Back When There was Decency and Modesty

Back When There was Decency and Modesty

My mom was raised before the sexual revolution. Decency and modesty were valued in America. Sexual deviancy and immorality were frowned upon. Here’s a comment that was left on my Facebook page under my post from last Friday called The Progression of Sexual Sin in Our Culture:

“Not to mention such things were not openly discussed; it was improper and shameful. Women used to take an escort when attending outings and gatherings so she would not look like a loose woman. It was the job of a brother/male relative to protect a woman’s reputation. He could vouch for her that she was never left alone in the presence of a man and therefore, her proprietary would not be questioned.

“It used to be expected that women would be virgins on their wedding day, no matter their age. Maternity clothes were loose, not because of shame but because it wasn’t anything you should draw attention to; how a woman became pregnant was not discussed. Sitcoms had twin beds so nothing immodest was implied even between ‘married characters’ on the show. Living together before marriage was a big no no. It would bring great shame and embarrassment on a family. If a couple were so bold to cohabitate, it was a big secret families didn’t want to let out of the bag.

“Times have changed a lot! And in a very short amount of time. I’m afraid young people don’t even know society was ever like this. They have all been raised in an era where improper things are openly discussed and embraced.”

Now, families like the Duggars who embrace these qualities of decency and modesty are mocked. We, as believers in Jesus Christ, should be willing to be mocked for following God’s plan for our lives rather than culture’s.

There has always been wickedness in America, but it has only grown worse as Romans 1 clearly states. In past generations in America, however, the ways of the Lord were not mocked but valued. Women valued chastity, modesty, discretion, and being wives and mothers at home. Some say that America wasn’t founded upon biblical Christians and the Founders weren’t believers, but I believe they are wrong. No, not all were Christians but even the ones that weren’t Christians valued good morals and values that were in line with Scripture.

Our culture has veered way off of the paths of the Lord but that doesn’t mean that we should. They are the good and perfect ways. Teach your children them even if you are ridiculed by family members. Live them out boldly and with joy! Be a light to all of those around you. The Lord is good and His plan for you is good. There are definitely blessings when living in obedience to the Lord.

Thus saith the LORD, Stand ye in the ways, and see, and ask for the old paths, where is the good way, and walk therein, and ye shall find rest for your souls. But they said, We will not walk therein.
Jeremiah 6:16

51 thoughts on “Back When There was Decency and Modesty

  1. “It used to be expected that women would be virgins on their wedding day, no matter their age.”
    Well guess what…feminists in my country call it an “obsession of the groom and groom’s family”.
    “Living together before marriage was a big no no. It would bring great shame and embarrassment on a family. If a couple were so bold to cohabitate, it was a big secret families didn’t want to let out of the bag.”
    Of course it was frowned up and it should be.In my country it is frowned upon but there are those “muh independence” feminists who encourage and promote such things.When their families question such improper behaviour,looks like they take pride in being “open-minded,modern and independent”.They feel proud to mock family values and having a boyfriend means that she is modern.
    “Women valued chastity, modesty, discretion, and being wives and mothers at home. ”
    These were some great women.I mean it has been like this for centuries.Men and women both were great and respectful in their own right and sphere.Women today talk of oppression like say,”husbands used to cheat on their wives!”.
    They think as if such men were not looked down upon as characterless and indecent by the men of the society.
    Such type of men were not respected anywhere.
    “Some say that America wasn’t founded upon biblical Christians and the Founders weren’t believers, but I believe they are wrong. No, not all were Christians but even the ones that weren’t Christians valued good morals and values that were in line with Scripture”
    Any sane person will value this.I am not a Christian but I came to know more about Christanity from saving yourself for marriage.I whole heartedly believe that it is the BEST way to do marriage..mot just right..but the best way.
    Who designed this!?
    He knows best…of course He does….God created us so he knows how men would feel if their wives are not virgins on the wedding night and how women would feel if husbands don’t cherish them and treasure them.
    He knows that girls attach emotions to sex and that is why He has COMMANDED people to stay virgins until marriage and then faithful to them…which basically means one partner for life.??
    I have read people comment that “virgin by choice” but that is just laugable because it is a command and not an option.
    Thank You So Much Mrs.Lori Alexander for preaching God’s word and guiding young people like me in the right path.??

