How Do Wives Win Husbands Who are Believers?

How Do Wives Win Husbands Who are Believers?

“Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear” (1 Peter 3:1, 2) Are these verses only for women who are married to unbelievers? Many believe this to be so, but I do not. Even Christian men can disobey the Word of God! The Apostle Paul could have easily written, “… that, if any are unbelievers…” since this word is used other places in the Bible.

If these verses only apply to unbelievers, does this mean that women married to believers who are disobedient to the Word don’t have to live in subjection to their husbands and win them without the word with godly behavior? Are they supposed to give them a piece of their mind instead and try to make them be obedient to the Word by preaching to them, manipulating, rebuking, confronting, scolding, and quarreling with them instead? NO!

These verses apply to those who are married to believers and unbelievers. There is nowhere in Scripture that commands wives to try to convict and change their husbands. God is very specific on how wives are to respond to disobedient husbands.

If your believing husband is doing something that you know to be sin, of course, you can make a humble and kind plea to him, but then you need to give it to the Lord as you live in subjection to your husband with godly behavior.

Christian husbands aren’t perfect. Many of them have their struggles with sin like unbelievers and having a wife who berates and belittles them is not going to help them overcome their sin. Seeing their wives shine Jesus by being kind, submissive, loving, patient, and joyful will have a much better chance of convicting their believing and unbelieving husbands to change.

All wives are to take these verses and live them out; for they are a recipe for a better marriage. Don’t quote Bible verses to your husbands and try to change them with your words or with the words of the Bible. Win them with your godly behavior. We are told to adorn ourselves with subjection unto our own husbands (1 Peter 3:5). This includes all married Christian women no matter who they married.

Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.
1 Peter 3:6

7 thoughts on “How Do Wives Win Husbands Who are Believers?

  1. Great article! My sister in law used this method to win over her husband, though it was about healthy, natural alternatives, not a Christian principle.

  2. I may be confused, but should the title of your post say “Unbelievers”? The graphic title uses unbelievers in the question.

    Great counsel and encouragement, as usual! 🙂

  3. What if the wife desires sanctuary, but the husband is not interested? What should she do?

    ” even if some of them refuse to obey the
    word, they may be won over without a word through your
    conduct as wives1 2when they see your pure and reverent lives.2
    3Your beauty should not be an external one, consisting of
    braided hair or the wearing of gold ornaments and dresses.3
    4Instead, it should be the inner disposition of the heart, consisting
    in the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of
    great value in the sight of God.” I PETER chaspter 3.
    The Bible speaks to this directing the woman to focus from the inside, from her character. To work on developing her femininity. It is her femininity that her husband needs. This is not a superficial thing, it is a need of his soul, behind his wall of self protection. This is how her femininity reaches to the hunger in his soul for respect and esteem. And as it stirs up, he can gain the courage to reach beyond his grid of self protection to her.

    What if the husband desires it, but his wife is not interested?
    ” In a similar way, you husbands must live with your wives in
    an understanding manner, as with a most delicate vessel.a Honor
    them as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing
    may interfere with your prayers.” I PET 3.
    The Bible is telling us that he is to be the man: her man. Regardless of her posture, he is the primary masculine entity in her world. Masculinity engages things for good. Masculinity protects. Masculinity builds, and plans for the future. She needs his masculinity. As the wife was instructed, the husband also is to move from the inside, developing his masculinity. As this happens the need inside her comes to life, as she feels the security, guidence, and identity that her femininity needs from him. If she gains courage, she will open up her grid of self protection to him.
    Now realize that this requires a lot of patience and long suffering on the part of both the husband and wife because it is not magic. It is about character, and it could take a long time.

    Bob Hardesty

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