Birth Control For Christians?

Birth Control For Christians?

Written By Nancy Campbell From Above Rubies

The Lord, in His holy Scriptures, calls children blessings. He calls them a reward.

Why would we not want a reward from the Lord? Would we refuse any other reward from Him? A bigger house? A newer car?

There are no Scriptures supporting the use of birth control.

The only mention of any sort of birth control (deliberately preventing a child from being conceived), follows with the Lord killing the man who committed the act.

We see many Scriptures that describe how the Lord opens and closes the womb. He is in control. If we claim to believe in the sovereignty of God, how can we deny His sovereignty in the the life He creates in the womb?

When we have children, we have little disciples around us all day in the home, whom we can teach in the ways of the Lord.

What better way to spread the Gospel than by sending forth shining lights from our own homes?

When we have the attitude of not wanting another baby because “circumstances aren’t right,” “finances are tight,” or “it’s just too hard,” we are having the same attitude of people who kill their children in the womb.

Up until the early 20th century, the Protestant church was completely opposed to couples using birth control and considered it sin.

Why has this changed? I suspect a couple of reasons. Firstly, the church, at large, has become more like the world and has adapted its values in many areas.

Also, I believe birth control became more readily accepted so women could go out to work outside the home–something else that is not Scriptural. With couples being able to “choose” when and how many babies to have, it freed up women to go out into the workforce, therefore weakening the family with mothers away from home.

Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.
Psalm 127:3-5

32 thoughts on “Birth Control For Christians?

  1. Funnily enough, this subject has been on my mind lately, and my husband and I were talking about it last night. I feel like I’m done having babies. Then I really, REALLY want another. Then I’m done. I’m back and forth. My problem is (and i only really realized this last night) is that our last child was more with a rare genetic disorder. She has a very mild form, but that’s not a guarantee that future babies that might have this would have a mild form. Of course, there’s not a guarantee that future babies WOULD be born with it. If it wouldn’t be for the 1 in 3 (or 4) chance of future babies being born with this, I’d be pregnant. My problem is going between doubting that I’m trusting God (but I do) and thinking that He expects me to use common sense. But I don’t know if it is common sense. But I don’t know if its trust. It would be nice if the decision was taken out of my hands and God would just do something one way or another. Then there’s the whole thing that while I’ve gone through labor all the way to “I see a head”, my babies don’t go further and I have to have Cesarean sections. (Tip: CS recoveries are much easier if you don’t go through labor)

    1. Years ago we came to the same conclusion as this article. After more years we finally had children. Now I’m “old” and was nervous about having a baby with Down Syndrome if I were to even be able to get pregnant again. I still have to trust God and know that EVERY child is a blessing even if it means that I learn more from having a special needs child then I imagined. My husband helped me tremendously because he said he has always liked people with Down Syndrome (they never stab you in the back). One of his good friends years ago was mentally disabled and my husband would drive him and his girlfriend to the movies and sit with him in church. He was a blessing to our family.

      One of my personal hero’s of the faith is a woman who had Down Syndrome and while she was in the hospital dying (this was back when a lot of people with this issue died early) she converted her roommate to Christ. That is more than so many of us Christians do. I know the woman who was converted will be eternally grateful to our friend and that her life had more meaning than most people who walk this earth because they don’t acknowledge God or share His word.

    2. I just had a ‘stalled’ or ‘slow’ embryo placed into my uterus after declaring Patient rights forcing the doctors to give me the embryo that they would have inevitably destroyed.

      It was all rather dramatic, and the female doctor and embryologist probably don’t like me anymore.

      Anyway, the lesson is…

      Take what you can get. And take as much of it as possible.

    3. VS, similar situation here. I’m a carrier for a rare, extremely severe genetic disorder. Our first child was born with it. He is nonverbal and needs 24-7 care, and will eventually need to go into a care facility when my husband and I are too old to care for him ourselves anymore. Our child needs all the same care that an infant would. I became pregnant with our second child before I knew I was a carrier, and our second was born without the disorder. We then learned that with each pregnancy there would be a 50% chance of the child having this disorder. With that high of a risk, we decided to prevent future pregnancies, and are now exploring the possibility of adoption. My own personal opinion is that prevention of future pregnancies is warranted in an extreme and rare situation such as ours. If I were not a carrier, I would have joyfully been open to having more children. Having said that, our child with a disability is still a blessing in our lives.

  2. I agree with this.
    I know many have different opinions about it.

    Before my surgery. I was asked, this was a difficult decision, if I wanted to tied/cut my tubes. I said no. They asked me why if my life could depend on it.
    I was asked 4 times if not 5 one day before my surgery again. One more time before I went into the Operating Room. Incase I changed my mind.

