to prove it. The THIRD TIME CPS was called, I deserved it. My oldest son, now age 5, and I came home. My husband works from home. I thought he was there in his office. My daughter was 3, and my youngest son, a few months old. I needed to walk two blocks to my Aunt’s house to pick up her mail for her. My son did not want to go, and I left him. He discovered his Father’s office empty and ran screaming from the house in to the backyard. A neighbor called the police, who arrived just after I arrived, pushing my daughter, and son in the tandem stroller as fast as I could. I was handcuffed and put in the back of a police car. They let me go, only because the CPS investigator was already familiar with me, and I have no record. However, THAT required a parenting class and 3 visits from CPS. The FOURTH TIME CPS was called; my oldest son (again), now 8, was playing on a fall soccer team. He told a friend – and I heard him say it – “that we had bugs in our house and no heat.” Which was true. We had crickets coming in to the basement due to the cool night weather. The previous evening, we had turned on the furnace for the first time of the season, and the blower quit working in the night. Of course, the furnace had already been repaired, by the time of my son’s game, but he didn’t know that. I don’t know which of the other parent’s called CPS, but someone did. The same CPS investigator from previous 3 incidents called me. I sent her photo of repair bill…..case closed. We are financially blessed. I have a beautiful, clean house (with seasonal crickets and spiders in basement.) My three children have their own rooms and beds. They are bathed daily, get monthly hair cuts, bi-annual dental care, eyeglasses. The two oldest have tutors. They also have music lessons, and alternate two sport lessons at a time of gymnastic, swim, ice-skating, hockey, tennis, golf, and horseback riding lessons. They also play two seasonal team sports a year. I spend about $700.00 a year each or more on clothing, shoes and coats for the two oldest. This does not include clothing/gear for sports. I spend a little less for my three year old son, as he can wear some hand-me-downs. Can you imagine what would happen to us if someone calls CPS when my child has a skinned knee from a bike wreck? Heaven forbid a cockroach runs past our house! I’m sure we will get more visits. Doesn’t EVERYBODY?

      1. Above comment – I meant to say the CPS Investigator from the previous 2 incidents – not three.
        On the third CPS call –
        I left my son home alone un-intentionally. He didn’t want to go and we both thought Daddy was home. His office door is always closed. I didn’t put my car in garage, because I needed stroller – so I didn’t see that his car wasn’t there. I literally was two blocks away. I think the neighbor really over-reacted by calling the police. My son told her I went to my Aunt’s house and his Daddy wasn’t there. She knows my Aunt, and knows I was with-in eyesight of the front of the house.

        Also, note that NONE of these cases involved spanking. However, the first CPS visit, my son was 19 months old. She asked us how we disciplined him. We told her we re-directed, and if that didn’t work – we spanked on the bottom with our hand. She said that was acceptable.
        We spanked our children from about 18 months/2 years, until about 4 years. We only used our hand to spank. My daughter has probably had 5 spankings in her life and none since she was 4. My oldest son was a little more difficult. He is almost 9 and we haven’t spanked him in years. Time out and toys taken away were much more effective with him, anyway. The three year old son is easier than the oldest. I think we are done, or close to done with spanking him. I almost never spank(ed) the boys. I believe I understood Dr. Dobson to say that boys being spanked by their Mothers could make them gay. I don’t necessarily believe that (I think the attraction is a spiritual curse/battle and not a ‘choice’ (Of course – like all sinful desires – acting on them is the ‘choice.’) (I know I sure didn’t choose to be heterosexual.) but I know my husband’s mother beat the daylights out of them all the time and two of his brothers are gay. (And, everybody knew they were gay by age 5 or 6.) Anyway, my point about Father’s doing the spanking is – nothing is worse than hearing ‘That is unacceptable behavior and I’m telling your Father.’

        1. Oh. I don’t see it as ‘wicked’, just misguided and overprotective. But I do enjoy watching Jo sort out families and giving wake-up calls to mothers who allow all sorts to go on in the household.

    1. I love the Super Nanny ………and I love the REFLECTION CHAIR. WE have 3 Reflection chairs – because you can’t put 3 kids on one bench and accomplish anything! Also, Mommy and Daddy have Reflection Recliners. We send ourselves to them – AND tell our children we are doing reflecting on the wisdom of our choices and and we can’t talk to them right now!

  4. Unfortunately any “hitting” including spanking in the home is a reportable offense. Mandated reporters are told to report corporal punishment because even if it’s legal, it’s considered a fine line between that and abuse. The question of legality is null because the person deciding if it’s abuse often has an agenda and they call the shots. It is what they say it is. These stories are NOT rare. It happens ALL THE TIME.

    1. This is why mothers need to diligently discipline their children when they are young in their own home and don’t send them to daycare or public schooling. Mothers need to protect their children from this wicked culture and raise their children in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord. No one else needs to know how a mother is disciplining her children, unless there are signs of physical abuse.

    2. It happens because we don’t make enough of a fuss about it. There are groups in every state that are protesting CPS invasions of our rights, all you have to do is google them.

