God Doesn’t Conform to the Culture of Our Time
Lisa told me I hate women. I am told this often as I have recently shared. She believes that teaching biblical womanhood is hateful. She then wrote this on one of my posts: “You’re entitled to your beliefs and I am entitled to mine. Your teaching doesn’t correspond at all to what I was taught in the Baptist church I grew up in, but I’ll respect it.”
A woman named Kristyn responded to her:
I used to think like you. (If this is not how you think I’m sorry. I’m not trying to offend, just reading in between lines from your comment at the top about hating Lori.)
I’m saddened for you. I needed a career to consider myself successful. I needed to put my kids in daycare all day because I needed to climb the ladder. I needed to call the shots in my household. Yet, I never found the satisfaction I was looking for. I needed more, more, more. But yet, more never satisfied. I would ignore the Proverbs 31 woman because I didn’t think it was attainable. BUT GOD worked on my heart and has been conforming me to His likeness daily.
I’m not perfect. I know that. I still sin, unfortunately. But what I learned over the last several years is this: Jesus died FOR ME. He took my place on that cross and paid the price for my sins past/present/future. He did this so I could be forgiven of all my sins, because He knew there was no way I could save myself. He loves me. He loves all who believe in Him and what He did for each one of us (read that line again -“EACH“ one – He excludes no one – ALL are welcome to believe). I now see everything differently. I am so thankful to God that He did this for me.
I kept digging into scripture and came across Proverbs 31 again. I read it over and over again. What I realized is that it IS attainable IF you don’t work a 40-50 hour a week full-time out-of-the-house job. I have since quit my teaching job in public school and became a stay at home mother. (Yes, we do have to budget, budget, budget! It wasn’t/isn’t an easy switch because my husband doesn’t make six figures). But what I used to think was below me, I have now humbled myself to do. What materials I thought I needed, I don’t actually need. God provides.
This is not a job for the fainthearted or weary. It is a full-time job to raise your own kids and take care of your husband. BUT IT IS SO SATISFYING! My husband and I used to fight a lot and my kids would have never grown up to call me blessed as I was not! I was a complainer, entitled, worn out, grouchy, and running on empty constantly. I am now able to teach my own kids the right way to live rather than leaving it up to the failing public school system to do that. I am able to take care of my husband and allow him to climb the ladder in his job. I’ve never seen him happier or as satisfied. I’ve never been so satisfied and as an extra benefit – happy. Wow, what a difference.
I am so thankful for teachers like Lori to teach the truth. It may seem crazy to you, but I wouldn’t destroy the idea if you’ve never given it a real shot. Genuinely pray for God to open your eyes. God’s ways are always the right ways even when they seem contrary to how you grew up or to the culture. Remember, God doesn’t conform to the culture of any time. It is ever changing. If people see nothing different in you than the non-Christian next door, you should take a look at your beliefs again. I suggest you read scripture and pray on it. God loves you. Pray to be given wisdom and discernment.
I will pray for you.
Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to day, and forever.
18 thoughts on “God Doesn’t Conform to the Culture of Our Time”
I think if more women would stop and actually consider what their lives would be like if they chose God’s ways, they would be surprised. I used to work outside my home, controlled my husband and our finances, was always resentful and angry, didn’t have the energy to be a good wife and mother, I was all about me. Now I am an at home mom of two, my husband leads and manages the money and I am happier than I ever was before. I feel loved, I am not always angry, I’m a better wife and mom with the time to actually enjoy my home and family. I am not always worried about the money, though we have less now that I’m not working. Life is so much sweeter than I would have ever thought it could be! God’s plans aren’t meant to hurt you, He is offering the best to you and your family, if you would just trust Him. Though I still have a lot to learn,I can honestly say I lost absolutely nothing by choosing to do what the Bible says and I am grateful everyday for the opportunity to live my life this way.
There is so much truth in Kristyn’s response, which aligns so powerfully with Lori’s teaching.