    Just going outside my life has a risks. How many people die a day? If I live in fear then am I trusting the Lord?

    Yes, I lost 3 babies in past and its sad.
    This last pregnancy was so difficult and painful mostly the after surgery part. I don’t wish it on anyone. Not to mention the stress of hearing tbe risks of death as each day went on. I knew if I choose not to cut my tubes and my uterus would of been saved. I knew the risks already. So why do it? Why not just cut them off and avoid the future suffering of a pregnancy?

    Life is unpredictable. I trust the Lord in his decisions.

    I did ask for counsel and I prayed about it.. At the end I let go and Trusted the Lord.

    If He wanted me to continue to have children he would not close my womb. If He wanted me to stop He would closed my womb.

    Don’t we trust the Lord everyday as we live day by day. We need to LIVE TODAY and not Worry of the Tommorow. Tommorow is never promised.

    I lost my uterus.
    This was God’s doing. He closed my womb.
    I trust Him and He blessed me with 8 WONDERFUL children.
    I’m blessed.

  3. I have struggled with this. I have four kids as you do and you stopped having kids for health reasons….would I be ‘allowed’ to stop for health reasons? when is stopping okay??? for me I think the health is mental, I love motherhood but I have a very hard time being a functional person and have little to no guidance in life besides what I find online. I don’t think I should have more than four kids, I should focus on the ones I have especially since I homeschool and never get a ‘break’ …you didn’t homeschool so you might not know the full load it puts on a mom. anyway…I just don’t know. four seems like a good amount to me and now I’m considering birth control since depriving my husband sexually obviously is not a good choice.
    I guess I will keep praying about it.

    1. Many doctors are anti-children and will tell you to stop for ‘health reasons’. We were told this after my second child was born. The doctors were pretty adamant towards my husband to sign to have my tubes tied. He didn’t. We have had 2 more children after.

      I home educate my children. I never go out or have ‘me’ time. I understand the load it is on a mom. My hubby expects me to teach and do the work at home. He is supportive but not much involved. He works so hard for us and I know that he loves us. I don’t have a support system either. We are mostly alone. But I know that Christ is using this loneliness to draw us as a family closer and it is only a season in life. As for mental health, lean on Gods word. Spend time with Christ. He is the only one that can being balance and stability in this crazy world.
      We did get a vasectomy 6 years ago. I can tell you I regret it. My faith was too small. God says he will give us strength to face anything. If we need wisdom ask and He will give it to all, freely and upbraideth not. (James 1:5)

      My husband wasn’t a believer at the time ( I was) and there are many reason I justified pushing him to have it done. But it came down to me not trusting God. I wish I could go back and do things different, because I know now that it wasn’t the will of God.

      Don’t deprive your husband sexually. There are too many temptations in the world and other women easily accessible. Find joy in loving your husband and leave the rest to God.

  4. Much work is needed to turn the tide to biblical family raising. Where are we now? The fourth or fifth generation out in the debate of birth control? Much propaganda has ensued….the planet is overcrowded! The artic is melting! Many a man and woman has been raised in this environment and they are very weak minded. Are we ready to live in community to help out our fragile brothers and sisters if they wish to live in line with the Lord? Just the other day a woman killed her three children here in Arizona. Just my two cents. Thank you for your wonderful blog!

  5. Amen, Lori.

    Birth control is just as wicked as pornography and abortion. All subvert the intent of the sex drive, which was marriage and children.

    America has been killing off her children ever since a rogue SCOTUS legalized birth control with “Griswold vs. Connecticut” in 1965.

    At least 90% of marriageable women in America today firmly believe in birth control. They are foolish and do not understand they are fighting for the destruction of the church and nation. Men are supposed to be leaders, and over 90% of men love birth control too. Lots of free sex and no added responsibilities. That’s how lazy pagan men think.

    It’s the men’s fault that women practice birth control, because if we men refused to get married to women who wanted to limit their children, women would fall all over themselves to have as many as they could. Women’s actions are often a reflection of what most men in a society are doing. When men in a society are corrupt, selfish, and foolish, women rarely fail to be this as well.

    Studies have shown that women have as many children as their husbands want in marriage.

    Another underlying topic that mostly affects men, but which leads to a lot of this selfishness, and which the Bible severely forbids is masturbation. For when a human thinks they can satisfy their own sexual desires, they become grossly selfish and narcissistic. God designed sex to lead humans out of their selfishness, into relationships with Him, and others.

