Are You Pleasant to Be Around?
Jeremy Vuolo wrote praises about his wife, Jinger (formerly Duggar), and remarked how pleasant and sweet she is. Women with these qualities make it easy for their husbands to live with them and we should all strive to be known as being pleasant. The 1828 Webster Dictionary defines pleasant this way: “Pleasing; agreeable; grateful to the mind or the senses; cheerful.”
I asked the women in the chat room what they think of when they think of a pleasant person. Here are some of their answers: joyful, smiling, kind, never complains, kind, optimistic, sees the best in others, not overly opinionated or loud, thoughtful and respectful of others, a good listener, and someone who is interested in others. One woman thought that Ma Ingalls from Little House on the Prairie was portrayed as a pleasant woman and others felt that the Bates and Duggar women portrayed this beautiful quality.
In Ephesians 4, we are told how we can be pleasant for our husbands and children to live with. “…walk worthy of the vocation wherewith ye are called” (Ephesians 4:1). Most women’s vocation (calling by the will of God) is to be wives and mothers. Therefore, we are exhorted to walk worthy of this high calling. How are we to do this? “With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love” (Ephesians 4:2). Lowliness is freedom from pride and humility, not thinking better of ourselves than we ought nor thinking we are better than others. It’s esteeming others better than ourselves (Philippians 2:3). If we live a life of lowliness, we will not be arguing and contentious with our husbands or others because when we do this, we do it from a spirit of pride (exalting ourselves over them).
If we are pleasant, we will live a life of meekness. Meekness is softness of temper; gentleness; forbearance under injuries and provocations. We don’t get angry easily but are gentle with our husbands and others even when we think they are being unkind since we are called to forbear one another in love (Ephesians 4:2). Our family doesn’t have to walk around on eggshells around us because our moods are not ever changing but stable and good. We control our moods. Our moods don’t control us.
We are longsuffering and forbearing one another in love. This is so opposite of what most in our culture are willing to do. As soon as trials come into their marriage and they are having to suffer and forbear with their spouse, they walk away. However, godly women will live in subjection to their husbands with godly behavior even when their husbands are unkind or living lives that are not pleasing to the Lord. They will adorn themselves with meek and quiet spirits and they will “not be afraid with any amazement” (1 Peter 3:6) because they know that God is good and His plans for them are good.
She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
9 thoughts on “Are You Pleasant to Be Around?”
This post really resonated with me Lori and it serves as a gentle reminder of how a woman seeking God’s own heart should be in all situations. Thank you for your teachings.
I’m a work in progress lol! As I read all these verses about women, I always think how much easier it would’ve been to be taught this at the beginning of life! (Are you listening, Moms out there!?) Unlearning bad habits and relearning new ones is HARD!!
Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.
That is so true! I encourage young mothers to train out any habits their children have that are annoying. These children will thank their mothers one day!
Beautiful teaching and so important. I think a crucial difference between childhood and being an adult is realizing no one else should bear the weight of my having a day or mood. I try to be thoughtful of not contaminating another person with my flaws or hardships.
Yes! As a couple we have had many extremely difficult times. Loss of babies through miscarriage, a disabled child, death of parents, bankruptcy. He has been there for them all. Held me when I cried buckets. Supported me through severe depression. And he still loves me as much, if not more than we first married.
So glad you have a supportive husband.
I like what you are writing. I have a incredible difficult wife can you please respond
I need such help in this area! I often respond to unkind behavior with my own unkind behavior and harshness. My mood often dictates how I react to many situations and if one thing sets me off then I struggle remaining kind and pleasant throughout the rest of the day. The world teaches that women have a right to be grumpy and bossy towards their husbands when this is not God’s way. I pray every day for God to work in my heart.