Has Feminism Made Women Better or Happier?

Has Feminism Made Women Better or Happier?

Has feminism made women better or happier? “The feminist movement taught women to see themselves as victims of an oppressive patriarchy…Self-imposed victimhood is not a recipe for happiness” (Phyllis Schlafly). Feminists have made men the enemy and see men as the oppressors who are keeping them from their full potential and ultimate happiness. After all, men used to be the ones who had most of the jobs, made the money and were in positions of authority. This looked so much better to women: to leave their family each day to seek the happiness that was eluding them. “Oppressive patriarchy” became the battle cry to convince women of their self-imposed victimhood and a search to settle the score, even if it meant walking into a harder, stress-filled life that most husbands were trying to protect their wives from.

 In a recent article written by a female retired college professor, Victoria Brown tells of a time when she was screaming at her husband over all of the evils men bring into this world: “In the centuries of feminist movements that have washed up and away, good men have not once organized their own mass movement to change themselves and their sons or to attack the mean-spirited, teasing, punching thing that passes for male culture. Not once. B****. Don’t listen to me. Listen to each other. Talk to each other. Earn your power for once.”

So “good men have not once organized their own mass movement to change themselves…”? Judaism, Christianity, and many of the world’s religions were started by men and carried forward by men to help civilize the world. The Magna Carta, Democracy, and Bill of Rights are just a few of the most recent accomplishments of men making men and women better. Many wars were fought by organized men wanting righteousness: the Civil War to free the slaves and two World Wars to save the world from evil, tyrannical men. Modern day management has been organized by men to improve leaders and employees as team players. Christian colleges, as the seat of learning almost all developed by men for the benefit of men and women but now turned into costly, liberal bastions. Police forces, regulators, FBI – all organized by men to help men and women be fair and civilized towards one another.

One really has to ask, “Dr. Brown, is there really anything that women have organized to make women better as we see what an utter failure feminism is as it streaks towards greater extremes? Are women more gentle, more civil, more committed to faithfulness, and family? Has the free sex of feminism really achieved anything good for women but for a few moments of pleasure and massive heartaches and STD’s?” I have never seen women as mean-spirited as they are today, especially with those with whom they disagree.

No, Dr. Brown, feminism isn’t a women’s mass movement that has changed women for good or made them better and certainly no happier. Yes, women can now vote, have any job they want, get equal pay, and the insanity to abort their child at almost any stage of their unborn baby’s life. But take a look at the women’s marches, mean-spirited speeches, screaming, and dressing up in vagina costumes,then tell me if feminism has not set women back thousands of years in civilization. Feminism has made women far worse as it pushes selfishness while devaluing women’s bodies with immodesty, promiscuity, easy sex, and murdering or neglecting the lives of their own children. Mothers of old would be flabbergasted to see the modern feminist woman.

Women are leaving their children in the care of strangers so they can go off and “pursue their dreams and goals.” Marriages are falling apart at alarming rates and children’s lives are often shortchanged, all the while women are starting to display the very traits in men Dr. Brown so greatly despises. In many cases, instead of having more to offer society, women are leaving their role of mother and wife that only they can adequately fill, to replace a man who can do what they do in the workforce. They come home too tired to adequately care for themselves or family, but somehow this is seen as progress and self-betterment?

If Dr. Brown thinks there is no mass movement that has changed men, she has not been around Christians.  I know many men who are none of those things she claims them to be. My dad, my husband, my sons, my brothers-in-law, my many friend’s husbands and sons, my cousins and their sons, the men in my neighborhood, and most men are not “mean-spirited, teasing, punching things.” Many of these men were raised in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord and were taught His ways: to love God, love others, and treat others better than themselves. A majority of these men she hates are out busting their tails so that their families are well cared for, yet even then many of their wives are not happy. Like Victoria, many women are angry with “men” yet they have forgotten and neglected the one man who loves them enough to stick with their antics and thoughtless screaming. These women are angry because someone has planted a lie in their heads that says, “But what about me?” when everyone of us should be saying, “Life is not about me but what I can do for others.”