    1. Amen Montesquieu! In the 1960’s men were totally in charge in the US. Because of ungodly men, the laws and attitude of women working, using birth control, and having babies changed. The MEN wanted help with finances, less children, and more sex! They wanted an easier life. They made it sound appealing to women so the women gathered and began to fight for their “rights”. I’m a product of that society and was completely duped. I was on birth control for many years and 100 percent believe it resulted in my infertility. Thanks be to God for the internet and blogs such as this so young women can learn the truth.

  6. VS…..I understand the common sense questioning, but I read a good response to that……When you say that God wants us to use common sense in this area, aren’t you actually saying that trusting God with it ISN’T using common sense? I can’t think of anything more practical or logical than giving my will over to the one person in the universe that has the ability to see my entire life from end to end, and not only knows how it’s all going to play out, but actually has the power to DIRECT it that way. To me, that’s the best “common sense” that exists!

  7. I have a daughter with a rare brain defect. She is our 3rd Child out of 10. Very high needs and non verbal. As it turns out, it looks like I may have several children with some form of disorder of varying degrees. And while I’d still love more, I have had 3 miscarriages and at 38, I’m struggling to get and stay pregnant. God gives you the grace you need for each child. Disabled or not. He wouldn’t give them to you if you were incapable.

  8. Trusting completely in God especially with such a weighty topic as having a Down’s child or a disabled child is a true test of faith. I worked with mentally disabled and handicapped children before marriage. They were a huge responsibility, and I can’t even imagine trying to care for the more medically involved children at home. But… they are the most beautiful, loving children! They all have senses of humor, and they loved being held and read to and paid attention to. These children are trusting and have no guile. Some of them have tempers, too! They need to know about Jesus just as much as a normal child does. They may not ever be able to understand about God’s forgiveness or what sin is, but they do need to know that there is a God who loves them and has a place all prepared for them in heaven. For those of you ladies that have these treasures, you face challenges that most of us will never have to face. God has a special place in His heart for you and for your children, and He will give you the strength, patience and grace to care for them. God bless you!

    1. So birth control is the pill form, would you say using condoms is that a sin to use in marriage, yes we use them but my husband does not want any more kids. I refuse to go on the pill, those things do so much more damage to a women’s body then preventing pregnancy.

  9. It greatly concerns me that Christian women don’t research the pill. The pill doesn’t just stop the egg from being fertilized. If you get pregnant, while on the pill, it changes the lining of the uterus to discourage an embryo from implanting there. We can and do forgive sin but if you are a Christian woman on the pill, it’s worse than a non Christian on the pill. Non Christians don’t know any better but a Christian woman should make themselves aware of what each contraceptive does. It’s not the responsibility of a non Christian Doctor to inform you. It’s the Christian woman that answers to God for her sin not the non Christian Doctor. Having said that, if you have been using the pill, stop and get informed and God will forgive you.

  10. I feel desperately for those who are caring for children with special needs or who have very challenged medical issues. It is often almost impossibly difficult to she God’s purpose or to accept that we must submit ourselves to his will and trust in his grace.

    But the practice of birth control is so clearly against God’s purpose for marriage, for intimacy between husband and wife and very clearly his design for us as women and as wives.

    As wives we have to accept that our husbands is the head of our family and we must submit to our husbands will. Whilst I birth control is a sin if a husband chooses to prevent conception by withdrawal or a condom that is wrong but it is his sin. But no married women should ever take any deliberate action to render intimacy sterile, to limit or poison her natural fertility or under any circumstances kill the child in her womb. The pill especially is a cause of abortion and any contraception is a perversion of the purpose of intimacy.

    I truly wish that all Christian Churches would unequivocally condemn birth control and I wish that all Christian husbands and father’s the courage to stand firm in neither encouraging or permitting their wives to fall into this sin.

    Birth control perverts Godly marriage, leads to promiscuity and ultimately opens the door to the acceptance of abortion.

  11. This is where I struggle and wonder WHY IS IT ONLY CHRISTIAN WOMEN WHO ARE CHALLENGED WITH THIS? I’m very much convinced and convicted that Gods word has not changed and that he alone opens and closes my womb. But guess who else is in charge of that? My husband. Who has been nothing short of mean and hateful at times over our difference of opinions on this matter. Making my 4th pregnancy almost miserable at times and since our son was born has constantly reminded me that “he’s done” “God gave us a brain and we are in over our head” “you need to get on birth control because I’m not having a vasectomy” “I’m not going to live by this Duggar mentality you’ve been brainwashed with and just throw caution to the wind and have 20 kids. That’s STUPID” “I’m too stressed and am going to die early probably from the kids we have”

    Constant doom and gloom and negativity and LACK OF FAITH AND JOY AND TRUST. And yes he is a Christian.
    Where’s the strong godly men standing in front of him pointing him to Gods Word the way you and Nancy Campbell do us? Confronting the men of this weak church age about the history of birth control and challenging their attitudes? Does your husband not teach on this? I’m overwhelmed knowing this truth and being the only one in my marriage who believes God at his word about this.