An important reminder for me is that my husband can focus his attention on his career as I’m a SAHM. He works long hours, is on call rotationally, and doesn’t end work at the same time each day, depending on task completion. While he certainly helps with driving to evening extracurriculars, my prayer is that while at the office, he can fully focus on his job, not be watching the clock, distracted with “I need to get wrap up early to get home/help with…” We always knew this was our plan after getting married, working, and completing education before starting our family, and we’ve never looked back. I’m so grateful to God for His provision. I am living what I always dreamed of as a wife and mother. Is life perfect? Far from it, but I don’t expect for it to be here on earth. Every challenge, heartbreak, and trial only furthers my reliance on the Lord.
To me, it sounds like a lot of the problem of women WANTING to work is money.
But yet God warns “For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.” 1 Timothy 6:10 KJV
Also women REBELLING against God’s commandment for them.
I’m reminded of a story from the bible about a man named Jonah who rebelled and refused to do what God had said. He was cast into the sea and swallowed by a big fish and spent 3 days and 3 nights in the fish’s belly, considering his rebellion.
Women rebelling against God, do you need to spend several days and nights in a fish’s stinky belly?
1 Samuel 15:23 KJV
For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft …
In the Old Testament, the punishment for witchcraft was what?
And God equates rebellion as the same as witchcraft?
Let’s switch this around.
What if a man refuses to do what God has told him to do?
If a man would REFUSE to work and provide for his wife and children?
If a man REFUSES to love and cherish his wife?
If a man REFUSES to love his children?
If a man REFUSES to spend time with his family but spends all his time with other people?
If a man REFUSES to ravish his wife but is committing adultery with other women?
If a man REFUSES to do as God commands, everyone rightfully condemns him for doing wrong.
But if a woman REFUSES to do what God commands, that is okay because she is enlightened, liberated, empowered??????
I believe most women work to help provide for their family. We do not live above our means, but my job provides the health insurance for our family & I also buy all the groceries. I do not know any woman who works just because they want to. They do it to help keep a roof over their families head & food in their bellies.
I don’t understand why this is all such a big argument…
There are only max 14 hours in the day in which to get things done.
There’s no way a woman can raise 3+ kids, stay thin, eat healthy, have time with the hubby, and have a full-time job requiring a commute in traffic and Relax and Unwind (which we all need.)
It’s not possible.
The only way it’s possible, and this is the unfortunate reality of most parents, is if you feed your kids dinner and ignore them for the rest of the evening. Most parents don’t realize they are bad parents because they don’t know That There are Things To Teach Their Kids.
But the harsh truth is, most parents don’t know anything to teach their kids. The only thing they know is their paper-pushing job.
Things you should talk about daily with everyone in your family:
In no particular order:
5) People, Personality, Family
7) Discussing Everything that happened etc etc
Very few people talk to their family anymore.
I have just started reading Debi Pearl’s Created to be His Helpmeet and it is great! Some of it is very confronting, but it’s very good.
Reading this book, it would be easy to think that Debi hates women, too, but as I read deeper into it, it’s clear that she loves women, and wants us all to *get it* and be blessed.
You’re right about that, KAK! Her book was life-changing for me. I love teaching that is challenging and convicting.
There are MANY women who want to work because they can’t imagine having to be home with their children all day long. Why do you think the feminist leaders were so successful at encouraging women to seek careers?
I have always HAD to work – I’ve never had a choice. My husband has always wanted me to. It’s mostly only been part-time, but there has only been a handful of years out of our 18 year marriage that I have no worked. Some of us don’t have the luxury of working out of “rebellion”. For some of us, it’s a necessity.
I’m hoping it is going to be life-changing for me, too! It was recommended to me by another woman who is also married to a man with addictions and who has endured abuse, and she said Debi teaches that topic well. From what I’ve read so far, Debi is a very wise woman.
Dear Lori, my concerns are that too many women don’t tell you the whole truth. When I worked in a nursery, they took children from 3 months old, children were separated by age so brothers and sisters were usually separate all day long. They usually arrive at 7am sometimes earlier. Some mothers left while the child was crying. Our first job was comforting crying children and giving them breakfast. The manager phoned a mother to ask her to come to her sick child and the mother replied that she couldn’t come because she was in a business meeting. I’ve many stories like this. If they really need extra money, part-time work is usually enough.