  2. Great reply.
    But I’m praying you come to the saving knowledge of the truth
    of Jesus Christ, sinless sacrifice and risen Lord. Remember, we are also commanded to believe! ❤️

  3. Does this mean it’s wrong to go on dates with a man (if you are dating with the hope of marriage, of course)? Because when you date, you are out alone with a man.

  4. What are we to practically do if we don’t have a father or brother who can escort us and have to be independent (and in the workforce, etc.) because of our parents’ proddings? What do we do if God is our only Protector?

  5. “Sitcoms had twin beds so nothing immodest was implied even between ‘married characters’ on the show.”

    It perplexes me that shows used to insist upon this convention, which unlike other parts of this list doesn’t actually reflect Christian morality. Sex between married people is just as moral as abstinence from sex among the unmarried. Indeed, the Bible speaks frankly of sex, urging believers to “keep the marriage bed undefiled.”

  6. Dear Yash, my late husband had said to me that husbands who step out on their wives aren’t quite trusted by other men, especially when it comes to business. He said, the cheaters are okay to have a beer with, but that’s about as far as things go. Being that i’m not a man, i don’t know about the world of men, so i was surprised to learn this – too much feministic indoctrination over too many years, and still brushing it off.

    About a year later, saw what my husband has said, play out – was headed to the files, when i overheard my 2nd-level supervisor (at my old job) make a remark about a man who was a grade or two below him.

  7. Thank You So Much.
    I am kind of :saving knowledge” do you mean accepting a non-virgin even when I am a virgin.
    I mean like we are all made new in Christ and God forgives.?

  8. The sexual past is not any easy subject to breach, especially with women. They seem to know intuitively (often too late) that it lowers their value as prospective wives to men, as it should. Men will always have the choice not to marry. Women no longer seem motivated to deny single men the choice to still have sex. A woman’s past bad choices may severely effect her marriage prospects and happiness even in this day and age. Women were once the gate keepers of sex because men were the gate keepers of commitment, still are. After 50 years of women’s gate’ nearly swinging off the hinges men are starting to lock theirs down like they did in the past because it makes sense. Men have very real power here while women have obliviously thrown their power away. I see a standoff setting up on the dating scene. Neither side will win but smart men will fair better.

    Setting aside the morality for a moment, is it not sensible, rational for women to deny men sex until they have secured a binding commitment? Every civilized society, including pagans, instituted this throughout human history for obvious reasons! Likewise is it not sensible, rational for men, especially today, to deny commitment to women who didn’t bother to keep their gate closed? Marrying a woman with a sexual past has a terrible reputation. Contentiousness, sexlessness, unable to pair bond and quick to initiate divorce. Where’s the appeal here for a single man?

    To which did God give a hymen and why? We never hear anything about that anymore. See Deuteronomy 22:13-21. Why is God’s will of confronting women’s sin (not just men’s sin) being completely ignored even in our so called Churches? The reason is seen in our nature even in the garden of Eden. Adam didn’t confront Eve but rather was manipulated by her words, her will instead of God’s. See Genesis 3:17. Today we call it “chivalry”. The courts of 11th century France called it courtly love (Thanks Dalrock). God called it sin. I’m going to call it stupidly, especially on the part of men.

    I’ve never dated a woman who didn’t profess to be a Christian. Rarely have I dated a virgin even when I was dating girls who were 17 Years old back in the 1990’s. It’s difficult to meet a professing Christian woman who even seems repentant of her sexual past much less who has an understanding how to deal with it. Never mind the Dysfunctional legal system, women’s bad attitudes, desires to manipulate and control a man, debt problems etc.. Fundamentally marriage just doesn’t even make sense anymore for single men.

