Fertility Isn’t Forever

Fertility Isn’t Forever

Written By Karissa Collins

Fertility isn’t forever…

Many people look at my large family of almost ten and their minds are screaming…”NO THANK YOU.” I get it. I recently encountered a pregnancy announcement for baby number 16. My mind screamed..”IS THIS EVEN POSSIBLE?” It looks scary. It looks impossible. It doesn’t look like much fun.

But I am here to tell you that this life is not our own. This body is not our own. And who are we really living for?

The reality is that God only gives one (maybe three) babies at a time (naturally that is). There is a ten month preparation time. And our fertility isn’t forever. God opens and closes our wombs. Menopause does happen. And when it does, we miss what we don’t have (I’m sure Sarah went through this phase, yet God still opened her womb at an old age).

God might decide to give you one baby and he might decide to give you twenty. We just never know what He has planned or has in store for us. If we don’t trust Him to decide, we will never know. We do have a choice. A choice to live life in our own hands or to trust Him.

The more grandparents I run into, the more I hear this phrase. “If only we knew what we know now, we wouldn’t have ever stopped having children.” One day they will all be gone. One day we will be passed our fertile years. Fertility doesn’t last forever. Just because you trust God with your family size doesn’t mean you will be exploding at the seams. Although I will say that it is a lot more fun than it looks. It is very rewarding and a lot easier than you can imagine. No, it isn’t easy. No matter how many children you have, it isn’t easy. It will always require sacrifice and heartache. But the rewards of raising God loving and God-serving disciples for Christ is limitless. It is simply eternal.

We can simply live for the culture. By their rules. By their limitations. By their standards. Or we can live by God’s. We can live for God. In His best. In His timing. And in His supernaturally possible.

What an honor it is to use our bodies as a vessel to bring forth life God creates. To know that the baby inside of us is fearfully and wonderfully made. That this baby has a plan and a purpose. An eternal plan. A greater plan than we can ever give them. That this isn’t our children, but rather God’s and we get to be a part of God’s greater plan. We get to be the vessel He uses.

As women, our bodies were made for this. He chose us to procreate. He created us to bring forth life. He created us fertile with hearts of mothers. Let’s start celebrating the short-lived years of fertility and trusting God to give as He pleases. Because no matter what, every single addition is of great blessing.

Proverbs 3:5,6
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”

Psalm 9:10
“And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you.”

Jeremiah 17:7,8
“But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in Him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.”

28 thoughts on “Fertility Isn’t Forever

  1. Yes to this! My husband and I learned the hard way that what the Bible says is true, children are a blessing. What other blessings do Christians want to regulate? I never hear of Christians saying, “we’re choosing to wait to make money and will limit our income to under $50,000 to be “good stewards” of God’s gifts.”

    Our children are young still but we tell them that all children are a blessing and we will make sure they understand when they give themselves to Jesus, they give their whole selves and relinquish control to God.

  2. Amen children are always a blessing! Can we compare people that have kids that don’t have kids…..kids just makes you grow in every area. Nothing like raising the next generation…..God’s army :).

  3. Her children are beautiful! They look like mine as we are a mixed race couple too! Anyway, I wish the Lord had blessed us with many more children because I didn’t learn about letting God plan our family size until I was 42 and I had a hysterectomy.

    Guard your wombs ladies! That’s all I can say.

  4. It is sad that it is even remarkably that a Christian family should trust in God to plan their family.

    It is also sad that the sin of contraception has become so ubiquitous that many do not even realise that it is a sin, or are prepared to excuse it.

  5. The average size of American school classrooms are 23.1 children; granted, being a teacher and a parent do have stark differences, but teachers are an example that with structure and focus, you can handle more children than you think.

  6. Sadly, there are families like mine, who have serious genetic disorders. In my case, there is a 50% chance of passing it on. We have two fabulous kids, one with it, one without. It has caused our daughter many difficulties. We had to choose not to have any more. And NOT from lack of faith that has been suggested. Just another aspect some families face, when they decide to limit the number of children.

  7. I just want to say thank you for this post. My husband and I have 4 children, our youngest just turned 3 this month and we found out this week, we are expecting. We are happy and truly blessed. Many of our family members were thrown off saying we have so many already. I mean it made me think oh my at first but then I know God is directing me no one else.

  8. 1 Timothy 2:15 But women will be saved through childbearing–if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety.

