Feminism Has Demeaned and Trivialized Women’s Traditional Work

Feminism Has Demeaned and Trivialized Women’s Traditional Work

Many women falsely believe that if they serve their husbands, they are doormats. One woman wrote me recently and told me that she has never picked up after her husband because she didn’t want to be a “doormat.” She has equated serving her husband with being a doormat. One woman on my Instagram wrote the following:

“Women think they are being a ‘doormat’ for doing domestic tasks because for the last half a century, feminism has consistently demeaned and trivialized women’s traditional work to the point where many women won’t even consider it and even turn their noses up at it. I personally think that women need to reclaim this very important work of caring and nurturing and that if we did, over time the family unit could be restored, divorce and abortion would decline, and God would be restored as the center of the family.”

Women, we were created to be their husband’s help meet! They were created to pick up after him and serve him; make his life easier. I have never once heard a man complain that he was a doormat because he had to go to work every day and work hard for his family, yet women often complain. They seem to have more of a predisposition to complain and be unhappy. It’s probably why divorces are initiated by women up to 80 percent of the time. Women contemplate their “feelings” more than men and if they’re not happy in their marriage, they want to do something about it and it usually doesn’t involve changing themselves but their circumstances instead.

God tells us that the greatest of all is the servant of all. As we serve our husbands, we are serving Christ. When we pick up after them, we are picking up after Christ. Whatever we do, we are to do heartily as unto the Lord. The Apostle Paul wrote: “For though I be free from all men, yet have I made myself a servant unto all, that I might gain the more” (1 Corinthians 9:19).

As we serve others, we are ministering the Gospel to them. This world needs more servants, not less. It needs more wives willing to lovingly serve their husbands and families. When they are doing this, they are sharing the Gospel through their actions. Learn to love caring for your family and others. This is the ministry that the Lord has given to you, and it is good.

Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.
1 Peter 3:1,2

13 thoughts on “Feminism Has Demeaned and Trivialized Women’s Traditional Work

  1. I watched the footage of secret service ushering Trump out of the Press Briefing Room.
    It was a perfect example of submission to authority. One of the most powerful men in the world was instructed to follow orders. And he responded immediately, without question. Would people say Trump is a doormat? I don’t think so. He is a command man through and through. Even he has to take orders.

  2. Its a sad thing to see in society. A christian wife knows once she is married she becomes her husband’s help meet. She glorifies God by submitting to her husband in everything as the church does to Christ. Marriage roles are beautiful not demeaning, we have to look at glorifying God at all times.

  3. It is very sad to see what feminism has done to women and society’s thinking now. Lori speaks often about us “remnants” who still believe in and practice biblical womanhood. We need to remain gentle, but exhibit very strong will, constitution and dedication to submitting to and obeying our husbands in everything so we can continue to show a great example of God’s true plan for women and his Word we should be following (and it is a beautiful plan), not society’s and surely not feminism. It is very frustrating how even other women’s perceptions have shifted over time. When I got married and had my first baby at 19 I was a cute little “barefoot and pregnant” stay at home mommy, and now 24 years later some people think I’m a lazy housewife that’s never had a job or an education. My how things have changed!

  4. When I worked, I realized that I would rather be home doing laundry. So today, I enjoy folding clothes outside with the birds and butterflies, squirrels scampering by on the phone lines, and listening to little children playing next door, under the big blue sky. I’m the one living in a storybook! Laundry is much more enjoyable than my job ever was!

  5. I don’t think women contemplating their feelings is a bad thing. I contemplate mine. Ask myself what am I really upset about. Address the issue either with the person, or with God in prayer and Bible study. Then align my feelings with God’s truth and move on. I think it would be a huge help if men were taught to do the same. So many men are trapped in sinful behaviors because they are taught not to feel and address their emotions. So many women need to be taught that their feelings are just that, feelings and they are not always true.
    And I pick up after my husband because I like a clean and orderly house. He enjoys it too. A pastor once told me God gave me the eyes to see what needs done within the home and not my husband. He also said if God gave me the eyes to see it then he also gives me the responsibility to get it done.

  6. I couldn’t agree more!! I used to have fantasies of homemaking when I worked as an office manager!! I couldn’t wait to go home and I haven’t been disappointed after 20 yrs. at home. More importantly, our marriage was improved dramatically when I came home full-time. I couldn’t serve 2 masters. I’d much rather serve the one God intended me to- my wonderful husband!

  7. One way I combat that attitude of other women looking down on me for staying home with my kids is to be proud of it. I honestly think a lot of women are jealous somewhere inside that makes them so provoked by the lifestlye of a stay-at-home mom. If we were as proud of our lifestyle as the ones who are accusing us struggling in the workforce and (possibly forsaking children and a husband) the shamers might just be surprised and shocked. They want women like us to be shamed, but the attitude I have is that I refuse. I believe that I already have it all. If another person tried to shame me for not having a career my response would be something along these lines, “No, I don’t work. My husband provides everything I need, and I like it that way. I do have it all, a stable income, a wonderful husband, happy children, an awesome relationship with my creator and I’m stress FREE. I don’t have to submit to a stranger that I call my boss. I don’t have to come home exhausted and give my dearest loved ones the leftover scraps of my time, affection and energy. I’m not pulling my hair out stressed from trying to have-it-all ‘feminist’ style. My kids don’t have to sit through indoctrination sessions in what we call school. Yup, thats right, I don’t work and I love it.”