    Thanks for your blog.

  9. You already know about our fertility struggles…and I have great news on that end…hopefully the struggle aspect is coming to an end over the next few months as we got to the Root of the Problem (as the Catholic Church always suggests!) And the fact that it’s taken so long to get to the Root of the Problem was due to old fashioned Medical Negligence if not pure Malice…never rule out Malice when it comes to having children. Ask my mom about how the doctors advised her to abort me.

    Anyways…during these struggles one of the WORST things that has been said to me (besides ‘Why don’t you use a sperm donor?’) was ‘Don’t you have sex for enjoyment?’

    I was so insulted.

    Sex for Enjoyment—you can write a PHD thesis unpacking that B.S.

    First it was meant to imply I was frigid. Second it was meant to imply that I was focusing on having children and not my husband…which is absurd.

    Sex is for children and bonding. That’s it. It’s not for ‘enjoyment’ in the hedonistic sense.

    This was said to me, a married woman, but I can imagine that woman saying that to her non-married children which leads straight to one thing…Premarital sex and all of the above.

  10. Our culture sure has changed and it doesn’t resemble Biblical standards one bit. However, and maybe I’m lucky in people (meaning non-Christians) I have encountered, but I have to say, I have never felt mocked by my friends and acquaintances for my faith and choices. (At least not in my adult life, teenage years were horrid, peer pressure is real, haha.) When I share my life plans and expectations, I often hear something along the lines, oh, too bad you’re gonna squander all your talents on childbearing and staying at home; but I don’t think that’s mockery, it’s just a difference of opinion, and I don’t feel attacked for my choices when I hear this. I mean, there’s definitely a lot of sin in modern world and true Biblical Christians (not Christians in name only) are quite rare nowadays, however, this is still a Christian country, and the majority of Western world practices some type of Christianity. It’s certainly not the easiest time to be a Christian but generally people nowadays are all about choices, and in most cases, they’ll respect your choice even if they would not make it for themselves (unless they’re like really extreme leftists or feminists or something). And, hey, at least we are not being persecuted and martyred like Christians were in the past and still are in many parts of the world.

  11. Christine, if it were not for enjoyment, I don’t believe Song of Solomon in all it’s detail would have been included in the Bible. I believe God created it for man and wife to enjoy together, or He would not have made it pleasurable.

  12. It’s ok to date a man. Keep it in public and have him drive you home at a decent hour. Hanging out at your place or his place without parents or someone else there, should be a no no. Avoid parking and sitting in the car alone together in secluded places. Keep the dating relationship short. You should know if he is Mr. Right within a few months. If he is not decent and doesn’t want to marry, move on.

  13. Maybe because they were actors. Acting is fake after all and snuggling up to somebody else’s husband, even for a show, is certainly against Christian morality.

  14. Dear Embracing Reality, yep, all this skank going on…nobody wins, not men, not women, and certainly not the children. The media deceives women (which doesn’t take much effort – sad to say, women can be amazingly stupid) but the media is diabolically wise enough to deceive men.

  15. Hello Mrs.Sue.
    First of all I would want to express my sincere condolences and grief over the biggest loss of your life.
    I am extremely sorry to hear that.
    Thank God I came to see for replies and comments as you don’t get mail notifications.
    Even I did not know it.A person told me this in a YouTube comments section.The topic of discussion was about how it has been constantly shown in the media,social media and social engineering that women were oppressed and they wanted to right to vote,which they did not.They cared a lot for gender roles,so much so that when the state of Maschusetts polled the women of the state in 1896,almost 96% said that THEY DO NOT WANT THE VOTE.
    Our previous generations considered voting as an extremely important duty and not just a common chore like voting someone on America’s Got Talent.
    This guy also told me about Sullivan Ballou’s famous letter to his wife during the American Civil War.
    Thank You So Much for commenting and blessing me with your knowledge.?
    Have A Great Day ahead ma’am.