  9. Evie,
    Our family is also in the same boat. In our situation, there is also a 50% chance of passing it on, and we have 2 kids, one without the disorder, and one with. We were pregnant with our child who does not have the disorder before our son was diagnosed. Our son, who has the disorder, needs lifelong care and will eventually have to go to a care home when we are too old or physically unable to care for him ourselves. At 6 years old, he still needs the level of care that an infant needs. Knowing that I could have several children with the same severe disorder (50% of my eggs have a genetic mutation) we chose not to have any more, and not from lack of faith (we are actively practicing Christians who strive to live our lives as Biblically as we can) but from the reality, heartbreak, and grief that stemmed from our situation of having a severely disabled child. If I was not a carrier of a disorder, I would have joyfully had more. But we DO use contraception, as we have a grave situation here. Thank you for bringing this situation to light, Evie. It’s a reality that some are facing.

  10. As the oldest of eighteen children, raised by the same loving mother and father, I am certainly happy that my parents ignored conventional wisdom. We were poor growing up, but the riches of growing up in a church where no one practiced birth control, and the happy and joyful relationships were all the riches any human can ever hope to have in childhood.

    Tragically, our society believes in the myth that money is worth more than life, and so tens of millions of lives are snuffed out via abortion, porn, masturbation, and contraception. As the family is destroyed, the nation grows weaker. The day is coming, when our invaders come, they won’t have to fight very hard to conquer us, because we Americans have already wiped out 200 million via abortion and contraception.

    And when there is a need for manpower, and there is no one to fill that need, we will have our own selfish habits to thank for it.

    A large part of the reason why I’m single is because I refuse to consider a woman who believes in birth control for marriage. Worse, 80% of the women who are marriageable in our society, are pursuing the 20% of the men who are wealthy and powerful for marriage. These men are often selfish and narcissistic, and the women are often discarded and replaced for shinier versions. The women often complain and become emotionally distraught, but what are they concerned about? They knew what they were getting into when they got married. When a man doesn’t want to have children in marriage, he’s desiring a masturbation substitute, and he will tire quickly of it.

    We live in a very sick society, and unfortunately, women control 60% of the wealth in our nation. The growing power of women comes at the expense of wisdom, virtue, and powerful men, and as a result our society is degrading alarmingly rapidly.

    Also, as if it’s not bad enough women don’t want to marry and have children, what do they do with their time? Many are feminists, and get involved in politics or in activist causes where their emotions trick them into supporting ideas that are disastrous for themselves and societies longterm. Witness that 70% of single women vote Democrat, and the majority of married women do too. The Democrat party is pure communist, and hates Christianity, yet millions of ‘Christian’ women vote Democrat.

    Of course, men have their issues too, and we need to ban porn. Porn is the dog bone that feminists give men to keep them quiet as they are being enslaved. Think about how horrific it is for some women to back pornography, which is the sale of their own sisters in womanhood into a brutal and vicious slavery, for the purpose of gaining power and money for themselves. Witness, pornography was completely illegal in America before 1940, and our families were amazingly well adjusted, healthy, happy, and we didn’t have the poverty rates we have today. How is it that we had happier, healthier, and wealthier families back then then today? It’s because they had virtue, and relied upon the guidance of Godly men and the Bible to lead the nation. We cannot go back to that pattern fast enough.

    The author of this article is a very wise woman, and hopefully more women follow her lead.

    I’m currently in Las Vegas, for my 17th brothers High School Graduation. What did I see? I saw 12 Valedictorians, and what genders were they? 10 were girls and 2 were boys. And only the girls gave speeches. So, we have a generation of boys that will always be under achievers until they leave the pornography, which is easy to determine as being the contributing factor to the weakening and dumbing down of men. When fewer than 2% of our children in 1920 were viewing pornography, and 100% of 18 year olds today have seen it, we have a serious problem. The deliberate hollowing out of men, and the subsequent coaching of young women to spurn and disdain motherhood and having as many children as possible, and to admire, pursue, and enthusiastically welcome college and jobs is destroying our nation. The young womens best years are being wasted in promiscuity, and it is only when it is too late that they awake to the fact that they can no longer have children, that their biological time clock has run out, that many realize society has fed them a big lie with the media and schools all their lives. This leads to depression, misery, and anxiety, and the three of these are at all time record highs in America today.