My experience was much like yours but without the blessings of kids. I always wanted to be a housewife but was so fearful of the money part.
Life improved 100% when I was where God wanted me to be.
I learned the lesson of Time with Children at the ripe age of 16 with my first *real* job. Afternoon shift at the preschool. Another HSer and I were discussing how long some of the kids were there. After chatting with some of the FT teachers, we learned some kids were there from 6am -5:30pm. That figured to roughly 2 hrs per day of waking time with mom and dad. Meals, bath, and dressing. I made a decision at 16 that any kids I had would never experience that. It broke my heart. And we loved those kids! But we were pitiful subs for Mom.
I would like to challenge the notion that all women who work do so because they “love money”. As a former working mom whose first marriage ended in divorce (!) I would like to state that because my ex-husband regularly failed to provide for the family and also spent our money carelessly, I worked to support our children. I supplied our housing and cars and bought the only house we ever owned. He had no interest in providing or seeking out those things, and I also believe he knew I would provide them as I had done so for him while we were dating and I was still a single working woman. I did not see or have faith that I could work from home once we had children because I had also been brought up in a very poor home in which we regularly went without and my mother did not work. To me, I believed I had to work because I didn’t want my children to experience the hardships I felt growing up. It’s not as easy or black and white as “women love money.” Maybe some do, but I also didn’t know a mother I worked with who wouldn’t have left her job in a moment to be home with her children if she felt the family could have afforded it. Most women who bring children into the world that I encountered WANT to be with their children, but they don’t see a way to do it as they have also come to depend on a lifestyle that is highly above their means. Ultimately, without realizing it, I had picked up much of the feminist mantra before I even met my first husband, and I married a man who subconsciously supported my image of what a woman should be. Some would also say I married into a situation that recreated my early childhood home life…. except, I chose to work and my mother did not, as stated above. I didn’t “love money” but I did and do love my children and I didn’t have faith that I could stay home and provide supplemental income from home for them, as many mothers have done and still do. I also was never encouraged as a young single woman to “just” be a stay-at-home Mom, or taught that this is God’s good and perfect way, until Lori’s blog. I was also raised in a Christian home with loving parents, and I believe many women who fall into similar traps are, as well. We want to do good, and yet, we don’t have the teachings or foundations to do so. This is why Lori’s ministry is so very important.
I am speaking to the many women who want to work and there are many of them. Many mothers don’t want to raise their own children.
I’m glad to hear a few women say that they aren’t working just for the money.
Being 59yrs old, all I am doing is speaking from what I have experienced, what I have seen and what I have heard women saying.
I have heard MANY, MANY women say they are working for their own spending money. Their husband’s job is paying for the mortgage, electric bill, phone bill, food, wife’s student loan debt before they were married, the wife’s credit card bills of before they were married. The money the wife makes while working, that is HER money to spend on herself, not the household bills.
I’m glad to hear there are some women who love being with their children full time.
I have heard MANY, MANY women say that they can’t wait for public schools to reopen so they don’t have to put up with “those brats” all the time. Women dropping “those brats” off at daycare at 7AM and not picking them up till 6PM for 5-6 days a week, 52 weeks a year. And “those brats” definitely aren’t going with her on her vacation travels. Married women hating “those brats” because they ruined her body and men don’t look at her like they did before.
In my marriage to late wife, I supported a wife, 3 children, paid the household bills, bought food, paid wife’s old student loan and her credit card bills from before we married.
ALL ON A WAGE OF $10 PER HOUR.
I lived on what God gave, nothing fancy.
A $500 a month rent, I still drive an 2002 vehicle with 260,000 miles on it. It gets me from point A to point B.
PRAISE THE LORD.
Again, I am glad to hear there are a few women who don’t just work for money and love their children. May the LORD richly bless such women.
I know – I spent many years working as a temp nanny. Sometimes rich women would hire me on a short-term basis so they could “play” – shop, socialise, travel etc. They would hire a different nanny every couple of weeks so the children didn’t get too attached to the nanny. Apparently, the women didn’t like it when the children were more attached to the nanny than their mother. It was sad.