No, feminists and their rage aren’t going to accomplish anything good. Screaming at your good husband isn’t going to accomplish this either, Victoria. Is this not the exact behavior you are accusing men of doing? Temper tantrums need to be stopped in children so they don’t continue happening in adulthood as we are seeing in many today. The more women excuse their rage by blaming men, the more they become exactly what they claim they want to change. After all, sin and evil has no gender. It just depends on which sins one wants to count as being most evil. Talk to the manosphere and you will discover this same rage against women because of the evils women have done to husbands by leaving them hurt and broken all in the name of their own selfish freedoms and new found virtue called feminism where a woman’s power to choose trumps common goodness and faithfulness to family.

There is a better way that has held true throughout the centuries, and men under God’s direction have well organized the family unit to be that method of bettering mankind. In the family, we are to train our boys and girls to value each person as God does, and teach God’s ways of love, joy, peace, goodness, and faith. Teach the children to treat others the way they want to be treated without blaming an entire gender for all the problems in the world. It is only individual responsibility based on a minimum standard of common human decency that can keep our society together and help it progress. This is not going to happen, Dr. Brown, by everyone screaming at each other, but instead by seeing that goodness and evil are choices each person makes, so train the foolishness out of your children (Proverbs 22:15), dear women.

Dr.  Brown’s idea of an improved society is to get men to organize themselves for betterment, yet feminism has all but destroyed the greatest betterment program ever called the family. Mom and dad getting along and showing by way of example to the children how they should unselfishly live in a selfish and immoral world. We should be training children in the way they should go and continually teaching them the wonderful precepts of the Lord and who they are in Christ. If you want to create a mass movement that ends in making men and women better, stop destroying the one place where common human decency and love can be best trained, the family. A whole, healthy family with dad at the helm and mom closely following as each lives sacrificially is what betters our culture.

I love the men in my life and I know many others who feel the same way. Without men in this world it would be sorry place, and if they were not filled with testosterone we would not have the bridges, buildings, trains, planes, computers, and cell phones, and many more things that we have today. Let’s stop trying to turn our men into something they are not. And let’s stop turning women into something they are not designed to be either. Stop the stream of screaming and hate towards the other gender and start talking about the reality that we need both sexes to be just the way God created them to be within His roles for each gender. Our culture is desperate for husbands and wives who love each other and are committed to raising well-behaved, mature children who grow up to lead unselfish lives. This is the best betterment movement for all cultures.

Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord.
Hebrews 12:14

24 thoughts on “Has Feminism Made Women Better or Happier?

  1. You made all the points I do too about the detriments of radical feminism! The hook up culture, the “Nasty Woman”, the broken homes and divorce culture, the viewing of children and motherhood as an inconvenience, the hypocrisy of a movement that purports to empower women, but just victimizes and infantilizes them, the inherent sexism in the implication women must be like men to be equal and fully autonomous… etc…etc… I wish we were indeed back in a society where women were celebrated as women, not pseudo-men!

  2. Women nowadays are mad. They are gross, impure, not having a form of womanhood. No, I know this is not all women, but from what I see is seems to be most. Even young women today teenagers, early 20s, have the same temperament. Makes me sick

  3. Most women nowadays, including young women, seem mad! They are not pure, crass, angry, etc. not having a form of godliness or womanhood. It makes me sick. My husband and I have raised three girls. We have taught them to be pure, womanly, not feminist or feel like they have more rights than men. My younger daughter recently got married and is loving being a wife and taking care of a home! It brings joy to my heart. My other daughters long to be married some day also. These women now know nothing about what their role is as a woman. They are fighting for rights and respect like they don’t have anything now! God help us.