    1. Hi Haley,
      Something about your post tugged at my heart. While I’m anywhere near qualified as Lori to answer, I wanted to encourage you to trust God and leave it alone. When I finally quit trying to “help” my husband see God’s way, it allowed God to move in his life.( Besides, how can I tell him he’s not following God when I’m not submitting to him?) And God gave us 2 more kids. We have 4 kids now too and he says we’re done. That doesn’t bother me because I serve a great God! But please, put your trust in God and submit to your husband in your heart. My husband and I are blessed because he knows I fully support his decision about 4. I’m never going to bug him about it. He also knows if he decides to have another child I’m ready for that too.
      I was in the same boat you were once, it made me and my marriage terrible and I would also have to confess it just distances me from the Lord too (even though I didn’t realize it at the time).
      Praying for you!

        1. Becca I’ve no doubt you could feel my frustration and despair thru the words I typed. Truthfully though I gave all of this to the Lord just 2 months before God moved in my husbands heart and he decided (notice he thinks it’s his decision to have kids or not) to be intimate with no protection and we conceived in December 2018. God is good and faithful! He immediately began having doubts and fears and criticisms towards me. Talk about spiritual warfare! Throughout my pregnancy and immediately after our son was born I felt Satan attacking us thru my husbands horrible attitude towards having 4 kids and his resentment that I wanted them more than he did. He loves them but God knows he didn’t want them like I did. I know he won’t have peace and joy in his life until he relinquishes the control he thinks he has over his life up to the Lord. Giving him the rightful place in his life. Learn to let go and trust the Lord IS in control and we aren’t. Accept things from the Lords hand. I’ve prayed for awhile that God would send a mentor for my husband. To disciple him in the faith and share wisdom to gain victory in his life over things I know he struggles with but I can’t help him with. Because I disagree with his belief (I don’t argue with him though hear me there! He brings this up a lot but upon Loris advice I DO NOT ENGAGE HIM IN AN ARGUMENT.) he is bitter and Obviously I struggle with it too and that is what’s so sad about this. I will continue to trust that God is leading my husband and pray that God will put godly men who are stronger in their faith in his path. Also that God would help me fully submit to him.

          1. The Church – all Churches has a huge responsibility in bringing men to the Lord on this issue. As wives we can only womb to God, submit our bodies to our husbands, and pray.

            I believe in submission, and I don’t think that a wife can or should deny her husband intimacy, because he uses contraception, or acts to prevent conception. But I do not believe that submission goes as far as agreeing to poison our own bodies or deliberately accept injury (sterilisation) to render ourselves infertile.

            It is hugely unfair for a husband to ‘blame’ his wife for becoming pregnant, and undoubtably a manifestation of evil. But it is something we may sometimes have to live with and bear. I doubt that in his old age any husband will wish away the blessings which God has given him.

  12. Hi Haley, I felt like telling you the rest of my story as briefly as I can.
    After we had our second baby, my husband told everyone he would NEVER have another baby. I won’t elaborate but his attitude bothered me terribly. It was a nasty one too. He was also counting the months till I finished school and could work and bring home a paycheck. That was what he looked forward to. He was miserable and so was I. I stumbled upon Lori’s blog while I was looking for a way to understand my husband and get what I wanted out of my marriage. I started trying to submit and respect him because I hoped he would changed his mind and let me stay home with the kids. However and thankfully, Lori consistanly taught the truth. What I found was that—I—had the problem because my submission wasn’t from my heart. It took a long time for me to get there too. On my journey to submission from the heart, I prayed for my husband to have Godly friends who really loved the Lord and his ways.
    About a year later (a very long year with my husband not be where he needed to be with God) he came home from church and told me he didn’t want me to work. Then our 3rd child was conceived a few months after he met his best friend and also named after him (all my husband’s change of heart). (Btw, Lori, it was during these months that I know the Lord used your blog to save my marriage and I praise Him for you!)