    I’m not bashing anyone who does have to work, I did the first year of our marriage. But I didn’t sit there trying to belittle and shame stay at home moms or submissive wives, like we so often see in our culture today. So, I think we should have a good godly pride in our lifestyle and refuse the shame anyone would try to put on us.

  8. I think today’s women view their traditional role as being a doormat because today’s society views relationships as equal partnerships.

  9. I agree with you Lindsay, I think jealousy plays a big part of it. I am very proud of our lifestyle as it is the only one I have ever known. When someone asks me what I do for a living I just say, “Oh I’ve never worked, my husband takes care of me and I love it.” Then I prepare for the questions…..Doesn’t bother me at all, and I say that because people (mostly other women) are going to think what they want to anyway. I never try to defend myself in a working mom vs. stay at home mom battle because I’ve never been a working mom/wife and I simply don’t care. You said it perfectly – I do have it all! I try not to get into arguments about working wives (I’m 43 and my kids are grown!) – to each his own – I try be quiet and as humble as possible, but sometimes that just doesn’t work!

  10. You’re a HERO in my EYES! I haven’t been on the blog lately, but it is so wonderful to hear other wives wisdom.

    I have been told I think this is the 50’s and my favorite comment, “I like to have my own money.” Ironically, my dad helped me buy my first property at 21 and when I met my husband we actually sold it (his recommendation after he sat me down and had me write out all of my debt and we made a very great return, my husband is a genius and has truly refined me as a “young lady” he calls me that sometimes lol we are a few months apart lol) and purchased MORE real estate through our family company, which is my husband’s last name OF COURSE (these HYPHENS ARE RUINING MARRIAGES). He is also in the military and such a hard working man, and I take care of our home and I am proud of MYSELF! My husband is PROUD OF ME! He woke up at 3 AM last week and said, “Thank you for all you do for us baby!” We have two sons under 2!! 🙂 But like I tell people, my MAIN FOCUS is MY FAMILY! You can try to pretend like me enjoying serving my family is MY problem, but it is REALLY THEIRS! Why are THEY so angry?? Because once you get into the world and think independence is a goal you DEVALUE YOUR ROLE AS A WOMAN! I can truly say my family cherishes me so deeply, and it is because I make sure they have everything they need and I am surprised how in return I have time for myself…and I use that to write, sleep, do my own nails, wash my hair, clean, or handle any pressing business matters (in no particular order lol–2 under 2).

    I try to tell young women to read Lori’s blog if you don’t believe me hear other wives who have walked a similar path and I have noticed over the years the married women with children LOOK way BETTER and HEALTHIER than this independent woman with FAKE everything, but people are waking up…thank you for serving your family! I am delighted to build a BIG HEALTHY GOD FEARING FAMILY.

  11. Personally, I am a work out of the home gal, raised a family working, not easy but doable if I must. While I certainly keep my opinions to myself, one thing that gives stay home moms a bad rap is when they are lazy. Before you jump down my throat I know some who do it well, in fact very well, I respect them greatly. On the other hand, I know some who are home all the time with no unusual circumstances, and the home has a path through it, dirty, unkept and laundry rolling out the door. It exasperates me to no end. And now their married daughters are stay at home wives and mothers and since they didn’t learn good habits from mom, they are doing the same thing. If I can keep a home clean, put a meal on the table every night, keep up with my laundry, yard, garden and can, while working 40 hours a week, what is their excuse? I don’t think my questioning that to myself makes me bitter. I shake my head.

  12. Hi El! Sounds like you have a wonderful husband and you are an awesome supportive and obedient wife and are well taken care of, just like it should be! Don’t worry about the “independent feminists” out there. I am totally and completely dependent on my husband and wouldn’t have it any other way!!!! I love you having 2 under 2!! My husband got me pregnant on our honeymoon at 19 and we had 3 under 3 before I turned 23! My husband wanted to keep me pregnant until I was 30, which was great with me, but unfortunately, medical reasons kept that from happening. Now that my boys are grown (and I’m still relatively “young”) I have quite a bit of free time but will never spend any of it working I can assure you! People can say and think what they want, doesn’t bother me a bit! Also, your husband, you and your family are true HEROES for protecting us all and our country!!!!

  13. “…women contemplate their “feelings” more than men and if they’re not happy in their marriage, they want to do something about it and it usually doesn’t involve changing themselves but their circumstances instead…”

    utterly profound!!! I have just realised that I’ve been trying to do the same with my own situation; I am 19 and single, still living at home, and I have struggled for the longest time with wanting to leave home and get a paid job/teach children… I feel that I am no use to my family here, my mum is a full-time SAHM and I feel that every time I try to “house keep” I simply get in her way… I am eager to make use of my youth and do something meaningful with my life, but I have no idea what step to take next… My family lives a very isolated lifestyle in the country, where there is no nearby church, and my options of serving others here are very limited… Lori would you have any advice or tips to give?
    Do you think it’s rebellious to seek a job outside of the home as a single young woman?
    How can I best make use of my time? Should I be preparing to get a job, or be a wife? (and what happens if I invest all this time into learning to be a housewife, and I don’t get married?)
    Anyways, thank you for your time!

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