  4. There’s data to show that women’s happiness has dropped since the 70s, at least:

    https://www.nber.org/papers/w14969.pdf

    As a commentary on this paper notes, “But strangely, working women in areas with strong traditional values – where most people had voted against equal pay – were happier than working women in liberal cantons…This inside-out result probably arises from different cognitive comparisons. Women in liberal communities are less happy and notice discrimination because they automatically compare their opportunities and salary to everyone else around them, men included. Traditionally minded women perhaps base their identities more firmly on their gender roles, and think only of other women when they evaluate their privilege and opportunities.”

    https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2016/may/18/womens-rights-happiness-wellbeing-gender-gap

    Imagine that! Fostering envy and querulousness doesn’t lead to happiness….

  5. I really wish someone had taught me all this when I was young. I have always yearned to be at home with my children and now that they are grown, home keeping house for my husband.

  6. I’m pretty sure I’ve posted this before, but I watched feminism’s brutality on my poor mom. She loved being a housewife & mom. Then, one by one, women around the neighborhood began going to work and my dad noticed them getting nicer cars, boats, etc. So, off she went to work full time. My dad loved the new cars, the bigger home, etc. In exchange, my mom got 2 jobs and started having problems with the two younger boys. Naturally, she was expected to deal with it because, “that’s woman’s work” to go to the teacher meetings. So, she worked all day, worked all night, tried to be everything to everyone, & I never saw her more miserable. My parents fought all the time, my mom started drinking, & my brothers got into drugs.
    Her reward for all that? A divorce at 52……and drumroll please…..she got to *keep house* as a hotel maid.

    I asked her about it when I got older. She said feminism was straight from hell because that’s what her life became. My aunt later told me when I got married, to find a husband that wanted a SAHW, that I’d be much happier. When she met my husband, she was tickled.

    When I’m asked about being a feminist, I always reply that I’m not, that I’m a woman of God working on being a Proverbs 31 wife. I didn’t used to say ‘the woman of God’ part, but I discovered it stops most women from trying to convince me I am a feminist lol. And, maybe it makes them curious enough to go look up Prov. 31.

    My friends and I now refer to these *enlightened* women as The Screaming Meemies.

  7. For me, feminism was never better displayed when a certain female presidential nominee did not get voted into office. When she realized that she had lost, she pitched a horrible fit, screaming, throwing things, and spewing verbal obsenities. What was even worse was that she left the people who had supported her all through her campaign high and dry to wait to hear her concession speech and her thanks for their support until the next day! It was the height of rudeness and selfishness. And then in her vindictive nature, instead of graciously admitting defeat and encouraging everyone to unify behind the new president, she roused her supporters to fight. She repeated it over and over again. I believe that’s a huge reason we have the rift that we see today. I can’t remember if there was ever a time a man ever behaved so badly in that same circumstance. I will not vote for women for anything ever again because she was just that disgraceful. If there was ever a physical reminder to me of biblical Jezebel in the modern day, it was she. It’s also a good reminder of how very unpleasant I must look when I badly lose my temper.

    1. Great points, R. I sure want men in leadership positions since this is what God sure wanted and He knows best! She did have a temper tantrum and she still is with all of those who voted for her. It’s a sad thing to see and has caused so much destruction in our nation.

      1. I have no qualms voting for a lady because she could be modern day Deborah, HOWEVER most of the ladies I have seen in power tend to push their children onto someone else to look after.

        They also likely to act too manly and demand that they are treated like their male colleagues, then complain about the lack of flexibility in time of to look after children. till eventually you pray for them to get ‘bullied out of office’.

        The new Zealand premier got round that however by bringing baby into parliament so she could breastfeed her. Lol.

        I don’t want to fully critisize them as I don’t act all lady at times but am working on it. But it’s not all easy when you don’t have no role models.

  8. Great article! Well written. I have always stayed home, even though I have received many nasty comments throughout the years from women. When my youngest graduated, I got asked if I was going to work now. Really? I haven’t worked all these years taking care of my family and home? I cannot stomach all those screaming banshees that call themselves feminists. We call them “femi-nazis”.