  16. I don’t think she was talking about virginity, Yash Yadav. There are other important aspects to Christianity besides that, including Jesus Christ’s saving Grace. (Nobody wants you to accept any woman you don’t want to.)

  17. “Ask my mom about how the doctors advised her to abort me.”
    Oh ma’am…that is a very horrifying thing to know.
    “Anyways…during these struggles one of the WORST things that has been said to me (besides ‘Why don’t you use a sperm donor?’) was ‘Don’t you have sex for enjoyment?’

    I was so insulted.”
    That is really so insulting.The modern times are so degenerate that people are “hooking up” and “going on with their lives next day”
    A man literally told me about his friends and how they go for a date and when they know that they do not have a connection after talking for a few hours,they have their drinks and hook up that night and then go on with their lives.
    I mean how low can people stoop.
    Seriously,the night I read this,it really messed my mind.How the world has gone from taking pride in saving the gift of your sexuality for your husband alone to this degenerate time.

  18. “Virgin by choice” is not laughable – it’s a reality. It takes a lot of courage to go against what society expects and what men want and choose to stay a virgin until marriage.
    Yes God has given us commandments but He doesn’t force us to follow them. He lets us choose. Being a virgin by choice is ideal.

  19. In that case rely on God, I would hope there would be some male authority that would watch over you. Sorry to hear.

  20. So you’ve been dating since the 90s but are against marriage? YOU are part of the problem!
    You take what you want from women then discard them like trash without a commitment.
    Women are programmed by God to want men and many women are naive, mistakenly thinking that if they give the man what he wants, he will give her what she wants. I’ve lost count of how many men I know who dump their girlfriend because she won’t “put out” for him.
    If men want to marry virgins, they need to stop expecting pre-marital sex. But they won’t, will they? Because there will always be women willing to give it, so men will always take it. And then expect to marry a virgin.

  21. Why would sex not be for enjoyment and furthermore primarily for enjoyment? Is it offensive to you that this enjoyment also happens to lead to having children?

    This kind of attitude among some women is exactly why so many young men are choosing not to even bother with marriage. Women turning it into one great big chore for men. If wives cannot be sexually generous and frequently available (see 1 Corinthians 7) men aren’t going to bother with marriage.

    Thanks for the heads up warning. Dually noted!

  22. Honestly, dating isn’t a biblical concept but I think we’re stuck with it for now. Women wanted independence and now have it. Independence is both a privilege and a burden. Meet men in public spaces for dates for awhile. Meet with other couples. Build trust first.

  23. Scripture is very clear that sex is about pleasure and enjoyment…. with our spouse.

    Proverbs 5:18-19 is an instruction from a father to a son to enjoy his wife and delight in her.

    1 Corinthians 7:3-4 tells us that we wives have authority over our husbands bodies, just as they have authority over ours. We have a God-given obligation to sexually satisfy each other.

    In Genesis we are told to leave behind our parents and be “one flesh” with our spouse.

    Why would you limit the great gift that God gave us to just procreation and bonding? It goes so much further than that. God made us sexual beings and He gave us a spouse to satisfy us.

  24. Not all cultures are the same and the way I am describing isn’t necessarily the only way or even the best way but I believe it is proper , right, and good…
    If a young man is attracted to a young woman he should seek God’s will in the matter through prayer and counsel. If he feels this might be the girl for him he would ask her if she would be interested in pursuing a special friendship with him. The girl then may also take her time to pray about it and seek counsel. If she replies in the affirmative then the young couple should spend good quality time together with the hope of marriage ahead. They can spend time together reading the Bible and discussing the Scriptures. Discuss your viewpoints, values, convictions, etc. on anything from faith to finances to roles in marriage and child training. If you sometime feel that God is telling you that this isn’t the right one for you ,back off and take a break or break off the relationship. The man should establish high Godly standards as to how they spend their time together with the lady from the beginning, be accountable to a Christian brother, and take the lead in all aspects including prayer, devotions, and Lord Willing the marriage proposal. The young lady likewise could be accountable to a Christian woman.