  5. My best friend once told me of a conversation she had with her mother as a teen. Friend was moaning over a grounding punishment for disobedience with the bratty comments like, “I don’t like you. You’re not my friend. You’re hurting me with your mean punishments.” Mom made a comment about how it wasn’t her job to be a friend to her daughter or to teach her daughter to love herself. “It’s about making sure other people don’t wanna hurt you because you’re a pain in the butt. Someday you’ll thank me.” Friend says, “God bless my mom for never taking the easy way out! I’m so grateful she whooped my butt when I deserved it.”

  6. My Father, who was a very wise man taught me, regarding parenting: 1.) If you don’t have control of behavior by age three, you’re a loser. (I think there are some challenging children and that’s not true for all – but a good rule of thumb.) 2.) You can’t reason with a child before the age of 5. 3.) Never discipline out of anger. I started having children late in life and I really don’t get angry. However, I have seen way too many young and frustrated Mothers that are discipling out of anger. 4.) For older children, my Father said that that as a young parent, he said ‘No’ WAY too much. He learned to always say ‘Yes’, unless he had to say ‘No.’ The reasons for saying ‘No’ to requests were: a.) It was physically or spiritually dangerous. b.) It was financially unaffordable. c.) The child’s behavior or lack of maturity did not warrant a ‘Yes’ response. My personal parenting beliefs are firstly, to teach and encourage and praise my children for good behavior, for doing chores, picking up after themselves, and for attempting new things and learning how to clean, cook, and be helpful. I wasn’t allowed to make mistakes as a child, and I have an Aunt who was even more nit-picking of her children. Hence, I have cousins who gave up long ago. They knew they would never be good enough, so they quit trying. They did not complete school. They do not work. They collect government checks, smoke and watch television. Secondly, I don’t know if it’s possible, but I am attempting to raise my children without the feeling they are inherently bad and to protect their conscience. I grew up in a ‘fire and brimstone’ church where ‘narrow is the path or your soul gets cast.’ I lost my sense of conscience for many, many years. I don’t mean I was a heathen or immoral, but if I did do something I wasn’t proud of – I didn’t allow myself to feel any guilt or sorrow. I can only imagine what it would be like to grow up in the love of God with an inherent belief in my potential to do GOOD. Instead of clinging to the precipice of damnation knowing I was born a sinner and lucky I may have the chance to receive Grace.

    1. I agree with most of your comment, but the ending sounds like you’re heading for the antinomian heresy, where we get grace no matter what we do. That was introduced into the church, again, by Marxist’s and the CFR in the early 1900’s. We Christians are now shops fed to shut up and not judge. It’s very dangerous, because the heathens are certainly judging, and our nation is becoming a wreck.

      A great book on it is “The Killing of Uncle Sam”.

  7. And modern psychology and all this “spanking traumatizes children” and “they need to express themselves and let their creativity out” is garbage. It’s humanism. Kids are the ones who rule the household today, not parents.

  8. The entire thrust of the progressive movement was to remove control of the children from fathers and mothers, and to put women and children under the state.

    Forbidding spanking is the state saying parents aren’t in charge of children. It’s funny, they won’t let parents spank, but if a belligerent 20 year old, who was never spanked, challenges a police officer, these same progressives have no problem with him being killed. Wretched and malevolent monsters is what these snakes are.

    They refuse to let children be taught reading, writing, and arithmatic, and at the same time try to intoxicate them with drugs and sex. They also furiously deny them opportunity to learning morality, virtue, and the Bible. Because they know, a virtuous, wise, literate, and God fearing people will throw their tyranny and slavery off.

    Rebellion against tyranny is obedience to God.

    Thomas Jefferson

  9. I wonder if a boy of 14 who’d been raised with spankings would have even considered recklessly setting paper airplanes on fire in his basement? It was never shown that I’d actually caused the subsequent house fire, and all of the troublesome upset that came with it. But if a boy’s bottom ever needed warming and reddening across his mother’s knee, surely mine was deserving. As it was, I never even got so much as a smack.

    There was a good handful of instances in my childhood when either my mother or my oldest sister (in Mum’s absence) should’ve spanked me. But even when it was clearly understood that a spanking was called for, and very possibly on my bare bottom, I was punished instead by the withdrawal of their affection. As a result, learning the critical lesson of Actions & Consequences was that much harder for me.

    I don’t agree that spankings shouldn’t be necessary for older children. When I was 10 or 11 and I’d been rude to my mother on the phone (she was a schoolteacher, and she’d phoned home from school late one afternoon, only to have me tell her she was interrupting my favourite TV show), her very first words upon seeing me were an angry “For two cents, I’d spank you!” And that’s exactly what she should’ve done, even if it meant my pants being taken down.

    A sound spanking then, or later at age 14, would’ve done much to acquaint me with my personal accountability. I was a shy, sensitive boy who respected authority, but I was also subject to flights of naughtiness. All the shame and pain of a well-spanked bottom would’ve established perceptible boundaries for me. I was definitely raised in a loving environment, but I suffered from the deprivation of meaningful punishment – especially when everyone knew I deserved it.

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