  9. I would like to comment on your facebook post about the difficult father-in-law. This is a very uplifting post and I appreciate your posting it. My grandmother did not want my mother to marry her son (my father) and she did everything she could to stop the wedding. Several times they had a wedding planned, and each time at the last minute my dad’s mom pitched a fit and it was cancelled. Finally, my parents’ pastor told them to make their plans and follow through with them, which they did. My grandmother made my mother’s life Hell for may years, but my mother persisted in her kindness. At the end of my grandmother’s life, when my mother was taking care of her day and night, my grandmother told my mom how much she appreciated her and that my mom had treated her better than her own daughters. Kindness is never wasted.

  10. Great article. Feminism is just a satanic departure from what God tells us to do in His word, the Bible.

    Feminists have made men the enemy …
    Yes, on the surface it is envy of men, and all the hatred that follows from envy. But underlying all of Feminism is rebellion against God and the way He made us, and how He prescribed for us all to function. God is the Father of Patriarchy, the Father of differing creation, and roles, The Father of the traditional family, the Father of male headship, the Father of female subjection. 90% of what Feminism rebels against, is God’s divine plan for us.

    Talk to the manosphere and you will discover this same rage against women …
    For some men. Initially many go through that state, due to what has been done to them, but you’re missing the event of our times, the mass movement to change themselves and their sons, if you only see the bits of “rage”. Don’t miss that the manosphere is steadily growing and evangelizing more and more men to oppose not Godly women, but the corrupted churches, biased family courts, unfair domestic violence procedures, and unsubstantiated #MeToo accusations, that ungodly women exploit to enable them to leave their rightful place, and disregard and even abuse men, their rightful heads.

    It is time to take the “Red Pill” and join the movement to bring back God’s Patriarchy. Don’t let the unchurched turn to God’s ways out of sheer practicality, while the “saints” are busy turning away to satanic Feminism, join the movement and lead it rightly, Ken.

    1. Ken,

      I appreciate you. Men are leaving the church. I hadn’t gone in 3 years. I only started because a pastor friend brought me back from divorcing my wife who is a feminist who claimed not to be. She has always been provided for. Sahm, and had plenty of money. She wanted her sovereignty, and has a tone and body language that makes me want to drive spikes through my head.

      This pastor friend has turned into a total cuckchristian. He can’t answer simple questions like if women should win their husbands without a word…

      I may stop going when my son moves out next year. I have yet to meet a pastor who will stand up to women.

      1. I hear you, but just as a minister does not have to be perfect to minister, neither does a Believer have to have a pastor who teaches all of God’s Word to go to church. We go to church for many reasons and can ministry, worship and be ministered to even when our pastors are not perfect with what they teach… especially if they are sound in doctrine. The other things are important, and not teaching what God says about marriage is a disaster for Christianity in the US, but it is a bigger disaster when Christians stop going to church.

        I also think you should consider your children who are watching you. Mom already is leading them astray, and then Dad doesn’t love the Lord enough to go to church? I know that is not the way you see it, but it is the way they will see it.

        Few pastors will teach all of God’s Word on these matters, and those that do often tend towards legalism. Satan has this game played just right and our pastors live in fear of their congregation, especially the women. But we have to let God worry about that but still keep doing our part for the Kingdom. Don’t become part of the problem just because there is a huge problem. That applies to a marriage and the church. Live at peace and allow God to use you to win others by your love and the way you live your life. Challenge your wife and pastor, but ponce they know where you stand there is only one thing you can do, keep showing them God’s love through you. You never know when they will be won over and transformed.

    2. Hi Elias,

      I hear what you are saying about the organizing for good in the manosphere but my brief stints on some of those blogs reminds me of the blogs that go after Lori. Few dare actually defend women or speak some truth that does not go against women without some angry men jumping all over them.

      I recall jumping on a blog to say that Lori’s post that went viral about housework never says a man should never help his wife around the house. Boy did I get it an earful of nastiness. I try to avoid both nasty arenas as much as possible.

      We are not in any crusade against women as many feminists surmise, just the anti-God, anti-man, anti-Bible, anti-family aspects of the feminists which yes, is quite a bit of it.