  25. Dear Yash, thank you for your kind words – was almost two years ago; husband is still in my dreams and they’re so real. You brought up an interesting topic about voting that jogged my memory. Back in the old days, voting day was big doings, everyone came out to sing songs, and eat pie. The men voted and the women brought their goodies and socialized while the children played. Read this somewhere, but don’t know where.

  26. If men don’t want to bother with marriage then they also shouldn’t bother with sex at all either if they’re not going to be married. At least I hope that’s what you’re saying if you’re trying to remain Biblical. If you expect to marry a virgin (like you bemoan in the previous comment above) I certainly hope young men are keeping themselves to the standards of chastity laid out for everyone, not just women. Like KAK said above, you cannot expect to marry a virgin while deciding you don’t want to be the gait keeper to sex.

  27. Dear KAK, happened to me. Was 17 when i got dumped after dating two months. Wouldn’t put out…oh, no way. Back then you needed parental permission to go on the pill, and that wasn’t happening. There was a girl in my 10th grade class whose mom let her go on the pill. By the time she was a senior, that pill bloated her out – she must have gained 30 pounds.

  28. It happened to me, too. Disgusting, isn’t it? If we wanted to keep our boyfriends, we had to give them our virginity, but they had no intention of actually committing to us for life. Then a few years later, those same men look down on women who gave away their virginity in order to keep their boyfriends.

    Interestingly, for all the bad rap “bad boys” get on here, it was my “bad boy” then-boyfriend (now my husband of 18 years) who was the first one to not pressure me for sex. He was the only one who actually respected my desire to keep my virginity for my husband.

  29. Sex for Enjoyment is the Rallying Cry of the 20th Century Non-Christian Liberal

    The phrase ‘Sex for Enjoyment’ is not the same as ‘Sex Happens to Be Enjoyable’

    And y’all know that and y’all know the difference between the two sentences

    At different points in life, sex won’t be enjoyable for a variety of reasons…but if you want kids and want to keep that bond up and re-establish your libido you gotta grit your teeth and power through it.

    Welcome to a not-so-talked about reality.

  30. Oh..I am sorry…I must have mistaken then.
    Yeah put the point of emphasis should being able to find a virgin.

  31. Your reply is more laughable.
    Command means by force!
    Have you ever seen a superior in army/work politety command to do xyz thing!
    This thought is no different than modern women saying that
    “Oh submission is going to look different in every marriage”/”Oh I am more of a leader and he is more of a follower”/”Ok..I’ll try it as he how submission works for me” if God is waiting patiently to let you choose.
    Point is that pastors have to be resilent and stern and strict with what God says.
    The loosening control is one factor for such degenerate social fabric of the West.

  32. Yes ma’am.
    Your love is so intense for him,I can feel it from the way you write so passionately about him.We rarely get to see such devotion in today’s time.I am sure you would have made his life a lot much better when he was here.?
    Thank You So Much for this piece of information again.I did not know this.
    What a great time it would have been,a century ago between husbands and wives.Their dynamic and relationship is a lot to learn from.?
    Have a wonderful day ahead ma’am.?

  33. We prefer the term courting and always send a chaperone that you trust to have the young woman’s or man’s virtue at heart.

  34. If they demand your virginity demand a wedding up front or drop them as “boy friends” how weird that you blame those boys for girls giving them what would be illegal for them to take. You are under no obligation to give them your virginity girls do that all by them selves. IF a boy wants your virginity to stay together why would you want to stay together?

  35. Like a previous poster said. Women have always been the gate keeper of sex… It is up to them to say NO or YES. And men are the gate keepers to commitment. So now you want men to be both?