    There is redemption and healing that can be found in Christ, but America has to repent quickly, while the time for doing so is still at hand. It is possible to reject repentance, and the day of no return then comes. Woe to America if that day should come.

    It was disheartening to see at least 10,000 people, with many voluptuous young women, dressed to attract a mate, and to realize that the entire design of their beauty was a happening, childbirth in marriage, that 95% of those young women would be appalled and indignant to consider.

    As a young man it is a continual source of intense discouragement, vexation, and sorrow to realize the very biological desires God planted in me cannot be pursued, lest it mean the destruction of my soul. For to marry a rebellious and contentious woman is to court misery and despair for a great while, and perhaps the rest of ones life.

    To know that though God’s design was two are better than one, it is not good for a man to be alone, and that if a man finds a wife, he finds a good thing, the reality is that avoiding an entangling marriage with a woman who does not love God and his ways, is wise and prudent.

    ‘My people are destroyed for a lack of knowledge’
    Hosea 4:6

  11. Montesquieu, I know/have known lots of Godly young women who would like nothing better than to marry a strong Christian. I think you should find some easily if you look in the right places. Michael and Debbie Pearl recently spoke about this and even mentioned that there is a glut of young women still waiting for their Prince Charming because their fathers’ were too strict to start with and scared all the potential suitors away before they could even consider the girls. Now the young women are still available and the fathers would only be too happy to let an interested Christian man marry them.

  12. Montesquieu – I wish you good fortune in finding a Godly wife.

    Every Christian man should absolutely insist as a fundamental precept of marriage that his potential wife utterly reject the use of contraception.

  13. That’s wonderful, M.

    Would be nice if they were in California. Won’t be leaving my city at all, unless it’s for Christianity, or Christian-based politics.

    Would be great to run across one of those young women.

    I don’t attend church, and am looking for a biblical one, as I cannot find one that actually teaches as the New Testament did, or even, for that matter, as the Protestant Church in early America of 1776 did. Kind of scary how far things have deteriorated.

    Thank you for that.

  14. What is your opinion on donor eggs and sperm? I know of a family whose daughter was born without ovaries, and therefore can’t produce them. Adoption in Australia is nigh on impossible.

  15. Why thank you, Susanne,

    Meanwhile, It is very enjoyable to recognize that there are Godly married women engaged in having and raising children in marriage.

    Yes, you are very correct, and our nation, church, and world would be fantastically improved if every Christian man would insist that his potential wife would reject contraception utterly, in all of it’s forms before marriage. What a miserable predicament it must be, to be a man in a marriage, and to be pleading with your wife to have more children. And vice versa is pretty common too, perhaps even more common, as many married women want more children and their husbands are too selfish to accommodate them.

  16. My heart breaks for you both. Thank you for sharing. Those children have wonderful parents that love and care for them. Blessings to you both!

  17. Embryo adoption is a wonderful option for Christians waiting children who cannot have their own.

  18. It hurts me so much to see that there are people who are so blind to the real world that they actually think this is right.

  19. We don’t use birth control and have just 5 children, our youngest being 10. We always expected and wanted more children, so it goes both ways. Sometimes God gives you a bunch, sometimes little. Either way, we have peace because God is in control.
    P.S. People are our most valuable resource.

  20. Montesquieu,

    If finding a godly woman to marry is your desire, you may want to consider moving to a more conservative area of the country.
    I work part-time in a preschool, a ministry of our church, and we always have numerous family expecting and welcoming babies all throughout the school year-many their 3rd or 4th.

  21. Rachel – you have expressed it perfectly. The important thing and the point which as Christian women we need to understand is that God opens and closes the womb. We must submit ourselves to him and above all accept the gift of life in our womb and welcome as many children as he gives us.

  22. What a blessing. Our second child is due in December of 2019, maybe on my husband’s birthday. After our first it was family members who said, “have one and be done, children are expensive.” Children are a gift, and I am learning to tune out unholy counsel. Relish in your beautiful growing family. Xo

  23. I am not going to be mean but sometimes birth control might be wise. God gives and helps yes but you also need to think can we possibly afford it. Children cost and coming from a family with messed up dynamics I can remember being blamed for financial issues or problems happening. If you cannot afford another child as you already are struggling to raise the one(s) you already have. Help is hard to get sometimes and just because you can does not mean you should.

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