      For the Believing men and women… they are under the Lordship of Christ and are to obey the Word of God over culture. I do feel the pain of the men who have been totally taken advantage of by their wives, sometimes cruelly, but this is an issue on both sides. But it does seem to becoming epidemic with far to many Christian wives divorcing their husbands, trying to take the kids, or deserting the kids, and leaving the husband to hold the alimony and support bag. It’s cruel in too many circumstances, and without excuse, so I feel your pain.

      The only way out of the mess is if Christians will start doing things God’s ways no matter what. And herein the big clash with feminism as feminism is all about a woman finding what is “best for me” when Christianity is about find what is best for God and others. These two goals are antithetical and cannot be reconciled no matter how much the “christian feminist” wants to try.

      1. Ken,
        If you don’t like the manosphere, because people insult you for siding against them, with the women, perhaps you also shouldn’t insult your wife’s online readers by siding against them with apostate and false teaching “churches”:
        … Dad doesn’t love the Lord enough to go to church …
        That’s an uncalled for low blow against Jeff. That is part of why men are leaving the churches. They get disrespected gratuitously, from the pulpit by false teachers.

        Romans 12:10 Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.

        Many devout God fearing men have realized that the churches have become the unfaithful “Great Whore” passing themselves off as the “Bride of Christ” while they are actually in love with the prince of this world, and ashamed of God’s words.

        2 Corinthians 6:17 Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you. 18 And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.

        Many men see that our churches actually destroy marriages, by teaching what is directly contrary to God’s instructions. And the “churches” don’t want to hear you set them straight. Try going to any church and telling them the women should remain silent, and should pray with their heads covered, because God’s word says so. Then see whether they repent and obey God, or start disrespecting you for wanting things God’s way.

        I ditched the churches too. It isn’t just a few bad ones, they’re all hopelessly corrupt, and the proof is there in the powerlessness of the churches to even change the lives of those within the church. There is no discipline, no faith , no fear of God, and they don’t even know their Bible. It is a cheap substitute, a great whore, it ain’t the bride of Christ. I fellowship with believers wherever I can. Here, elsewhere online, at work, with my children when I get to see them.

        Let me challenge you Ken, I’ve got at least 3 verses in 1 Corinthians 11 that say your wife should cover her head when she prays. How many verses do you have that say I need to be in a church building on Sunday morning? LOL I got you there.

        Anyway, I see Jeff as trying to fellowship here, with us as the Bible commands him to, and you mocked his love for God because he isn’t needing his Bible blended and spoon fed to him at “church” led by a “total cuckchristian” who can’t answer a simple question, if it challenges Feminism.

        You’ll do more for the cause of Christ if you challenge men like Jeff to start their own home churches, how they feel a church should be, than by asking them to return to the vomit they wisely left. The Lord’s word and the Lord’s spirit, convict me of a lot of things, but ditching the worldly churches of this age isn’t one of them. If I’m going to prevail, against the gates of hell, it won’t be with those weak willed losers.

        1. Elias,

          In looking back at my comment to Jeff it is hardly insulting and you have quoted me out of context. The context is that his children are watching him and if he gives up on the church what are his children supposed to think and how may the follow. I could have worded it better, but it certainly was not meant as an insult.

          I fully understand how the church has let down men and women in marriage. I was one of those who was told, “love as Christ loves the church” by three different sources. It is not that they are not correct, especially if the husband is the only one sitting in the counseling session. But where the church really fails is from the pulpit, afraid to address the core issues of the Christian marriage anymore for fear of losing attendees and catching heat from not just women, but men too on these matters.

          But where I completely disagree is that we give up on the church. How are we to give up on the body of Christ when we ourselves are part of His body. As John Stott eloquently said: “I trust that none of my readers is that grotesque anomaly, an unchurched Christian. The New Testament knows nothing of such a person. For the church lies at the very centre of the eternal purpose of God.”1 God does not save people from sin without also saving them into the body of Christ.” http://www.equip.org/article/does-the-bible-require-christians-to-attend-church/

          I would have enjoyed taking you up on your challenge as I can think of 20 places and I believe there to be over 50 which speak “do not neglect to gather together” and “when you come together” etc. for the requirement for regular church going. Certainly the address by the apostles of their epistles is most often to “the church” and Paul speaks of establishing churches. So the issue of regular church attendance is scripturally indisputable.