  36. So teach young women and girls to not put out.And if he insists,he is clearly not the one for her…how much ever safe,secure she feels and how much ever charming,handsome,wise he is.
    Nothing is wiser than staying virgins until your wedding when it comes to match-making…so yeah!

  37. Yash, please remember God gave us free will. He wants us to choose to follow Him, He will not force us. It will be the same in your marriage. You may, depending on where you live, be able to force your wife to obey you, but do not kid yourself, obedience is not submission and you cannot force that. Leave room for God to do His work, it is not our place to force His will on anyone.

  38. I think you may be missing my point a bit or I’m not being clear. My friend Christine above tries to make the case that a *husband* should essentially except a nearly celibate *marriage*. Why bother?

    Most men don’t want that. Not at all.

    Me? Sure I’ve made some mistakes with a few single Christian women I’ve dated when I was younger. I’m on the straight and narrow path now. Why? How relevant is that here however? Did I have a hymen I didn’t know about?

    Are there any men who in exchange for access to their sexuality or even virginity expecting women to pursue them for marriage, for that reason? Women offering to, in a marriage, provide protection, financial security, take care of a home etc – for a man? Lol

    I think you may be confusing sexual sin, a spiritual matter, with simple, stupid, naturally bad choices on the part of women. Sexual desire compels men to marry. God’s design(see Gen 2:24, Mark 10, 1 Cor 7). If a woman throws that away when she’s young, single and as attractive as she’s ever likely to be to a man for marriage what is she offering a husband now? What does she have to trade? Pleasant companionship? Companionship isn’t biblically why men marry neither is it restricted to marriage. Sex is… Children? Doesn’t that happen as a result of sex?

    Meanwhile everyone who is honest knows there are many men, especially alphas, even ones raised in church who sleep around until they finally marry a virgin. She is usually significantly younger than him as well. Why? Because women let them! Men know this.

    It’s not complicated. Women are their own worst enemies. They shoot their own foot off then expect a man to give them his foot. Feminism, Men are wising up To it fast now.

  39. In God’s design there is no sex outside of marriage. Sex/marriage was intended to be pleasurable. There is no scripture to the contrary.

    Otherwise you’re just making the case for MGTOW. Because what you’re describing is not what men want. Maybe at this point it’s Become so dysfunctional single men just shouldn’t even bother. Marriage doesn’t seem to make women happy anymore either.

  40. God does not force us to do anything. Neither does He want us forced to obey Him.
    You said previously you are not a Christian so maybe that explains why you don’t understand this simple concept. The entirety of serving God is that it is a choice.

  41. Joe – I think you’ll find that is exactly what those of us who were virgins on our wedding day, did!
    My comment was directed to the man above lamenting the fact that he can’t find a virgin wife and speaking out against marriage, but has been dating since the 90s.
    If men want to marry virgins, they will need to stop corrupting them before marriage and expecting sex before a lifetime commitment.
    It goes both ways here.
    Yes women need to keep on refusing. But if men don’t want to marry used women, they need to stop using women.

  42. Yes we want men to stop using women and then bemoan not being able to marry a virgin – absolutely!!
    In case you hadn’t noticed, it’s not women bemoaning the lack of virgin men. My husband wasn’t a virgin. I didn’t care. Some women might, but I didn’t.
    Men are the ones wanting to marry virgins. Men are also the ones who put immense effort into defiling virgins without offering marriage. Hypocrisy much?
    If a man is not a virgin, he has no right to expect to marry one.
    And yes, he has every right to expect satisfying sex from his wife on a regular basis, within the sanctity of marriage.
    Society has fallen so far that people can’t see this simple truth.

  43. Against marriage? uhm, No. I’m against marriage to women who slept around when they were single and then withhold sex from their husbands. I’m also against manipulating controlling wives who casually divorce. All of which is the reputation of the modern woman including women who attend church. Incidentally I’m also against poor reading comprehension.