    God is amazing, I say that out of the bottom of my heart. Don’t ever listen to the devil when he tells you it is hopeless. I encourage you not to give up. I couldn’t even begin to tell how good God has been to me and the miracles I saw happen in my marriage. Did the change happen in him as fast as I wanted? Nope. Was I miserable some days? Honestly, yes. I don’t know the mind of God, don’t know anybody else’s mind or heart but my own. But on my journey to submission from the heart God kept using the things in my husband’s life to speak to the sin and failure in my own life that I was too blind to see. (Not saying this is your problem, dear sister, just sharing my story❤️). It got to the point that I couldn’t pray and complain to God about him anymore cause there lay my faults that I had been blinded to. I thought that my husbands changes would help me feel better. But they didn’t. That was a lie. Anytime he changed I always found some other “sin” about him that I hated. What really made me feel better was to get down to pray and quit telling on my husband and realizing in my heart I was more at fault than him. Sure our sins were different. But my happiness started when I accepted that our marriage was made up of two sinners — not one sinner and a saint. Something you would have never convinced me of before.
    Not sure why I shared all this, cause I usually just read the comments.
    I will be praying for you and your family❤️

    1. You shared that because the Holy Spirit is using your story to challenge and exhort me to apply Gods truth. I’ve got all the good books for help meets and I feel like I’m allergic to them. Not kidding. I’ve started reading Debi Pearls book 3 times and get to about Chapter 4 and can’t finish. This is more of a spiritual battle than I ever realized. Your story sounds so familiar to mine and my own husband it’s kinda weird! Lol. Thank you for replying. And thank you for praying and not judging me. God bless you sister.

  13. I’ve never been comfortable with taking a pill that messed with my natural hormones. I’m glad my mom didn’t let me get birth control when I wanted to when I was younger. I still want to have a big family but worry about costs because of inflation and high taxes here in California. But I know God will always provide and care for those who love Him.

  14. This recently came up in our home and I’d like to know your thoughts. My husband doesn’t want anymore children right now and possibly ever again. He’s stressed about how tight money is for us even though we’ve never gone without and actually have more than we could ever need. Since our 4th baby was born in September he’s pushed me to get on birth control. He says I should do that or get my tubes tied even though he knows I’d be violating my conscience before the Lord by doing either. My doctor suggested after birth that there’s non hormonal birth control but BIRTH CONTROL isn’t something I feel I have any right to! How can I submit to my husband in this without harming myself and going against what Gods already shown me in his Word concerning fertility?

    1. According to God’s Word, Haley, you are to submit to your husband in everything. Submission is a powerful tool that God uses in men’s life for good. Do what he has asked you to do. Ask if he would wear condoms during your fertile times. Practice NFP. Learn your cycles. Show him literature how harmful the birth control pill is and getting your tubes tied. Pray that he will be convicted about doing either of these. In the meantime, be a kind and loving wife towards him. Don’t be angry or bitter towards him. Give it all to the Lord and allow the Lord to lead your husband.

  15. I should clarify the injury and low progesterone are two separate issues. During the injury we were advised and warned. The low progesterone seems to be genetic for me unless God has already healed me. The miscarriage is unknown to us why, however low progesterone is a risk.

  16. My wife and I were raised “in church”, but we were rebellious and worldly. We have both given our lives to the Lord and we have been married for almost 20 years. We have twins on the way and they are numbers 11 and 12. I will say to anyone that will listen that we would not have it any other way. My wife is a keeper at home and she homeschools our children. I currently make more money than I ever have, but I have only had my current job for about 6 months. We have always only lived on my salary, so for sure, things have often been tight. We haven’t bought many of the things that other people buy but we have never considered ourselves as having to do without. And no, our children do not run around in rags, and they always have plenty to eat. In fact, we have been fortunate enough to have our children involved in wholesome leisure activities that I wish I could have done when I was a youth.

    In a day and age when it is difficult to purchase homes and vehicles without financing, we have never given in to the pressure to have “two incomes” so we could keep up with the Jones’. We believe the temptations of American society have caused many people to trade their families well-being for their families material gain. The Hebrews were in bondage in Egypt and still considered every birth to be a blessing to God, and of course, as you all know, Moses was born, he grew up, obeyed God and led the Israelites out of bondage. I like to remind people of this when they refer to economic considerations when it comes to child rearing, especially when we live in a prosperous nation when we compare it with other places. Of course, we know very few people that share our views, and many times it is because they have chosen differently and rather than admit they could be wrong, they dig their heels in to prove why they are right. I could talk about this subject all day, but I want to let people know that if we have done it, you can do it, and you should….because God’s way is more rewarding than the world’s way.

    1. *I meant blessing FROM God…but thinking about it, I would say it wouldn’t be wrong to say a blessing TO God as well.

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