          As for head coverings, we cover that once or twice in blog posts, and perhaps it is on the Always Learning blog, and certainly have responded to it many times as it is perhaps the only thing that our trolls can point to that they believe Lori does not observe or teach. And the reason for this is found right in the passage where the apostle Paul concludes the head covering discussion with: “For long hair is given to her as a covering. If anyone wants to be contentious about this, we have no other practice—nor do the churches of God. If anyone wants to be contentious about this, we have no other practice—nor do the churches of God.” (1 Cor. 11:15-16) First, Lori does go to church with her head covered as she has long hair, which Paul just said is her covering. Second, Paul, under the inspiration of the Spirit is not insisting upon it.

          I am all for house churches, and if Jeff would like to go that way it would be great. My point is that of Stott, that no matter how much we may wish our church did this or that differently or taught this or that differently, there is no perfect church. This is by God’s design. A group of Believers uniting together worshiping God and using our gifts even when the pastor, brother of sister sitting next to us does not agree with us theologically. Even if they are dead wrong on their interpretation of the Bible, or worse yet, walking in sin, we are still united into the body of Christ and we are to love, forgiven and have grace as Christ has for us. Is it possible that church is far more important for what we are to give to it that what we perceive we are getting from it? Regardless it is God’s design, and just like marriages are generally imperfect because it has two people in it, so too a church with many people will be imperfect, and God is using it to make us into the image of His son.

          Thanks for the discussion, and Jeff if I offended you in any way I apologize. That certainly was not my intent or heart.

          1. But where the church really fails is from the pulpit, afraid to address the core issues of the Christian marriage anymore for fear of losing attendees…
            It is worse than that. It isn’t that churches don’t address marriage, it is that the churches fight against women being asked to submit to their husbands with all kinds of finger pointing and blaming of husbands for their wives lack of submission. The worse she behaves, the harder they try to besmirch the husband, to make him guilty of causing his wife’s sin. They teach a doctrine of marriage that is the opposite of the book of Hosea, and they blame Adam for Eve’s transgression, which all-knowing God never did. The Bible shows us that women sin of their own will, and quite often lead men into sin and idolatry. Hosea, the most loving man, had a wife who cheated on him constantly. Job, the most righteous man, had a wife who was disgusted by him and told him to “curse God and die”. The Bible shows that many of the best men of all time were oppressed by the evil of their wives. And a holy and pure single man like Joseph was falsely imprisoned for the very adultery he refused to commit with his master’s wife, because of her false accusation.
            As I mentioned before the “church” is destroying marriages with their false teaching. If you haven’t had a wife like Hosea’s, don’t (like the churches) make assumptions against those who might. Hosea did exactly love his wife like God loved the nation Israel, and in spite of his divinely perfect love his wife scorned him and cuckolded him completely and without restraint. It was not Hosea’s fault, his wife was returning evil for good. That happens all the time, and the false church satanically trashes God’s servants and vindicates the whores who also satanically torment them.

            But where I completely disagree is that we give up on the church.
            I think where we disagree is on what the “church” is and isn’t. A building full of people being willfully misled every weekend is a cult or false church to me. I get far more opportunity to interact with Bible believing Christians online in a week, than I ever got at church. Playing dress-up on the weekend to perhaps make brief impromptu comments to perhaps three people, is far less fellowship than making 15 lengthy replies online throughout the week that may each be read by a few hundred souls. I also learn far more, and far better, from online interaction with people who are actually well studied and passionate about their faith even during the week. Am I being the church here, contending for the faith? or was I being the church when I sat in the megachurch listening to worldly crowd pleasing psychobabble?

            she has long hair, which Paul just said is her covering.
            That’s not what Paul is trying to say. Read it again. Fear God, enough to take an easy measure to make sure your lamb is not transgressing God’s command on your account.
            Calling those who try to bring the church back to where it was before Feminism, for the first 19 centuries, “trolls”, is compounding your error. Thank God you’ve arrived with your superior Feminist knowledge to pull the holy women’s head coverings off after 19 centuries of the Apostle Paul’s needless oppression of all Christian women. /S
            Job 12:2 No doubt but ye are the people, and wisdom shall die with you.
            It is a bit arrogant to assume that the early church had it all wrong, but this vile divorce, adultery, and fornication, filled church has finally got it all figured out, that all you need is a bit of Spandex covering the women’s tops and bottoms.