    Me? I dated as a virgin in the 90’s in a church full of women who would qualify as harlots by biblical standards. I couldn’t meet virgins, at church, who we’re nearly 10 years younger than me. As for my sex, if you really need to know, I eventually messed up dating older, x-tian harlots, that I made the mistake of trusting. The immoral woman the Bible warns men about goes to church. What does my business have to do with women, who have the hymen, failing to do their job?

    Yep, alpha will break a lot of cherries and then marry a virgin. Why? Because women will LET HIM. I think women know who’s to blame for all of this. Never going to own it.

    Proverbs 30:20

    “This is the way of the immoral woman: she eats and wipes her mouth and says ‘I have done nothing wrong’.

  44. I haven’t had unenjoyable sex yet in 18 years of marriage.
    I’ve also had a tubal ligation so won’t be having any more children. If sex purely for enjoyment was sinful, as you’re suggesting, my husband and I would have to remain celibate.
    Why on earth would we do that? God commanded us to be one flesh – enjoy each others bodies. Why else would He have given women a clitoris?
    Sex simply for pleasure is great!

  45. Umm, I’m sorry, Embracing Reality, I think you’re missing Christine’s point. I disagree with her that sex is not meant for enjoyment but it she certainly has a point when she says it is not ONLY meant for that (despite what the culture nowadays often tells us) but also for bonding and children. Also, you can tell from her comment that she’s devoting a lot of her time to her husband in that area, and is clearly not advocating for an essentially sexless marriage as you try to imply. Even if you cannot have children (anymore) and even if you accept the premise that sex is not for enjoyment (which I, as I said, disagree with to a certain extent), there’s still an element bonding there, so sex would still be allowed even if, say, a woman were to go through “the change” already.

    And might I add, and I know this is cherry picking your comment, but the fact that you didn’t have a hymen does not make your sexual transgressions in the past any lesser – God created sex for marriage, and this applies to men and women. A sin is a sin, men should take responsibility for their own sins as well, and not blame them on “women letting them do that”. A real man takes responsibility for his own actions. And in fact, many women nowadays are able to provide some sort of protection and financial stability or at least contribute to it, and that is exactly what is wrong with the world today – men are starting to expect that when they decide for marriage.

  46. Thank you for saying this. As Christian’s we need to make marriages great again! Marriage great again. It needs to be sold. And sexless, financial commitment won’t sell it! Neither men nor women want it as much because its sound dry and burdensome. A Christian marriage should be a happy place where you are secure in pleasure and grace! Give God a loving and affectionate relationship to bless.

  47. Ana, completely agree that sexual sin or any sin is a spiritual matter. The fact that only women have a hymen is not a spiritual matter. A woman, no matter how promiscuous, only gives birth to her children. It’s simple physics. The child physically exists the woman’s womb. Now who is the father?

    For excruciatingly obvious reasons female chastity will always have a premium to men while male chastity is not worth much to women. Biology, Paternity, simple physics.

    I’m not trying to trade access to my secure uterus for some woman to provide security and financially for me.. For the rest of my life… It’s women with significant even spectacularly compromised sexual history that are asking me to pay a premium. Financially, I’m golden. Now what does she’ habe to trade me?

    Men expecting prospective wives to offer financial contributing? Of course! What else do single women in their mid 30’s 40’s offer for marriage that might be appealing? Extensive sexual experience? Youth? Physical fitness? Men are searching for reasons and coming up with nothing.

    I’m trying to help women understand what they seem to have forgotten. Even godless heathen don’t want to be tricked into raising other men’s children.

  48. —KaK– studies show that 80% of women are throwing them selves at the top 20% of men. So asking men to control them selves seems a bit odd. Bc it is the average Christian man that has to settle for a non virgin woman after they have sacrificed their purity to some one else. Yes I think both men and women should exercise self control how ever the data shows it is women whom have debased them selves to such a degree.

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