            I agree with 99% of what you have to say Ken, I however still will contend for God’s ways. Calling that trolling, or calling separating oneself from false teachers; giving up on the “church”, is your assessment. Thank you for allowing me to comment here, even though I know you don’t agree with some of my views. May God’s truth show through our discussion.

          2. I certainly would not expect you to agree with me 100% Elias, and I always enjoy a good discussion when I have time for them. “As iron sharpens iron,” so too can we grow in our knowledge and understanding, recognizing that ones perspective is often born through their experiences and pain.

            Online interacting with fellow Believers can be a part of the church, but it can never replace corporate worship or face to face interactions with other Believers. There is no way to adequately see the many gifts of the Spirit on display and being used without a group of Believers meeting together, at least in a home church.

            I come from a church planting family, so I know most of the sins of the church, church splits and all the ugly behind the scenes stuff. I have an M. Div. but have never pastored a church in part because I have never felt called to do so, but also I feel it was hard to stomach things of the church that made me lose my desire to do so. It is still in the back of my mind that maybe one day I will have a go at it.

            But that said, I have nothing but admiration for many of the pastors out there. Imperfect as they are, some doing it for the wrong reasons perhaps, but they have made themselves available to God to use them where the rubber meets the road in the lives of people. “Oh no, here comes Mrs. Jones again.” “Another burial, another sermon, another divorce,” the heartache and stress on a pastor is great. Where the rubber meets the road is the local church. It cannot be measured well by theology, but instead is measured well by the fruit of the saints who have joined together for something bigger then themselves… the outworking of the body of Christ in lives of Believers and their community.

            Many of our churches have joined with culture too much, trying to be relevant, but so long as Jesus has not reached a point of spewing the lukewarm out of His mouth, we too must be a part of the imperfect church in our local community. It is a command…

            “And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near” (Hebrews 10:24-26). “When you come together, each one has a hymn, a lesson, a revelation, a tongue, or an interpretation. Let all things be done for building up” (I Cor. 14:26)

            My mother wore a heard covering to church each Sunday, along with many of the other women in the church, but not all. I am well aware of the practice, and yet do believe that it would cause more harm than good for my wife to wear a head covering to church. We are not supposed to draw attention to ourselves, but more so, the apostle makes it clear that we are not to make this a point of contention. And that is what it would most likely become for some. There are times Paul says he speaks with instructions from God, and other times his he makes clear that the thoughts are his thoughts.

            It is sad to hear of so many men who have been wronged by the church in that the church does not seem to acknowledge or accept that some wives are just bad actors. Men too can be actors, but not as much as women, as men tend to wear their sins out in the open more so than some women who can raise hands high and church then try to run their husband over, (literally and figuratively) in the parking lot on her way out. I would say that there used to be more blame on husbands than wives back when wives were taught to be submissive, but now I wonder if we have not reached the tipping point with more “christian” wives being disobedient to the Word than their husbands, or at least in more damaging ways to the marriage than husbands. It is hard to know for sure, but our experience shows many more marriages are lost or in disarray because of wives than husbands.

            I go back to the only foundation that can save us and our marriages and that is to plant firmly on God’s Word. Not insisting that the other spouse obey it, but insisting that I try to obey it before asking my wife to consider her sins. With neither if both spouses are trying to do their part regardless of what the other does or does not do, marriage works, and the other spouse can be won. If either party is waiting for the other to be perfect like Jesus before doing their part, almost all hope is lost.

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